A/N: Happy New Year! Here's a new episode, with the title being one of my favorite Aerosmith songs! Hope it's enjoyable!
Disclaimer: I don't own THAT 70S SHOW, Aerosmith, nor Peaches and Herb.
9.5: Cryin'
Kitty made breakfast, and Hyde walked into the house.
"Steven!" she exclaimed. "Happy Valentines Day! Come in come in!"
"Hi Kitty, can I have some breakfast?" he asked. "I'm going to work in a half hour and I can't spend another minute in my apartment."
"Of course you can, honey, just sit down and relax," Kitty said. "There isn't going to be much, I'm just going to whip up some pancakes and eggs and bacon."
"That's fine," Hyde said, smirking. Red walked into the kitchen.
"Didn't I throw you out?" Red asked.
"You did, but I've exiled myself from my apartment," Hyde said. "Jackie was hogging the bathroom doing her hair for her stupid job and I asked if I could brush my teeth and we just began yelling at each other. I would say it was like our relationship but this time around instead of throwing her arms around me at the end she threw a brush at me."
"Hell hath no fury, Steven," Kitty said, beating batter vigorously.
"She's the expert," Red said. Kitty shot him a look, and Red hid behind his newspaper.
Eric walked into the kitchen, hair sticking up and still in his boxers and tee shirt.
"Foreman, what the hell?" Hyde asked. "You're supposed to open today!"
"No worries, I switched my shift with Leo," Eric said, yawning. "Are you making pancakes, mom?"
"Dude, you know Leo can't be trusted to open the store," Hyde exclaimed, standing up. "He usually falls asleep on the couch instead of opening!" He went for the door.
"Aren't you staying for breakfast, Steven?" Kitty asked.
"No, thank you," Hyde said. "I'll get you for this, Foreman." He left the kitchen.
"He's crabby today," Eric said.
"Roommate problems," Kitty said.
"Ah, I don't blame him," Eric said. "I remember when I had to share a house with a spoiled devilspawn. Thank God Laurie's hit the road for good." As he said this, Laurie walked through the kitchen door.
"Mommy, Daddy, I'm home!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms open for a hug. Everyone was shocked by her appearance.
"This is karma for switching shifts with the deatbeat, isn't it?" Eric asked the heavens.
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Donna met Jackie outside the radio station for their lunch break. Jackie's hair was not as perfect as it usually was, and Donna could tell this put her in a foul mood.
"So where are we going?" Donna asked.
"I want Chinese food," Jackie stated. "There's one next door, let's go."
"I thought it was too fatty."
"I'm just pissed enough to be able to overlook the fat content," Jackie said, as they walked into the restaurant. "First of all, look at my hair."
"I'm looking," Donna said, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder.
"It was supposed to be in French braids this morning, but thanks to that inconsiderate creep I live with I had to go with regular ones!" she stated as they were seated.
"I can see how that would throw off your day," Donna said, hiding the sarcasm.
"Two, it's Valentines Day and I'm all alone," Jackie said. "I hate being alone on Valentines Day."
"Not to gloat, but Eric is taking me out to dinner."
"Not to mention my boss is still Satan's bride," Jackie said. "This morning she told me that I had to take back her coffee because she asked for half regular half decaf with three sugars and exactly a thimble full of cream!"
"Yikes," Donna said. "Have you considered quitting?"
"I really don't want to, I have nothing else going for me," Jackie said.
"That's spoken like a true loser."
"Thanks."
"Come on, Jackie, you have a lot going for you!" Donna exclaimed. "College, for instance. Why stay here forever working for a succubus?"
"What, go to Madison?" Jackie asked.
"Or somewhere else," Donna said. "Somewhere far from Point Place and botched French braids. Somewhere like…"
"Minnesota?" Jackie asked.
"… Uh, sure, why not there?" Donna said. Jackie began thinking a little.
"… Did you see how off my eyeliner is too?" Jackie asked. Donna leaned in, and tisked.
"It's a travesty."
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Eric came into work, and saw Fez on the couch, listening to The Sex Pistols.
"Hey Fez, since when do you listen to the hard stuff?" Eric asked.
