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TRAVOLYN
Part Two
Alone in her quarters, Kathryn wept. Hugged a cushion and wept. Emma was right. One day Chakotay would be gone from her life.
Maybe tomorrow.
How would she cope? How would she say goodbye to him? How was she going to say goodbye to so many people she had come to care for? With Chakotay at her side, the partings would be bearable, but if he was leaving too, how could she get through it?
She couldn't.
She would be lost without him.
Needed his light.
Without him her life would be dark, and cold, and lonely.
Unbearably lonely.
Needed him.
But too afraid to tell him.
Afraid it was too late.
All she could do was cry.
Cry and hug a cushion.
Cry until oblivion...
Chimes.
Door chimes.
Stirring awake after falling asleep on her couch, Kathryn glanced at the clock. What time was it? Was it still night?
Morning.
9:00 hours.
But Kathryn didn't want to see anyone. Didn't want to hear that someone else was leaving. Didn't want to face the day.
But somehow she had to.
Somehow she had to pull herself together and be the Captain.
Somehow she had to face Chakotay.
But she couldn't.
She couldn't even think of him without crying.
Was crying now.
Crying and hugging a cushion.
Rocking.
And then she heard Chakotay's voice. Heard him say her name.
"Kathryn..."
Kathryn looked up and, through a haze of tears, saw him standing in the doorway. He was out of uniform, wearing something brown, and seemed to be alone.
"I'm sorry for coming in uninvited," he said, walking towards her as the door shut behind him, "but when I got no reply I was worried."
Kathryn sat up and wiped away her tears, hoping he hadn't seen them but knowing that he must have.
"Didn't it...didn't it occur to you that I might be sleeping?"
"Yes. But it also occurred to me that you might be upset...and I was right."
Kathryn looked away. Looked into nothing.
Slowly, Chakotay closed the gap between them and sat beside her.
"I'm sorry, Kathryn. I'm sorry so many people are leaving. But I'm not one of them."
At this, Kathryn turned back to him, a light of hope in her wet eyes. "You're not?"
"Of course not. How could you think for a moment that I would?"
"Because B'Elanna and Tom are staying...because...because you love Debi Lane."
"I don't, Kathryn. She's kind, and clever, and I've enjoyed her company over the last week, but what she and I had was over a long time ago."
Kathryn got to her feet. "I don't believe you! If she means nothing, why have you been sleeping with her?"
"I haven't," he answered calmly.
"Then why didn't you return to Voyager the other night?"
"If you mean the night before last, because I was studying by starlight one of Travolyn's ancient archaeological sites that has perfect planetary alignment."
There was a moment's silence. Then Kathryn spoke. "Really?"
Chakotay stood up. "Really. I know there are rumors flying around about me and Debi, but I promise you that none of them are true. And I promise you that I have no intention of leaving Voyager. Not ever."
At that, Kathryn had to smile. Smile and tease. "Not even when we get home?"
Chakotay laughed, dimples showing. "Only then."
Their eyes locked, then Chakotay put his hand on her shoulder.
"There's going to be a lot of change on Voyager. Things are never going to be the same again. But I don't want them to be the same. Everything evolves, it's a natural process, and we need to too." Tenderly, he put his hand to her cheek and touched her tears. "I could say that I love you, that I can't imagine my life without you, but maybe this will say it better."
With that, he reached into a pocket, pulled out a black velvet box, and opened it. Inside, nestled in white satin, was a dazzling diamond ring.
At that sight of it, at the question it was asking, a question that was clearly the result of a conversation with Emma, Kathryn's last defense broke. All she could do was wrap her arms around his neck and weep.
"Oh, Chakotay..."
Chakotay held her in return, cradling her against him. "Is that a yes?"
"I don't know," she answered honestly.
"Well," Chakotay teased, "I guess that's better than a no."
Kathryn drew away from him. "I want to, Chakotay, I want to with all my heart, but I'm...I'm afraid. I'm afraid of crossing the line. I have a crew depending on me to get them home."
"A crew depending on us," he corrected. "And we won't let them down. We can commit our lives to each other without compromising our commitment to the crew. Their needs first. If we both live by that then we can't go wrong. Besides, with Commander Carr definitely wanting to join our crew...I've just spoken with him in the mess hall...I think it's only right that he replaces me as First Officer."
At this, Kathryn recoiled. "No. No way!"
"But he has an outstanding record, Kathryn. Anything less than First Officer would be an insult."
