Disclaimer: I don't own anything from 70S SHOW nor Aerosmith songs.

Episode 9.7: Rag Doll

Jackie primped her hair before going to work, and left her bedroom into the main room. She grabbed her shoes, and her jacket, and was about to leave, when she felt like she should check on Hyde. He was usually up and ready to go by this time. She knocked, opened the bedroom door, and saw that he was fully under the covers.

"Steven, it's eight thirty," she said. "Aren't you opening today?"

"… I feel like crap," he said, removing the covers from his head. She sighed, and walked through his messy room to his side. She put a hand to his forehead.

"Good GOD, Steven, you feel like a boiler," she said, and he moved her hand from his forehead.

"No, your hand is clammy and freezing like…. Dammit, I can't even think of a good burn," he said, leaning back down.

"You're sick! You poor thing!" Jackie exclaimed, full pity mode engaged.

"I'm not sick, I can't trust Eric and Leo to run the store themselves," Hyde said. "Eric's bad at math and Leo's just… Leo." He tried to stand, but felt dizzy enough to fall back under the covers. She crossed her arms.

"There is no WAY you are going to work today," she said. "In fact, I'm staying home to and taking care of you."

"So are we officially good again then if you're taking work off to act like Florence Nightingale?" he asked.

"We're getting there. That and I need an excuse to not go into work," she said simply. "Now get back under those covers!" He nodded, and she tucked him in tightly.

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Donna was at the station, on commercial break from her shift, when Janie knocked on the window. Donna motioned for her to come in.

"Hey Janie, how's it going?" Donna asked.

"Could be worse," Janie said. "I was wondering if you wanted to hang out tonight?"

"Yeah? That could be fun," Donna said. "What did you have in mind?"

"Going to a construction site and getting boards," Janie said.

"… Huh?"

"I told Fez that I'd get us a new shelf, and I realized that my assets are lacking at the moment. SO I was wondering if you wanted to go over to where they're building that new strip mall tonight under the cloak of darkness and steal some boards."

"Oh," Donna said. "Well, I guess I don't technically have anything else to do, since Eric is working the night shift tonight. Sure. I'll participate in the delinquency."

"Great," Janie said. "Wow. I've never been in a radio booth before. What's it like being Hot Donna?"

"It's wearing thin, my friend," Donna said. "Oh crap! The commercial's about to end and I don't have anything cued!" Janie grabbed the first tape she could find, and tossed it to Donna.

"Alright, back for more music hits," Donna said, throwing the tape in the player. "Up next we have… a song we all know and love to get the day rolling. This is Hot Donna, keep listening."

The song 'Feelings' by Morris Albert began playing. Donna made a face, and then looked at Janie. Janie shrugged, sheepishly.

"I thought I'd grabbed T-Rex," she said, contritely. Donna sighed, and cued up a new song to counter the sappiness she had bestowed upon Point Place.

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Leo answered the phone in Grooves.

"Grooves Music, open nine to ten pm," he said.

"Leo, it's Hyde."

"Hey man, where are you?" Leo asked.

"I'm sick," Hyde said. "I'm sure you can manage the first shift of the day, can't you man? All by yourself?"

"Sure, Hyde," Leo said. "I'll handle it fine, I promise."

"Okay. I'm holding you to that," Hyde said. "If I get in tomorrow and half our merchandise is gone with no money explaining it, I'm going to hold you accountable. Got it?"

"Calm down, Hyde man," Leo said. "I'll take care of it."

"Okay. See you tomorrow."

"Feel better."

"Thanks. Bye." Leo hung up, and walked to the couch.

"Alright, no boss man to keep me down," he said, and fell asleep.

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Jackie brought in some chicken soup for Hyde, and set it on his nightstand. He sat up slowly, and looked at the soup.

"I hate chicken noodle."

"You're welcome," she said. "Just eat it, it'll help you."

"Why are you doing this?" he asked.

"I told you, I didn't want to go to work."

"But you could easily be dancing around the apartment listening to KC and the Sunshine Band," Hyde said. "And instead you made me soup."

"… Okay, look, we've both been real pains to each other since we moved in, and I blew up at you like that on Valentines, and then you actually made an effort to make things right again. Friends wise," she amended, trying not to go where she didn't think she wanted to go. "So the least I can do is make you soup…. And take your temperature and bring you orange juice and keep your blankets over you."

"Well that's nice of you," he said.

