"I think I like you," Johnny said. I look over and Johnny is looking at me.
"What?" Johnny cleared his throat.
"You didn't hear me?"
"I did it's just…" I trailed off, I couldn't quite find the words to say at the moment.
"I know that have haven't known each other for long, and I know that you have that girl and the baby on the way and I know that you and Jackie are a thing now-" I cut him off.
"Me and Jackie aren't together." I said, very tight and low. Why would that even occur to anyone? Me and Jackie? We say that we love each other, but that's nothing serious. We're friends. We're just friends. Why would we need to be anything else? We're just friends. He's had girlfriends, I've had girlfriends. I don't even think Jackie LIKES men. It's audacious that anyone would even think that. I know rumors are just rumors, but damn. It's just not true. Not even an ounce, right? Right.
"Oh, I just thought since you know… since you guys talk a lot." Johnny shrank back. I could feel my throat tighten and my fist clench.
"We don't like each other, we're just friends." I said.
"I'm sorry." He said. He just went back to what he was doing before. Eyes forward, and his full attention on the road. We were alone with our thoughts, I don't know what to think. I don't know what to do. I don't what to think I should do. I'm lost and confused about everything. Does Jackie like me? Could Jackie like me? Does anyone think that Jackie and I are together? I stared at the trees passing me by, and the clouds follow the car past us. Johnny didn't say anything all the way home.
With no words, we got to his house and he let me in. He told me that the couch was open. He stalked to his bedroom, and brought back a blanket and a couple pillows.
"Goodnight," I said in the softest voice that I could manage.
"Do you feel the same way?" Johnny said, in a whisper. I gave it a few moments thought. I did like him, we did indeed have a connection. We could be something. What else was that incident in the dressing room? Can you just do that kind of thing without feeling some kind of emotion? Is he just trying to use me? God, I'm sounding like a girl now. It's ridiculous. I'm Ronnie Radke, not some bitch that is scared of feeling rejection. Fuck it.
"Yea, I'm starting to think so." Johnny gave a slight smiled and look me in the eyes.
"Good." He said, I leaned in and put my hand on his cheek.
"I'd like to think so," he smirked and kissed me full on. It was a small and sweet kiss. I broke it, and sat down on the couch. He gave me the pillows and propped me up on them. I layed down on the couch and he tucked me in. He kissed me on the forehead and walked off to his bedroom. I could feel my face getting red. I had a crush, a school-girl type of crush. Fuck. I heard my phone vibrate, pulled it out and I saw that I had three texts from Jackie and for the first time in about three years, I ignored them. Crissy called, but I didn't call back. I was trying to stay in the moment. And I stayed in that moment all the way until I drifted off to sleep. I didn't dream, all I saw way black. But somehow, this black was comforting. Almost warm.
