If You Only Knew Chapter 10: The Fight, a twilight fanfic

IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE

EVERY SUSPICIOUS POINT I drop in the story will be cleared up in later chapters!

(They are there for a reason, to keep you guys hanging on a cliffy lol. Mwahaha..I'm mean!)

So don't worry about it!

I know you guys want to know details about stuff happening in the story, and I will try my best to explain everything,

but feel free to still pop your questions in the wonderful reviews you leave.

I might miss out one or two from time to time. :P

.: disclaimer :. i don't own any of the twilight characters

EPOV

Time stood still.

I could have pulled back and prevented the kiss from happening, but I just couldn't help it. When our lips met, I felt electricity jolt through me, and a passion in my heart ignited. Her lips were soft and welcoming. I knew we were poised at a line we hadn't crossed before, and we might even be putting our friendship at risk.

However, at the moment, those were the least of my worries, because she was totally kissing me back.

Our kiss ended as quickly as our kiss started, because Bella suddenly pulled back. I was still a bit light-headed from the kiss, but I still managed to look into Bella's eyes. What I saw wasn't the dreamy look I wanted, instead, I saw something click in Bella's eyes, like she just realized something.

I moved my head so Ryan wasn't blocking my view. I knew what Bella just realized in an instant. A person with light brown hair had her back to us. She was playing with some little kids in a sandbox to our right. She looked strangely familiar…

"I don't think that's Angela, Ryan." She said softly to Ryan while shaking her head to me slightly as if she was clearing up my doubts too.

Just as I heard Ryan whisper "Oh," the brown-haired girl turned her head around to scoop a bucket of sand for a girl dressed in jeans. Fortunately, she wasn't Angela.

But before I could let out the breath I had been holding since I saw the brown-haired girl, I heard a familiar voice ring out in front of us, "Hey Ryan!"

Oh, I'm sure I know that voice. I thought wryly. I turned my head toward the voice.

Standing in front of us were Alice and Jasper.

"Oh hi Edward." She smiled slyly, "What were you guys doing behind Ryan's back?"

"Nothing." I lied.

She looked disappointed. "So you guys aren't together? I thought you guys might be—"

I cut Alice off midsentence, "No, we aren't together." I did not want to hear the 'K' word coming out of Alice's mouth, because there was no way I could explain myself if my face were to become as red as a tomato.

There was a bit of awkward silence. And I could see that Alice still wasn't willing to give up. Whether she actually caught us kissing or not she wasn't willing to tell us. "I just thought that with your faces so close…." She trailed off.

"Bella had something in her eyes and I was trying to get it out for her." I blurted out.

Alice stared at me for a moment before looking closely at Bella, "Oh, that would explain why your eyes are kind of teary. Are you alright Bella?" As Alice pulled Bella a few steps away to ask how her eyes were feeling, Bella took Ryan with her, leaving my arms empty. That mean Bella! Now I have nothing to shield my face from or busy my hands with!

Jasper looked at me kindly. "Sorry about Alice. She's just so insistent that you find a girl for yourself. And she says her six sense tells her that your dream girl is Bella. She might seem kind of pushy right now, but you know how she gets." He chuckled.

"Yeah I know." I forced out a smile. I know Alice wanted me to get together with Bella. Don't let her get away. She makes you happy. Alice's words kept going around in my head ever since she whispered them in my ear yesterday night outside the hotel.

"So what are you guys doing here?" I asked.

"I got a call from school this morning, apparently, I got invited to some universities to give lectures next week. We're leaving for Chicago tomorrow. But we'll be back a few weeks later for Emmett's grand opening." Jasper grinned.

"He's opening another fitness center? In Seattle? He's got his chain of fitness centers popping up all over America!" I exclaimed.

Jasper laughed. "According to him, business is booming. He figured he should start tackling the west side of the US since he focused more on the east these years. You guys are invited too, you know."

"He just wants to see the 'famous' Bella for himself." I added. I met Emmett only a few times during my time in Chicago. Jasper and Emmett go way back though. Laughter from Alice and Bella reminded me they were only a few steps away from us. I commented to my college friend, "I thought they just saw each other less than 24 hours ago."

"I know. But Alice wanted to see Bella again before we left. We were heading your way, we actually don't know where your house is, but we were going to call you guys once we were in the neighborhood. Alice saw this beautiful park and wanted to come for a walk, hoping she could get some inspiration for her new line of clothes maybe. And Alice spotted you guys under the tree here, and well yeah, you know the rest." Bella and Alice came over, stilling talking, after Jasper finished his sentence.

