Thanks for your patience guys! This is going to be a crazy week, and I'm completely off my regular routine! Next week is my spring break so hopefully I can write to my little heart's content! :) ENJOY!

Side note: I'm going to ask you to keep an open mind about the confrontations. These may seem OC, but I believe that tragedy changes people and that's going to be a reoccurring theme in the first part of this story. So, bear with me, I promise the animosity and hatred won't last forever! :)

Chapter 5

Bellamy woke to something tapping him on the leg. He opened his eyes, the blurry orbs slowly focusing on the little boy standing before him. Bryce's hair was tousled from sleep, and he was rubbing one of his eyes with a tiny fist.

The boy crawled up in his lap, curling against his chest. One of the small hands gripped his shirt, and the other rubbed up and down his arm. The child's eyes began to close, his young voice sounding drowsy when he spoke.

"Bewamy, can we go see Momma?"

Bellamy wrapped his arms around the little guy, knowing he must miss Clarke terribly. He began to rock back and forth slowly, feeling the boy slouch against him with his eyes closed and breathing even.

Bryce was back asleep in no time, tucked back into bed safely. Bellamy had sent for Octavia, asking her to stay with the little boy while he went to check on Clarke. He wasn't happy with his sister, but she was the only person he knew to ask.

He made his way down the empty halls, winding his way to med bay. When he entered, he found Abby asleep in the chair beside Clarke's bed and Lincoln pouring a strange green liquid into the blonde's mouth.

Bellamy watching as Lincoln gently stroked Clarke's throat, urging her to swallow. When the grounder was finished, the dark haired man approached.

"How is she", he asked hesitantly.

"The herbs are beginning to take affect. It will be a long road, but I believe she will recover."

Bellamy let out the breath he hadn't known he'd been holding, his gaze moving to the blonde's angelic features. He reached out, taking one of her hands in his own, gently stroking the pulse point in her wrist.

"I can't lose her", he said quietly.

"I know", a voice answered behind him.

Abby got up, looking down at her daughter as she spoke.

"I'm going to go and get some sleep. Why don't you stay with her."

Bellamy nodded and watched as the woman left the room. He took the chair she'd occupied, moving it closer to the bed because he couldn't stand the gap between them.

He noticed Lincoln leave, his loud footfalls echoing in the quiet room. He took Clarke's hand in his own, toying with her delicate fingers. His eyes roved over every scar that marred her light skin, and his thumb swept over the many callouses.

Bellamy was suddenly struck by how tired he was, laying his head against the mattress and closing his eyes. Just being near her brought him comfort, brought peace to his troubled heart.

He didn't know how long he slept, but he was awakened when he felt a gentle caress. He lay there enjoying the feel of her fingers in his hair, the way her nails scraped his scalp in a soothing massage.

Bellamy raised his head, finding Clarke awake and smiling.

"Hey", she croaked, her voice rusty from disuse.

"Hey, Princess", he smiled, "How are you feeling?"

"Like the ARK fell on me", she answered with a wince as she shifted.

"Lincoln said the herbs he's given you are starting to take affect, so you should be good as new really soon."

Clarke nodded, her eyes suddenly going wide. "Where's Bryce", she asked frantically.

"He's with Octavia. I thought he should sleep a little longer. If you're still feeling well enough this after noon I'll bring him in for a visit."

"Thanks for taking care of him, Bell."

"Your welcome, Princess. Now sleep", Bellamy ordered, gently sweeping the tangled mess of blonde curls from her forehead.

Clarke readily complied, closing her eyes and drifting off.

Clarke woke with a start. She was in a strange room, the walls made of rough-hewn lumber and handmade furniture strewn about. She jerked when a deep, rumbling sound came from the bed to her right.

She looked down finding a very human shape resting beside her. After her eyes adjusted to the dim light, she noticed the mop of dark curls. Then the shape rolled towards her.

