New chapter, hope you all enjoy! Thank you for reading!
Chapter 6- Sick
"Weed is good. Vodka is good. Weed and vodka make me happy," Brittany mumbled to herself as she rocked back and forth in her chair.
Dex and Santana had went to bed hours ago, Brittany assumed. The woman thought about going to bed many times, but then somehow she ended up in the kitchen smoking weed and drinking vodka. She couldn't stop thinking about what Santana had said earlier that night. 'nobody would want to have sex with me.' Brittany hated how much the girl put herself down. She had no confidence at all. Brittany fantasised about what it would be like to be with Santana in that way. She imagined it would be amazing, but also complicated. She was married, her thoughts were inappropriate.
Once she was finished in the kitchen, Brittany crawled up the stairs and hesitated for a moment as she stood on the landing. She looked left and right, confused. What way would she go? She had promised Santana she would make it back to her room tonight, but once again those thoughts were going through her mind. The little devil inside convincing her to take a peek in Santana's room. Left or right?
"Brittany, why are you still up?" Dex asked, rubbing his eyes as he left the bedroom.
"I went to get a drink of water," Brittany lied, still not bothering to move.
Dex frowned as he turned on the light and stared at his wife. He blinked a couple of times. "What's that smell?" He asked, trying to figure it out. "There's this weird smell and I'm not exactly sure what it is."
Weed, it's weed, Brittany thought to herself. However, she couldn't exactly tell her husband what the smell was.
"It's nothing," she said quickly, shaking her head. "Go back to bed and I'll join you in a minute."
Dex went back into the bedroom and after hesitating once again, Brittany followed her husband, feeling guilty as she did. She crawled under the covers and turned off the light, staring blankly at the ceiling as the room started to spin. She closed her eyes and eventually fell into a deep sleep.
Left or right? If it hadn't been for her husband disturbing her, perhaps she would have turned right.
"I swear I'm not taking drugs!" Santana shouted, waking Brittany up. The woman opened her eyes and turned on her side, trying to block out the sound of Dex and Santana arguing. It was too early for her to deal with that shit.
"Then what the hell is this, Santana?!" Dex yelled, throwing something across the room. Brittany sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes, she knew she wouldn't be getting back to sleep after that. Throwing on a pair of sweats, Brittany stumbled out of the bedroom and went downstairs.
"Good morning," she groaned, yawning as she took a seat at the kitchen table.
"No, it's not a 'good morning' at all," Dex hissed. "This child of mine think it's acceptable to take drugs in my house!"
"Our house," Brittany corrected, rolling her eyes.
"I'm not even taking drugs, this is just a huge mistake on dads part!" Santana said.
"Then what the hell is this weed doing in my house?" Dex asked, pointing down to the weed on the table.
Brittany's eyes widened when she saw it. She hadn't been as careful as she had thought. She tried to remember the night before and how she stored the weed in it's usual spot, but then Brittany realized she never did that, she was careless and left it out on the table for everyone to see. Her mouth went dry as she continued to stare at it. She felt beyond guilty at that moment. Santana was getting the blame for it while she sat there not saying a word. She knew she should have opened her mouth, but when she did, nothing came out.
"Why don't you believe me?" Santana asked, tears forming in her eyes. "I'm not the only person living in this house, why don't you ask someone else."
Dex laughed. "Don't be so ridiculous, sweetheart. I know this is yours," he stated, looking disappointed. "I would never touch this stuff and I know you're not accusing your step-mom of-"
"It's Tina's," Brittany blurted out. Telling the truth would have only caused more trouble, so telling a little white lie was the only way to get Santana off the hook.
"Tina? Your friend?" Dex asked, frowning.
Brittany nodded her head. "She left it here last night," she lied again.
"Tina wasn't here last night, was she?"
"She was," Brittany said quickly, immediately standing up and grabbing the weed. "She was bored so she came over for a bit when you both went to bed. S-sorry for not telling you. I'll just go and return...this to her.
"Hold on a minute," Dex shouted, following Brittany out of the kitchen.