"I was just telling Bella that I'd be coming back to check up on some of my stores sometime before Emmett's opening day, and we should totally meet up." Alice said excitedly.

"Call anytime since I have a babysitter on call 24/7." Bella laughed.

"Why did I ever agree to this?" I groaned. The three of them laughed.

"Are you guys in a hurry? Why don't we all go back to my place?" Bella offered as she put Ryan back in the stroller.

"Sure, we've got time. Jazz can catch an airplane himself if I can't make it."

"That's awfully thoughtful of you, Ali." Jasper teased.

"I know." Alice squealed while Jasper started tickling her.

"Let's go before the sun sets, you two lovebirds." I called out. We all walked to our cars respectively, Bella and I to her car, Jasper and Alice to their rental car.

"See any fancy car behind us yet?" I asked Bella while we were waiting in the car for Jasper and Alice. We told them to look for a silver Toyota parked on the sidewalk; but I now realized that it would have been easier if it was us going in search of their car.

"Hmm…there's a bright yellow car coming our way. Could it be them?" Bella wondered.

"Definitely. Alice always likes the bright colors. Roll down your window and wave to them so they know it's us." We motioned for them to follow us, and arrived back at Bella's place. We had a quick dinner, and played with Ryan a bit after that. I could see Bella starting to warm up to Alice, and I was grateful for that.

They had to leave early since they had a morning flight tomorrow, so the three of us went to see them off. "I'll see you soon. Call me when you get in." Bella said to Alice as the two of them hugged.

"Of course." Alice promised.

"See you guys in a few weeks." I nodded to Jasper.

Jasper nodded back, "Sure."

After we closed the door behind us, we went to put Ryan to bed. It was then did it start to feel awkward between us. We started cleaning up things with silently; neither of us wanting to be the first person to talk about the kiss. I know the night would only get more awkward if I stayed, so I made up an excuse needing to be home early today.

"I'll see you tomorrow then." I said to Bella once we finished cleaning the last dish.

"Yeah." Bella answered while she wiped her hands on a dry cloth quickly.

"No, it's alright. You don't have to see me off. You still have stuff from the stroller to clean out." I said, though I knew it was a lame excuse.

"Ok then." Bella and I stared at each other, neither of us knowing what to say. I glanced around the room, and took a look at Bella one last time before turning away.

"Edward…" Bella said in a strained voice.

I whipped my head around, "Yeah?"

She opened and closed her mouth twice before words came out, "Just….drive safely."

I nodded, determined not to let my disappointment show, "I will. Goodnight, Bella." And I walked out the door and into the night.

xXx

The next few weeks went by in a blur. The hospital had been buzzing with activity, and none of us had time to rest during our shifts. I was thankful for that in a way, because it would give me an excuse for not always being by Bella's side all the time.

Yes, we were still on talking terms, but we only talked when the situation calls for it. Bella spent more time with Jessica these days, and I wondered if it had something to do with our conversation during the day at the park. Which meant I was left with….Newton. Not the first companion I would've chosen, but he'll do for now. I did send him a warning saying that if he gushed about the "stuff" that happened between him and Jessica ever again, I would broadcast it to the world. Seriously, one can only take a certain amount of information at a time!

I still went over to Bella's place after work, and it was usually Ryan who helped us start up a conversation between us. Weird, but true. We would either talk about Ryan, or talk to Ryan. Sometimes, we would even only meet when I was heading out the door for my home, and she would be coming through the door for the first time that day. She claims she had some "medical teaching" things to sort out. I only know she was appointed to teaching some non-medical stuff to some medical students for 11 months in University of Colorado last year. Since she graduated with flying colors in the University of Colorado, our school wanted her to be a model for their students. She wasn't exactly "teaching" anything, she was just "showing" the students that each of them could be unique in certain fields, and just being their friend. She juggled time between the university, and in the University of Colorado Hospital as well. Bella told me that those eleven months there were tiring, but she she would never change it for the world. And since she spent time at the hospital too, she wasn't missing anything.

Because she was still in contact with the school, sometimes she had to take care of events happening there. And these "stuff", she said herself, was why she was constantly staying late at the hospital these weeks.

But I could tell she was hiding from me. And something has already changed between us.

