Chapter Sixteen

"That was good Rachel," said Mr Schue. "But you were supposed to sing about your own childhood, not someone else's,"
"Why on earth would I do that," I said. "That song is about my childhood,"
"In what way was your childhood bad," sneered Kurt. "You had everything on a silver platter,"
"Who told you that," I said.
"Well it's the way you act," said Quinn. "Like you're better than all of us,"
"Exactly Quinn I act," I said. "I've been hurt very badly over the years by people from all ages, only three people have stuck by me, acting like that is the only way I can protect myself from getting hurt, I'd hoped that once you saw me with my real friends you'd see the real me,"

"I've been through so many things in my life, that's why I'm such a perfectionist when it comes to music and performing, because I want to be something special," I said.
"You already have that," said Dylan. "You'll always be special to us," I smiled, I loved them so much.
"I know," I said. "And you guys will always be special to me,"
"God we're such a sappy bunch," said Jack.
"Shut up Jack," Dylan, Cam and I said.
"Seriously though, she only becomes demanding psycho diva because she wants all of you to be the best that you are, she's not really like that," said Dylan.
"Yeah," said Jack. "She swears like a sailor, drinks like a fish,"
"I don't drink that much," I protested, "I've been drunk much less than you guys, and I only swear when I walk into things,"
"Which is all the time," said Jack.
"Fuck you Jack," I told him.
"Ew," said Jack. "That's gross," all three of them grimaced, "You're our little sis,"
"Yeah and you guys are my big brothers," I said.

"You just wanted to show off your famous friends," said Sunshine bringing us back to reality. "Is that why you never took me to your house, because I wasn't rich enough to be friends with them,"
"I didn't live with them at that time," I said.
"But you said you were taking me to your house," she said. "You took me to a crack house,"
"If she said she was taking you to her house then that means that her house was a crack house," said Brittany. I smiled a small sad smile, that Brittany had been the one to finally figure it out.
"You're very bright Brittany," I said. "You are correct,"
"You expect us to believe you lived in a crack house," said Mr Schue.
"You don't have to believe me, but yes I grew up with two men who cared more about their next fix than me," I said. "They had parties where there would be people taking all kinds of things, I had clean up the next day, how I never got sick is beyond me,"

"I'm not asking you to feel sorry for me, I'm just trying to tell you that I deserve respect too, as does Noah," I said sadly. "But I've said my piece, Noah we still have to hear you,"
"I thought I was the teacher here," said Mr Schue. "And it's time to go,"
"I want to hear Puck," said Brittany.
"Yeah me too," said Artie. "I can't remember the last time I heard him sing,"
"Sweet Caroline, sophomore year," said Jack.
"How the hell do you guys know that," said Quinn's nasally voice.
"How the hell does grease think you're the best singer," said Cam, there were a few oohs. "And Rach was obsessed with it, she wouldn't stop playing it for weeks," I blushed.
"I think it's cute," said Brittany. I looked at Noah and he had a big smile on his face.
"You liked me even then," he said.
"I did, it just took me a long time to admit it," I said.

"Anyway," said Mr Schue, "Puck are you going to perform cuz I want to get home,"
"Okay," said Puck. "I doubt it'll top Rach's song, but I've picked up on how to write songs from hanging with my new friends, and well I wrote a song about something from my childhood, because like Rach, my childhood wasn't really a childhood," I gave him an encouraging smile, I had a feeling I knew what this song would be about, Noah sat on a stool and strummed chords on his guitar;

Hey dad
I'm writing to you
Not to tell you
That I still hate you
Just to ask you
How you feel
And how we fell apart
How this fell apart

Are you happy out there in this great wide world?
Do you think about your sons?
Do you miss your little girl?
When you lay your head down
How do you sleep at night?
Do you even wonder if we're all right?
Well we're all right
We're all right

[Chorus:]
It's been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?
You broke my mother's heart, you broke your children for life
It's not ok, but we're all right
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
But those are just a long lost memory of mine
I spent so many years learning how to survive
Now I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive

The days I spent so
Cold, so hungry
Were full of hate
I was so angry
The scars run deep inside this tattooed body
There's things I'll take
To my grave
But I'm okay
I'm okay

[Chorus:]
It's been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?
You broke my mother's heart
You broke your children for life
It's not ok, but were all right
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
But those are just a long lost memory of mine
Now I'm writing just to let you know that I'm still alive
Yeah I'm still alive

And Sometimes
I forgive
Yeah and this time
I'll admit
That I miss you, said I miss you

[Chorus:]
It's been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren't you there all the nights that we cried?
You broke my mother's heart
You broke your children for life
It's not ok, but we're all right
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
But those are just a long lost memory of mine
Now I'm writing just to let you know that I'm still alive..

And sometimes
I forgive
And this time
I'll admit
That I miss you, I miss you
Hey dad...

Everyone was sat in stunned silence, and then Noah jumped up kicked the stool across the stage threw his guitar into the audience who had to duck to avoid getting hit, and then he ran. "Wow," I said.
"I know," said Dylan. "That was incredible,"
"I'm going to go and find him," I said.
"Rachel don't," said Finn. "He's dangerous right now,"
"Finn Hudson you lost the right to protect me when you played me," I said. "And Noah will not hurt me, he needs someone to be there for him,"
"I'll meet you three at home," I said.
"Bring him to ours later, we want to talk to him," said Dylan. "See you later Rach," he hugged me tightly as did Jack and Cam. I said a quick goodbye to everyone and then left to find Noah.