Chapter 15: How to deal with fear

1 month and 4 days until deadline

Jess walked out of the elevator and made her way towards Connors office. Tommy had been acting strange ever since they got back from their camping and bungee jumping experience and Jess had no idea why. She had asked him but he kept insisting nothing was wrong. She needed answers and if Tommy wasn't going to give her them, then she knew Connor would.

She spotted Jenna at her desk and smiled warmly.

"Jess it's good to see you." Jenna said standing up from her desk.

Jenna walked round her desk and hugged Jess.

"You too." Jess replied honestly.

While she was here she could asked Jenna about coming out with them tomorrow night.

"What can I do for you?" Jenna asked.

"Two things really." Jess stated slowly.

Jenna raised her eyebrows and waited for her to continue.

"First Sara and I were wondering if you wanted to join us on a girl's night out tomorrow night. I know its late notice and a week day but its Sara's only night off and I would really love it if you could come with us." Jess told her taking a huge breath when she was finished.

Jenna laughed.

"I would love too." she replied.

Jenna bent down and scribbled something on a bit of paper.

"Just text me the details." Jenna added.

Jess smiled.

"Great." She replied.

"So what was the other thing?" Jenna asked.

Jess looked over at Connor through the glass of his office walls. He was in deep concentration as he looked over something at his desk.

"I was hoping I could have a quick word with Connor." Jess told her honestly.

Jenna sighed and she walked back round her desk.

"He doesn't really have the time." Jenna said slowly. Jenna looked over at Connor and a sad smile formed on her face.

"But he hasn't stopped since he got here and I think a break would be good for him." Jenna added.

Jenna really did take good care of Connor.

"Thank you Jenna." Jess told her.

Jenna smiled and nodded towards Connors door for her to go in.


Connor's head shot up as he heard the knock on the door. Jenna never knocked which meant it had to be someone else.

He stood up surprised to find Jess smiling at him from behind the glass. He waved her in.

She walked in and Connor met her half way. He gathered her into his arms and hugged her.

"Hey Jess everything ok?" He asked her.

It was unusual for her to visit him.

Jess smiled at him.

"Can't I just come to say hello?" she asked.

Connor raised his eyebrows.

"You can but you don't." He argued.

Jess frowned.

"Well from now were going to change that and once a week we going to go to lunch together." she told him adamantly.

Connor laughed.

"Sure why not." he replied. He was pretty sure she was going to be his sister-in-law one day so it was time he got used to her being around a lot more than normal.

Jess smiled.

"Good." she said.

"And we will start that next week but right now you are going to tell me what is going on in the arrow world that has gone Tommy so worked up." she ordered.

Connor sighed. He should have been expecting this. Jess was perceptive and Tommy was so terrified that something was going to happen to someone they cared about he was constantly on edge.

"We're working on it Jess." He promised her.

"Not good enough, what's going on?" She replied.

If Tommy hadn't told her maybe his brother didn't want her to know.

"Ask Tommy Jess." Connor ordered, he did not want to get between the two of them.

"I did, but he just keeps saying nothing's wrong but I know he's lying." Jess replied, clearly it really bothered her.

"And Tommy has never lied to me unless he believes it's to protect me so I'm asking you Connor what does Tommy think he needs to protect me from?" She begged.

Connor took a frustrated breath. She had a point. Tommy wasn't telling her because it thought he was protecting her. But maybe she deserved to know. After all if Check was going to come after them for revenge Jess would be a likely candidate for him to go after.

"Did Tommy tell you about the man that got away a couple of weeks back?" Connor asked and Jess nodded.

"We took apart his organisation and his younger brother got arrested in the process. Last weekend Andy took down someone who told him that Check the man that got away is back and he is looking for revenge." Connor explained.

Jess took a deep breath.

"I take it that by Tommy's behaviour that it's not just a rumour." Jess replied and Connor nodded.

"Jess. Tommy is on edge because he is worried that Check is going to hurt someone we care about in his revenge." Connor told her honestly.

"Ok." She whispered.

She walked towards him.

"Thank you for tell me." she said as she leant up and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"I am going to talk to your brother but I am serious about doing lunch once a week." Jess told him.

Connor smiled he liked that idea.

He walked Jess to the door.

"Sounds good to me." He said.

He opened the door of his office.

"I'll see you soon." Jess told him. She then looked over at Jenna.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Jess said to Jenna and Jenna nodded.

Connor looked over at Jenna in question as Jess walked away calling goodbye over her shoulder.

