Small triangular ears swivelled as a teasing breeze brushed past them. The forest was quiet, but comfortably so. Hunching his shoulders Inuyasha tried to make his body as small as it possibly could.
The pain.
It was unbearable. It was like someone had rammed their hand through his chest and pulled out his still beating heart. Only to crush and stamp on it until nothing remained and return it to the gaping hole where his heart should have been. He'd survived pain before. Survived after his mother left him, survived the world as he grew up, survived the pain of betrayal from Kikyo and survived the battle with Japans most evil monstrosity.
But he couldn't survive losing her.
His ears plastered themselves to his skull as a broken whine scrapped his throat. The stinging sensation of tears assaulted his once glowing but now dulled golden orbs, the tears falling down the dirt smeared tracks left from previous tears to drip off his cheek and collect in a damp patch on his bloody fire rat suit. But he cared not. He didn't care that he was a crumpled mess beside the Bone Eaters Well, the construction that had brought his very being for existence to his world. He didn't care that his claws left welts in his arms as he hugged himself in an attempt to ease the agony within his chest, to close the hole that had taken residence where his heart once was, that his fangs punctured his bottom lip as he bit it, preventing him from wailing and roaring his loss to the world.
And that was how poor little Shippo found him. Within seconds the tiny Kit launched himself in the Hanyou's arms and was pleasantly surprised that Inuyasha crushed the boy to his chest. Shippo couldn't have stopped the tears even if he tried, nor the agonised cry that left his throat raw and bleeding. He needed the comfort the strong male's arms gave, needed the release of his sorrow. He'd lost so much in his young life and to lose yet another parent was too much for his young heart to take.
And so the pair cried and held each other. Soon the Hanyou's tears ran dry and his throat so raw it could make no more sound. Even then he did not relinquish his hold on the demon child, who shook occasionally with his small hiccups. Shippo's slow breath told him that the poor child had cried himself to sleep. He almost envied him. Almost. Inuyasha knew he would not be sleeping for some time. He could already feel the nightmares crawling out of the darkest places of his mind, ready to conjure any and all images of his beloved Kagome, dying again and again. His mind struggled with the word.
Dying.
Dead.
His Kagome and that awful word did not belong in the same sentence let alone the same reality.
"Oh Kami it hurts! Why Kagome? Why did you leave me? What am I… I can't…I can't go on without you… The others don't understand. How could they? How could they understand how much this hurts? I'm so sorry Kagome, so so sorry" His eyes burned but there was no more tears. He'd dried up of those ages ago. He couldn't remember ever crying so much. But then again he'd never suffered a loss so great. In his arms Shippo gave a heart breaking whimper in his sleep, his mother's name escaping his lips.
"Kagome..."
Bringing the kit closer to him, Inuyasha slowly and painfully stood. The all-consuming pain in his chest killed his senses and although he felt crushed under the weight of his heavy heart he felt hollow, numb, at the same time. He didn't know how long he'd sat against the well, holding the small child to his chest almost as a lifeline to the world of the living, a lifeline he wasn't sure whether he wanted or not. What was the point when the one he loved wasn't in it with him?
The sun had long set and the stars shone brightly within the midnight sky. Without thought his feet moved, sluggish and strained, towards the Goshinboku. As he neared his eyes scanned the holy tree with something akin to desperation. This was their tree, where it all started. They had a connection through this tree and his battered heart cried out, praying and pleading with all the Kami above to connect to her.
"Onegai…"
Silence was his answer and he gave a hollow, dead laugh. He knew he couldn't rely on the powers that be. They had taken everything he had ever held dear so why would they listen to his pleas for them back?
"You sound as if you are already dead, my friend."
The hanyou didn't grace Miroku with a glance nor a response. Maybe he was dead. He certainly felt it.
"I honestly do not know what to say, Inuyasha." Admitted the Houshi with a sad shake of his head "I know it means nothing to you at this moment but I am here for you, should you need it." He continued, placing a comforting hand on the broken Hanyou's shoulder.
Shrugging it off, Inuyasha turned and placed the sleeping Kitsune in his friend's arms.
"Take care of him." He rasped, his words gravelly from his raw throat, as he turned and walked away.
