Disclaimer: I don't own shit. Except this story. Which is kind of like shit.

- Some odd days after the Akatsuki return -

"Okay, Okay. I know that it was our fault we hid under the couch for three years, But Sakura wasted over six thousand dollars from our fund. I thought getting money was one of your steps to ruling the world or whatever." Kakuzu grumbled.

Pain's eyes narrowed as what The Akatsuki in front of him where saying sunk into his brain.

"She should get punished or something at least!"

"She pissed in our flower pots.."

"Who knew Sakura was so fucking hot while she pissed though?" Hidan chuckled.

"You actually watched that, yeah?"

"I'm into alot of shit, Blondie. I get every woman I look at because of it too."

The other argument between Kakuzu, Kisame, Itachi and Pain stopped as they looked at Hidan, eyebrows cocked.

"Yeah right Hidan. You always get punched out at bars." Kisame snorted.

Hidans response was a lustful growl from the pit of his stomach and a rough sounding 'But that's the way I like it.'

Pain looked vaguely disturbed at the bit of information about Hidan's sex life, making a mental note to never invite the man to any parties of his.

"Hey, you fucks. Stop looking at me like that. C'mon Kakuzu, back me up. I'm a sexy beast right?"

"..."

Hidan looked at Kakuzu who stood there, still staring at the jashinist with an eyebrow arched, eye twitching slightly until his face relaxed and he smiled from underneath his mask. Now, as your wondering why I'm explaining such an insignificant movement, I must remind you that Kakuzu never smiles unless his hair extensions are half off at Wal-mart. And in the other rare cases in which he smiles, is either when Hidan gets his ass kicked or he finds a way to piss Hidan off.

This was one of those rare cases.

"Hey, Hidan?"

"Huh?"

"Member that chick that we had to escort to the Land Of Rain once? The one you said 'had an ass worth three Jashin bibles?'"

"Uh. Yeah, Your fucking point? She was hot."

"Member how you tried the whole mission to get in her pants?"

Some of the Akatsuki looked at Kakuzu instead of Hidan, trying not to laugh desperately as they learned new tidbits of information.

"Uhm. I wasn't trying to bang her or anything. It was more like .."

"More like what, Hidan?"

Hidan gave Kakuzu a dirty look before answering Kisame.

"Fuck. Okay, yeah I was trying to fuck her. Your point, Kakuzu?"

"I just wanted to tell you that if you nibble on a certain part of her stomach, she makes this really cute mewling soun-"

Hidan practically lunged at Kakuzu, his lips pulled back in an animalistic snarl as he leaped at the older man.

"You mother fucker!"

But he was sorely mistaken that he could take Kakuzu, who moved out of the way and let the Jashinist smack into the wall, laughing at his anguish.

"Are you two done?" Pain sighed.

Kakuzu just stood in silence while an injured Hidan sat up and mumbled about letting fireman hookers molest Kakuzu in his sleep later that night.

"Yeah yeah, We're done. Kakuzu, you better sleep with your eyes open tonight though."

"Shut up, Hidan."

Itachi rolled his eyes and turned away from the Zombie brothers to his leader.

"Sakura should be punished. We all agree."

"And how will you punish her?"

Hidan's face contorted into a devious grin and he looked at Kisame, who shared a grin close to the same proportions.

Pain just mimicked Itachi's rolling eyes and walked from out of the living room, muttering something about hiring new members to fill in for the ones that might 'end up' dead.

"Jeesh Kakuzu, Uhn. You put a dent in that wall with Hidan's hard head. It's a new lair, I'm surprised Leader didn't bitch about it."

Hidan snarled at Deidara, his temper apparently short that night, before turning his glare to Kakuzu, just daring him to say something. But the taller man just grunted and turned away from Hidan.

"How are we going to get Sakura back?"

"I don't even get why you guys are mad at Sakura."

Kisame looked at Itachi in a sort of 'Wtf' way, like he was missing the big picture or something.

"She looked at all of my porn and ate my cheetos. Not to mention your dango, Itachi."

"DANGO." Itachi sort of twitched, eyes going pupiless and his head hanging to the side, before foaming at the mouth with a dead stare at Kisame.

"What the fuck?" Hidan jabbed his finger into Itachi's cheek, but alas had no reaction. "The fuck did you do to him, Kisame?"

"Watch, When he snaps out of it, he'll be in a killing mood and ell tell us how to punish her."

"And you know this how, Uhn?"

"Remember the hurricane that hit the Land Of Snow?"

"Yeah..Everyone was talking about it because it's near impossible that the land of snow would have a hurricane."

"Itachi got some bad dango there."

"Your shitting me, right?" Hidan's white eyebrow was arched, his face scrunched into a 'I don't fucking believe you' look.

"Nope."

Everyone kind of stood infront of Itachi with a disturbed look in the growingly awkward silence after that conversation, images of what he could do to them running through their head.

And then Deidara and the until now silent Tobi jumped when Itachi spoke, Tobi shrieking like a hooker who lost their morning waffle.

"K-k..kill..Must..kill..Sa..ku..ra.."

Kisame and Hidan touched either side of the still foaming at the mouthed Itachi, smiling again.

"We have something that will bother her even more than death, Itachi."

"Hm?"

Itachi smiled with them after listening to their plan, wiping the foam on Kisame's sleeve. This was going to be good.

Sakura lay in her new bed, grumbling about the Akatsuki being alive and how it was a nuisance. The whole Akatsuki except Itachi, Tobi and Pain had been avoiding her and she couldn't tell why. And to tell the truth, it sort of hurt. She was used to joking around with the fucks, even if they were retarded. And the thought of current friends brought her to thoughts about the Leaf and Team 7, thoughts that she had long since thought about. She wondered if they survived Deidara's explosion as well. Probably. They always seemed to survive anything anyone threw at them. Hell, Kakashi survived death!

Her thoughts were broken by the authors distressed call that was written in the para..XD Lmao no. Just kidding, pretend this sentence didn't happen.

Sakura's thoughts were broken when a loud knock came from the other side of her door.

"Come in."

Kisame walked in, smiling in a sort of calm way. It was sort of..Scary.

"Hey. Whatcha doing?"

"Uhm..nothing really. Just laying down for a bit."

"Oh. The move must have been tiring for you."

Sakura looked at him in an odd way. Kisame was having a normal conversation with her. Normal. Conversation. Those two words never go with Kisame. He's NEVER normal, and conversations end quickly with him if he's not interested. Being around the normally silent Itachi must have rubbed off on him.

"..Yeah. I guess."

"Hey, Sakura?"

"Hm?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go to the club with us."

"Uhm..I thought banned you guys from going clubs ever since Hidan got drunk and tried raping the mayor of that town."

Kisame looked at her in a weird way, He was learning many things about Hidan today.

"No..We're aloud too." His look was normal again.

"Oh..Okay..I guess I can go.."

"Okay."

And then he was gone.

But Sakura was suspicious even though Kisame had been kind to her. What the hell was he planning?