When we meet in the hallways of the hospital, she would either scurry away embarrassedly or hide behind one of our colleagues. I hardly see her these days and it's making me go crazy! I mean, she's just a friend, and we've gone for a long period of time without seeing each other before. Why is it that I feel this way?

And there was this one time when we were all working at our meeting place. All of us were at our usual seats, meaning she was to my right. I reached out for a file on my right, just as Bella was reaching for the same file as well. When our arms touched, I swore I felt something fiery tingle my skin. I shrunk my hand back instantly, seeing Bella do the same as well. I murmured a quiet sorry under my breath, and pushed the file to her. When I thought it felt safe to look up, I glanced at Bella quickly. To my disappointment, her hair was acting like drapes between us. That was probably the only time I hated her long hair. I couldn't even see her behind her long brown hair less run my hands through it!

I had no one to talk to about this. Besides, I believe the reason I'm going crazy is because of talking to Newton all the time. Yeah, that must be it. Bella's been my friend for such a long time, and it only must be me imagining things.

And now I'm lying on the sofa at Bella's place, waiting for Ryan to wake up from his nap on a Saturday afternoon. It had taken a long time to get Ryan to sleep these days. I think he knows something's strange between his 'Mama' and 'Dada'. That kid can be so smart sometimes! If I put him to bed at night, which doesn't often happen, he'd be wondering where 'Mama' is, and I'd have to repeat the same thing over and over again, "She's still at work, honey." So these weeks Ryan's either being restless, or having a fit over nothing.

And so why was I at Bella's apartment again? Ah, yes, Bella called me this morning saying she was having lunch with Jessica and asked if I would look after Ryan. I agreed and drove over ten minutes later to a crying Ryan and a flustered Bella.

"I'm so sorry honey, but I have to meet Jessica." Bella said to Ryan as she kissed his forehead. "Bye, Ryan."

"Go on or you'll be late." I reminded her.

She managed a small smile at me, "Thanks." We stared at each other for a while unconsciously before she blinked and realized what we were just doing. Bella grabbed her keys from the counter and brushed past me before I got to say anything else.

Lunch was filled with Ryan throwing tantrums and refusing to eat anything I offered. Finally, I let him pick what he wanted to eat himself, which ended up to be milk and baby crackers. I had no choice but to let him have that as his lunch since he had to at least swallow something. It took me half an hour to get him to sleep. I sang songs, read stories, and tried everything I could think of to make him sleep, but he kept fussing and crying. Eventually, he got tired himself and fell asleep. I heaved a sigh of relief. When I stepped out of the room and wandered around the house, I dare not make any noise for fear that Ryan would wake up and I'd have to start all over again.

And that is why I am currently lying on the sofa taking a much needed rest. My body is limp, and my eyelids are drooping…

Suddenly, the front door banged open. The sounds of keys clanging against the marble counter and the door slamming shut followed. What in the world was going on? I stepped into the kitchen.

"Would you please be quiet? Ryan just fell asleep." I asked groggily.

"Oh so now you are going to complain, too?" Bella rose her voice. The tone of her voice woke me up instantly.

"Am not. What is wrong with you?" I shot back.

"I hate my life! First it's you, then it's Jess. Aarghh!" Bella started pacing back and forth in the kitchen.

I decided to leave the problem concerning "me" for later, and ask about Jessica first. "So that's what your lunch with Jessica was about?" I said as calm as I could.

Bella started pulling her hair in frustration. "Not just today, EVERY SINGLE DAY! It's always been Mike's parents did this, Mike's parents did that. I know her situation is pretty bad as it is, but that does not give her the right to dump EVERY SINGLE COMPLAINT on me!"

I could hear Ryan crying in the background now. Oh boy, I'll just have to handle him later. He's probably the easiest problem to solve at the moment.

"Now see what you did! Your son, yes, YOUR son cried himself to sleep today, and now you wake him up again! Great! Just great! Why don't you go try getting him to sleep?" I challenged.

"Don't you DARE use that against me. You said you were going to take care of him like your own." She hissed.

I decided to change the topic. "And what is your problem with me? The one you mentioned earlier?" I was getting angrier by the moment.

"You were all different after that….that kiss." She said at last.

"It was an accident." I spat.

She stared at me coldly. "Of course. An accident. Should've thought of that earlier. And I suppose all this," She emphasized by waving her arms around her, "is a mistake, too. Glad we have that cleared up." She moved in the direction of her car keys again. Ryan's cries were getting louder.

"Bella—" I started.