"Since Janie told me it was her favorite band," Fez said. "I'm trying to get into whatever she likes so we can have something to talk about besides Jackie."
Leo popped up from behind the counter.
"See! It was totally fine switching shifts!" Eric exclaimed, pointing at him. "You came in! You've been working!"
"You guys need to quiet down, I was trying to nap," Leo said, yawning. Hyde walked out of the office, and pointed to him, looking at Eric as if to say 'I told you so'.
Janie walked into the record store.
"Hey guys," she said. Fez stood up, and held up the record he was listening to. "Is that the best band in the world I see before me?"
"The one and only!" Fez said, grinning. "Janie, you were right. The Sex Pistols are great. I love the music. They play their instruments with such raw passion. It's almost sexy." Janie smirked, and crossed her arms.
"What are you talking about, Fez?" she asked. "Their instrument playing is godawful. They barely laid any bass tracks on when Sid was there because he was too high to play the notes." Eric laughed a little, and went to the counter to get ready for his shift.
"It's the lyrics that should speak to you," Janie said.
"That's what I meant," Fez said. She chuckled, and ruffled his hair with her hand.
"Adorable," she said. "Hey Hyde, do you have any Def Leppard?"
"I have a demo of their new album in storage. You can have the first copy though."
"Really?"
"Really. Right this way," Hyde said, leading her towards the back room.
"Awesome!" Janie said, following him. Fez snorted.
"He's going to steal her away from me," Fez said. Leo and Eric looked at each other.
"Fez, all you have to do is be yourself," Eric said. "She'll like you for who you are."
"You think so?" Fez asked.
"Oh God no, you aren't bad ass enough," Eric stated, and laughed. Fez turned on his heel, and stormed out of the record store.
"… So can I go back to napping?" Leo asked.
"Would you prefer the couch?" Eric asked in return.
"…. Maybe."
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Donna and Jackie went to the Foreman's basement after work, and were surprised to see Laurie was there.
"Oh God, she's back," Donna said. Laurie looked up, and smiled fakely at them.
"Well if it isn't Mary and Rhoda," she said, snidely.
"Who's who?" Jackie asked. Laurie gave her a look.
"I guess you'd be Mary," Laurie answered, not expecting to have to clarify. Jackie happily jumped up and down a little, and Donna rolled her eyes. "If you guys are looking for Eric he's not here, he took the closing shift at Hyde's store tonight."
"What?" Donna exclaimed. "He didn't tell me! And it's Valentines Day!"
"Sorry, don't know what to tell you," Laurie said. "What did you need Eric for besides fooling around?"
"Ew!" Jackie exclaimed, and Donna kicked her in the shin. "Ow!"
"Well don't imply that my sex life is gross!"
"Anyway, I was wondering if he had any extra Minnesota applications around," Jackie said. "I'm going to apply there for school and I know he took a few from there for this coming fall because he's compulsive."
"You can look around, they'd probably be in his desk," Laurie said.
"Actually, he's compulsive but not organized," Donna said, and pulled an application out from under the couch. "Here ya go, Jackie."
"Thanks, Donna!" Jackie said, and Donna began feeling under the couch for other things. She managed to pull out a bag of weed.
"Ooh! Lookie lookie!" Donna exclaimed. "Wanna smoke it?"
"I'm in," Laurie said, moving her chair around the table.
"Oh come on, Donna, we're college girls," Jackie said, putting the application in her purse. "We're too mature for weed now."
"I bet it's Hydes," Donna said.
"Yeah okay I'm in," Jackie said.
They sat in the circle, and laughed and smoked.
"So, if I go to Minnesota," Jackie said, giggling, "we'll be, like, enemies, right?"
"…. I think so," Donna said. "But I don't follow football, and I think that's the only area we'd be sworn enemies."
"Oh…… Stupid Badgers."
"Stupid GOPHERS!"
"Hey hey hey, you two," Laurie said. "Let's not fight about mascots. Let's fight about something worthwhile."
"Men suck!" Jackie stated.
"Now you're talking!" Laurie said.
"Mine doesn't," Donna said, and smiled. "Eric is so considerate and kind and cares about my needs."
