Disclaimer: To sue or not to sue, that is the question. Whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous lawsuits, or take up understanding that fanfiction is merely that, and by so accepting, end them. (I don't own Shakespeare anymore than I own Dragon Age)
Enjoy!
Odd Couple
Part 3: The Long Way Home Part 1 (Or Avoiding Bartrand)
I hadn't gotten enough sleep from that whole escapade with the Grumpy Elf to deal with bullshit.
Especially not Bartrand's.
"Where the hell are we gonna get the coin for this, Varric? Between the Sharek's breathing down our neck about debt, and that whole Blight-scare in Fereldan, no one but the Warden's would be willing spend a whole lot of money for someone else to go down there! Not to mention—"
Such was my life. Ugh.
"I already told you I was working on it, Bartrand. Where's your faith in my ability to charm?" Oh, Maker my head hurts…
"If you were getting results, I'd have a whole lot more faith! But do I see anyone lining up at the door with coin in hand? No!"
Ah, ever the mature older brother… "These things can't be rushed, brother dearest. You know that as well as I do. Give me another week or two, and we'll have everything we need to go through the Roads."
Bartrand grumbled, but couldn't really say anything that hadn't already been said (at volume) before. Damn, but I was going to be so relieved when this whole affair was over. Between Bartrand and my publisher, I was going to be living out of a bottle for the rest of my life. I practically already was, but that's beside the point.
"Uhm." I looked up to find Hawke dawdling uncertainly in the doorway like a kid. A really, really tall kid. "Is this a bad time?"
I absolutely love this guy's timing, truly I do. "Not at all Hawke! Bartrand was just leaving."
"You sure? We can come back…" We? Oh, I hadn't noticed Aveline at Hawke's shoulder. And there was the broody elf, eyeing everything like he was expecting something big and nasty to jump out and bite him. Hawke had even brought his hound with him today. And Isabela, snoop that she is, was leaning in the doorway, drink in hand, eyes on Fenris' ass, and a smirk firmly in place.
"No, no! Stay, sit, have a drink. Allow me to entertain all of you a spell. It's not often I get such a variety of guests," I chuckle. I eye Bartrand and smirk as he marches out the door in a huff. Highlight of my day, right there. Hawke sits down beside me on one side, Aveline on the other. Fenris didn't seem to trust the chairs, I guess, and opts to stand behind Hawke along with his wardog, while Isabela slinks fully into the room, and onto the table itself. Eh, whatever. "Now, what can I do for you Hawke?"
Hawke smirks, "I was hoping I could pick your brain."
"Sounds unpleasant."
"I promise not to use a fork."
I laugh. Oh, but I like this guy! "Alright then, shoot."
"Aveline, here, heard a rumor about some caravan or other that's about to be hit by smugglers, or bandits, or something. And I know how well you make friends," subtle, Hawke, "Maybe you've heard about it?"
I hum, my eyes going to the ceiling, and my fingers steepling together in thought as I rack my brain for this one. "Nothing like that I've heard of…" I tell the slowly, "But I have noticed a whole lot of information moving through questionable channels. Some of them mine, yes, stop looking at me like that, Aveline."
"What sort of information, Varric? Lives could be at stake," Aveline demands, leaning over the table towards me. I oddly reminded me of how I always pictured Donnen doing that, whilst he would interrogate prisoners…anyways.
"The kind I can use, m'lady. Usually has to do with guard rotations and such. You know, stuff that otherwise gets in the way of my, ahem, work. Speaking of which, Elf," Fenris looks over at me in surprise; I guess he didn't expect me to address him, "that thing you do with your hand—"
His eyes narrowed warily. "I can already tell this isn't going anywhere pleasant," he mumbles (mostly to himself, I think).
I smirk, "I bet that makes pickpocketing easier."
That makes the elf blink. "I'll try it sometime and find out." Wow, kid has a sense of humor after all; who'd a-thunk it?
"Fernis' oh-so-bright future as a pickpocket aside," Hawke interjects, "If someone's moving that kinda info around, we need to stop them. Stuff like that could get the city razed in an instant, in the wrong hands."