"What's happening tomorrow night?" Connor asked Jenna.

"She asked me if I wanted to go out with her and Sara." Jenna told him.

"And you said yes?" he questioned in surprised.

"I like Jess she's fun to be around and I promise I won't be late to work." Jenna reasoned.

Connor shook his head. He didn't mean to make her feel bad if anything he was glad she would be having fun.

"Take the day off, whatever you need." he said.

"Just make sure you have fun." he ordered.


Tommy whipped a hand over his face as he paced the foundry. He didn't know what else to do. Check was back and he was looking for a way to hurt him and his team one way or another.

They had been searching for him for days but they kept coming up empty. Every lead always lead to nothing and Tommy had no idea what to do next. He was the Arrow he was meant to lead his team and yet he had no idea what to do next. Not to mention that all the people he cared about would be at risk if Check found out who he was.

"I can't let that happen." Tommy mumbled to himself.

Tommy looked down at his watch. He had a couple more hours before he would need to go and get Jess to bring her to work. He did not like the idea of her going anywhere alone right now. He had warned his dad and his uncles but he didn't want to worry too many people because they were going to find Check and they were going to stop him once and for all. He just wasn't sure how yet.

"I knew I would find you down here." Jess voice called out starling Tommy from his thoughts.

His head spun round with such force he was pretty sure he could have whiplash.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He demanded. She was meant to be at home safe.

Jess sighed as she made her way towards him.

"You should have told me." She said.

Tommy frowned. What was she talking about?

"That you was worried that someone was going to come after me." Jess said slowly. She stopped inches from him.

"Who told you?" he asked defeated. He didn't tell her because he never wanted her to worry.

She smiled at him sadly.

"Connor but don't get mad I kind of bullied him into it." Jess reasoned.

Tommy shook his head. He would deal with Connor later.

"I didn't want to worry you." he said answering her earlier question.

Jess stepped forward. She was within touching distance but she never moved to touch him and Tommy had to force himself to do the same.

"That's not how we are going to work." She told him.

She met his eyes.

"I know that being with you could mean someone looking to hurt me to get to you and I have accepted that but I have this horrible feeling that you haven't." She whispered.

Tommy cringed at the thought of her being in danger because of him. It had crossed his mind but he had always pushed it away because the thought of Jess being hurt tore him apart.

Jess step forward and lifted her hand to his chest. His hand instantly covered hers.

"I want to be with you Tommy more than anything but I won't..." Jess started. She stopped, her eyes filled with tears. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"I won't live my life in fear and I don't want you to either." She told him.

Tommy swallowed hard. He knew what was coming. Jess opened her eyes and gave him a sad smile.

"I need to you to decide if you can deal with you fear of someone hurting me to get to you or you have to let me go." She told him.

Tears filled his own eyes. He didn't want to let her go but Check had brought his fear of losing her so high that he wasn't so sure he could let go of it.

"I don't know." he whispered honestly.

A sob escaped Jess throat and Tommy closed his eyes. He hated this. He cupped her face and whipped away her tears with his thumb. Jess leant into his hand.

"I need you to figure it out because I'm already half in love with you and I don't know if I'm strong enough to get over you now let alone later when I know I'll love you." She told him.

Tommy heart pounded in his chest.

"Jess..." He whispered. He had no idea what to say and he couldn't lie to her.

She smiled at him sadly before pressing a kiss into his hand.

"Come find me when you figure it out." she told him.

Tommy nodded and he reluctantly let her go. Tommy watched her climb the steps. She stopped when she reached the top and looked down at him.

"No matter what you decided Tommy, you will never lose me." She promised before she disappeared from his sight.


Sara froze the moment she read the text.

Please check on Jess for me. T xx

Something was wrong.

What did you do? S

If Tommy had done something to hurt Jess she was going to kill him.

"Is everything ok?" Clay asked.

Sara shook her head. They were meant to be having a date night but it sounded like Jess needed her and she wasn't about to let her best friend down.

She looked at Clay and kissed him quickly.

"I'm sorry I have to go." Sara told him.

She stood up and looked around for her bag.

"What now?" Clay demanded.

Sara froze and looked over at him.

"My friend needs me and if that's going to be problem for you then maybe you are not the man I thought you were." She said and before he could reply she walked out his door.

If she and Clay were meant to be then he would make it happen.

When Sara arrived home she found Jess on the sofa huddled in Tommy's sweatshirt crying her heart out. Sara dropped her bag before making her way over to Jess and pulling her into her arms.