"And that's why he took a night shift on Valentines Day, because he's so considerate and kind and caring," Jackie said. Donna's face fell, and she hit Jackie on the shoulder. "OW!"
"Shut up!"
"Fine….At least you guys don't live with a man," Jackie said. "Steven is such a bad roommate."
"That's only because you're pissed at him," Donna said.
"Fill me in," Laurie said.
"It's because he wrecks everything!" Jackie stated, ignoring Laurie. "He makes my life miserable and now I'm stuck in an apartment with him!"
"How come?" Laurie asked.
"You didn't have to agree on that," Donna said.
"It was your idea!"
"I'm so confused!" Laurie said.
"I just wish that we could be back to what we used to be before we were dating and our loathing was reduced to a toleration of each other," Jackie said. "… Wow, I'm really smart when I'm high!"
"If you guys don't talk it out it's going to explode and you'll never be friends again," Donna said. "So… Okay, here's what you do. You go home, and you say 'Hyde… We need to talk… You're a jerk, and the reason I think this is….' Okay, I lost my train of thought."
"Why are you living with Hyde?" Laurie asked.
"If one train of thought leaves Santa Fe at ten going sixty miles and hour, and another train of thought leaves Denver going….Okay, my head is all weird," Jackie said. "Perfect time to go fill out my college application. See you guys later!" She stood, and rushed away from the circle and out of the basement.
"… Why is she living with Hyde?" Laurie asked.
"Long story," Donna said. "… I'm hungry… I'm going home. Tell Eric food is more important than waiting for him. And that if he thinks he's getting a Valentines treat he can FORGET IT!" She stood, and also left the circle, leaving Laurie all alone.
"……. Why is she living with Hyde?"
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Fez tried listening to Def Leppard, but couldn't enjoy it. It was too loud and too angry for him. He turned on the record player, and had to turn it off after a few seconds because it scared him. He sighed, and Janie walked into the apartment.
"Fez?" she asked, tossing her purse onto the couch. "Were you listening to Def Leppard?"
"Why can't you just like Led Zeppelin?" Fez demanded. "This music is loud!"
"Zepp is loud too," Janie said, sitting on the couch. "Look Fez, you don't have to like my music to get along with me… It doesn't hurt, but it's not required. Come on, Jackie and I are friends and what does she listen to? ABBA? Donnie Osmond?"
"I guess," Fez said.
"It's sweet that you're trying to get along with me though," she continued. "But I think we all know what you'd rather listen to." She walked to the music shelf, and pulled out a vinyl record, covering the title. She took off the hard rock, and put the new album on. Fez gave her a look, and she waited for the music to begin.
"There's nothing more that I'd like to do than take the floor and dance with you, keep dancin', just keep dancin'," Peaches and Herb sang, and she swung her hips and mouthed along with it. Fez smiled, and crossed his arms.
"Jackie must have left that here," he said.
"Sure she did," Janie said, walking towards him, a spring in her step. "Come on, roomie. Let's dance." They danced together, smiling and laughing. At least if he wasn't able to adapt, she was willing to.
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Hyde had a bad day at work, and wasn't in the mood to be toyed with when he got back to the apartment. He opened the door, and was met with ABBA playing in the living room. Jackie was filling out her application at the kitchen table, drinking a glass of orange juice.
"You and ABBA!" Hyde snarled, storming to the record player and yanking the needle off the record.
"Hey!" she snapped, standing up. "You'll scratch it!"
"Like I care if I scratch it!" he exclaimed. "It's not worth anything anyway!"
"ABBA is great, I'll have you know," Jackie said, hand on hip. "What do you have against ABBA?"
"Besides the fact they're no talent bobble heads?" Hyde asked.
"You're such a jerk!"
"I've been nothing but cordial to you ever since we moved in together!" he stated. "You're the one who's been acting like a psychotic bitch for the past month!"
"Steven, you should NOT push me tonight," she said, going back to her college application. "It's been a really REALLY bad day for me."
"Gee, let me guess, your hair wasn't absolutely perfect," Hyde said.