"And it would be an insult to you to have you anything less! And the crew wouldn't accept it. The Maquis wouldn't accept it!"
"There won't be many Maquis left."
Kathryn began to pace. "But I don't know Lucas Carr. How am I supposed to work that closely with him?"
"Because you're a Starfleet professional. And, remember, you didn't know me once."
"That was different."
"How?" He closed the gap between them and stilled her by placing his hands on her shoulders. "Not only is making Carr First Officer the right thing to do, but it will make a personal relationship between us all the easier. Not just on a practical level, but in the eyes of Starfleet Command when we get home. All major decisions will be made between you and Carr. No one can then accuse you of bias or clouded judgement."
"I know that, Chakotay," Kathryn replied. "But you're my First Officer. I need you by my side."
"And I'll be there, just in a different capacity." He took her hands in his. "I think it's for the best, Kathryn...for everyone's sake."
"But is it? If you and I...if we didn't have romantic feelings...then we wouldn't even be discussing this. That shows in itself how the personal is effecting the professional."
"We'd still be discussing it. Carr's record would make us. And, if we didn't have feelings for each other, if we were just colleagues, then you wouldn't hesitate for a moment in replacing me with Carr. It's the right thing to do. It's what Starfleet Command would expect you to do."
Kathryn wanted to protest, wanted to argue, but she knew he was right. So, instead of arguing, she sadly declined her head.
"You're right," she said. "Starfleet Command would expect it. And, for that reason, I've hoped against hope that Carr wouldn't want to join us. But he clearly does and...and we have to find a way forward."
Chakotay squeezed her hands. "And we've found it. He becomes First Officer and me Second."
Kathryn looked up, eyes misty. "But it's a hell of a comedown for you, Chakotay. Don't tell me it wouldn't hurt your pride. It would hurt mine."
"It will hurt my pride a little," he confessed. "I won't deny it. But not as much as not being with you hurts my heart. I'd rather be your Second Officer and your husband, than your First Officer and nothing more." He put his hand to her cheek. "Everything happens for a reason. More times than we know it for our good. And I think this is for our good. We can be closer personally, as close as two people can be, while distancing ourselves professionally. Let's not fight the change. Let's embrace it."
A tear ran down Kathryn's cheek. "If you're willing, then I have to be, but...but the change will be hard."
"Yes, but nothing worth having is easy. And you're worth having. Remember, my position on this ship is unofficial. I've never been a Starfleet First Officer, I've been your First Officer. Everything I've done has been in duty and loyalty to you. I want only what is in your best interest, and I think this is in your best interest. I also think it's in ours and the crews."
"Maybe, but no crew could ever have a finer First Officer. I don't need to work with Carr to know he will never be a patch on you. But if making him my First Officer is what is right and expected then I guess I'll have to live with it." She smiled through tears. "So long as I get to live with you in private."
Chakotay's eyes lit up. "You mean...?"
"Yes," Kathryn replied, "I'll marry you."
Chakotay laughed and scooped her in his arms.
"Providing the crew approve, of course," Kathryn said, hugging him too. "First Officer, or Second, we couldn't proceed without their blessing."
Chakotay drew her away. "Then we'll ask them for it at the party."
Kathryn nodded. "At the party. Until then, let's consider ourselves engaged to engage."
Chakotay smiled. "Works for me."
They gazed at each other happily and then, for the first time, brought their lips together in a tender kiss.
"Captain," Tuvok said in surprise when Kathryn arrived at his office two hours later, "I was not expecting you."
Kathryn hardly ever visited the Vulcan in his office. She always summoned him to hers.
"I need to speak with you," she replied. "It's a matter of some importance."
"I see," he answered. "Please, take a seat. May I get you a coffee?"
"That would be good."
As he replicated coffee, Kathryn sat down. But she couldn't sit still. Before a window of stationary stars, she fidgeted with her fingers and then with her commbadge.
"From your demeanor," Tuvok said, returning to her with a cup of steaming black coffee, "I conclude that the matter you wish to discuss with me is not good. And yet, I am not sensing distress. Merely, discomfort. Which suggests to me that the subject is not bothersome to you, but you fear it will be to me."
"As always," Kathryn replied, taking her coffee, "your Vulcan intuition is correct."
Tuvok sat beside her. "Then unburden yourself of this matter and I'll tell you if your fear is justified."
