Disclaimer: I don't own THAT 70S SHOW nor Aerosmith.
9.8: Remember Walking In the Sand
Fez was sitting in a bubblebath, relaxing before going to work at the salon, when the door opened.
"Janie?" he asked, but instead saw a burly biker type. "AI!! Who are you?"
"Whoa, sorry dude," the guy said. "I'm Janie's friend, she said I could brush my teeth in here."
"But I'm in the tub!"
"You aren't her boyfriend are you?" he asked. "Cuz if you were this would be really REALLY awkward."
"No, I'm not her boyfriend, I'm just her roommate," Fez said. "Could you leave please?!"
"Hey, I'm Bruce," the guy said, extending a hand.
"Are you Janie's boyfriend then?"
"Oh, no, just a FRIEND if you know what I mean," Bruce said, and laughed sleazily.
"…. Please get out of my bathroom," Fez said.
"Can I brush my teeth?"
"NO YOU MAY NOT BRUSH YOUR TEETH! I SAID GOOD DAY!" Fez exclaimed, and Bruce left the bathroom.
Janie walked in.
"Sorry Fez," she said, going for her toothbrush.
"Janie! What are YOU doing now?" he asked.
"I'm just gonna brush my teeth," she said. "You don't mind, do you?"
"I'm trying to take a bath! And who is that guy?"
"Oh, him? No one really," Janie said, toothbrush in her mouth. She brushed quickly, and spat out the toothpaste. "He won't be back, just met him last night, that's all."
"Okay," Fez said. "Now PLEASE LEAVE!" She shrugged, and left the bathroom.
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Eric clamored down the steps, and sat next to Donna on the ratty couch.
"Okay, I got tonight off, just like you wanted," he said. "It took a lot of begging, but I definitely got it off. So what did you want to do?"
"I have a great plan in store for tonight," Donna said. "You know that new Japanese Restaurant in town?"
"Shogun? What about it?"
"We're going there. For sushi!!"
"… Are you joking?"
"Oh come on, Eric! It'll be fun!" Donna said. "Janie said that sushi is really really good!"
"Janie also says that foi grois is good, but I don't see you running to get your hands on that," he said.
"There is a difference between raw fish and the liver of a goose that was force fed to death," Donna said, bitterly.
"The yuck factor is the same for me," Eric said.
"Come on, Eric, where's your sense of adventure?" she asked. "You lived in Africa for all those months and now you won't even try some sushi?"
"I don't think I should have to venture in Wisconsin," Eric said.
Jackie walked into the basement in a huff.
"Jackie, have you had sushi?" Donna asked.
"Yes."
"Is it good?" Eric asked.
"Yes."
"Jackie and I agree on nothing, so it's guaranteed that I won't like it," Eric said.
"Jackie, what's wrong?" Donna asked, clued in to Jackie's bad mood. "Wait. Why aren't you at work?"
"What work?" Jackie asked. "I got fired!"
"What?" Donna asked. "What happened?"
"Christine said that her coffee wasn't hot enough. I told her that she could bite me on the ass," Jackie said.
"Wow, I can see why she fired you," Eric said.
"Whatever, I just won't put the station on my resume," Jackie said. "Back to using the Cheese Shop."
"Ouch," Donna said. "So what are you going to do?"
"I don't know," Jackie said. "Time to start job hunting."
"There's always Red's Muffler Shop," Donna said.
"WHAT?" Jackie asked. "Donna, are you nuts? ME working in a CAR shop?!"
"You do have a knack, Jackie," Eric said. "Think about it. For now, though, I'm spending the day with my favorite woman in the whole world!"
"Aw, thank you," Donna said, and they nuzzled noses. Jackie groaned, and left the basement.
"Okay, she's gone," Eric said. "What's happening on our great date today?"
"Besides the sushi?"
"No sushi."
"Oh yes sushi," Donna said.
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Fez walked into the Foreman kitchen, and saw Laurie at the table.
"Hello, ex wife," he said. She looked up from her magazine.
"Hello, weird foreign guy," she answered.