"I'm going to kill him." Sara promised.

Jess shook her head against Sara's chest.

"He did nothing wrong." she sobbed.

Sara pulled back and looked at Jess doubtfully.

"Then why are you crying?" Sara demanded.

Jess told her all about Check and Tommy's fears.

"What he can deal with his fear?" Jess asked tears strolling down her face.

"He will." Sara promised. He had too because Sara wasn't so sure losing Tommy was something Jess could get over.


Oliver rushed down the stairs when the banging grew louder and more desperate. Something was wrong. He swung the front door opened and froze when he saw his youngest son standing there his shoulders hunched forward. His head down. Tommy looked so lost.

"What's wrong?" Oliver asked pulling his son into the house. Tommy stalked into the living room and Oliver followed.

"I need to know how you did it." Tommy said desperately. He begun pacing the living room.

Oliver frowned.

"Did what?" Oliver asked.

"Get over your fear of losing mum." Tommy told him.

Oliver sighed this had to be about Jess he was sure of it.

"Sit down." Oliver ordered his son.

Tommy stopped pacing and dropped himself on to the sofa.

"Tell me what happened?" Oliver suggested.

"She said I have to decide whether I can deal with my fear of losing her or let her go." Tommy told him.

Tommy leant forward and grabbed his dad's hand.

"I can't let her go dad so I am begging you to tell me how you let go of the fear." Tommy begged.

Oliver sighed he knew exactly how his son felt. Check looking for revenge was showing Tommy exactly what he was risking in being with Jess.

"Jess isn't asking you to let go of the fear Tommy she is asking you to control it, which is a good thing because that terrifying feeling that something bad is going to happen to her just because you love her is never going to go away." Oliver told his son honestly.

Tommy looked at him confused at how this was helping him. But Oliver knew the best way to help his son was to tell him the truth.

"This is not going to be the last time you're going to feel like this not while you're the arrow, not by a long shot. But if you want to be with Jess then you have to learn to control your fear." Oliver informed Tommy.

"I'm not sure I can." Tommy replied.

Oliver nodded he had thought the same thing when it came to Felicity.

"You can because you love her." His wife voice told their son.

Oliver wondered how long it would take for her to come down the stairs.

"Up until recently all I did was sleep around how can you be so sure that I love her?" Tommy argued.

Felicity smiled as she walked towards their son.

"If you didn't you wouldn't be here at midnight demanding to know how to stop your fear." Felicity point out.

Tommy remained silent and Felicity sighed. She took a seat next to Oliver and he couldn't help but wrap his arms round her.

"Look at it this way." Felicity suggested.

"If you let her go she is eventually going to find someone else. Are you going to be ok with watching her get married, watching her carry someone else child?" Felicity asked.

Oliver could see in his son's eyes that Felicity words reached him. Their son shook his head.

"How do I control my fears?" Tommy asked determination laced his voice.

Oliver smiled. Tommy was just like him and hopefully Tommy and Jess could be as happy as he had Felicity were.


Jess tried to sleep she really did but her mind was too full. What if she lost Tommy for good?

Jess shook her head. She had cried so much already she wouldn't cry anymore and no matter what Tommy decided she had to find a way to accept his decision and move on.

Her phone beeped, shaking her from her thoughts. Jess dived for her phone.

Are you awake? T xx

Jess heartbeat increased.

Yes. J xx

Let me in. T xx

Jess shook her head. She wasn't sure that was a good idea. She wasn't ready for him to break her heart just yet.

No. J xx

Dam it Jess open this dam do or I swear to god I will break it open. T

She knew he was serious when he left off the kisses. Jess stood on wobbly legs and made her way towards the front door quietly so she wouldn't wake Sara.

She reached the door and took a deep breath.

"You can do this." she whispered in reassurance to herself before pulling the door open.

Tommy eyes met her as she opened the door. He looked tired but his eyes were determined. He stepped forward making her step back. He closed the door behind him.

"I will never stop being afraid of losing you." Tommy told her and Jess heart broke into a million pieces.

Tears welled in her eyes.

"But letting you go is not an option either." Tommy added and Jess's head shot up in hope to meet his eyes.

"It's going to be dam hard and we are going to fight about so many things but I love you Jessica Harper and I will do anything to keep you." He told her.

Jess moved then jumping into his arms, Tommy staggered back a little but held on to her tightly.

"I love you too." she gasped before kissing every part of his face she could reach. His eyes, his cheeks, his nose and then finally his lips.