"Couldn't have put it better myself, Hawke," Aveline smiles at him, like the big sister she is.
"Why would you have to do anything?" Fenris frowns.
"Well, no one else is volunteering, are they?" Hawke grinned over his shoulder. "Besides, I like to think of it as doing a favor for a friend. Right, Aveline?"
"I'm not going to stop spying one you, Hawke."
"Damn," Hawke pouts. Isabela laughs, while Fenris looks between the two of them in confusion.
"You…allow her to spy on you?" My, my, was that incredulity coloring the elf's tone? So he does have emotion other than blind rage and neutrality.
Hawke snorted, "Even if I didn't she'd do it anyway."
"Aw," Rivaini piped up in feigned hurt, "But you don't take the time to spy on me?"
"I don't have to, whore. You're always right where I expect you to be."
"Ouch," I wink to Isabela, "I think she's challenging you, Rivaini."
"Ha! Lady Man-Hands' just jealous that I'm getting laid. Regularly."
"Oh yes," Aveline droned, "I'm so jealous of how you have to go see Anders almost daily just to get rid of everything you picked up the night before. However will I cope? Look, I'm already turning green with envy."
It's honestly fun watching Rivaini and Aveline go back and forth. Hawke, in fact, leaned over the table like a really big kid (again) yelling, "Cat fight! Cat fight!" while Fenris was making this really…pinched expression. Like he wanted to laugh, but was trying really hard not to.
I, on the other hand, have no such problems. "If that's what's happening, I should sell tickets. But there's a time and a place, right ladies?"
Well, my maturity gets me ribbed, but also serves to get Hawke and Aveline up and out the door. And of course, I tag along. And yes I was avoiding Bartrand; sue me. Fenris comes along too, why I'm not sure, but I guess it had something to do with that debt he seemed to think he owed Hawke. The Rivaini seemed to get some message or other (probably about that box of hers), and skedaddled on out the other way.
We were near the South Gate when Aveline pipes up to Hawke, "Did you ever get that amulet to the Dalish like the witch asked you to do?" which makes him freeze up—and I swear I feel the air crackle with static, suddenly—yell, "Shit!" and turn tail back for Lowtown.
It's amazing how fast that kid can run…must be those long, spindly legs humans seem to have. And Hawke's got the longest I've ever seen.
Fenris watched after Hawke muttering acidly, "He made a deal with a witch?"
"We didn't have much choice at the time," Aveline sighed, "It was either accept her deal and help, or be left to the tender mercies of the Blight. And after…" she trailed off abruptly, a deep sadness pervading her expression that had my author's senses tingling, before continuing stoically, "Well, we didn't have the resources to refuse the Witch's help."
The elf cocked his head to the side, but didn't seem to take any more issue with that, and good thing too, since Hawke was back by then. From there, it was decided that we should head for Sundermount to find this clan of Dalish, and pay this debt Hawke owed, before intercepting Aveline's caravan.
Which meant hiking.
Joy.
You know, with friends like Hawke, who needs enemies?
"Come any closer shem, and you'll meet our blades."
Confused? Join the club. Best I can recall, we were just walking along, heading towards Sundermount when a group of hostile wild-elves surrounded us with arrows pointed at our vitals, and a line of swords and shields (I need to remember that; potential for a story title there…) standing at the ready before us.
What bass ackwards fortune smiled upon us that we got to meet all the fun elves?
"Why, they make you seem downright amiable," I told Fenris. Seriously, at least he started threatening us after the introductions had been made. He rolled his eyes, and Hawke doubled over laughing—I don't think it had been that funny, but whatever. Poor Aveline was left completely without context, and just couldn't find the humor in our situation.
Neither did the Dalish it seemed. Bunch of sticks in the mud.
Hawke straightened, still chuckling a little, and gave them that mega-watt grin he was so (in)famous for. "I have an appointment with Keeper Marethari. Got sent by a Dragon-Lady in Fereldan, and she should be expecting me."