"I need your help," he stated. "I would only ask for you help if I really needed it, and I really REALLY need it." She set her magazine down.
"I'm listening," she said.
"Janie likes bad boys. You like bad boys. What is it about them?" he asked.
"Fez, let's get one thing straight," she said. "I don't date bad boys. I date rich married men who are willing to spoil me."
"Isn't that the same thing?" Fez asked.
"But anyway, I am willing to help you because I'm in a nice mood," Laurie said. "Let me guess. You want your punk roommate to want to sleep with you."
"That is the goal, yes."
"Well, I'm sure I can give you some advice. First, get a new wardrobe."
"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" Fez asked.
"It doesn't say Joey Ramone, it says 'stuck in the disco'," Laurie said. "Or Cabana Boy…. I'm not sure which."
"Not her thing?"
"Hell no!"
"Oh."
"And also, act aloof," Laurie said, beginning to file her nails. "Not like a little puppy. It's a turn off. Trust me."
"I don't act like a puppy!" Laurie looked up, widened her eyes, stuck out her lower lip, and commenced mocking.
"Laurie, I'm so happy we're married," she said, voice whiney. "Jackie, I'd do anything for you! Nina, I'd-."
"Okay okay okay!" he snapped. "Anything else?"
"Don't be so attentive to your hair."
"But, I like my hair!"
"Bad boys don't care about their hair!" she snapped. "Fez, I swear, if you follow my tips she won't be able to resist you. Just imagine it."
And he did.
He would walk into the apartment, The Clash playing his entrance, decked out to look like a prototypical punk rocker. Janie would stand up from the couch.
"Fez?" she would ask. "What happened to you?"
"I'm just keeping it simple, baby," he'd say, and she'd swoon.
"You look so BADASS!"
"It's who I am."
"Will you take me, Fez?" He'd smirk, and speak right into her face.
"When I feel like it." She'd swoon again, and he'd have her.
He was pulled from his fantasy, and grinned goofily.
"I'll do it!" he exclaimed.
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Jackie and Janie sat in the Hub.
"I don't know what I'm going to do about money now," Jackie said. "I'd usually want to just ask my parents, but Daddy doesn't get out for a year and Mom's been missing from the house for a week now."
"Oh my God, are you worried?" Janie asked.
"Nah, she'll turn up in probably a week or two, with a sunburn and a guy named Ralph," Jackie said. "I could wait until then."
"Why not work at Grooves?" Janie asked.
"I already live with Steven, I don't want to work for him too," Jackie said. "And I don't want to work at the salon because I don't want to be touching people's hair all day long. Do you know the awful state's people let their hair get into in this town?"
"I had no idea," Janie said, eating some fries.
"It's terrible," Jackie said, sipping her soda.
"What about Red's Muffler Shop?" Janie asked.
"Again with the Muffler shop!" Jackie exclaimed. "I don't work in muffler shops. Dirty men work in muffler shops!"
"My cousin Jack works in a muffler shop!" Janie said.
"And how clean is he?"
"… Okay, point taken," Janie said.
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Donna and Eric walked through a snowy park.
"I love that we can just spend the day together," Donna said. "Our schedules conflict so much, when was the last time we did this?"
"Well, the last time we froze our butts off together was not to long ago," Eric said. "But a date for just the two of us, without obligation or other places to be? I don't know."
"Well, who knows when we'll get another one?" Donna asked. "This might very well be our last winter in Point Place."
"And thank God for that," Eric said. "At least we're getting out, right?"
".. I guess. But then, this town really shaped who we are," Donna said.
"I for one can't wait to leave," Eric said. Donna lagged a little, put off by this statement.
She was about to say something, but a snowball smacked Eric in the face.
"Oh what the FRICK?!" he exclaimed, and saw two familiar preteens.
"It's the nerd from the record store!" the blonde said.
"It's Linda Blair and Polly Pocket!" Eric snapped. Another snowball hit him in the face. "Hey, that one was an ice ball! Knock it off!"
"Come on, Eric, leave them alone," Donna said.
"Yeah, hide behind your girlfriend!" Linda Blair said.
