Like most nights they were in the Foundry and also like most nights Roy was sitting on the edge of Felicity's desk twirling an arrow bored out his mind. They had just finished a big mission, something about a bank robber and some family jewels. Roy wasn't all that sure, he couldn't stop chuckling in his mind every time Oliver had growled the word family jewels.
All in all it had been a boring couple of days and while there was some action of the driving fast persuasion, there hadn't been much fighting and no one had gotten nearly dead and that made for a restless vigilante.
Oliver and Roy had headed back to the Foundry earlier that night to recap after the bad guy had been turned into SCPD and while Oliver had just left to have dinner with Thea, Roy didn't have much going on so he decided to stick around and poke at Felicity since she was stuck here setting up new searches for their next target.
Roy snuck a glance at Felicity and snorted. She still seemed to be on edge from her argument with Oliver and that made him roll his eyes. Those two had been on each others cases for months now. Even after everything with the League and Merlyn had died down Oliver and Felicity still were at odds. At least now the fights didn't often end in slamming doors and Felicity's loud voice.
He really hated it when Mom and Dad fought.
He didn't even know what there were fighting about at this point. It couldn't still be about Felicity dating Palmer, that had ended weeks ago when Ray had decided to move down to Coast City to help out some other Green dude.
He tried asking her about it, but all he got was a glare for his trouble and that annoyed him to no end. So he decided to poke at her some more.
"You're so married." Roy said simply, looking at the arrow he was poking his boot with. He tried not to smirk when Felicity stopped typing and turned to look at him, leaning back in her swivel chair, both arms resting on the handles.
"What does that even mean? Why do people keep saying that?" She asked with a huff.
"Because it's true. You and Oliver are so married that a piece of paper is irrelevant at this point." He said, dead serious. They really acted like an old married couple and it was sort of disgusting. "Married." He finished with a quirk of his eyebrow. He was sure it looked a little ridiculous since he was still wearing his grease paint, but if it worked for The Winter Solider he was sure he could pull it off too.
"We are not married! I am not married to Oliver Queen." Felicity said in her loud voice, shaking her head at him. Then she squinted and kind of shrugged a little "Yeah okay, so he may have kissed me once." She paused and winced. "Or you know twice or maybe even like a few times. But we are not married." She said firmly, and the bit her lip. "And yes they were nice kisses. And yeah okay so his lips may have tasted like sunshine and erections...and oh my God no! Not like erections. His lips so did not remind me of erections or the taste."
Felicity stared.
Roy stared.
They both just stared.
And the second Roy blinked Felicity knew that he wouldn't just let that go and she raised her hand to her face and rose to her feet to pace.
Roy sat there and watched her start to pace, head in her hand and smirked. Never in his life did he think that he would want to discuss Oliver Queen and erections but this was just way too good to pass up.
"You said his lips taste like erections. I was right here. I witnessed that happening." Roy said, getting to his feet and crossing his arms over his chest with a triumphant grin.
"No, no, no nononono, I did not say that and that is not even a thing. No erections. Not erections, that did not come out right." She insisted, her hands now gone from her face and waving around. She was going to vomit. It was going to happen.
"Or did it come out just right?" Roy asked with a laugh as he followed her around the lair, keeping a safe distance from her flailing arms.
"No, no coming, there was no coming and no erections and why for the love of GOD can I not stop saying erections?" At that Felicity flung herself onto the couch in the corner and buried her face into the arm rest and, because she was an adult and a crime fighter she did the mature thing and screamed into the cushion.
"You can stop saying erection as soon as you tell me how you know Oliver's lips taste like an erection." Roy said, totally serious from behind the couch, his chin propped up on the top. This was like his Christmas.
"No taste, there was no taste of anything like that. No taste. Nope. None." Felicity said, popping the 'p' in Nope as she leaned forward to put her head in between her knees, because yes she was going to vomit from embarrassment.
"You said taste." Roy said matter-of-factly as he came around the couch and sat beside her. "You literally said the word taste and erection and something about sunshine but who the fuck cares about sunshine when there are erections involved?" Roy squinted at that, wondering why HE kept saying erections. Felicity was rubbing off on him.
"No. There is nothing about erections and I just need you to go away. Please stop it, I am tired and I just tracked a bank robber for 72 hours and I need a shower." At this she rose from the couch and started to make her way to the bathroom, to use the emergency shower to drown herself so she could stop talking about Oliver's erection flavored lips.
"A cold one." She heard Roy snicker behind her as she slammed the door.
Six months later, when Roy and Diggle had come down the stairs of the Foundry to see Oliver and Felicity engaged in an embrace that would make Donna Smoak blush Roy had to be escorted out he was laughing so hard.
Literally choking on the work 'erection'.