That made the elves blink and step back. "You are the one sent by Asha'Bellenar?" a girl asked.
"Sure, I guess. At least I think she said she was called that sometimes…"
"We thought you would be an elf," some male Dalish said, cutting Hawke off. Certainly don't beat around the bush do they, these elves?
"Afraid not, serah," Hawke beamed, a hint of steel in his smile. "So can we go now, or what?"
The Dalish glanced at each other for a moment before giving their incredibly gracious blessing. And yes, there was as much sarcasm in that phrase as you think there was.
"I hope they're not all like that," I muttered.
"Then you hope in vain," Fenris told me flat out. The stares we were getting from the occupants of the tribe lent credibility to the elf's statement. "The Dalish are just as bigoted as many humans are, and often far more hostile, even to their own kind."
"Well, geeze, that coming from you…" But Hawke shushed us as we came up to what must have been the Keeper. She reminded me of a willow tree, honestly. There was an ageless quality to her, yet you could tell just from looking at her that she had seen a lot of life. Also she was skinny as hell, but I think that's an elf thing. And hey, at least she was friendlier than most other elves I've met—cough, Fenris, Dalish, cough. Hawke showed her the amulet this "Dragon-Lady" had given him, and after examining it for a moment told him he had to go up Sundermount.
"Hawke, you know there's a reason I live in a city, right?"
What was done was done, though, and we were headed up the path when the Keeper hailed Hawke once more.
"Further up that path, you will find my First, Merrill. She will be your guide, and perform the ritual to pay your debt to Asha'Bellenar in full."
"Sounds good, thanks," Hawke grinned, turning to go. Someone was rearing to go…
"When you leave," The Keeper continued, "I must ask that you take Merrill with you."
That stopped Hawke (and the rest of us) cold. "Correct me if I'm wrong," he said slowly, like he couldn't comprehend what he was hearing, "isn't the your First essentially your apprentice?"
"She is."
"And you're getting rid of her?"
"No."
Hawke frowned, "But you just said—"
"If I had my way, Merrill would stay and know peace amongst family," Marethari closed her eyes and looked away, her face pinching in pain, "But many things have happened against my wishes lately. The decision to leave was one Merrill made herself. She is of age, and I cannot stop her from walking this path. If it's what she wants, I will allow it." You could tell it broke her heart to do it, though.
No one said anything for a time. Finally, Hawke walked back over to Marethari and squeezed her shoulders, in a gesture that had all the other Dalish up in arms. Neither of them seemed to notice that, though. "I'm not promising anything," Hawke told Marethari quietly. I had to strain to hear him. "I might be able to convince your Merrill to stay. Cause take it from a fellow Fereldan," he grinned, "Kirkwall is not an easy place to live. But if she still wants to leave your clan when we get back, then I promise I'll look after her."
Marethari's eyes were about the size of dinner plates by this point; I honestly didn't know if they could get any bigger. After staring at Hawke for a long minute, she touched the back of his wrist gently and nodded her apparent relief. He squeezed her shoulders one more time before straightening and turning back to us. "Come on then gents—and Aveline. We've miles to go before we sleep!"
I groaned. "Why do you have to say miles, Hawke?"
Bastard had the nerve to laugh, "Just to spite you Varric."
"Just for that, you're paying for your own drinks."
There wasn't a whole lot of talking after that; damn road was steep. Though, at least I wasn't wearing heavy armor like Aveline, or hauling around a huge flipping broadsword like Elf. Really, I will never in all my life understand warriors; they haul all that weight around willingly. Boggled the mind.
Back to the adventure on hand, though, we were…only a quarter up the mountain when we met Merrill. And I gotta say, I don't have a thing for elves, but Merrill's cute. Bright, shiny, and bouncy, with short dark hair pulled up in a multitude of braids that swung hither and thither as she turned this way and that and large light green eyes. If Marethari was a willow tree, then Merrill was definitely a daisy. Also had the tendency of tripping over herself, as she was doing while introducing herself to Hawke.