"How's the store doing?" she asked. "Has Leo burned it down yet?"

"He said he's holding it down but I don't believe him," Hyde said. "I'll rest easier once it becomes three and Erik clocks in." Jackie nodded, and smiled at him.

"Do you need more tissues?" she asked.

"…. Yeah."

"I'll get you some."

"……. Thanks."

"Whatever." She left his room, and he chuckled little.

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Fez was washing a girls hair when Janie walked into the salon.

"I have shelving lined up," she said.

"Oh yeah?" he asked. "What kind of shelving?"

"Cheap shelving. Donna is going with me to get it tonight," she said. "You want we should set it up too?"

"Oh, that doesn't matter," he said.

"We can," Janie said. "Just… pick up some cinder blocks on the way home tonight, would ya?"

"…. Whaaat?"

"Because they are part of the shelving," she said. "So can you do that for me?"

"Ugh, fine."

"And, and, if we set them up will you moved the books and stuff onto them?"

"Yes yes yes," Fez said.

"AND, and, do you think maybe you could buy some paint so we could paint them?" Janie asked.

"What kind of shelves are these?"

"The best shelves in the whole wide world!" she said, hitting his shoulder. This made him jerk the head of his client.

"Hey!" she exclaimed.

"Oh, sorry," Janie said, touching her shoulder. "Thanks, Fez. You won't regret any of this….. Make sure the paint is dark blue." She rushed out of the salon, and the client sat up, hair sopping wet.

"Who's that, your girlfriend?" she asked.

"Oh, if only," Fez said.

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Eric walked into work, and saw Leo on the couch, sleeping. He looked at the customers, and they looked irritated.

"He's been sleeping all morning," one girl said. Eric sighed, and nudged Leo. Leo opened one eye.

"Where's Hyde?" Eric said.

"Am I off?" Leo asked.

"Where's Hyde?"

"Hyde called in sick," Leo said. "He won't be in today." Eric smiled.

"Oh REALLY?" he asked. "Yeah Leo. You're off." Leo sat up, yawned, and stretched.

"Nothing like going home after a long day at work," Leo said. Eric nodded, and get behind the counter. He began doing transactions with the customers, and while he did so he called Fez's apartment.

"Fez, it's Eric," he said to the answering machine. "Come over to Grooves once you're off work. Old man Hyde is sick!"

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Jackie sat at the end of Hyde's bed and waited for the thermometer to register his temperature.

"You don't have to baby me," he said.

"Keep your mouth closed, you'll throw off the reading," she said. "And yes I do. It's my natural instinct to take care of people when they're sick or in pain or whatever."

"That's a new development," he said.

"Stop talking!" she said. "Jeeze, you're impatient." He sighed, and crossed his arms.

"So do you want me to check in on Eric to see if he's running the store okay?" she asked.

"You keep asking me questions and I'm not supposed to talk."

"That was a yes no question, you could nod!" she stated, swatting his shoulder. He shrugged, and laughed a little bit.

"You are really impossible," she said, and looked at the thermometer. "You're still at 100. There's no way you're getting out of bed yet."

"Fine," he said. "I don't care if you go and check on Eric. I am thinking about hiring someone new, though."

"You're gonna fire Eric?" she asked.

"No, I'm not gonna do that," he said. "You always assume the worst. I just mean I should hire someone else. Eric and Leo aren't enough to work the store."

"Maybe you could get Janie to work for you," she said. "She can't make a living doing tattoos."

"I'm going to post a sign," he said. She nodded, and pat the bed. "So… What are you going to do this afternoon?"

"You mean what are WE going to do," she said.

"Great."

"Don't act so disgusted," she said. "I'm going to go get you some more soup, then we're going to play Scrabble or Monopoly or Clue. Depending on my mood after I get your soup. But I think it's going to be a Clue mood."

"Board games?" he asked. "You can't be serious."

"I am and we're gonna play," she said. "And I'm not going to let you win just because you're sick with Typhoid or whatever." She stood, and pranced out of the room.

"I don't have Typhoid!" he exclaimed.

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Donna and Janie looked at the construction site while sitting in Donna's car.

"So I think their dump off pile is over there," Janie said. "I figure if they're just throwing it away it's not REALLY stealing."

"Yes, that MUST be it," Donna said. "So what exactly is the plan?"

"We wait for the cloak of darkness," Janie said.

"How Shakespearean."

