Of Poetry and Prose: Chapter Nine
Fate. It's a word that I've thought about for a good portion of my life. Living with a brain tumor never brought me anything but pain and heartbreak, and I always hated that I might be fated to live out my days alone like that. I'd like to believe that I was fated for the life I'm living now. I have a new special family unit, made up of the most interesting people I think I've ever met. I will never be able to find the right words to describe this amazing life that I've found, the life I hope Fate led me to. I know Flynn says he doesn't believe in Fate, but I think I want to believe that it does. How else would such an eccentric and yet glorious group of people have found each other?
Our entire ordeal getting the Library back is what got me thinking about Fate. I don't think our entire lives are mapped out for us to just wander aimlessly through, but maybe there are some events that are meant to happen. We are all meant to be a part of this Library (even Ezekiel, much to Jake's chagrin) and we all have a path to take. I'm just hoping that it's one filled with adventure, and how could it not be, we're Librarians.
We miraculously got the Library back, and thankfully didn't lose Baird in the process. The chaos of our lives had been turned up a couple notches over the past day, but now we are getting back to some semblance of what we'd call normal. And if finding normal weren't enough I think I've found happiness in my life for the first time in too long. If I've learned anything working at the Library it's that anything and everything is possible, just ask Santa Claus.
That night after we brought the Library back Baird took each of us aside, the results of which were definitely eye-opening. I don't know what she told anyone else, but learning that she visited a timeline in which I was the Librarian was a little intimidating.
"What was I like?" I asked a bit timidly. I'm not sure if I want to know any other incarnation of myself because I've finally come to peace with and actually like who I am now.
"Well, that's a bit difficult to explain. In your timeline you had used Excalibur to heal your tumor, but you learned to use magic, you were kind of a magical person. Also Lamia was your Guardian which was really strange since I had just watched her die and apparently she has watched me die at some point."
It's nice to know that I'm living a life without the 'brain grape' somewhere, but I'm happy to say what Baird tells me doesn't make me wish for this other life like I thought it might when I asked initially.
"I'm glad you didn't die in this timeline, I don't know what we'd do without you," I stated smiling.
"Well, I want to pass on a little bit of advice to you based on what I learned," she said and I nod in return. "Whatever the problem is don't give up. Just remember there's always another way. You can do anything Cassandra, you just have to believe you can."
"I think I can do that. Thank you."
I don't know what happened that made her decide to give me that particular piece of advice, but now that I have it I don't plan on letting it go to waste in any aspect of my life. I've always wanted to believe in doing the impossible and now that I live it I don't ever want to lose it. And there's one more thing I know I want and given Baird's advice I know that I can't give up, that I won't give up. I want this life, this amazing life that Fate has brought to me, and if it all ends tomorrow then at least I'll have lived knowing that magic is real and having found that love can find you even when you never believed it was meant for your life.
Of course we weren't afforded a day without disaster. First there were the mummies and then the arduous process of actually getting the Library back which resulted in Lamia's death and almost Colonel Baird as well. I'm not exactly sure what happened to Dulaque, but it sounds as if he's disappeared. We've only learned bits and pieces of what happened when Baird and Flynn followed Dulaque through the back door to the Loom of Fate.
Fate. Since we've gotten the Library back it seems to be something we're all contemplating a bit. I can tell that Cassandra has been thinking about it the most because she's been quieter than normal, but I can understand why she's doing so. I want to believe that I was meant to find her, meant to fall for the beautiful person I've come to know. With her around I know that I can believe in just about anything because she makes the world of magic more real to me than actually seeing magic. Her belief in the impossible is magic in itself and I want that to always be a part of my life.
When Baird pulls me aside after hers and Flynn's little adventure I'm not sure what I should expect, but I know it's not what she ultimately tells me.
"When we were fighting Dulaque at the Loom of Fate, Flynn and I ended up hopping across alternate timelines and in one of them you were the Librarian. In fact I got to meet each of you as the Librarian," she stated.
"Okay," I replied. I'm not sure where she's planning to go with this, but it seems like it might be a strange conversation.
"I've decided to let you each in on a little bit of advice based on what I gleaned from our interactions to hopefully help you along the way."
"Are you sure that's something you should be doing?"
"I think we'll be okay. First of all I want to get one thing out of the way. If you ever kiss me again I will have to kill you," her voice was so stern I actually took a step back.
"What?" I asked a little louder than I expected when I finally realized what she said.
"Okay, so maybe I didn't need to mention that. Actually I should have known I didn't need to because you have Cassandra."
"What exactly are you trying to tell me?" Now I'm feeling a little impatient because I really don't want to discuss my personal relationships with her.
"In the other timeline we had apparently been a couple so when you saw me you kissed me." I was surprised to see a little blush on her cheeks when she confessed the reason for her earlier outburst.
"I mean no offence, but that's not going to be a problem in this timeline."
"Good. What I really wanted to tell you was that you should take chances because if the life we lead is any indication, then we all could use a bit more love and passion. You have the drive to beat any obstacle, and you shouldn't let anything get in your way of finding happiness even if it's short lived. Love with all that you are."
"I think I can handle that. Anything else?"
"Believe in what the two of you could have and can accomplish together." She smiled at me before leaving the room.
I don't know what she told Cassie and Jones, but I know that Baird never would have said anything if she didn't think it would help in the long run. I know for the most part her advice to me is about not wasting what time I possibly have left with Cassie and I know she's right. We've wasted so much time already. I just have to hope the two of us can actually find a time where disaster doesn't strike; just one quiet moment would be nice.
Thinking about a possible future with Cassandra is a little dangerous even when I know we're headed in that direction. If I think too far ahead I am only going to break my heart, but I know that without her my world will be dark. Our relationship is something of a catch-22. The more I think about it I realize that I can survive the inevitable darkness that could come for just a few moments in her life. Now I would do almost anything to have her sunshine lighting up my life. With that thought I smile and head out the door for the night. Whatever is destined for tomorrow is still off on the horizon, but right now in this moment I happy to think of her. Maybe I should see if she'd like to go on that date we talked about earlier.
Sorry it took me so long to write this chapter, but it just didn't want to work out the way I had planned it. Initially I wanted it to take place during Loom of Fate while Flynn and Eve were jumping from timeline to timeline, but that wasn't working so well for me. This is actually the third incarnation of the chapter. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. The next chapter will take place during their adventure in Lima, Peru (and hopefully won't take me so long to write).
Thank you all for your reading and reviewing, I'm not sure I could ever convey how much I appreciate all of your support. You guys are just amazing! A special thanks to StruckkByColfer and Seanchaidh for all of the extra encouragement when I really needed it.