"I'm in a rush, please don't try and stop me," she begged. "I'll see you later, okay?" Brittany planted a soft kiss on her husbands lips before rushing out of the house and hurrying down the street, not even knowing where she was going.
Santana watched her step-mom practically running down the street. "Dad, shouldn't one of us tell Brittany she isn't wearing a t-shirt?"
"She'll figure it out eventually," Dex mumbled.
For some reason Brittany had promised to pick Santana up from school again. Not that she minded, spending time with Santana was the highlight of her day. She did, however, feel nervous about seeing the girl, especially after what had happened in the kitchen. Santana wasn't stupid, she would have probably figured out the drugs belonged to Tina, which is why in a way Brittany didn't want to pick her up, she expected a lot of questions.
Brittany parked the car on the curb outside of View Hill school and watched as students hurried out of the front door. It was a few minutes later when Santana finally appeared, walking across the grass in that beautiful school uniform with-
Wait a minute. Who the fuck is that? Brittany asked herself, shoving her head out of the car window so she could get a better look. What the fuck is that little bitch doing with Santana? Come over here and I'll run you over!
Brittany studied the mysterious girl, trying to figure out who she was and why she was talking to Santana. A part of her felt a little threatened, this girl was beautiful and the same age as Santana. For all Brittany knew they could have been hooking up or something. That thought alone sent shivers down the womans spine. Her curiosity got the better of her, and before Brittany knew what she was doing, she opened the car door and rushed over to her step-daughter.
"Santana, we're going to be late and there's not much time!" She shouted, grabbing the girls hand and pulling her away from the red haired girl.
"Brittany, what's going on?" Santana asked, confused by the way she was acting. "What are we going to be late for? I had no idea we were even-"
"No time," Brittany mumbled, holding Santana's hand tightly. "Get in, we have to go."
Brittany opened the car door for Santana and waited patiently for the girl to get in. When she closed the door behind her, she looked at the red haired girl who was now walking in a different direction. She felt relieved. She didn't feel threatened as much anymore. Brittany walked around to the drivers side and climbed in with a smile on her face.
Santana's eyes were wide open. "What the hell is going on?" She asked slowly.
Brittany shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing is going on," the woman answered. "I was thinking about making some soup for dinner, would you like that?"
"Brittany...you practically jumped out of the car and dragged me away from her," Santana said.
"Her? There's a her? Never saw you with anyone. Who is this her anyway?" Brittany asked, trying to act casual.
"Her names Angelica. We had lunch together," Santana said.
Oh god, she's already dating this girl. They've had lunch together and everything! Brittany thought to herself. Stupid little girl trying to get in the way. She's had dinner with me, Angelica. Beat that! Ha!
"I don't like her," Brittany said quickly, pulling away from the school and speeding down the street.
"You don't even know her," Santana replied.
"She looks like a slut to me," Brittany said, shrugging her shoulders.
"You said you didn't even see me with anyone," the girl said, frowning.
"I lied," Brittany said quickly. "Clearly you fell for it."
"Wait a minute, what?" Santana said, confused. "Listen, Angelica isn't a slut. She's really sweet and super smart."
Santana thinks she's pretty. Santana thinks that little slut is pretty! Brittany said to herself, gripping the steering wheel tightly. I'm prettier than her. I have a job, I can drive, I'm older, I'm-
Brittany gasped as her eyes glanced over to Santana. "You're crying," she stated, suddenly feeling worried. "Why are you crying? What's happened? Is it school or something? Do I need to kick someone's ass because I swear-"
Santana sniffled and shook her head. "You don't like it w-when I talk to anyone," she hiccuped, wiping the tears away. "I just feel like I can't win. I-I don't like it when you call people a slut."
"I'm sorry," Brittany said quickly, pulling over so she could give Santana her full attention. She took off her seatbelt and turned to face the weeping girl. "God, Santana I'm so sorry. I had no idea it was upsetting you this much."
Santana nodded her head. "You're really protective and sometimes that isn't a good thing," she said honestly, breaking Brittany's heart. "Why do you not want me to make friends?" She asked, looking Brittany in the eye.