"Where are you going?" Miroku called, frowning in worry over his companion's state of mind "Come back to Kaede's, rest. Kami knows you need it."
His words fell on deaf ears as he watched Inuyasha disappear into the surrounding forest. His hands gripped the Kit tightly, his heart filled with sorrow and pain. Releasing a troubled sigh, he turned and headed back to the others. Although he was worried about him, Miroku also knew that Inuyasha was sorely in need of time to himself. To grieve and come to terms with all that had happened. His violet eyes travelled to the tiny cargo in his arms. His heart went out to the poor child. Eyes puffy and red from the tears Miroku knew he had shed, his little face contorted into a look of pain and the little hiccup made Shippo look so young. The Houshi finally made his way back to the little hut that they had called home for so long. The warm glow of the fire did little the warm the cold that had settled on his heart. Gently placing the small boy on the mat, he gently pulled a blanket over his shivering form.
"He will take this loss far worse than anyone, bar Inuyasha." Kaede sighed, warming her hands by the fire.
"I agree, Lady Kaede. I hate to see him suffer so for someone so young. I cannot foresee how he is going to cope." Miroku replied, smoothing the scruffy orange hair some Shippo's face.
Humming in agreement, Kaede asked if he had seen Inuyasha. Setting himself beside the fire, the Houshi gave a sad shake of his head.
"Only briefly but what I saw was enough to know that it will take a considerable amount of time for him to heal, if at all. His eyes.." he shuddered, rubbing the prayer beads that still wrapped around his once cursed hand "They were so hallow. He honestly looked empty, dead. "
"I agree that it will take him time to recover. Ye must have faith that he is strong enough to come through this tough time." Kaede said, smiling sadly at the young monk, although she knew it would take more than faith to help their Hanyou friend.
He nodded in agreement, knowing that it would take a miracle for Inuyasha to come through. As the silence stretched he raised his eyes to the matt in the far corner. His eyes softened as he watched Kikyo sleep. From the light of the fire he could see tear tracks that blemished her cheeks. Watching her somewhat peaceful slumber, he could see yet again how young she really was. Again his heart went out to her, for she had much to overcome in the near future.
"What has she decided to do?" he asked, nodding his head towards her sleeping form.
Kaede sighed sadly and gazed longingly at her older/younger sister. Her ears rang with Kikyo's sobs after her altercation with Inuyasha earlier that day. Her sister was so confused, her newly revived body filled with a crazed hoard of emotions she had been without for so long that she knew not what to make of them, let alone deal with them.
"She wishes to leave. My sister knows she is not welcomed as her reincarnation was. Ye must understand that this Kikyo before you is how my dear sister was before the Jewel had come into her life." The old Miko stated.
"We would not stop her from residing in the village if she wished to. I admit it I cannot speak for the others, but I would see no problem."
"Sango has made it quite clear to this old woman that she does not wish for my sister to be here."
Miroku cursed under his breath. With all the commotion of trying to find Shippo and Inuyasha, he had completely forgotten to check up on his fiancée. Muttering a rushed apology to Kaede, he rushed out the hut and into the night. After speaking to a few village men, returning home from working in the fields, Miroku set off in the direction the men had said they had seen the Taijiya go. It did not take him long, the path of decimated trees gave way to where she was. Climbing over fallen trees and following the sounds of her angry cries, Miroku's heart broke that little bit more at the sight before him.
Sango was dressed in her Taijiya outfit, hurling her mighty bone weapon at the cluster of trees that had avoided so far to be flattened. Her long brunette hair was unbound, swishing with her movements whilst some stuck to her sweat slicked face. A ferocious scowl made her beautiful features contort into something deadly, tears streaming down her cheeks. With an angered cry she let go on the Hiraikotsu go, her body stumbling with her exhausted effort. Within seconds the trees were destroyed and the giant boomerang flew towards her and was caught by her experienced hands only to be flung again with that same cry.
"Sango"
His words went unheard as she continued to destroy her surroundings her movements becoming more forceful, her anger growing.
"Sango please"
Nothing.
"Sango!" Miroku cried, grabbing the Hiraikotsu in his tight grasp before she could launch it once more.
"Get off me!" she cried, sending tears flying as she shook her head.