They had so much they needed to talk about but that could all wait because right now she was done waiting.

She gazed down at him.

"I'm tired of waiting Tommy." She told him.


Tommy met her eyes. Her eyes were full with such love, such certainty. He set how down slowly, her body sliding down his slowly. He cupped her face with his left hand and she leant into his touch.

"Are you sure?" He asked her. He had to be sure.

Jess nodded.

"I have never been surer of anything in my entire life." she told him and Tommy could see no doubt in her eyes.

He lowered his head to hers. Her face turned up to meet him half way and their lips met in a slow passionate kiss.

There was no going back, not now not ever. He loved her and she loved him and it would last till they took their last breath he was sure of it.

He kissed her with everything he had and she returned in equal favour. Her hands slid down his chest and pulled at his shirt removing it from his trousers so she could get to the buttons.

Jess moaned as he began kissing down her neck but it didn't stop her hands from undoing each button.

God he loved the sounds she made, each and every one of them made him feel like he was going to cum any minute. He turned them round pushing her against the breakfast table.

She gasped as she felt how badly his body wanted her and Tommy had to kiss her again.

When she undid the last button Jess wasted no time in pulling it from his body.

"You are so dam hot." she whispered after she pulled away breathless and Tommy couldn't help but chuckle.

"What about you?" He replied, trailing his fingers down her sides. He felt her shiver in pleasure as his fingers reached the bottom of her shirt. He slowly pulled it up over her head waiting to take his time and remember every detail. When her shirt was removed Tommy couldn't help but stare at her lacy dark green bra. She was wearing his colour.

"Green seems to be my favour colour these days." she told him biting her lip.

Tommy shook his head. She knew what that would do to him.

He pulled her against him, letting his hands travel down her incredible arse before lifting her in one shift motion and placing her on the breakfast table.

"Sara will not be happy if we have sex on the kitchen counter." Jess mumbled.

"I don't care." He replied honestly. He was done waiting and he had to have her. Had to taste her. Beside he had plans before he made love to her.

He pulled down her trouser revealing her matching knickers. God she was so dam hot.


Jess had no idea what to do when Tommy lowered himself so his face was level with her centre. She had sex a number of times with a number of different men but none of them had taken the time to love her the way Tommy was clearly going to.

All thoughts whipped from her mind as Tommy slowly pulled her knickers down her legs. When he discarded her knickers leaving her in nothing but a bra, his mouth pressed hot kisses all up the inside of her legs until his mouth was on her.

Jess moaned in complete and utter pleasure as he tongue slide between her folds already wet from how badly she wanted him. He moved his head causing her to gasp and he moved deeper.

His tongue was doing things to her that she had only read about in books. She didn't believe it could get any better until suddenly his thumb pressed into her clit.

Jess gripped on to his hair as her orgasm took her and she couldn't help but call out his name.

She felt him chuckle as he begun to kiss his way up her body.

"Dam that was hot." he mumbled as he reached her lips.

He kissed her and she could taste herself on him.

She really wanted to return the favour but they couldn't risk Sara waking up and finding them like this.

She wrapped her achy legs round his waist as he kissed her.

"Take me to bed." she ordered.

Tommy picked her up easily and carried her towards her bedroom his lips never leaving her lips or her neck. She was really starting to like being carried around by him.

He placed her down in her room and shut the door behind them and Jess wasted no time in pulling at his belt and unzipping his trousers so they fell to his feet. She went to lowered herself to repay the favour but Tommy stopped her.

She looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Not tonight." he told her.

"Tonight I want to make love to you." He told her and her heart sawed.

She leant up to kiss him and he met her half way. She step backwards and he followed her until the backs of her legs hit the bed. She crawled up her bed bring Tommy with her.

"Condom?" He asked.

Jess shook her head. The very day they got back from the beach Jess went to her doctor to be put on the pill.

"I'm on the pill." she breathed before kissing him again.

Tommy kissed her neck and gently opened her legs before settling himself between them.

"God I love you." He whispered as he slowly lined himself up and entered her.

Jess gasped. She had never had someone as big as Tommy inside her before.

"Are you ok?" Tommy asked concerned he had hurt her.

Jess smiled and nodded.

"I'm more than that." she told him once her body had adjusted to his size.

He moved then slowly in and out and back again. He pressed deliciously hard as he lent down to kiss her.

This was more than just sex, this was making love.

Their hands met above her head as they continued to make love and when they finally came it was each other's names on their lips.