He seemed to take it all in stride, though I think she bemused him a bit. He gestured round to all of us, making introductions along the way. "I look forward to working with you, miss," he said at the end, shaking her hand. She seemed surprised, but beamed quite readily at Hawke's friendliness.
Then we got to hike some more. Yay.
And all along the way, Merrill kept up a running dialogue with us. If I wasn't so ready to sit down, I might've laughed. Girl had better stamina than all of us combined.
She did make the mistake, however, of trying to talk to Fenris:
"You're a city elf, right? I didn't know the city elves had vallaslin!"
"What?" Fenris growled.
"Your markings, they are vallaslin, right?" Gotta give Daisy points for persistence.
"I have no idea what that is."
"It means Blood Writing. That's what they're made of. Blood—our blood. It's a mark of adulthood."
"My markings were a brand forced upon me, not a rite of passage," he bit out. With that, Elf rounded on Daisy and gave her a full, unrestrained, frost-bitten glare, "Now leave. Me. Alone."
Daisy shrank back, and I couldn't blame her. Maker, that glare hadn't been aimed anywhere near me, and I felt my balls retract. "Now, now Elf," I said in a vain attempt to keep Merrill from crying, "Daisy was only curious. No need to go biting her head off."
Merrill blinked. "Who's Daisy?"
"Why, you're Daisy, Daisy."
She lit right back up when I told her that, and I felt the odd urge to pat her on the head and give her a cookie. There's something to be said for people who take joy in simple pleasures…
"Hey, now," Hawke called from up ahead, "We all playing nice back there?"
"We're good, Hawke," I called back.
"Good. I don't want to have to make Aveline go back there and separate you lot," he laughed.
"What makes you think I would deal with them?"
"Cause you're the great big armored mama-bear of the group, and I'm just a soft and squishy big brother figure. And staffs are just not as good at defense as shields are."
"What was that, Hawke? Did I just hear you say you want me to train you in swords and shields?" Goodness, Aveline's grin was rather chilling, wasn't it?
Why, it froze the grin on Hawke's face. "Moving on!"
We kept going up, both Hawke and Daisy getting sidetracked off and on about flowers, of all things, when we met up with another Dalish scout. Just one this time, but he might have been the most venomous one yet. Or at least, he was towards Merrill.
"Found someone to take you away from here at last?" he sneered. Merrill nodded, her eyes on her feet, and her cheeks flaming red either with either embarrassment, anger, or perhaps shame. Or maybe some combination of all three. The scout turned to Aveline, "Be done with your business and begone, human. We cannot be rid of this one fast enough." A slender auburn brow rose at that, and Aveline and Hawke swapped a weary glance, but the scout didn't stick around long enough to see it.
Or Fenris' glower.
"The more I hear, the more I wonder what exactly it is you've done," he said aside to Merrill. His tone might have been conversational, had it not been for the dark look he shot her from the corner of his eye.
And honestly, I couldn't help but wonder the same.
"I haven't done anything," Daisy whispered harshly, "What I will do, I will do for the good of my clan, just as the First should. Even if my clan doesn't accept it." She turned away and continued up the mountain, leaving the rest of us in various states of troubled wariness.
I mean, what could Merrill have possibly done to get ostracized like this?
"Hawke, I don't think there's any saving grace you can find here," Aveline told him quietly. "Whatever she did or didn't do, there's too much bad blood between her and her clan. Trying to convince her to stay—"
"Would probably get her killed sooner or later," Hawke sighed, "Keeper or no Keeper." He shook his head in exasperation, fingers threading through his frizzy hair. "Maker, what have I gotten myself into now?"
"If you were wise," Fenris muttered, "You would end this as soon as your debt is paid."
"Good advice, except for one little issue."
"What?"
Hawke grinned ruefully over his shoulder, "I'm not very wise."
So that was Long Way Home part 1- the story marches on.
you know, I think I'm gonna do an interlude after this...meh, we'll see. keep a look out for part 2, and for OC's companion story, The Space Between.
hugs, kisses, and reviews! see ya'll later!