"He's not hiding behind me," Donna said, and a snowball hit her in the face next. "What the hell you little skank?!" Donna grabbed some snow off the ground, and smacked Linda Blair right in the face.
"You just hit a twelve year old girl with a snowball," Eric said.
"Watch out!" Donna exclaimed, knocking him out of the way. She was faster than the two bratty girls, and continuously hit them, barely taking any hits.
"See, this is why I hate this town!" Eric exclaimed, ducking from the crossfire.
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Fez and Laurie walked into Grooves. Hyde looked up, and groaned.
"Please don't tell me you got married again," he said.
"You're so funny, Hyde," Laurie said, snidely. "Does being a slacker enhance the sense of humor? Should studies be done?"
"Hyde, we are here because we need to look at some albums," Fez said.
"What, like to buy?"
"Not really," Fez said. "To model off of."
"The hell are you talking about?" Hyde asked.
"We're making Fez into a bad boy," Laurie said. "He thinks that if he's bad Janie will like him."
"Oh. Well, try some Judas Priest," Hyde said. "There should be pictures on their albums or something."
"I'm over the good girls, Hyde," Fez said. "Jackie was the last straw. Good girls aren't so good. Bad girls are honest with their badness."
"First of all, Janie isn't exactly a bad girl," Hyde said. "Come on. Her worst offense was stealing some boards from a construction site. Oooooh! Scary!"
"Don't listen to him, Fez," Laurie said.
"Second of all, give Jackie a break, okay?" Hyde asked. "She dumped you because she didn't want to hurt you, not to be a bitch."
"Where are these records?" Fez asked. Hyde pointed in the general direction, and Fez nodded and walked towards them.
"Uh oh!" Laurie said, mockingly. "Someone has a wittle cwush on his exey wexxie!"
"Ha, in your wildest dreams," Hyde stated. "She's a goody goody. Why would I be attracted to a vain girl who works at a TV station?"
Jackie burst in the door.
"Steven, should I work at Red's Muffler Shop?" she asked.
"But… the TV station," Hyde said, and Laurie bit back a laugh.
"Oh, I was fired this morning because I told Christine she could bite my ass," Jackie said. "AND, as I left I slashed her front tire!"
"Wow Jackie," Laurie said shooting Hyde a smug look. "How felonious of you. Not goody goody at all."
"You can follow suit and bite my ass too," Jackie said. "So what do you think? Muffler Shop?"
"I don't see you as the Muffler Shop type," Hyde said. "I mean, sure , you know cars pretty well, but come on, Jackie, you couldn't last a day in that situation." Her eyes flashed at him.
"Oh and why not?" she demanded. "I bet I could if I put my mind to it!"
"… I can't think about you and your job situation right now!" Hyde said, as Laurie smirked. Jackie put her hands on her hips.
"Well I just thought that since we share an apartment you'd want to know that I was fired," she snapped. "But whatever, Steven!" She left the record store, and Laurie arched her eyebrows at him.
Fez walked back, holding a record.
"I'm supposed to dress like this?!" he demanded. "They look like Hells Angels!"
"And Janie would probably love to sleep with a Hells Angel!" Laurie said.
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Eric and Donna sat in the car, silent.
"I can't believe you made that little girl cry," Eric said. Donna shrugged.
"Well, she had it coming," Donna stated, defensively. Eric nodded, and smiled at her. She smiled back, and looked at the dashboard. "So… Are you sad you came back?"
"Huh?" he asked.
"Back to Point Place," she said. "Are you sad you came back instead of staying in Africa?"
"No, why would I be?"
"Well, you really seem to hate it here," she said.
"I don't hate it here," he said. "I'm just eager to get out of here. This town just strangles you, ya know?"
"I guess," Donna said. "I mean, I can't wait to get to Madison, but part of me really likes it here."
"I like my friends," Eric said. "And that's about it. My parents drive me crazy and my sister is a bitch."
"Both true," Donna said. "Of course, all our memories are here."
"Yeah, I guess," Eric said. "I'm hungry. Wanna go to dinner early?" She sighed, and nodded.