Because making friends could lead to something more, Santana. I'm worried one day you're going to find someone and it's going to scare the shit out of me seeing you with someone you like. I don't know what the hell is going on with my feelings, but I do know I'm attracted to you. I guess I'm kind of scared of all of this, Brittany said to herself, wanting more than anything for Santana to understand.
Knowing she could never tell Santana any of that, instead, she said, "I just want to be a good step-mom."
"You are a good step-mom," Santana said.
The woman paused for a moment. "You can't exactly say I'm a good step-mom when all I do is upset you."
"You upset me when you act really protective, b-but you're still very good to me. You bought me a phone which I'm very grateful for."
Brittany smiled softly. "I bought you a cheap phone."
Santana sniffled again and shrugged her shoulders. "I don't care, you still bought me a phone because I needed one. You didn't have to do that for me, so thank you." The girl hesitated for a moment before continuing. "While we're talking about stuff, I-I just want to ask you about the weed dad found in the kitchen this morning. I trust you, but a part of me has a feeling your friend didn't come over last night."
Brittany gulped. Lie or don't lie. "That's correct," she nodded.
"Do you...do you want to talk about it?" Santana asked.
"No," the woman replied quickly. "Like I said, I was thinking about making soup for dinner. Would you like some?"
"I would really like us to talk about this. Maybe we could help each other," Santana said.
Brittany frowned. "What do you mean?" She asked, focusing on the road.
"Well...I could help you with your little problem and you could help me with my...little problem."
Brittany slowed down the car, not wanting to pull up outside of the house without knowing what Santana meant. "Would you like to explain what you mean by that? I have a feeling you're referring to the drink problem you claim I have. I'm just curious to know what's going on with you?"
"Do you- d-do you think we could maybe talk about this in the house? I'm just a little embarrassed about it," Santana admitted.
"Of course," Brittany mumbled, curious to know why Santana couldn't just tell. "You don't have to worry, I wont be calling any of your friends a slut again."
It didn't take long for them to get home, only a couple of minutes. Brittany sat on the couch in the living room while she waited for the girl to get changed out of her school uniform. The creaky stairs alerted the woman and within a few seconds, Santana was sitting opposite Brittany on the couch. The womans eyes glanced over the girls clothes. Santana was wearing a tight tank top and a pair of sweats. She quickly tore her eyes away from the girl when she noticed Santana staring at her.
"So, what's your problem?" Brittany asked, clearing her throat.
Santana shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "Well, I really like school but there's one little problem," she started, pausing for a moment as she averted her eyes away from Brittany. "You see, View Hill is popular for something...swimming."
Brittany raised an eyebrow. "Swimming?" She questioned.
Santana nodded her head. "Yeah, it's kind of mandatory to take part in swimming challenges, which is a bit of a problem for me."
"Why is it a problem for you?" Brittany asked, already knowing the answer.
"Remember how I keep telling you that I have...something," Santana whispered, trying to calm herself down as her face turned bright red. "This something means I can't exactly wear a swimming costume because it will reveal my...something," she explained.
This is it. Santana's going to tell me all about the penis I already know she has, Brittany thought to herself.
Brittany ran her fingers through her hair. "Okay," she nodded, understanding. "What would you like me to do?"
"Well, I was thinking maybe you could see the principal, h-he might be able to put me in extra History or something so I don't have to do the swimming. I'd really appreciate it if you would help me out with this," she said.
"I will definitely help you out, but you need to tell me everything," Brittany said, wanting the girl to be honest with her about what she has. "You can trust me. Whatever you tell me will stay between us. Your father will never find out."
Santana hesitated for a moment before speaking. "Okay, I have a penis because I was born with one and somehow I'm a girl and I feel like a girl but I have this and it makes me feel insecure and like a freak but I-"
"Santana, breathe," the woman said softly, placing her hand on top of Santana's. "Continue when you're ready."
Santana took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "When mom and dad first adopted me t-they thought I was a boy," she explained quietly. "Over the years I started to develop more things, so they sort of figured it out. Having a penis makes me feel different, it makes me feel...weird."
Brittany understood. She remembered the girl in high school who had a penis. That poor girl was tortured for years because of it, so she could imagine how difficult having one would be. She squeezed Santana's hand and smiled softly. "What you have is special, Santana."
