Guys I feel like I'm on a roll! I haven't updated this much in ages! It feels marvelous, and I hope you are all enjoying this as much as I am! :)
Chapter 19
The next morning Clarke woke to a headache and a cold bed. Bellamy was long gone, leaving no note- nothing. She got out of bed, her head pounding as she made it up and dressed for the day.
She walked into the kitchen to find her husband's dirty dishes sitting in the washbasin. She left them where they were, her stomach rolling at the smell of the greasy meat.
Instead, she put on some oats to cook, the bland meal setting much easier on her temperamental stomach. As she worked, she listened for Bryce. The little boy came dragging in rubbing his eyes just as breakfast finished.
Clarke spooned the meal into two bowls, garnishing hers with berries and his with some of the maple syrup Lincoln had brought them. They ate in silence, both in somber moods.
After they ate, she set Bryce's slate in front of him with a piece of chalk telling him to practice writing his alphabet. While the little boy jabbered to himself, his face contorting in concentration, his mother cleaned the kitchen.
She heated some of the water left over from the day before, shaving in some soap, and then washing the dishes. After that task was done, she swept the floors and cleaned out the ash out of the fireplace.
The soot made her cough, which soon turned to gagging. She raced out the door, losing her breakfast in the same bushes as the day before. She wiped her mouth with a shaky hand, staggering back inside the cabin.
Clarke could feel tears burning her eyes, and she knew that she didn't want to break down in front of her son.
"Bryce, let's go see Auntie O", she called.
She watched as the little boy studied her, his dark gaze missing nothing. However, he didn't argue. He simply rose from his place at the table and took her hand.
Clarke had never been more thankful that Octavia and Lincoln lived so close. By the time she reached their door, it was taking all of her energy not to burst into noisy sobs that threatened to erupt at any moment.
The door was opened quickly, Lincoln taking in his sister-in-law's white face and shaking hands.
"What happened", he asked as he reached for her, his large hands steadying her.
"Where's O", the blonde whispered.
"In the kitchen."
"Could you take Bryce", Clarke asked, her teeth clamping down on her lips in an effort to keep from crying.
"Sure, come on buddy", the Grounder said as he scooped up his nephew and headed for the forest.
Clarke shut the door behind her, resisting the urge to sink to the floor. She entered the kitchen, a sob finally escaping.
Octavia turned to find her friend swaying in her kitchen, her features pinched and her face pale.
"Clarke, sit down before you fall down", she said, rushing to help the blonde onto the bench.
Her friend sat down with a little huff, immediately cradling her head in her hands.
"What happened?"
"I couldn't tell him", Clarke whispered.
"What do you mean you couldn't tell him", O asked in confusion.
"I didn't want to just come right out and tell him, so I asked him if he could build onto the house, hoping he would understand. He just got mad. It was stupid of me. He's been under so much stress lately and I just added to it. Then he started saying how we should wait to have children- how a baby would only complicate things", Clarke sobbed.
Octavia took the crying girl in her arms, rubbing her back as the blonde's tears soaked her shirt.
"Shhh, I'm sure he didn't mean it."
"Yes he did. What am I going to do?"
"You're going to tell him", Octavia said, pulling back to look Clarke in the eye, "He'll love this baby, and he won't just abandon you."
"He'll hate me for this. He already feels so weighted down, and here I am adding to his list of responsibilities", Clarke said.
The lack of emotion in her friend's voice scared Octavia. It was like Clarke had resigned herself to her fate.
"Bell could never hate you, Clarke."
"It's a fine line between love and hate. You didn't hear him, O. I haven't seen him like that since the beginning when he did despise me."
"You have to tell him, Clarke. He's going to find out eventually, and he won't be happy that you kept this from him", Octavia reasoned.
"I know, I'll tell him soon", the blonde said as she rose from her seat, "Thanks for listening."
"Any time", Octavia called as she watched her friend go.
Clarke ventured outside, her husband coming into view. He turned to look at her, and then looked away. She felt small, and so stupid. If she'd just come out and told him, then none of this would have happened.
She watched as Lincoln brought Bryce to her, her brother-in-law's gaze far too knowing.
"Are you alright", he asked when he reached her.
Clarke looked at Bellamy, and then back to the man before her.
"No, but I will be. Come on Bryce", she said quietly before taking her son's hand.
