Lady Evie is off to Crestwood, together with her illustrious guest, Anna Hawke. If half of what I hear about Anna Hawke is right—that she sleeps with the rebel mage who started the war, she ate a dragon's heart for dinner once, or she beheaded the Qunari Arishok with a snap of her manicured magical fingers—then she's a downright mess, alright. I wonder what she does to unwind. Does she comfort-eat like Lady Evie, or does she take out her insanities through other means? What if she gets Lady Evie into more trouble?
Bah, Lady Evie can take care of herself. I mustn't allow myself to think otherwise. Besides, I don't think she'll come to any serious harm, not when Seeker Cassandra and the others are taking such good care of her. Heh, Commander Cullen might throw a fit if Lady Evie so much as gets a scratch.
I return to my duties. Whenever Lady Evie's away, I help in the main kitchens preparing food for everyone else. I also have to help Rina in the tavern later, as compensation for teaching me how to fold dough properly to crescents. She must be having a good laugh, too, for teaching the "best cook" in the Inquisition something as simple as croissants.
Lady Evie has asked me to make sure that whenever she's not around, Commander Cullen eats his meals regularly, even if I have to serve him breakfast, lunch and dinner in his office. Because that man tends to forget himself, I get to do that very often.
One night the Commander asks me, "What do you think Evie would like to do, assuming she agrees to go out with me?"
I'm pretty sure the Commander has said it in his most authoritarian tone, but there's also no mistake in his immense blush.
"Oh," I stammer. I haven't really thought about what Lady Evie would like in a date. That'd be just plain weird.
"Well, Chef?" he asks again. "Anything that comes to mind? Or would she prefer we just sit down, eat, and talk?"
"A picnic's not a bad idea," I answer. I don't know what else to tell him, honestly. I'm not in the business of dispensing dating advice. Ser Varric's the expert on stuff like that, if you ask me. "Maybe, ask her to conjure some ice and make a milkshake?"
He hands me a piece of paper, written in a spidery script. By the Maker—
It's Lady Evie's mother's strawberry jam recipe! It has to be!
"Lady Josephine said that you asked about her family's recipes," the Commander explains. As if he needs to explain anything to a mere servant, but this is amusing. He rubs the base of his neck. "The Trevelyan family is pleased, of course, pleased with what Lady Evelyn is doing, but, ah…"
I really have got to work on suppressing my guffaws. Particularly because Commander Cullen and I are not really friends. But is it my fault that he blushes like crazy whenever he's talking about Lady Evie?
"I'm sure you'll find the necessary ingredients easily, Chef," he says in his big Commander voice. "Please bring me a sample of this jam as soon as you can. And if it's properly done, I'll ask for a jar or two of it, to be ready four days from now. As well as some fresh croissant. Put them—" he stammers, how adorable!—"put them in a sealed basket, like the ones you use for Lady Evie's long journeys. And then pack enough food for maybe a week."
It's a lot of work to keep my face straight. And not because I'm grumpy for receiving more work.
"Ser?" I have to ask this, and I swear I'm not a gossipy maid. "Where would you need the goods? So I can ask the mages for the proper enchantments."
"A small village in Ferelden. Honnleath. Oh, and please don't tell anybody about the strawberry jam… business. Not even her. Uh… If you'll excuse me, Chef."
I take my leave, and as soon as I'm out of earshot, laugh like crazy.
It's not easy to hide a secret from Lady Evie. Gah, I find it hard to keep secrets, period. Maybe that's why the Spymaster has decided not to make me one of her agents—I don't do poker face at all, even if I can read most people accurately. Thank goodness Lady Evie's occupied with whatever it is that she's accomplishing at the moment—waiting for something from Anna Hawke, I think. Between that and her training as knight enchanter, Lady Evie barely finds time to visit my kitchen anymore.
Which is perfect. I think I make a passable enough strawberry jam fit for a Trevelyan, so I send it to Commander Cullen. He thinks it's perfect too, and something from his unusually bubbly demeanor tells me that Lady Evie has agreed to come with him on his little picnic.
On the appointed day, I sneak outside the kitchen with the basket of goodies he has asked for, and prayed to the Maker, the elven gods, even the Old Gods, that Lady Evie would not catch me. That'd be awkward, and it would spoil the surprise I know the Commander has exerted a lot of effort on. I bet my ass he's made sure that the Inquisition would still run well even if Lady Evie and he were gone for a short while.
"Very good, Chef," he commends me when I present the basket to him. Of course I'm good, that's why I'm Lady Evie's personal cook! "But I need another favor."
Dear Maker, I should be getting a bonus for each of Commander Cullen's requests. I could start my own café then.
"Can you please pack a hooded cloak and boots for Lady Trevelyan?"
"Uh," I don't know how to mention the obvious, but—"I'm her cook, uh, not her handmaid. I don't have permission to enter her room, ser."
"Oh," he says, as if considering this for the first time. "Oh. I guess I'll have to find those for myself then…"
"If there's anything else, ser?" I ask. I still have to report in the main kitchens.
"I suppose you might as well know, Chef," he says with a chuckle and a loving gaze at the basket. "You know when you were appointed the Inquisitor's personal chef? We thought—the Ambassador, the Spymaster, the Seeker and me—that Evie might need a personal assistant. Someone to do all her bidding, attend to her at all times. Someone trustworthy and capable. Cassandra recommended a squire, to carry her things and all that, but mages don't really need squires. Josephine thought about a handmaid, but it's the height of impracticality for her to wear corsets and dresses. So Leliana suggested we give her a shadow, someone who'd watch her every move and cater to her every whim. We all thought that was creepy. Finally, I suggested getting her a cook instead, the best in the Inquisition. I've always noticed how fond she is of food. The way she eats when she's sad or happy. And so here you are, Chef Ellie, giving her small comforts in the form of cookies and cakes…"
He smiles at the memory.
"I didn't know that, ser," I answer, but he doesn't seem to hear me. That man must be so in love with Lady Evie. He sees what most others do not: that Lady Evie is still human, that she has wants and needs too, that she suffers too, like everybody else. And he's figured out how to help her cope with the insanities of being Herald, and now, Inquisitor.
"Of course, this is all confidential, yes, Chef?" he asks me in his big voice. Of course I won't tell that he's so in love with our slightly chubby Inquisitor. Everyone else sees it.
A/N: I know that Cullen and the Inquisitor kiss at the battlements before they go to their Ferelden date, but I invoke creative license! I'll have something extra for that kiss in the battlements and the oblivious agent who disrupts them. Maybe Commander Cullen would get back at that agent by depriving him of dessert?
I've uploaded two chapters today, because I might not be able to write or upload for the next coming days. Exam week is almost upon us, and as much as Ellie and Evie wanna play, duty calls. Thanks for all the encouraging PMs, reviews, favorites and follows! Lady Evie and Chef Ellie would like to send some cookies to rainbowzebra215.