"No, it's embarrassing," the girl said quickly, letting go of Brittany's hand as she stood up and moved away from her. "You honestly have no idea what it's like to have...this!" She shouted, pointing down at her crotch.
"Santana, calm down," Brittany said softly.
Santana wiped a tear away from her face. "Everyday is like a battle for me. Do you know what it's like going shopping for clothes and knowing there's beautiful things I will never be able to wear because it shows off too much?!" She started, not giving Brittany a chance to reply. "Do you know what it's like to not be able to go swimming without wearing shorts or something?!"
Brittany stood up and placed her hands on the girls shoulders. "Calm down," she repeated.
Santana pushed Brittany away and turned her back on the woman. "I'm a lesbian who will never be able to be with a lesbian because guess what?! I have a penis and what lesbian wants to be with someone who has the one thing they hate?!"
"You're absolutely amazing, anyone would be lucky to have you!" Brittany shouted, pulling the girl toward her.
"No, they wouldn't,"Santana argued.
"Sit down, lets talk about this," the woman said softly, pulling the girl back down on the couch. "You're smart, funny, adorable, who wouldn't want to be with you?"
I'd love to be with you. Oh crap, maybe I shouldn't have called her adorable, Brittany thought to herself.
Santana buried her head in her hands. "Listen, the only person who has ever been interested in me was that jackass. Mom's boyfriend."
"Aaron?" Brittany questioned.
Santana nodded her head as she continued to hide her face. "He knew about my penis, it fascinated him," she mumbled. "He looked at me more than he looked at mom, a-and I think in a way she knew that. She'd have to be an idiot otherwise."
Brittany opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to find the right words to say. "Oh, did he, erm, you know...touch you inappropriately?"
Santana shook her head. "Mom kicked me out before things went that far," she whispered, removing her hands from her face and wiping away the tears. "He always watched me whenever I changed my clothes. Mom always blamed me for it, but we both know the truth."
Brittany moved across the couch and wrapped her arms around the weeping girl. "Shh, it's okay," Brittany whispered, planting a soft kiss on the top of Santana's head. "You don't have to worry about anything happening to you, this is your home now and I promise you're safe."
Brittany hummed quietly as she continued to calm the girl down. After a few minutes the tears had finally stopped and Santana pulled away from Brittany's embrace. "Thank you," she murmured. "Do you really think I'll find someone one day?"
Brittany nodded her head. "I absolutely think you will."
I'm sure it's going to scare the shit out of me when you do. I guess it's something I'll just have to get used to, she thought to herself.
Santana smiled softly. "So what are we going to do about school? I can't do swimming without people-"
"I'll figure something out, don't you worry about that," Brittany said, standing up and rubbing her hands together. "So, would you like some soup for dinner?"
"I would love some," Santana replied. "Thanks for not laughing at me."
"It's okay, Santana," she smiled.
Before Brittany could leave the living room, Santana grabbed her hand. "Brittany, we still have to talk about your little problem. You're helping me get out of swimming so I'm going to help you."
Brittany had thought the girl had forgotten all about her 'problem.' In a way she didn't want to talk about it. Drink was a huge part of Brittany's life and she didn't want to let it go. What was wrong with having a few drinks in the kitchen anyway? Of course it was almost every night, but it wasn't as if she walked the streets causing trouble, she had it under control, or so she thought. She also didn't want to talk about the weed found on the kitchen table.
"I should really start dinner before your dad gets home. We'll talk about it later," Brittany said quietly, quickly dropping Santana's hand and leaving the room.
"We could talk about it now since dad isn't home," Santana said, following the woman out of the room and into the kitchen. "If you want I could help make the soup, I'm sure there's some things you need me to chop."
"I would prefer you to finish your homework," Brittany said.
"I don't have any," Santana said quickly.
Brittany turned around and raised an eyebrow. "You don't have any?" She asked curiously. "I remember you telling me all about school and how the teachers always give out a lot. Are you sure you don't have any?"
"I finished it during lunch," Santana mumbled. "Please let me help you," she begged.