Bellamy's eyes were closed in sleep, and his features relaxed. His freckles stood out even in the shadows cast across his face. He mumbled something incoherent, slinging one of his arms across her middle.

Clarke didn't know how they'd gotten there, she dressed in a soft cotton nightgown and he, she hoped, wearing a pair of pajama bottoms.

"Bell", she whispered, having to repeat herself when he didn't stir.

After her second attempt his dark eyes finally opened, blurry and unfocused. His brow furrowed and she was sure he would shoot up and out of the bed at any moment. Instead he pulled her closer, burying his face against her neck.

She shivered as his breath ghosted across her skin when he spoke.

"Go back to sleep, Princess", he mumbled.

"No, Bell. Where are we", Clarke asked in confusion.

"We're home."

"Like, the home we have together", she asked, feeling her face heat.

"Yep, together", Bellamy said, kissing her neck.

"Where's Bryce?"

"In his room", the dark haired man answered sleepily, "Please go back to sleep, Princess. I've got to be up early for cadet training."

Clarke quieted, rolling towards him so she could watch him sleep. This felt so real, but it was something she would never have- wouldn't allow herself to have.

Clarke woke suddenly, her eyes opening to find she was in the med bay and Bellamy was sitting beside her with his nose stuck in a book. He looked up, his dark eyes peering over the top of the tome.

"Hey, sleeping beauty", he said with a grin.

"What time is it?"

"About two, why?"

"Can I see Bryce", she asked, her eyes pleading.

Bellamy stared at her for a moment, not sure if bringing a rambunctious little boy in to wallow all over her was the wisest thing to do.

"Please Bell."

Her pleading tone melted his earlier resolve. He rose from his seat, and came to stand beside her. He took her hand in his, squeezing it gently as he spoke.

"You promise to tell me when you get tired."

"I promise", she answered.

"Alright, then I think something can be arranged", he grinned.

Bellamy walked out of the infirmary and headed to his quarters. He found Bryce talking to Lincoln, the little boy waving his arms animatedly as he spoke.

"Momma caught one this big", he said, his little arms spread wide.

The Rebel leaned in the doorway, observing his sister and the Grounder both of hanging on the little boy's every word. Then Bryce turned, a wide grin curving his lips, "Bewamy", he cried.

"Hey there little man", Bellamy said as he took the child in his arms.

"I was telling O and Linc a story", Bryce babbled.

"I heard, but there's someone who really wants to see you."

Bryce's eyes widened, "Momma?"

"Yes, Momma. First though, you and I have to have a little chat", Bellamy said as he sat on the bed with the little boy in his lap, "Momma is still very sick, and we have to be gentle with her, ok."

"Ok, Bewamy", the little boy said with a nod.

"Alright, let's go see your Momma."

Clarke was sitting up in bed talking to Raven. The other girl had come in a short while ago with Wick on her heels, and now the two were regaling her with tales of their work.

She could tell that the two were a lot like she and Bellamy, fighting constantly to hide their true feelings. However, Raven and Wick were very different in that they'd outwardly admitted those feelings and were no longer denying them.

"And then I hit him with a transistor", Raven said proudly.

Clarke smiled at her friend, but her attention was drawn to the doorway. There, larger than life, was Bellamy Blake holding her little boy as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Bryce wiggled, his excitement ebbing slightly when he saw the unknown visitors. Bellamy brought him forward, sitting him carefully on the side of the bed. The little boy smiled at her, taking her hand in both of his own.

"I misseded you Momma."

"I missed you too, sweetheart", Clarke said before pulling the little boy to her.

He snuggled against her side, his little fingers playing with a few strands of her hair. His dark eyes darted to where Raven and Wick stood, his expression serious.

"So, this must be the surprise you were talking about", Raven said as she stepped closer.

The little boy in Clarke's arms was adorable. There was no way about it; the kid had the two camp leaders wrapped around his little fingers. Looking back and forth, Raven had to admit that the three of them almost looked like a family.