"Sure, why not?" she asked. "I guess raw fish couldn't hurt my mood."
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Janie was sitting in the apartment, when Fez walked in, wearing full bad boy garb. Janie looked at him, mouth dropped.
"Hey, Janie," he said. "What's going on with you today?"
"Not much," Janie said, stifling a laugh. "Um, this is a new look for you, right?"
"Oh, you know," Fez said, sitting on the arm of the couch. "Just trying something new."
"Well that's fair," Janie said. "So…. Are you going for the leatherdaddy look or something?"
"Would you like me to be your leather daddy?" he asked. She stood up, holding up her hands.
"I'm not sure you know what you're saying," she said. "But… okay, Fez, it's fairly obvious to me and everyone else that you have a thing for me. But hey, I'm not interested. And it has nothing to do with you, okay? You're a good guy, and you always will be even if you doll up in leather and chains. I don't really do the good guys because I always disappoint them. So… Just forget about me, okay?"
"… Janie…"
"This is a weird conversation to tell you this in, but I'm going to go stay with my parents for awhile. I mean, I was going to anyway, Dad's birthday and all that, but I think it's for the best." She smiled sadly, and walked into her room. Fez sighed, and sat on the couch fully.
"Damn you, leather," he said. "You do nothing!"
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Jackie knocked on the Foreman's door, and Red opened it.
"Hello, Jackie," he said. "No one is in the basement right now."
"Mr. Foreman, I know this is going to sound crazy but I've come to see you," she said. "Steven doesn't think that I can work in your muffler shop, and I need a job. I want to prove him wrong. You know I'm good with cars and you also know I'm charismatic as hell. So how about you give me a salesgirl position, and that way I can have a job and also show Steven that I'm not totally worthless." Red looked at her, and smiled sardonically.
"Sure, Jackie," he said. "I've needed a salesgirl for awhile, someone who could bring in customers. I bet you could do that."
"Damn right I could, I'm hot," she stated.
"You start Monday, starting at four dollars an hour," Red said. "You work from nine to three, Monday Tuesday Wednesday and Sunday."
"Make it five fifty an hour and you have yourself a deal," she said.
"Okay, deal," he said. She smiled, and shook his hand.
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Donna was quiet as the waited for their sushi. Eric played with his chopsticks, and cleared his throat.
"Okay, what's going on?" he asked. "I mean, you haven't said much since our walk in the park."
"Just thinking," she said.
"About what?"
"Well, after we go to Madison, who's to say that I don't want to come back to Point Place for awhile?"
"Why would you?" he asked. "I mean, Madison is so great, and there are even bigger and greater cities out there. Why would you want to come back here?" She shrugged.
"My life is here, Eric," she said. "Everything I know is here. How could you let it all go so easily?"
"I didn't," he said. "I came back, didn't I?"
"Yeah, but you seem very eager to leave again," she said.
"With you this time," Eric said. "Come on, Donna. You know I'd do anything for you. I'm about to eat raw fish for you!"
"But would you come back with me?" she asked.
"… Let's just eat our dinner."
"… Fine," she said. The waitress brought the plate of sushi. They both looked at it like it was very weird.
"How did I let you talk me into this?" he asked.
"Janie and Jackie said it was good."
"Janie's a weirdo and Jackie is a snob," Eric said. Donna looked at it, and then at him.
"I can't even eat sushi," she said. "How can you expect me to leave this town forever if I can't even eat sushi?!" She stood, and ran from the restaurant. Eric sighed, and ate a sushi.
"…. That's pretty good," he said to himself.
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Hyde was on the couch when Jackie walked in.
"I got a job at Red's Muffler Shop," she said, smugly. "I told you that I could do it, and I did it. You need to learn to have a little more faith in me. I'm more competent than you give me credit for."
"Oh, okay," he said.
"… You're supposed to be humiliated," she said.
"Am I?" he asked.
"Yes. Be humiliated!"
"…. No." She huffed, and sat on the couch next to him. "…. You really got a job there? Red really hired you?"
"Yep."
"Wow…."
"…. You're a little humiliated, admit it."
"Sorry."
FADE OUT