"I'm putting my foot down, Santana," Brittany said sternly, placing her hands on her hips. "I know you have homework so please go upstairs and finish it."
Santana shook her head. "Brittany, it's unfair of you to do this to me!" She moaned. "I told you my biggest secret because I thought me and you had made a lot of progress over the last couple of weeks. I also hoped we could help each other out. I know how much you drink, Brittany. You think you're quiet but you're actually pretty loud when you drink in the kitchen. I just think-"
"I don't care what you think, Santana!" Brittany snapped. "I am your step-mom and when I tell you to do something, you do it. Do you understand?"
Santana's eyes widened. "Brittany, just a couple of minutes ago you were comforting me a-and now we're arguing."
It's normal for couples to argue, Brittany thought to herself. Wait a minute, we're not a couple. Shit, why the fuck did I just think that. I'm going mad! Completely mad!
"Santana!"
"Brittany!"
The sound of Brittany's phone ringing interrupted the argument. The woman ran her fingers through her hair before shaking her head and leaving the kitchen. She could hear Santana protesting behind her as she begged her step-mom to ignore the phone call, but Brittany needed a distraction at that moment. She quickly answered the phone and listened as the man on the other end of the line spoke. Her eyes widened at his words.
"Is this a joke?" Brittany asked, tears forming in her eyes.
Santana frowned at Brittany's reaction. "What's happened? Why are you crying? Brittany, who is on the phone?" The girl asked, panicking. She tried to grab the phone out of Brittany's hand but the woman moved away before she could.
"Be quiet a minute," Brittany said quickly, walking into the living room. "Is he going to be okay? Yes...of course, we're on our way."
"What's wrong?" Santana asked again.
Brittany hung up the phone and stared down at the floor. "That was the hospital, your dad has been in an accident," she said as calm as possible. Before Santana had the chance to say anything, the woman continued. "We have to go now, I'll explain on the way."
Brittany sat in the chair next to her husbands bed. She stared at the man as he attempted to sit up. They had been at the hospital for two hours and were relieved to find out Dex was going to be okay. Apparently he swerved off the road to avoid hitting a cat and ended up crashing into a tree. The car was completely ruined but of course that was the last thing on any of their minds. Santana couldn't stop thinking about how she almost lost her dad, whereas Brittany couldn't stop thinking about what the doctor had said. Due to the head injury Dex had sustained, the doctors informed Brittany that they would be keeping her husband in hospital for a few days to monitor him. That meant it would just be her and Santana in the house, and that worried Brittany slightly.
She wasn't ready to play 'mom.' Even though Santana was her step-daughter, Dex had always been there to make decisions. Just her and Santana living in the house made her feel a little sicker, because she was responsible for her. As she sat in the chair thinking about what it would be like, she convinced herself she wouldn't drink while her husband was in hospital, she didn't want to risk doing anything she would regret.
Brittany stared at her husband and shook her head. "You son of a bitch, you had to do this to me," she moaned.
"Santana will be fine, stop worrying," Dex said, hissing when a sharp pain went through his side. "Anyway, usually you like me out of the house as much as possible."
"Not for days and days!" Brittany argued. She liked spending time with Santana and occasionally hating her husband when he came home and ruined their alone time, but she didn't feel comfortable being alone in the house with the girl for a long period of time. Mainly because she didn't trust herself and what she could possibly do.
"Stop moaning, Santana's back," Dex hissed.
"Hey, I got you a drink," Santana said, smiling as she entered the room with a glass of water in her hand. "Here you go. Do you need some help?" She asked softly.
"No thank you, sweetheart," Dex smiled, taking the drink from his daughter. "Brittany's going to look after you for a few days, so remember what we talked about earlier. Be a good girl and do as she says."
"I will," Santana nodded.
"So, what have I missed? Did you two have a good day?" Dex asked, eager to talk about something. "How was school?"
Santana at down at the edge of the bed and shrugged her shoulders. "It was okay, just normal," she said, playing with her fingers. "How was your day? You know, before you ended up hitting a tree?"
Dex laughed. "It wasn't bad, just the usual business," he answered, taking a sip of his drink. "Have you two had any dinner yet? You must be starving if you haven't."