"I...I don't really know where to begin," she said, "I suppose with the first matter. Commander Carr, former First Officer of The Travolyn, is joining our crew. I've just had a meeting with him and everything is decided. Because of his record, and his seniority, he will be replacing Commander Chakotay as First Officer. Chakotay will be our Second."
"I see," Tuvok replied. "That will be a considerable change. And an unexpected one. But I take it you and Chakotay have come to this decision together."
"We have. We think it's for the best. Which brings me to the second matter. Chakotay and I we...we love each other."
Tuvok's eyes twinkled. "And that is supposed to be news?"
Kathryn looked up at him. "You mean...you know?"
Tuvok almost smiled. "Vulcan intuition. I have long observed an attachment between yourself and Commander Chakotay. But, to be fair, so have others."
"Others?"
"The exact nature of your relationship has been the subject of ship-wide gossip for the last five years. As your acclaimed poet, Shakespeare, once wrote: what great ones do, the less will prattle of."
"Really? The crew have speculated about our relationship for five years?"
"Ever since you were stranded together on New Earth."
"I see. I had no idea."
"In many minds you are secret lovers."
Kathryn couldn't help but ask. "And in yours?"
"I do not believe you and the Commander have ever acted upon your feelings for each other. But, for us to be having this conversation, I take it you either have over the last few days or now wish to."
"Right again," Kathryn replied. "We wish to." Tears filled her eyes. "I love him with all my heart, Tuvok. I know I shouldn't, as he's under my command and a Maquis rebel, but we're a long way from home and bonds develop. I've tried not to love him, tried with all my might, but I can't stop. He's my best friend, my closest companion and confidant, and I need him. I didn't know until this week just how much. When I thought I was losing him...that he was going to stay on this planet...I couldn't bear the pain. I need him by my side. But if I keep denying my feelings, keep pushing him away, one day he won't be there." She paused. "But your opinion of me is important to me, Tuvok. I want you to respect me. I want the crew to. I don't want you...or them...to think I'm weak."
"Weakness, and Kathryn Janeway, are not words I would use in the same sentence. Humans are not Vulcans. Humans need emotional bonds. Commander Chakotay is the most logical person for you to have bonded with. As to your positions, a relationship need not be romantic for judgments to be impaired. Friendship can be as undermining. I believe you and the Commander are more than capable of combining a personal and professional relationship. Your maturity far exceeds that of other officers who have successfully managed to."
"Thank you, Tuvok. But I couldn't...I couldn't have a relationship with him. Starfleet protocol forbids fraternization between a Captain and a subordinate."
Tuvok frowned. "I am confused. If you do not intend to have a romantic relationship with the Commander, what are we discussing?"
"Marriage," Kathryn answered. "Chakotay and I would like to get married. Starfleet protocol permits an intimate relationship between a captain and commander who are married."
"That is correct," he said.
"But how would you feel about that, Tuvok? How would feel about us marrying?"
"As a Vulcan, I would feel little. But if you're asking if I approve, then I do."
"Really? You do?"
"And would, even if Chakotay was to remain as First Officer."
Kathryn smiled, her relief visible. "Thank you, Tuvok. Your blessing is important to me. So is the crew's. We won't proceed without it."
"I doubt there will be a single objection. You are not the only one who has feared the Commander's departure. His leaving is a ship-wide fear. The crew will be glad to hear he is not only staying but marrying you. The news will restore their sense of security. There may be a few objections to Carr becoming First Officer, but I doubt many. They will accept that the change is for the best."
"I hope so, Tuvok. I truly hope so."
"They will, Captain. Trust my Vulcan intuition."
As always, Neelix excelled himself in the party he threw for the crew. It was held in the mess hall, beginning at 15:00 hours, and the atmosphere was one of both sadness and joy. Sadness to be saying goodbye to so many friends and comrades, joy at the excitement of new beginnings. At Kathryn's orders, everyone was out of uniform, and the usually quiet mess hall was alive with music, chatter, and laughter.
"I should be mad," Kathryn said to Emma Jacobs as the two women talked in a corner of the room, "I should be furious with you for talking to Chakotay, but I'm glad you did. Things have been left unresolved between us for too long."
"I'll say," Emma smiled. "But I was discreet. I made sure of his feelings before telling him yours."
"Thank you. We needed a nudge and..."
Emma raised an eyebrow.
"Ok," Kathryn laughed, "an almighty push. We also needed an outsider's perspective. At least, I did."
