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Chapter 6

Clarke was going stir crazy stuck in med bay. She'd been there for a week, and thankfully she had begun to recover. She was still weak, but she could feel her strength returning.

The room was empty and quiet as she stared up at the ceiling, trying her best to think of something that would alleviate her boredom. Her mind wandered to a certain dark haired Rebel, and she fought to push his image away.

She loved Bellamy; she had stopped ignoring the fact long ago. However, she could never tell him. He didn't deserve to be weighted down by a woman who'd either killed or estranged everyone she loved.

She couldn't shake the dreadful fear that something would happen to Bryce simply because he was important to her. She'd lost so many people, either in death or because of her decisions, that the thought of losing another broke her heart.

Clarke sat up, unable to deal with the depressing thoughts that floated in and out of her mind like ghosts, taunting her. She swung her legs over the side of the cot, her feet touching the cold metal floor.

She stood on shaky legs before making her way to the stack of clothes in a nearby chair. She dressed quickly, sitting down to pull on her boots. She ran a hand through her tangled hair, refusing to think of how she must look.

She made her way from the room, strolling aimlessly down the long hallway until she reached the outside. The sun was warm on her face, and the air smelled fresh and clean.

Clarke began to walk, knowing she should be resting but unable to stop her wandering feet as they carried her about camp. She soon found herself standing before Raven and Wick's workshop, hesitant to enter.

She didn't want to disturb them, but she was quickly finding that her little stroll had tired her more than she cared to admit. She finally decided to throw caution to the wind, stepping into the dim interior.

Raven turned from her workbench when she heard footsteps, finding Clarke leaning against the doorframe with a tired smile.

"What are you doing out and about", the mechanic said as she rushed to help her friend into one of the vacant chairs.

"That place is suffocating and I wanted to get out."

"Did you tell anyone where you were going?"

"There was no one there to tell", Clarke said.

Raven rolled her eyes knowing that a certain dark haired Rebel was not going to like the Princess' absence from medical. However, she couldn't begrudge the poor girl some time away from the sterilized prison.

"Fine, but you go back as soon as you're rested", Raven said gruffly.

"Thank you."

Just then Monty entered the room, his arms loaded with paper.

"Raven is Wick… Clarke", he exclaimed.

"Hi, Monty", the blonde said, standing to hug her friend.

Monty's arms wrapped around her gently and she could feel the desperation in his hold.

"I was worried", he said quietly.

"I know. I'm sorry. Why didn't you come see me?"

"I don't know because of Jasper, I guess. He and I are finally speaking again and I didn't want to have another argument about you", Monty answered honestly.

Clarke squeezed his hand then once again took her seat. "I understand, and I don't blame you. Jasper has every right to hate me. You all do", Clarke said hanging her head in shame.

Her two friends shared a meaningful look before Raven spoke.

"Look Clarke, yeah you've done some questionable things but you did it for the 100. You did those things to keep them safe. We don't hate you, Clarke, we love you. The anger and bitterness will fade with time, soon they'll understand."

Clarke simply nodded, agreeing without, but on the inside she was still conflicted. She'd seen the way people looked at her, like she was some kind of wild animal that couldn't be trusted or understood.

In truth she believed them. She didn't trust herself anymore, and she certainly didn't understand why she'd done the things she had. At the moment, she was just tired, bone weary and emotionally trained.

"I think I'd better get back before anyone finds that I'm gone", she said quietly as she rose from her seat.

Clarke had just reached the doorway when she ran into something hard, the force knocking her backwards. She nearly fell, but a pair of strong hands reached out to steady her. She looked up, her gaze colliding with the terrified eyes of Bellamy Blake.

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Bellamy, with Bryce in tow, made his way into the med bay. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw the empty cot and the chair devoid of the clothes that had been left for her.

His mind raced with the possibilities of what could have happened as fear wrapped its icy fingers around his heart. He looked down at the little boy whose hand was clutched tightly in his own. He could raise him on his own!

"Where's Momma", Bryce asked worriedly.

"I don't know, buddy, but I'll find her", the dark haired man answered.

He took the little boy in his arms, rushing to find Octavia. He found her standing on the edge of the training grounds watching as Lincoln helped to train some of the cadets.

"O, will you watch Bryce for a bit", Bellamy asked, coming to a stop beside her.

"Sure", she answered taking the little boy from him, "What's up?"

"Clarke wasn't in med bay, so I'm going to go look for her."

His fright must have registered on his face because Octavia was quick to reassure him.

"I'm sure she's here somewhere. You'll find her in no time", she said with a hopeful smile.

Bellamy simply nodded, not having the cognition to speak or the strength to smile. He set out at a brisk pace, his gaze scanning the camp for any glimpse of blonde hair.

After thirty minutes he was becoming frantic, practically running from place to place. He was just seconds from yelling her name at the top of his lungs when he remembered he hadn't checked Raven and Wick's place yet.

He took off at a quick job, his heart racing. He had no idea what he would do if she weren't there; probably have a panic attack if he was being honest. He felt on the verge on at the moment.