Pulling her into his arms, Miroku held her tight. Pushing as much as she could against his chest, Sango attempted to free herself.
"I said get off me you perverted Houshi!" Sango screamed, tears flowing at a faster rate.
Miroku said nothing as he held on, ignoring the pounding of her fists against his chest, her feet stamping on his and the way her body tried wrenching itself from his hold. He could feel her pain, her aura laced with the anguish and pain she had in her heart. Knowing he had to stop her, his rough hands grabbed both sides on her face and forced it to meet his.
"Enough Sango!" he snapped, causing her to go still. Her brown eyes swam with unshed tears and her face was red from her actions.
"It hurts"
Sighing he hugged her tight, pulling her down with him as he sat down. Stroking her hair he rocked slowly. The dam broke and Sango let loose a wail before succumbing to her sobs, her body shaking with the force of her cries. The Houshi comforted her as well as he knew how, letting her grieve for as long as she needed. After a while her sobs turned to sniffles and quiet hiccups. Smoothing her hair he spoke.
"I spoke to her today" he began.
At her questioning glance he continued, a small smile on his face. He had to go about this as gently as possible. He knew Kagome's words would help his dear Sango but he didn't want to overwhelm her so soon.
"Kagome, I spoke to her today."
"That's a sick joke, Houshi." Sango snapped, pulling away.
"Ah but it's not a joke my dear. Would you like to hear what she said?" he asked.
"Kagome is gone, Houshi, don't you get it? How can you speak to someone that isn't here anymore?"
"Her spirit still lives." He replied softly "Just because she isn't here in body does not mean our little Miko is not here in spirit." Pausing he moved "Or in here" he said as his still gloved hand moved across her heart.
Glancing towards the heavens, Miroku took in the beauty of the stars that shone so brightly. They reflected in his eyes and Sango's breathe hitched. The peaceful way he looked told her, deep within, that he would not lie of something so important.
"What did she say?" she whispered, her head hung in anticipation "Onegai, tell me?"
"She is sorry"
"Sorry?" Sango whispered, her tone laced with anger.
"Hai, she didn't want to leave us but it was her time." Miroku replied, returning his gaze back to her.
Opening his arms again he waited for the Taijiya to reclaim her spot. She moved cautiously, unsure if she wanted to be held. But the need for comfort outweighed her discomfort. Once comfortably held, Miroku continued. "She wanted me to tell you that she didn't mean to cause you so much pain, that while at the moment it may seem as if things won't, our Kagome assured me that things will get better. She hoped that these words would bring you comfort, help heal your wounds." Nuzzling his face into her hair, Miroku breathed a sigh "Please let them, Sango. Seeing you hurting hurts me so much." He confessed.
Sango sniffled. Sure Kagome's words helped, a tiny bit, but this pain wasn't going to leave just like that. She had lost her little brother and Kagome in the same day. She had no one left.
No. That was a lie.
She did have someone. Someone that wanted so badly to care for her, to love her. She just needed to let him. Snuggling closer, Sango nodded softly. Squeezing her body to his, Miroku kissed her head.
"Come, let us return. We are both in need of rest."
Pulling to stand, he made to hold her hand, only to watch as she pulled it away.
"I can't go back there. Not whilst she is there."
Sighing once more, Miroku nodded, pulled her close and sat down once more.
"Then we shall stay here. Tomorrow I shall arrange to have our own house built."
"You're not going to try and convince me to go back? That I'm wrong?" Sango asked.
"I will not make you go where you do not want to, my dear. I am not cruel. I can see your pain and know that it would be too much to ask that you return to Kaede's when you have a valid reason for not wanting to. Now hush, it is late and you need rest." He said, kissing her forehead and wrapping his long sleeves around her smaller frame. "I will keep watch."
Managing a small smile, Sango snuggled closer and closed her eyes. Miroku was right, in time things would get better. Especially with him by her side.
Yeah yeah, i know... Iv been gone a while again... BUT! In my defense i have been SUPER busy and then i was really ill, well still am quite ill. So i thought i would be nice and post a chapter! Please review! Reviews make me happy and the creative juices flow, meaning more updates! Plus they will keep me motivated that people are still reading! Thanks guys! Till next time!