Bryce had Clarke's serious nature, and Bellamy's looks. The mechanic couldn't believe how the boy favored the Rebel. They both had the same silky black curls, and dark expressive eyes.

It was plain to see why Clarke was so drawn to the boy, knowing what Raven did about the feelings the blonde harbored for the eldest Blake. She could see the way they looked at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking. They were stubborn, but she hoped they would get their act together.

"Who's that, Momma", Bryce asked breaking through Raven's thoughts.

"This is Raven and Wick", Clarke answered her son.

The look on his little face as he studied the strangers was comical, and Clarke found herself smirking at Bellamy over Bryce's head. The boy's nose was scrunched in concentration, and his dark eyes shone with curiosity.

"I like them", he said suddenly.

"Well, I'm very glad", Clarke said with a chuckle.

"Bewamy, do you like them?"

"Yeah, I do buddy", Bellamy answered.

"Ok, I like them too."

Clarke rolled her eyes. She could already tell that Bryce was attached to Bellamy, but the hero worship was a bit much. She caught Bellamy's gaze, and the pride shining in his brown eyes was enough to bring a smile to her face.

However, her smile was short lived. She looked up in enough time to see Jasper enter the room, a scowl darkening his features. She watched as Raven and Wick quickly left the room, throwing sympathetic glances over their shoulders as they exited.

"I'll give you two a minute", Bellamy said reaching for Bryce.

Clarke stared at her hands; her chipped nails and work roughened palms. She heard Jasper approach, anger radiating off him in scalding waves. She looked up, unprepared for the animosity that hovered in his dark eyes.

"If you'd just waited a few more minutes, she would still be here", he began quietly.

"Jasper, I couldn't afford to wait", Clarke explained.

"You could have done whatever the heck you wanted! That was your choice, and you chose to kill them!"

Clarke felt the guilt rising within her, weighing on her chest and making it difficult to breath. Her hands began to tremble, and her eyes burned with unshed tears.

"I did what I…"

"Don't you dare say you did what you had to do! There's always a choice, Clarke!"

"I'm sorry, Jasper", Clarke whispered.

"No, you're not! You're not the one who will never get to watch the sunrise with your love in your arms, never raise children with them, never grow old with them", he ground out harshly.

Clarke bowed her head, tears streaming down her cheeks, "I know you hate me for what I did, and I never expect you to understand my reasoning. I don't even understand it, but know this- not a day goes by that I don't feel the guilt of what I've done. That will be with me until the day I die."

"Maya didn't deserve to die! She did everything she could to help us, and you killed her. I will never forgive you for what you've done, and there will never be a day that I don't wish that you had died in her place", Jasper said before turning on his heel and walking away.

Clarke sat in silence for a moment, her tears falling slowly down her cheeks. Then it began to sink in, it was true what Jasper said. She didn't deserve to live; she didn't deserve the love of a man like Bellamy. Nor did she deserve to raise a wonderful little boy like Bryce.

However, Bryce was her responsibility. One she didn't intend to take lightly. He needed her, and she needed him. She wouldn't taint him with her darkness, she would shove that part of herself deep inside- locking it away where no one would see it.

Bellamy was more difficult. She knew she could do nothing about her feelings for him, but there was something she could do about his feelings for her. There was a thin line between love and hate. All she had to do was tip the scale, bringing back his hatred.

She knew it would tear her heart apart, but it was for his own good. She would shove him away, never allowing herself the luxury of being loved by a man like Bellamy Blake.

Bellamy had just come back for leaving Bryce with Octavia and Lincoln, when he heard Jasper yelling at Clarke. He listened; hearing how Jasper wished Clarke had died instead of Maya. The thought left Bellamy sick.

He waited just outside the med bay, hands fisted at his sides, until Jasper came out. He grabbed him, dragging him down the hallway into one of the empty meeting rooms.