Bellamy ran into the shop, colliding with something or someone. His hands reached out instinctively to steady the person he'd nearly plowed over. His terrified gaze settled on Clarke Griffin, and he felt anger rise in his chest.

"What were you doing", he practically yelled.

"I had to get out of there, I was suffocating", Clarke answered innocently.

"Well you're little excursion scared me to death, bought gave me a heart attack", Bellamy growled.

"I'm sorry", she said quietly.

Bellamy deflated, his anger draining quickly from his body when he saw her contrite expression. She had been doing her best not to make waves, to do and be what everyone expected.

"It's alright, no harm done. Next time you want to get out and about, Princess, tell me and I'll gladly escort you", he said with a tight-lipped smile.

He watched as she sighed, her hands still gripping his forearms. Then her legs buckled and she pitched forward.

"Clarke", Bellamy gasped.

"I'm alright, just tired. I didn't realize how much my 'little excursion' would take out of me", the blonde answered with a weary smile.

Before she could move, Bellamy scooped her up. Settling her firmly against his chest, using his chin to force her head to rest against his neck. Then he turned to Monty and Raven.

"You two drop by tonight. Visitors help with the cabin fever", he said before turning and stalking out.

He carried her back to med bay and settled her back on the cot. He heard footsteps, and turned to find Octavia bringing in Bryce.

"Momma", the little boy yipped.

"Hey sweet boy", Clarke cooed as the boy was settled in her lap.

"Momma, O and I were watching Linc train the carrots!"

Clarke stared at Octavia, who had burst out laughing at the boy's declaration. She and the other girl had mended their fences. They weren't as close as they'd once been, but they were working on it.

"The what", Clarke asked in confusion.

She looked at Bellamy to find him with his hands over his face and his shoulders shaking in silent mirth.

"The carrots", Bryce restated as if he thought the adults had gone crazy.

"I think he means the cadets", Octavia offered in between chortles.

Clarke giggled, and then began to laugh out right, happy tears rolling down her face. The little boy in her arms stared up at her with an expression that clearly said he thought she was insane.

"Oh sweetheart, I think you mean C-A-D-E-T-S", the blonde said, sounding out each letter.

"Cadets", Bryce said, the new word sounding stilted as it rolled off his tongue.

"Good job, buddy", Bellamy praised.

At the older man's praise, the little boy's face lit up with a bright smile. Clarke's laughter faded, her eyes glued to the Rebel king. Would wonders never cease?

She'd never thought she could love the man more, but watching him with her son proved her wrong. Bellamy genuinely cared about Bryce, and it showed. His dark eyes shone with pride when he looked at the small child whose features so favored his own.

Looking at them, it wasn't hard for her to imagine that they were a family- that Bryce truly belonged to her and Bellamy. The thought made her feel safe and warm, like home.

Home was something she could never have, not after everything she'd done. She would give that to Bryce at any cost, but she wouldn't take that for herself. She would see that the little boy never lost his hero, even if it meant she had to love him from afar for the rest of her days.

Clarke decided then and there that she would take enjoy whatever time she was allowed to spend with Bellamy Blake because it was only a matter of time before he moved on. A man like him deserved a home and family, and that was something she had no right to offer.

The thought of him loving someone else made her feel cold all over, stealing the tantalizing warmth she'd felt only moments ago. Her breath hitched in her chest, and tears threatened to spill from her eyes.

She held them back, telling herself she was being selfish. She loved him enough to let him go- loved him enough to want to see him happy even if it meant that happiness was found with another woman.

Bellamy watched as something changed in Clarke's expression. Her features, once open, were now shuttered. Her eyes had lost the spark of laughter, and shadows of sadness now lurked in their depths.

He wondered what thought had triggered such a reaction. He would have said something, but he couldn't with Octavia and Bryce within earshot. He also knew that guarded as she was, he wouldn't get anything out of her.

It scared him how she was erecting walls around her heart. He feared that if he allowed her to continue she would build them so high that he could never hope to scale them.

Bellamy thought back to only a few short months ago when they had shared everything, all of their burdens and fears. Now she kept all of that bottled inside, like she was trying to protect him from herself.

Little did the Princess know, but Bellamy Blake was determined to be the knight in shining armor who slayed the dragon of guilt and rescued her from her tower of self-hatred.

As he stood leaning against one of the cold metal walls of the infirmary, Bellamy began to plan. He'd lost Clarke to herself once, but he wouldn't do it again. If today's little escapade had taught him anything, it was that he was never letting his Princess out of his sight again.

Thanks for reading! Please review and tell me your thoughts!

Wright: Thanks for the review! I'm so glad you enjoyed the last chapter! I'll definitely try to add some Lincoln/Clarke interaction because I think you're right, they would have a strong bond after everything they've been through. I'm glad you like Bryce and Bellamy's relationship! They are so much fun to write, and they paint a very sweet picture! I'm going to try to let Monty get a little more "screen time" lol because I like his character as well. Thanks for the support, and I can't wait to hear your thoughts on the latest update! :)

To all of my other guest reviewers! Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a review! I love hearing from all of you, so it really makes my day! :)