"Sometimes we all do. But don't be too hard on yourself, Kathryn. Your predicament is unenviable. Our captain was lucky in that his wife was already onboard."
"Yes. But to make the decision to settle...that took courage. I don't think I could. I don't think I could ever give up on the hope of home."
"In a situation like ours, every decision is brave." The old woman put her hand on Kathryn's shoulder. "But remember what we talked about last night. You're in no way responsible for your crew's circumstance. Only The Caretaker is to blame."
"I think I finally accept that. All these years I've questioned the decision I made, wondering if I could have got the crew home and destroyed the array, but now I see I did the right thing. You've helped me see that and I thank you."
Emma smiled. "I'm glad to have been of service."
Tom suddenly took to a makeshift stage and addressed the crowd.
"Ladies and gentlemen, Voyagers and guests, may I have your attention please..."
At those words, the room fell silent and every one turned to look at Tom.
"If you're thinking...or rather fearing...that I'm going to make a speech," he teased, "you're right."
The crowd laughed.
"But I promise you that it will be brief and to the point. As I'm sure most of you know by now, B'Elanna Torres and I are leaving Voyager to start a new life on this planet. It isn't a decision we've made lightly, in fact it's one of the hardest decisions we've ever had to make, as Voyager has become our home and all of you our family. But part of being a family is learning to say goodbye. And now that B'Elanna and I are going to have a family of our own..."
There were a few whistles and cheers in the crowd.
"We feel it is time for us to spread our wings and build a nest. But, like everyone else leaving, we will carry our Voyager family in our hearts forever. The last few years have been the best of our lives and we are prouder than proud at all we have achieved. It has been a privilege serving with you all and an honor to have been a part of such an incredible journey. We will have amazing stories to tell our children and grandchildren and, who knows, maybe one day our descendants will meet your descendants. Technology is advancing all the time and a goodbye now doesn't necessarily mean a goodbye forever. We know you will make it home. Captain Janeway, and your determination and courage, will get you there. No crew could have a greater Captain, and no Captain could have a greater crew. We will be with you in thought as you continue on your journey and..." His voice cracked with emotion as he looked at his teary eyed crew and he brought his speech to a close. "And we wish you well."
"We do," B'Elanna said, taking to the stage, "and I know I speak for all us leavers in saying we will miss you...every day. Our lives are infinitely better for having known you all, and we hope, in some small way, that yours are better for having known us. I'm not sorry for a second that we got stranded. I'm glad of it. Voyager has been my happiest home, the only place I've ever belonged. I can never thank Captain Janeway enough for everything she has done for me. For everything she has done for all us Maquis. To her, we have never been misfits. We have always been valuable crew members. Never has she made us feel inferior to her own crew. Starfleet, Maquis, or even from The Equinox, we have all been the same to her. We have all been her crew. Some captains would have kept us confined, others would have had us scrubbing conduits, but Captain Janeway not only integrated us into her crew but gave us responsibilities, responsibilities some might have thought madness. Who makes a Maquis rebel their First Officer? Who makes a Starfleet drop out Chief Engineer? Who makes a convict Chief Helmsman? But to Captain Janeway we weren't just those things. Chakotay, me, Tom...she saw that we were more. To put it plainly, she saw the good in us. She saw it when we couldn't see it in ourselves." A tear escaped the half-Klingon's eye. "I admire her for that, I respect her for that, but most of all I love her."
Tuvok joined her now. "As, I'm sure, do many here. Especially, I am told, Commander Chakotay. In fact, the Commander would like to say a few words."
"That's right," Chakotay said, ascending the stage. "According to rumor, I am leaving this ship, but I assure you all that I am most certainly staying."
At this news, the crowd cheered. Cheered loudly and long.
"But I will not be staying as your First Officer. Commander Carr, the former First Officer of The Travolyn, a highly acclaimed scientist and decorated officer, will be serving as your First Officer instead. I will be your Second"
The crowd buzzed and were clearly unsure what to make of this.
"I'm sure you will all give him a warm welcome," Chakotay went on, "and will give him the dedication and loyalty you have always given me. You are a fine crew and it has been a great privilege to serve as your First Officer all these years. I look forward to being your Second and to the new challenges we face as we journey forwards." He paused. "But that is not the only news I have for you all. However, before I give it, I would like to invite Captain Janeway to the stage."
Eyes turned Kathryn's way and, to cheers, Kathryn took to the stage.
