The phone slipped from Rapunzel's grasp. Her slim fingers clapped over her mouth, and she bit back a choking sob that would certainly wake her daughter.
She leaned up against the wall by the front door, sliding down to the floor. Her shaking right hand reached for her cell phone and somehow, she managed to dial Eugene's number. He picked up on the second ring. Thank goodness.
"Hey, sweets. How's your day going?" he asked.
She gulped. "D-dad's...did you know?"
"Know what?" She could hear Levi talking quietly in the background.
"Dad...the hospital...the hospital just called and Dad passed away, he had cancer and-and we're supposed to go collect his personal effects," she choked. She didn't know how to even say it. It hardly even registered to her.
"What?" Eugene yelped. "He..he said he was going on a business trip!"
Rapunzel swallowed a sob. "He didn't want us to know,"
Eugene huffed on the other end of the phone. He was frustrated, confused, horrified, and...he didn't quite know what. "I'm an hour and a half away from home-"
"I can pack Missy up and go pick his things up from the hospital," Rapunzel broke him off, thinking he was mad at her for some reason.
"No. That's not what I'm saying-no, don't go. I don't want you driving right now. I don't know how upset you are, but I don't want you driving. Okay?"
She choked again. "Okay."
"Sweetie..." he trailed off and sighed, not sure what to say. "I'm so sorry. We'll be home as soon as possible. Or...I'll be. I don't know. I can't..." he must've pressed the 'finish call' button before he was done talking.
Rapunzel took a few deep breaths, but it only succeeded in making her feel ready to pass out. She heard a quiet whimper, then a louder wail, and so she scrambled to her feet, rushing to the bassinet in the living room.
"Sh, baby girl," she said, cuddling the yowling baby while she hurried to get a bottle ready for her, trying to calm the shaking of her hands so she didn't spill the formula everywhere. She felt like her whole world was in a fog, and she couldn't quite make anything out. She presented her baby with the bottle and as she suckled hungrily, Rapunzel focused on her. Her doe eyes, which alternated between staring at her pensively to being squeezed shut. Her tiny fingers that felt the plastic bottle and thick clumps of brown hair poked at haphazard angles.
Rapunzel smoothed the child's downy hair down, blinking back the tears threatening to dribble down her freckled cheeks. Once she was finished with the bottle, Rapunzel cuddled her until she fell asleep once more. Even then, she just held her close. When Eugene came home, he was there with a comforting word and an awkward hug around Missy, who Rapunzel refused to set down.
At the hospital, Eugene stayed in the car with Missy while Rapunzel collected his personal effects. One of the ladies at the hospital gave her a sad smile and a plastic bag which held his clothes and a single piece of paper. She spoke some long string of words that seemed nonsensical. Rapunzel eventually found herself back in her car, clipping her seatbelt with a shuddering sigh.
"Did they say anything?" he asked.
She nodded. "Something about his cancer...liver and then it spread, I think? I-I couldn't make myself focus long enough to hear her out. I'm-...I'm sorry," she bit her lip a little too hard and made it bleed.
He un-clipped his seatbelt and leaned over to hug her. "It's okay, baby girl. I'm so sorry." When he pulled away, he wiped the tears that were cutting harsh channels down her cheeks, blinking away the ones that had threatened to fall down his own face.
"How...how did I miss it? His weight loss...his-everything!" she cried, but then she remembered the baby in the backseat and lowered her voice to a harsh whisper. "Maybe if I'd known, he..I could've gotten him to take treatment, or..."
"Maybe it was too advanced," Eugene shook his head. "You can't blame yourself."
She took a few deep breaths and licked her lips, becoming aware of the stinging blood on her lower one. Glancing down at her lap as she remembered the paper in the plastic bag, she reached inside of it with trembling fingers to extract it.
"What's that?" Eugene asked, glancing in the rear view mirror. He pulled the car's stick shift into reverse and glanced over his shoulder to back out of the parking slot.
Rapunzel's vibrant green eyes flicked over the page, glistening with tears that she blinked away so she could see. Her fingers hovered over her mouth. When she finished, she took a shuddering breath. She could fall apart later. She couldn't be a bawling mess in the car. She could slip out of bed later and curl up on the couch for a good cry tonight.
"He wrote us something." She cleared her throat, trying to cut through the thick emotions clogging and squeezing it, and then she started to read it.