"Among other things, like it's Valentines Day and I'm perfectly alone!" Jackie snarled.
"Whose fault is that?" Hyde asked. "You're the one who dumped Fez at New Years! You didn't have to be alone tonight, you chose to be alone!"
"I wasn't in love with Fez, why should I have strung him along?"
"Because that's what you do best!" Hyde said, laughing a little. She put her hands on her hips. "You love to string men along, you probably consider it a sport!"
"I never, EVER strung you along, Steven," she said. "If I recall correctly, you're the one who treated me like garbage!"
"Oh, here we go again, pulling out the 'you cheated on me' card and the 'you married a stripper' card," he said, throwing his hands in the air. "You know, I did that because you ran off to Chicago and left me here because I wouldn't conform to your demands!"
"My demands?" she asked. "You make it sound like I was asking you to kill someone for me! I just wanted to hear from your lips that you could see a future with me! So of course when you said you couldn't I went to a place where there was one! And I think that I get to use the 'you married a stripper' card a few more times, okay? YOU CHOSE A STRIPPER OVER ME!"
"You certainly seemed to get over that, you moved on to Fez like a Black Widow spider!" Hyde yelled. "You got over it REALLY quickly!"
"Because I HAD to!" she exclaimed, tears starting to stream down her face. "I had to move on because if I stayed stuck and had to watch you, the LOVE of my LIFE, choose a stranger over me, I would have died. I would have fallen apart and I almost did, Steven! Do you even know how I was during that time? I was MISERABLE!" She put her hands to her forehead, letting out all her frustrations and anger and despair. Hyde could only listen.
"I moved on because I had to feel loved!" she stated. "I've never felt as loved as I did when I was with you, you made me feel so special. Michael, my parents, no one made me feel so wonderful! So when the person who made me feel like an actual princess threw me away, I had to move on. I just wanted to feel loved again!"
"Jackie," he said, scared by her emotion, but she held up her hands.
"Seeing you with her killed me," she said. "I had to shut you out, I had to move on, and I moved on to Fez but that didn't get me what I wanted. And when I found out that you had been trying to help him get me in bed, it just made me feel so… so cheap! Like I was something to be conquered, like a country or an object! Like I meant nothing to you! I thought that of everyone in my life, you would NEVER do that to me! But then, I never thought you would be callous enough to flaunt your fake wife in front of me, but there ya go."
"Jackie, stop," he said.
"You broke me, Steven, but I have rebuilt myself and I am just trying to stay together!" she exclaimed. "I wish that I could turn back everything and never have watched The Price is Right with you that day, because then I wouldn't have lost the most important thing in my life, and I wouldn't have had to piece myself back together by myself! So yes, Steven. I moved on because you gave me NO CHOICE." With that, she turned and ran into her room, slamming the door and locking it. He stood in the living room, and then kicked over the coffee table.
There was a knocking on the door. Hyde composed himself, and opened it. Joe was there.
"Is there a problem in here?" he asked, sort of looking towards the bedroom where Jackie's wails were coming from. Hyde shrugged.
"Some bastard did a real number on her," Hyde said, simply. Joe nodded, and shrugged back.
"Well, just keep it down, okay?" he asked. Hyde nodded, and Joe shook his head.
"Poor kid," he said. "On Valentines Day too." With that, he walked down the hall, and Hyde closed the door. He walked into the kitchen, and looked at the application on the table. He studied it numbly, and then retreated to his room as well.
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Eric was closing up Grooves when Donna knocked on the door. He smiled, and opened the door for her.
"Hey, Donna, what are you doing here?" he asked.
"You jerk, you took a night shift on Valentines Day?" she asked.
"Oh crap, that's today?" he asked. "Oh man, I'm sorry, Donna." She shrugged, and closed the door behind her.
"I figured that's what happened," she said, and removed her winter coat, revealing her old school uniform. "So I brought the celebration here."
"Oh my GOD I should forget our anniversary next," Eric said, and she pulled him down on the couch.
FADE OUT
A/N: I suggest listening to 'Cryin'' if you have not already. It fits the relationship Jackie and Hyde have in this point in time. And the music video is hilariously bizarre.