"And then we climb the fence and grab three boards," she said. "I went to Fez's work and asked him if he'd pick up cinder blocks for us."

"Subtle."

"Not really," Janie said.

"So… How is living with him going?" Donna asked.

"Fine," Janie said. "I always get the sneaking suspicion that he is trying to watch me shower, but for some reason I don't mind."

"No one does," Donna said. "He's quite fond of you."

"That's good," Janie said, pulling out the binoculars and looking through them. "I feel very Alfred Hitchcock right now."

"Were you mad that he didn't tell you about his marriage to Laurie?" Donna asked.

"I was surprised and I didn't really wanna talk to him that night, but we've worked it all out," Janie said.

"… You have a thing for Fez," Donna said.

"Ha," Janie said.

"Or not."

"Oh, I don't know," Janie said. "He's nice and he's cute and he's considerate, but… I like the badasses."

"And Fez is not that," Donna said.

"No way," Janie said. "A few weeks ago he thought someone was trying to get into our apartment, and he hid under the covers while I investigated."

"Oh my God. What was it?"

"It was clanging pipes!" Janie exclaimed, and Donna laughed. "No. I'm not into him that way."

"That's too bad," Donna said.

"Yeah…" Janie said, trailing off. "Holy crap, look at that guy!"

"What, what's going on?" Donna asked, looking through one of the lenses. "Oh my God, is he eating a sandwich out of the garbage?"

"Don't knock it til you try it," Janie said, and Donna gave her a shocked look. "Hypothetically! It was a joke!"

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Fez ran into Grooves, and smiled at Eric.

"Do you know what a music store needs?" he asked.

"What does a music store need?" Eric asked back.

"Music BLASTING!" Fez said, and threw on a tape. 'Poison' by Alice Cooper began playing.

"YEAH BABY!" Eric exclaimed, and they danced around the store.

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"I win again!" Jackie squealed, showing Hyde the solution cards. "See? Mrs. Peacock isn't as innocent as you said."

"You cheated," Hyde said, coughing.

"Mrs. Peacock is a slut."

"Wow, such anger towards a game piece."

"Miss Scarlett is the best."

"She's the slut."

"She's PRETTY," Jackie said, pointing at the box.

"She's sleeping with all the guys in the game."

"She is not!"

"I believe it was Miss Scarlet in the Conservatory with the riding crop."

"Ew! Steven, please!" she exclaimed, putting the board game back in the box.

"This is the most we've said to each other in a long time," he said. She shrugged, and wouldn't look at him.

"Yes, well, it's been a weird year, hasn't it?" she said. "A lot has changed."

"Yeah, it has," he said. "So… How has your year been?" She laughed a little, and ran a hand through her hair.

"Honestly, I feel like the writers of my life have been out to get me," she said, quietly. "Things just haven't been turning out the way I've wanted them to."

"… That's too bad," he said.

"What about you?"

"…….No complaints," he said. They stopped talking, and he wondered if she could tell he wasn't being fully honest. "What time is it?" She turned and looked at the clock.

"Almost six," she said.

"We've been playing Clue that long?" he asked.

"I guess so," she said. "I'm going to go to the store and get you more juice. Anything else you want me to do?"

"Maybe one thing," he said, smiling.

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Fez and Eric were in Grooves, dancing around and listening to 'Freebird'. They were air guitaring along with the face melting guitar solo.

"This is INSANE!" Eric exclaimed. They would only stop to ring up a customer, but the insanity tended to turn the customers away. They hadn't had one in almost an hour. "You know, I kind of hope Hyde has some kind of infection just so we can do this more!"

"I love to dance!" Fez exclaimed. "I wish I had done more of it in the past!"

"You should dance more, man!" Eric exclaimed. "I wish Donna was here, but she totally wouldn't approve!"

"Neither would Janie!" Fez said. "She has a strict work ethic! Even when she's sick she goes into work and gives people tattoos!"

"She sounds like such a cool girl, you need to rope her in, man!" Eric said. "She'd be an improvement over the chicks you've dated in the past."

"What about Jackie?" Fez asked.

"You two had no chemistry, everyone knows that," Eric said. Fez stopped dancing, but then shrugged because he knew it too.

"Janie is nothing like her," Fez said. "Janie is wild, Jackie is a princess." As he said this, Jackie burst into Grooves.

"What the hell are you two doing?!" she exclaimed. They stopped dancing. "Steven told me to come in here and check on you, Eric, and I'm glad I did! You call this working? You're jumping around like a couple of hicks at a hoe-down! Where are all the customers?"