Rapunzel and Eugene,
I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't want this to get in the way. In July of last year, I was diagnosed with cancer. Well, I was given a year to live and the doctors were pretty close to right, which is fine. I didn't want to mess with treatments at first, but after I got to know you, I wanted to but it was too late. I'm okay with it, though. I want you to be as well.
I told you I was on a business trip and then went on vacation, but I obviously didn't. I knew my health was failing and had to stay put in the hospital for the past month and a half or so. I also didn't want anyone to see me like this.
Rapunzel, I'm sorry for everything. There are so many things I should have done. I'm so thankful that I got to know you, though. You're such a beautiful person and I'm so proud of you. I don't want you to be upset or blame yourself for anything. Eugene, I'm grateful to know that my girl's safe in your hands. Thank you. And it'd be appreciated if someone would give Missy Elaine an extra kiss on the cheek for me. I'm blessed to have met her.
Everything is in order. I'm sorry to burden you with the funeral and cleaning the house up. You'll be getting information in the mail about all this within a week, but I've included everything you need to know about the funeral below. Or you can just go up to the house when you have time. The key should be in my wallet and the safe is underneath my bed. That's where everything's kept.
Well, I'd like to wrap this up with a nice little bow, but I don't know how, really. I'm sorry and I love you and your little family so very much. I'm thankful that you included me in your life. I want you to know that because of that, you've helped me achieve my only life goal - or dream, as you'd say. So don't sit around and mope or be sad. Live your dreams. There's so much out there, baby girl.
I love you so much.
Dad
Late that night, Rapunzel slipped out of bed and padded downstairs to the couch so she could cry. Sleep didn't visit her. All she could think of was that her daddy had died alone in the hospital and she hadn't even known. She should have figured it out. Should have pressed him about his health. But would it have helped? She felt so lost. She didn't even know how she could feel so desperately alone when she'd known him for less than a year. But Charles was her father, the one she'd longed to know for over a decade! How could he have been taken away from her so soon, so harshly? She curled up in a ball underneath a blanket despite the overly-warm, early June air. It was something she'd always done as a little kid - she felt like she could hide from the world. This time, though, it didn't help anything. When she heard footsteps creaking down the stairs, she held her breath and curbed her sniffling sobs, falling dead silent. For some reason, she thought she could escape a conversation with Eugene about this if she fell quiet. Not like he wouldn't have noticed her absence, anyway, she thought.
"Sweetheart, you don't have to go through this alone." She felt the couch depress with his weight beside her, so she sighed and pushed her blanket away.
"I didn't want to wake you," she pulled her knees up to her chin. "Sorry."
"You didn't," he shook his head and pushed aside a yawn that rose up in his throat. "I just woke up and wondered what you were up to. I'm sorry, sweetheart. I wish I could do something to help you. Want to talk about it?"
She rubbed her nose. "I don't know. I don't even know why I'm so upset. I've only known him for less than a year."
"But you loved him - he was your dad, for goodness' sake. No matter how long you knew him, you're gonna miss him. And that's okay." Eugene set his hand on her shoulder, and she nodded silently.
"I guess. But...how could he be gone just...just so fast? It just...I guess it was because he didn't tell us, but..."
"But if he would've told us, it would've been like this for the entire time we knew him," he said softly. She agreed, and they both fell silent, not knowing quite what to say and their hearts aching. He pulled her to his side for a few minutes, but then she mentioned going back upstairs before Missy woke up for her next feeding.
"Okay. Don't be afraid to wake me if you need someone, okay?" he said.
She nodded as they rounded the top of the stairs, her tone hushed so she wouldn't wake Missy. "Okay. How are you holding up?"
He shrugged. "I just feel like I'm in a fog and nothing makes sense, really, and...I'm just waiting for us to wake up and he'll be back for supper."
Rapunzel bit her lip. "Yeah," she breathed. She reached to hug him, and he placed a few kisses in her hair.
Missy whimpered quietly, and Rapunzel pulled out of his embrace. "C'mere, sweetie. Are you hungry, or do you want a hug too?" she asked, hurrying to scoop the child out of the crib. Eugene flipped on the light and padded downstairs to get a bottle made up. Rapunzel kissed her cheeks and the little one smiled, completely content with a cuddle for a moment. It was fine by Rapunzel.