"Don't you start." She silenced me with the words, her eyes piercing through mine. With that, she snatched her car keys swiftly and stomped out the door, slamming the door again in the process.

I stared blankly at the door for three seconds before coming to my senses that Ryan's cries were getting louder. I ran back to the bedroom and held him in my arms. I couldn't bring myself to sing songs or read stories again because I didn't feel like talking. Instead, I rocked him back and forth while walking around the room. Gradually, Ryan's cries dissolved into hiccups, and his teary eyes were looking back at me.

"I don't know what happened either, honey." I think that was more of an answer to my thoughts than for Ryan's ears. I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn't know Ryan fell asleep until I felt my arms getting sore. I had been at this for over thirty minutes already.

After putting Ryan back in the crib, I walked back to the kitchen table alone. I pulled out a chair and sat down with my face buried in my hands. What have I done? We've never ever had such a huge fight before. I have absolutely no idea what to do.

Now that I was cooled down after walking in circles in the bedroom for half an hour, I realized I made a huge mistake when the word 'accident' slipped out of my mouth. I was in such a fury that I couldn't think straight, and that really triggered the bomb. I ran the conversation through my head again, forgetting some parts already, and shuddered at my choice of words throughout our fight. It was then did I remember Bella mentioning "Mike's parents". What do they have to do with Jess and Mike's relationship?

I stared into space for God knows how long, my head spinning with responses I could have gave to prevent the conversation from going bad to worse. I sighed, it was no use now, and I could only hope Bella comes home soon.

I thought it was time to go wake Ryan up so he doesn't have a hard time falling asleep at night because of a long nap. When I stepped into the room, I accidentally stepped on a squeaky mouse toy and woke Ryan up. He only cried a little since, thankfully, he was in a good mood after he slept longer than his usual nap time. We played with his toys in the living room, and the "Ding!" and "Boing!" sounds filled the empty space. However, the apartment didn't feel as warm and lively anymore.

Because Bella still wasn't home yet.

I wanted to call her cellphone. But I wouldn't know what to say, and I was afraid she'd hang up on me anyway. So I settled with making dinner. Dinner was in a much quiet matter than the other meal today, but it still felt different without Bella at the table. I know she's a big girl and can take care of herself, but I can't help but worry about her.

After dinner, Ryan and I played blocks together. He's starting to know that blocks aren't for banging but for stacking, and I am grateful for that. According to Ryan, we built everything his vocabulary covered, which of course includes me. We would build something, and he would name it. And I ended up to be a finished creation with no legs, a small head, and a fat body. Why is it that Ryan always thinks I'm fat?

Then he started getting bored with the blocks, so I took him to take a bath, with Ryan having a great time splashing water and bubbles all over my shirt. I changed him into pajamas and brushed his teeth for him with water. We picked a bedtime story together, and I read until he fell asleep. After giving him a kiss on the forehead, I closed the door, leaving only a small crack so I can hear Ryan if he wakes up.

This was probably the most peaceful evening I've had in weeks since it would usually be me and Bella "switching shifts" during Ryan's bedtime. Bella better be home soon or I wouldn't be able to leave. I watched TV to kill time, and I settled with a movie I thought would be good.

However, I paid more attention to my watch than the television in front of me. When the credits started rolling, it was almost ten o'clock. She was never home this late before ever since Ryan came into our lives. I checked my cellphone to see if she had called, but all I saw was my wallpaper staring back at me. As I began to look through my contacts for Angela's or Ben's number, my phone vibrated. One text message. I opened the message eagerly, hoping it would be from the girl I was worried about.

After reading the text, I paled. My body went rigid, and the phone slipped out of my clutches.

The text was from Bella alright.

Uh-oh...what was in that text?

Will Edward and Bella ever be more than friends with each other?

Til next chapter! :D

A/N:

I was so happy when some of you guessed who "la" is!("la" is Angela! For those of you who still don't quite get why, I suggest you read Chapter 8 again! :D) However, I loved it when all of you got creative and came up with great guesses!(I was tempted to change the plot and use one of your randoms guesses lol)

So...this chapter actually tells you A LOT of what/who is going to appear in later chapters~

Pay attention to stuff that happens throughout the story! You might just find the answer to a few of your suspicions somewhere in the chapters!

Again, PLZ LEAVE A REVIEW!

Thank you, and I'll see you guys next week!

born2bmyself 2010.07.16

pssst...if you're still reading this, all i can say is that you definitely wouldn't want to miss the next chapter! And no, I am not giving anything else away!