"… It's been a slow night," Eric said.

"It probably doesn't help that through a window it looks like you two are on shrooms!" Jackie exclaimed. She turned off the music, and swatted them both.

"Ow!" the said in unison.

"Now get back to work!" Jackie said. "Steven will be well tomorrow, after I'm done nursing him back to health, and he'll be back to busting your ass! Fez, don't you have other things to do?"

"Yes ma'am," Fez said.

"I won't tell Steven about this," she said. "He's sick and we don't need him worrying about you boneheads. But if this happens AGAIN-."

"It won't," Eric said. She nodded, and turned and left the store.

"Wow," Fez said.

"What the hell was THAT?" Eric asked, pointing after her. "First she's not talking to him, now she's nursing him back to health? How do I miss all the stuff?"

"I'm going to leave in case she comes back," Fez said. "She has weird powers like that. She always knows when something is up." He left the store, and Eric shook his head.

"Darth Burkhart ruins the dance party," he muttered.

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"Are you ready?" Janie asked.

"Yeah," Donna said.

"Toss me the board and I'll toss it over the fence!" Janie hissed. Donna heaved a board at her, and when she caught it she fell to the ground.

"Sorry!" Donna hissed.

"Toss was meant figuratively!" Janie hissed, annoyed.

"Well I take things literally when I'm under stress!" Donna said. "Are you sure we won't get caught?"

"Sure I'm sure," Janie said, putting the first board of the fence. "Just two more."

"Okay, fine," Donna said. She handed Janie the next board gently this time, and Janie placed it on the other side of the fence.

"One more and we're home free," Janie said.

"If Eric knew I was doing this he'd DIE," Donna said, laughing a little bit.

"So would Fez!" Janie said, and then caught herself. Too late.

"Oh WOULD he?" Donna asked. "Interesting context, don't you think?"

"Give me the last board, blondie," Janie said, and Donna laughed, handing her the last board. She tossed it over the fence, and smiled. "Done. Let's get out of here."

"Hey! You!" the angry male voice said, and Donna and Janie looked out towards the construction trailer.

"Beat it!" Janie exclaimed, and she and Donna threw themselves against the fence and climbed like crazy. They dropped to the ground, and Donna began to run off. "Wait! The boards!"

"What, are you kidding me!?" Donna asked.

"It can't be all for nothing!" Janie exclaimed. "I promised Fez a shelf!"

"You're certainly going out of your way for a guy you say you don't like," Donna said, as they lifted the boards.

"Donna, there's a time and place for everything, and now is neither the time nor place!"

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Jackie brought in one last bowl of soup to Hyde.

"Last one," she said. "How's your temperature?"

"Down," he said, taking the bowl from her. "How was the store?"

"Fine, everything was normal," Jackie said. "You know, it sucks to have to go back to work tomorrow. Today was a good one."

"Yeah, despite the fact I'm weak and feel like ass, it was a pretty good day," he said. "… Thanks for everything."

"You're welcome," she said. "You were sick. What was I supposed to do? Let you whimper like a poor little puppy?"

"It was certainly an option," he said, sipping the soup.

"Well, despite what everyone thinks about me, I'm not a horrible person," she said.

"Come on, Jackie, I know that," he said. "I'd like to think I know you better than most people."

"Yeah, probably," she said. "What on Earth are you going to do with THAT information?"

"…. Take over the world." She laughed, and shoved him a little. "Careful with the sicky." She moved up and sat next to him, and held out a spoon of her own. "Hey hey. Isn't this for me?"

"You can share with your nurse," she said.

"What if you get sick?" he asked.

"Then you can take care of me," she stated, taking a bite of soup. "It's only fair, of course."

"Yeah, sure," he said, nudging her a little. She nudged him back, and they shared a mutual smile at each other.

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The shelves were built, and Janie smiled at Fez.

"You call these shelves?" Fez asked.

"Yes, I call these great shelves!" Janie stated. "What do you call them?"

"Boards and cinder blocks."

"Not just any boards," Janie said. "Stolen boards. Stolen boards I'm going to paint electric blue! What does that make them now?"

"… Kind of sexy," Fez said, touching the wood with his palms. "They feel naughty."

"Dude, they're just boards," Janie said, and went to turn on the TV. Fez stopped touching them, and looked embarrassed at the floor.

FADE OUT