"Six years ago," Chakotay then said, "when we encountered the 37s and were faced with this dilemma of settling or continuing our journey, none of us seriously considered leaving Voyager. Our journey was still new and our hope of getting home in months was high. But six years is a long time, and in that time, hopes, aspirations, and circumstances have changed. Continuing a journey of unknown dangers and uncertain length is no longer the wisest course for a number of our crewmembers. Home is where the heart is, and the heart can sometimes find a home from home. For our crewmembers that are staying, they have found that home from home here. For the rest of us, our home from home continues to be Voyager. But with so many of our colleagues leaving, colleagues we have come to care for, life on Voyager will never be the same again. All of us, from the lowest to the highest ranks on this ship, have had to search our souls over the past few days and assess, or reasses, our positions and relationships. We could get Voyager home next week, or next month, but it could be years before we reach the Alpha Quadrant. An opportunity like this to settle might never come again. But as Voyager is a home, aswell as a starship, and we are a family, aswell as a crew, the Captain and I have never enforced Starfleet's fraternization protocols. We encourage relationships, so long as they are discreet, and welcome marriages, even children. Naomi Wildman has been an asset to Voyager and will be greatly missed." He paused, hesitating. "The Captain and I began this journey, like so many of you, as enemies. But over the last seven years we have, like so many of you, become comrades and friends. The Captain is my best friend, and Tuvok is right in saying I love her. I love her with all that I am. What's more, I'm in love with her. She's the most amazing person I've ever known."
There were a few agreeing cheers and whistles.
"The Captain...whether I am worthy of it or not...loves me too. She has for a long time. We've both loved each other for a long time. But because of our positions on this ship we've never acted on our feelings. We've never really even admitted them to each other. Over the last few days, however, with the choice facing all of us, we've been forced to. But before we are friends, before we are two people who love each other, we are this ship's commanding officers. Like all couples who love each other, and are committed to each other, we would like to get married, but that is a step we will only take with your blessing."
These words caused another buzz, and Kathryn glanced at Chakotay anxiously. Had they overstepped the mark? Were they crazy to even think of this?
Then Neelix jumped onto the stage, unable to contain himself with excitement.
"Oh, Captain, Commander," he cried, grabbing them each in turn and hugging them. "This is such wonderful news! The best of bestest ever! I always knew you loved each other! And of course you have our blessing, of course!" He turned to the crew. "Isn't that right, everyone!"
The crowd cheered and applauded, the volume deafening.
"Thank you," Kathryn said, wiping away a tear. "Thank you, all."
"Oh, no need for thanks!" Neelix exclaimed. "You and Chakotay are the greatest! Congratulations! Oh, I'm so happy I could burst!"
"If you do," Tuvok said, "please make sure it is not over me."
Neelix laughed and put his arm around Tuvok's shoulder. "And they say Vulcan's have no sense of humor!" He then addressed Kathryn. "But when exactly are you getting married, Captain? Today? Because it will have to be before we leave. A captain can't marry herself!"
Tom spoke. "I'm sure there's some regulation that allows it in the event of a starship being lost in space, but I'm also sure I speak for everyone who is leaving in saying we'd hate to miss the big event!"
There were a few agreeing shouts from the crowd.
"So you'd better be marrying today," Tom went on. "We'll never forgive you otherwise!"
"Today and right now," Neelix declared. "So, Captain and Commander, we'd..."
He was interrupted by Naomi who climbed onto the stage. "They can't get married right now, Neelix. The Captain isn't dressed right and we don't have a cake!"
"A cake? Of course, Earth weddings have cakes. And Earth bride's always wear white."
"They do. So they look like princesses. And they always have a bridesmaid."
At this, Kathryn smiled. The child was clearly hinting. "Volunteering yourself, Naomi?"
"I am," she declared.
Neelix spoke before Kathryn had a chance to. "Then you're hired, Naomi! Now, Captain and Commander, get yourselves out of here. We have a wedding to prepare for. You have sixty minutes!"