As she walked back towards her cabin, Clarke felt bile rise in her throat. She disentangled herself from Bryce's grip, running to the creek where she once again retched.
She felt Bryce's small hands as he clumsily pulled her hair back and away from her face. She wanted to comfort him, wanted to tell him that everything was ok.
When she finally looked at the little boy, his face was pale and tears cascaded down his cheeks. She pulled him to her, wrapping him in her embrace as she began to gently rock back and forth.
"Are you gonna die, Momma", he asked quietly, fear lacing his words.
Clarke's heart dropped. She knew this had to be scary for him. He didn't understand what was going on, and she didn't want him to worry. She pulled back where he could see her face as she spoke.
"Momma's fine, sweetheart. What I'm going to tell you has to stay between us alright", Clarke said, watching Bryce nod before she continued, "You're going to be a big brother."
The little boy smiled, his little face brightening with excitement.
"Really!"
His reaction had been the one she'd been looking for, and she found herself smiling in return.
"Really!"
"Momma, why can't we tell Bewamy", Bryce asked suddenly as he helped her to her feet.
Clarke groaned internally. She should have known her son would ask. He was a smart kid, and he never missed a thing.
"Because Bellamy will be worried, and we don't want him to worry. Do we?"
She watched as the little boy nodded, his dark eyes round as twin saucers.
"Good", she sighed, "Now let's go home."
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Mel lay on her bed of furs, the fire slowly dying down to a glowing ember. Tarren's soft snores were slowly lulling her to sleep as she reflected on the past month.
Her feelings for Bellamy were no longer concrete, they were becoming hazy and bleary. She tried to keep him at the forefront of her mind, but the handsome Grounder made it difficult.
He'd taught her so many things, how to hunt and fish, which berries were poisonous and which were safe to eat. He was quiet, and she found his company calmed her.
Tarren had to be the only person in her life who stayed with her out of choice. He could have killed her, or left her to die, but instead he remained with her. He would tell her stories when she woke from a nightmare, and his mere presence brought her comfort.
She rolled over, away from the man who was swiftly becoming too important. Every time she closed her eyes, she tried to conjure Bellamy's smiling face, instead all she got were Tarren's serious hazel eyes.
Mel huffed, throwing an arm over her ear to muffle his snores. If she was going to rescue Bellamy from the Princess, she'd have to do it soon before she lost his memory completely.
"What is it, little one", came Tarren's deep voice, floating on the gentle night breeze to tickle her ear.
Mel lay in silence for a moment, her mind scrambling for something- anything that would convince the quiet Grounder to help her.
"Tarren", she spoke finally, "Did I ever tell you about the man who did this to me?"
"No", came the steely reply.
"His name is Bellamy Blake. He chased me from my home for no reason. He left me here to die", Mel lied.
She sat up and looked across the soft firelight at the man she was quickly coming to care too much for. She found his features hardened, an angry glint glowing in his eyes.
"I want revenge", she said softly, "All my life I've had to sit back and take what all of these people have thrown at me, and I'm tired of it. I want to fight back."
Mel watched as Tarren gave a nod of understanding, his features softening.
"Then I will see that you get your revenge, but for now sleep", he said before lying back down.
The woman lay back down, guilt weighing on her heart. She knew what she was doing was wrong, knew that using Tarren after all of his kindness made her the worst type of person, but she couldn't stop.
She had to save Bellamy from a life of torment with someone who could never love him as she had… No, as she did. Did she love him? Her feelings were so muddled she wasn't sure anymore.
However, she believed with all her heart that if she could just see him that all of those warm feelings would return. So, as she fell asleep, she fought to remind herself that she was doing this for Bellamy, she would save him from the life devoid of love that she had formerly known.
Thanks for reading! Please review! I love hearing from y'all! :)
Sey77: Thanks for the review! I'm so glad you enjoyed that last chapter! There are rough waters ahead, but I promise a Bellarke happy ending ;) Poor Bryce, he's a smart kid, so he can tell that things in his family aren't quite right. As unstable as his life has been, he is of course scared that this happy home he's become so used to is about to be ripped from his hands.
Wright: Thank you so much for your reviews! Bellamy was a bit harsh, but he's super stressed. He's also starting to feel the effects of bottled emotions. O is definitely going to have something to say about things!