Bellamy paced before him, his anger growing until he was sure he would burst. Why couldn't they all see? She was a child! She'd done the only thing she'd known to do, and had saved them all in the process.

They couldn't see the toll it'd taken on her, but he could. He saw every ounce of pain she tried so desperately to hide. He wasn't about to sit back while people sought to destroy her in the name of their own grief and suffering.

"What was that", Bellamy growled when he finally stopped his pacing.

"The truth", Jasper spat.

"The truth? You want the truth? She sold her innocence at too high a price, fighting every moment to save this camp. She did things that will eat away at her very soul just so that you can all live happy, guiltless lives.

"The truth, Jasper, is that we try to justify our actions, telling ourselves she deserves the pain we lay at her doorstep for the horrendous things she's done, but the truth is that we're too afraid to bear that burden ourselves.

"The truth, is that that burden is a heavy one to bear and Clarke is struggling. She's given her strength away to you, to me, to this whole camp, and what do we do? We just keep taking! She walked for four days to get here because she wanted Bryce to be safe, even if it meant returning to ridicule and hatred.

"The truth, Jasper, is that we don't deserve her! She's given up everything and we have the audacity to tell her that it wasn't enough- that she should have done more. You expect her to give her life, well stop because I will never let that happen. If you want to stand there, blaming her for Maya's death, that's fine. Just don't say anything to her, keep your hatred to yourself. Poison your own heart, but leave hers alone. She's suffered enough without you adding to it", Bellamy finished finally.

When he looked at Jasper, he found the younger man's head hanging in shame and tears cascading down his cheeks.

"I can't forgive her", he whispered.

"You can refuse her forgiveness, but don't add to her burden. Don't give her one more reason to give up, to quit living."

Jasper looked at him then, horror written across his features. "You don't think she'll…"

"No, I don't. She'll torture herself for the rest of her days unless I can get through to her, but you can't spew fire at her and not expect her to burn, Jasper", Bellamy said quietly.

The Rebel watched as Jasper nodded and then walked away. He turned on his heel, his anger slowly subsiding. He would protect Clarke, even if it meant taking on half the camp. He was through letting them blame her for things that weren't entirely her fault just to appease their anger.

When he made it back to the infirmary he found her sobbing into her pillow, her thin frame shaking and the muffled sound of her grief echoing in the quiet room. He drew near, placing a gentle hand on her back.

When she looked up, her liquid blue eyes were filled with sorrow and guilt.

"He was right. Maya only wanted to help, she was selfless and I'm…"

"Clarke", Bellamy interrupted, "You weren't the only one to pull that lever, but even if you had been Maya's death was not your fault. It was Cage's. We gave him time to surrender; an opportunity to back down, and he didn't take it. Those lives are on him, not you."

"I can't do it anymore, Bell. I can't keep acting like their words don't affect me, like I deserve their hatred", Clarke wept.

Bellamy pulled Clare to him, gently wrapping his arms around her.

"Shhh", he soothed, "If forgiveness is what you need, then Princess I forgive you."

He felt her relax in his embrace as he used the same words he'd used the day she'd fled.

"Just rest, Princess. Focus on getting well, and leave the rest to me."

Thanks for reading! Please leave a review if you've got time! I love hearing from y'all! It really makes my day! :)

Wright: Thanks for the review! Octavia is going to come around, so never fear! The whole Lexa debacle is going to come up soon, and I can't wait to see how our favorite couple handles that one! Bryce and Bellamy interaction is adorable, and so much fun to write! I think it's fun to see Bellamy soften with the little boy, losing his gruff exterior. Lincoln definitely came through! I'll be anxious to hear your thoughts on the latest update! Thanks again for your support! :)

To my other guest reviewers! Thank you for the reviews! You guys don't know how much it means to me to read your kind words, and the encouragement I get from them! Y'all are completely and totally amazing! Thank you for your support of my story, and I hope to hear from you again about the latest update!