"I was just about to make us some soup when the hospital called," Brittany said. "I'll probably just grab us something to eat on the way home," she added.
"I see," Dex nodded. "Maybe you and Santana should go home now, it's getting late and visiting hours are nearly over." Just as Brittany was about to protest, Dex continued. "Don't you worry about me, I'll be fine in here. Look around, the nurses are taking good care of me, you don't have anything to worry about."
Nothing to worry about? I'm worried about making a move on your daughter while you're in hospital, Brittany thought to herself.
"Dad, are you sure you're going to be okay? We can stay a little longer if you want. I'm sure we can talk to the nurses," Santana said softly.
"No, it's okay," Dex smiled. "I'll see you both tomorrow, have a good night."
"Make sure to take care of yourself and listen to the doctors," Brittany warned, leaning down and planting a soft kiss on her husbands forehead. "I'll be back first thing in the morning," she added, stepping to the side so Santana could say goodnight."
"Love you, get well soon," Santana said, kissing Dex on the cheek.
I'm such a bad wife, how can I be jealous at a time like this? Brittany thought to herself.
After saying goodnight to Dex, Brittany and Santana left the hospital and went to get some food. They arrived home a short time later and ended up eating their food in the living room while watching some game show. Brittany would occasionally glance at Santana to see what the girl was doing. Santana seemed to be in her own little world most of the time, focusing completely on the television and not once staring in Brittany's direction. That slightly bothered Brittany. She wondered why the girl was never interested in anything she did. She remembered their conversation earlier that day and was quite surprised when the girl didn't bring up her little 'problem' again.
"Was the food okay?" Brittany asked, wanting to communicate with the girl. "I think I'll be going to be bed shortly, it's been long day," she added, knowing she shouldn't drink any alcohol in case she couldn't control herself.
"It was nice," Santana smiled, glancing at Brittany for a second before turning her attention back to the television.
My food was nice too, thank you for asking, the woman thought to herself.
Brittany cleared her throat and took a sip of her drink. "How are you doing? I know today must have been hard for you to see your dad in hospital," she said softly. "I'm here if you want to talk about it or something."
"I'm okay," Santana shrugged.
"Are you sure? You're kind of quiet tonight," Brittany frowned.
Santana sighed. "I guess I'm just a little bit shocked," she said, pausing for a moment. "While we having a little argument in the kitchen, dad was in hospital being treated because he crashed his car. I don't know, it's just a little scary. Thank god he's going to be okay."
"Your dad is strong, it will take a lot to get rid of him," Brittany joked.
Santana laughed. "That's true. Are you okay? You could have lost your husband today," she said.
Brittany nodded. "I'm fine," she said, a little too quickly.
Santana glanced at Brittany and held her gaze. "Good," she whispered.
Oh god, Santana's looking at me. She's finally looking at me. God, I love her eyes, they're so beautiful, Brittany thought to herself, feeling butterflies in her stomach.
Santana continued to stare at the woman. "Brittany, I really like you and dad together."
Wait, what? She likes me and him together? She thought.
"We're okay I suppose," Brittany said quietly.
Santana shook her head. "No, I think you and dad are perfect together. I'm glad you and him are married, you're a great step-mom," she smiled.
This can't be happening. Oh god, she has got to be kidding me. Is this a joke? Shit, I think I know exactly what this means, Brittany thought to herself, slightly panicking.
"We're okay," the woman repeated, feeling a lump in her throat.
"I'm really tired so I think I'm going to go to bed now, goodnight," Santana said, standing up and leaving the living room.
Brittany sat on the couch with wide eyes. That couldn't have went any worse for the woman. A part of her wished she never opened her mouth now. If she could have turned back time and kept her mouth shut and just watched the television, she would have. A few tears fell down her face the more she thought about what Santana had said. Her words echoed in her mind. 'You and dad are perfect together' and 'I'm glad you and him are married.' It was Brittany's worst nightmare.
"Oh god, I'm just her step-mom, she's never going to look at me any other way," Brittany gasped, her whole body going numb.
Sick, she felt completely sick.
