Lady Evie returns from Adamant victorious, gloriously silhouetted by the dawn as she rides home. As quite expected. There have been rumors for days before her arrival that she got thrown in the Fade with some others, that someone got left there, that the Grey Wardens are joining us, and a notorious prisoner has been apprehended, and the nations of Thedas defer to the Inquisition's jurisdiction in judging him.
I watch the proud banners of the Inquisition flying, happy for my mistress, and confident that should Lady Evie visit the kitchen, as is her wont, she'd find her celebratory pastries, coffee, and some fresh fruit there. Nor would her Commander be left out as I also made some simple breads for him if he takes his morning tea with her.
As soon as the troops settle inside the keep, I go back to the kitchen, and true enough, Lady Evie arrives, freshened up, her hair still wet from her bath. But I notice that she isn't smiling.
Is Adamant less of a victory than what we in Skyhold have anticipated?
"What happened, Lady Evie?" I ask.
"We lost good men and women out there, Ellie," she says sadly as she stares into the dark coffee. "Soldiers loyal to our cause, loyal to me. Men and women who had families and friends. Not to mention, the only honorable Warden I know other than Blackwall. Stroud. He could have helped rebuild the Order. Not to mention the things I found out, the many things I have found out... it's hard to see the wisest thing to do right now."
The kitchen door creaks open, and in comes Ser Cullen, who, despite obvious efforts to make himself presentable, looks forlorn, sleepless and wan.
"Rolls, ser?" I offer him instinctively. He nods, and sits beside Lady Evie. I pour him some Arl Grey with lemon as he kisses her hand.
Lady Evie sheds her sadness away at the gesture, and smiles at him, before resuming her best business-ey voice. I think this must be a breakfast meeting, and so I prepare to leave discreetly.
"Commander," she says, "you mentioned earlier something about the Red Templars' source of lyrium in Sahrnia."
Servants shouldn't really be eavesdropping on official conversations. But the mention of Sahrnia—I have family there. So I decide to take a very bold move and thank my lucky stars that I have gotten a certain degree of friendship and familiarity with my bosses.
"Inquisitor, there are Red Templars in Sahrnia?" I ask with trepidation.
"Evie has found smuggler letters pointing out that Sahrnia the main source of red lyrium," Ser Cullen says matter-of-factly. "Why? Do you know anyone in Sahrnia?" he adds kindly.
"There are reports, and I've been meaning to investigate myself," Lady Evie answers. "But Adamant got in the way."
Red Templars, like the ones in Haven from whom we'd escaped. Big, hulking, scary men-not-really-men. Crystals growing out of some of them. I lose all composure, and fall onto the floor.
"Maker," Lady Evie whispers, and wraps her arms around me. "Ellie, I'm so sorry. I forgot. Leliana's mentioned that you have family there. A brother you corresponded with. Have you heard from him recently?"
"No, Lady Evie," I tell her. "But I'm sure it's alright," I add.
Losing composure in front of my bosses is not a good thing. So I thank her and take my leave.
Later in the day, dignitaries and denizens alike of Skyhold witness Inquisitor Evelyn Marie Antoinette Trevelyan passing judgment on the prisoner Livius Eremond. A deranged magister, if you ask me, and it would have been interesting to hear him blabber about some one true god and Tevinter owning everything if I weren't so distracted.
Cole appears by my side. "Pain, regret, I should have written more often, I should have helped him, I should not have left him… Do you want to forget the hurt, Ellie?"
"Maker, no!" I gasp, horrified at the very idea.
"Then don't forget him," Cole says simply. "Varric says that sometimes, talking helps. And talking will help you remember. And you like talking about things with some cookies. I like cookies too."
It would be profoundly ungrateful to this spirit of compassion if I turn down this kind offer. So I let him lead me to my kitchen, and before I know it there are milk and cookies before me.
"My older brother is Jean," I tell Cole. "Our parents died when we were little. Jean found work for us as servants in Lord Valois's estate near Emprise du Lion. We were paid well, because our lord was rich… but he had enemies, and he was killed because of the Game. We couldn't find work together, so we separated. I went on to be a cook in Sahrnia, and then to Val Royeaux, and then Haven and the Inquisition. But Jean remained in Sahrnia as a miner. He didn't write often, because he found it hard to write."
"He seems very kind," Cole says.
And as if reading my mind, Cole reaches out to a counter and gets a tin box. He opens it, and finds the only letter Jean has written to me.
"Your brother loves you," Cole says, echoing my thoughts. "His imprint on this letter is strong. Worry, love, regret. He misses you."
The number of times I've read that letter, I know it like the back of my hand. I can take care of myself, Ellie, just like when I took care of you when you were younger. And I would appreciate if you baked me chocolate chip cookies again, like the ones Mother made.
I weep, and trust that Cole would return the letter and the box as he has found them.
"You know I'm thinking of how I could bring you news about him," a familiar feminine voice said. Lady Evie, kind as always. "I'm leaving for Sahrnia day after tomorrow, assuming I finish all business here first."
"Evie, radiant, beautiful, cruel," Cole says. "You want to help. But I don't know how that helps. You took away the essence of what he is. His magic, his feelings, his emotions. He was frightened before he became empty."
"I'm really not in the mood for this, Cole," Lady Evie said wearily. "I meted out justice as I thought best."
"Justice is strange sometimes," Cole notes, and disappears.
"We are going to set up camp in Sahrnia, and retake the keep there," Lady Evie tells me. "I will send you word immediately once I get there. What's his full name and situation?"
"Jean Martin, Inquisitor," I say, humbled that she even thought of my needs. "Worked at the quarries for some time…"
Weeks pass. I push away all emotions while performing my duties in the main hall kitchens and sometimes spend time in the tavern kitchen with Rina. I also continue my wont of taking breakfast, lunch and dinner to the Commander's office when Lady Evie's not around—because that man really forgets himself when he works—and, man, if those lines on his face and the not-empty food trays he leaves for me or the other servants to pick up does not tell a story I'll be a kitten. One day, however, a raven arrives with a message for me directly from Lady Evie—Sahrnia and Suledin Keep taken for the Inquisition. Asked around for your brother Jean Martin, with Cole's help of course. We need to talk.
When Lady Evie returns, she hugs me and whispers how sorry she is, but she's too late. My brother is one of the victims of the Red Templars and that horrible woman Mistress Poulin, who sold out the quarries knowing what it would do to some of the villagers. Including my brother.
Someone, maybe Lady Evie or Cole, puts a plate of cookies and a glass of warm milk before me. But I am not in the mood for sweets right now.
My first instinct is to run to Sister Nightingale and tell her that I will work as a spy so as to help weed out people like Mistress Poulin, to stop them from hurting innocent people.
A/N: So sorry for the slow updates! Real life gets in the way of things, but I promise, I haven't abandoned this work yet.
