Numb.
No other word better described how Jon felt. Jon knew that the men in the Great Hall were cheering his name and the hard fought victory, but he couldn't even bring himself to fake a smile.
So there he stood. Standing vigil for his father in the castle Sept of Sunspear. They had no godswood and unlike every other scion of their line. His father had been a knight. So custom dictated that his vigil be held in the Sept. He hadn't even had enough energy to strip off his blood stained armor.
Wraith and Garymr were sitting at the foot of the bier where his father lay. Tails tucked. They knew they had lost a member of their pack. Jon knew his father's soul would be in Garymr, but just as in marriage, a wolf and warg are as one, they still retain their own conscience.
He would rather have his father alive in body, not just in spirit.
Jon heard the creak of a door opening and turned towards the sound. There he saw his friend Daeron enter followed by the rest of their strange band. Three Northmen and two Valyrians royals. It would make a fine jape if Jon was so talented.
Jon knew they were expected at the celebratory feast that was being held in honor of their victory, so why were they all here.
Daeron said, "Jon, I know I have said this before, but you have my condolences. Your father was a great man, and I am honored to have been able to call you both a friend. Yet, you cannot let yourself waste away standing vigil for your father. You haven't eaten any food in days".
Jon replied, "I ate just yesterday, when my father still lived before the battle".
Beron said, "Jon, that was four days ago".
Jon asked, "Truly? That must be why I can't hear the sound of music and feasting".
Theo said, "Truly, Jon. You must rest. Even the strongest stallion or wolf needs rest".
Jon said, "My father was a strong wolf, he would have been a great Lord of Winterfell. It is my own fault that he lies here now while I still live".
Ameon said, "Jon, you must not think that. Your father loved you and I saw him fight like the Warrior made flesh to protect you during the Battle of the Bloodyway. My father, sister, nephew, and cousins would be distraught if I died protecting Daeron, but they know that I gladly died for Daeron's sake, not just out of duty as a Knight of the Kingsguard, but out of the love I bear my cousin and King. Your father would never wish to switch places with you Jon, and his shade is at peace as you avenged him".
Jon asked, "Vengeance is said to taste sweet, but all I taste is ash. I would gladly trade it and my honor to have my father among the living".
Daeron said, "Aye, I understand. I would gladly trade my crown and glory for my own father to return to my siblings, mother, and I. I know he wished to trade his crown for his elder brothers and parents as well. Yet we cannot make that trade, all we can do is live our lives in a way that brings them pride. Perhaps, we will see them again when we join the gods, but only the gods truly know".
Jon replied, "Aye, that is true enough".
Ameon said, "Jon, please rest. I will take your place and stand vigil for your father".
Jon said, "He is my father, I must stand vigil, no matter the sacrifice".
Daeron said, "If not for your own sake then for Daena's sake. She loves you and wants to be your bride, but she cannot do that if you let yourself waste away before you can marry her".
Jon asked, "Is that an order, my king"?
Daeron said, "Yes, that is my royal command. If you still wish to marry Daena and bring your father and Lord Grandfather pride, then you must rest".
Jon replied, "As my King commands".
Jon stepped away from the bier where he stood vigil and like a fluid shadow Prince Ameon took his place. Though Jon's movements were less fluid and he ended up stumbling. Nearly falling flat on his face if Daeron and Beron hadn't caught him. Theo, Beron, and Daeron all helped him to a chamber that they said had been set aside for him. Wraith and Garmyr had followed, but Jon's vision had gone hazy and only his connection to Wraith kept him aware of their movements.
Jon could not remember his armor and clothing being removed, nor his friends leaving him to rest. As soon as his body had gone under the covers he knew nothing but the void of sleep.
Author's Note: I know a bit of a short chapter, but just wanted to cover Jon's grief. There will be a fairly big time skip from this chapter to the next in order to keep the story going at a good pace.