Just over an hour later, the ceremony was underway. Standing outside the mess hall, breathtakingly beautiful in a white satin gown that made her look every inch a princess, Kathryn waited with Naomi for their cue to enter. In her hands was a lovely bouquet of white and blue roses, and on her feet were silver shoes that glittered like the tiara gracing her now bunned hair. From the tiara, a pretty lace veil fell down her back and kissed the silver sash at her waist. If it hadn't been for Naomi, Kathryn might well have chosen to get married in uniform, but the child had set her heart on a white wedding and Kathryn didn't want to disappoint her. Neither did she mind all the glitz. Quite the contrary, she was secretly glad. It felt good to indulge her femininity, to look like a woman and to feel like one. But as they waited for their cue, Naomi talking nineteen to the dozen, Kathryn's thoughts were light years away. She could hardly believe she was marrying Chakotay, everything had happened so fast, and she couldn't help but wonder if she was dreaming. But if she was dreaming, her mother and sister would be present...perhaps magicked in by Q...but they weren't present. They were at the other side of the galaxy. And the thought of that momentarily brought tears to Kathryn's eyes.
"Alright, ladies," she suddenly heard Neelix say, "you can go in now."
The Talaxian, who must have beamed before them as the mess hall's doors hadn't opened, smiled warmly and gave an encouraging wink. Kathryn smiled back and then, before she knew it, was walking through an aisle of people to an arch of white roses that canopied the stage. Beneath it, Chakotay was standing in a fancy suit of gray, and before him, in a uniform he hadn't worn for years, was Captain James Ellis. Harry was playing the clarinet...the old time favorite 'Here comes the bride'...and Tom Paris, the best man, was standing with Voyager's senior staff, which did not include The Doctor who was filming the event. Time seemed to stand still as Kathryn joined Chakotay under the arch, reality suspended, and then, before their attentive crew, they made vows of marriage to each other. As they did, Chakotay placed a golden ring on Kathryn's finger, and she placed one on his. Then, after Captain Ellis proclaimed them husband and wife, they sealed their union with a kiss. The onlookers cheered and then showered them with rainbow confetti.
When the celebrations were over, including the cutting of a magnificent four tiered wedding cake that had been quickly replicated and decorated by Neelix, it was time for every one to say goodbye to the departing crewmembers. The farewell was to be formal, as was befitting exemplary officers, so everyone left the mess hall to change into their uniforms. Given the momentousness of the occasion, only dress uniform would suffice. When everyone was ready, the Voyager crew lined, in order of rank from the lowest to the highest, the corridors to transporter room one. From there, all departing crewmembers were going to be beamed to the surface. Kathryn waited in the room with Chakotay, Tuvok and Neelix, and Captain Ellis and Admiral Jacobs were also present. It was with wet eyes that the departing Voyagers entered the room, and it took all Kathryn's strength to offer them all a handshake without showing the emotion she felt inside. With Tom, B'Elanna, Seven, Icheb, Samantha and Naomi, it was impossible. In the privacy of the room, she embraced them all, she could do nothing else, and little Naomi clung to her for a long time. Almost as long as she'd clung to Neelix. Kathryn had expected the departure to be exceptionally hard for the child, for Voyager was all she had ever known, and had prepared.
"I have something for you, Naomi," she said, drawing the child away. "Something special."
With that, she reached into a pocket and pulled out a little red velvet pouch.
"I had this made especially for you."
Naomi took the pouch. "What is it?"
"Open the pouch and see."
Naomi opened the pouch and pulled out a sparkling silver necklace. Hanging from it was a beautiful silver pendant of Voyager, the 'blue eye' a glittering sapphire.
"It's a necklace," Naomi smiled. "Of Voyager."
"Not just a necklace," Kathryn told her, "but a data device. It contains hundreds of photos of our journey, videos of all our special times, your holoprograms just as you left them, and messages from all of us just for you."
A tear ran down the child's cheek. "Really? Messages just for me?"
Kathryn nodded. "And much more besides."
Samantha spoke. "That's very good of you, Captain. Thank you."
"The thanks are all mine," Kathryn smiled. "You've been an exemplary Captain's Assistant, Naomi. I will miss you."
"I'll miss you too," Naomi said. "I've loved being your assistant...and bridesmaid."
"I've loved having you as both."
"Are their pictures of the wedding in my necklace?"
"There sure are."
"Then I'm going to print one of us, frame it, and keep it by my bed. I already have one of Neelix and the crew."
Touched, Kathryn reached out and put her hand to the child's cheek. "I'll do the same. But I won't need a picture to remember you. You'll be in my heart...and all our hearts...forever."
"That's right," Neelix said, visibly emotional. "But you'd better get going now. Everyone is waiting."
Kathryn could see that this parting was hard for him, that he wanted to hurry it along before he broke down, so she sped things up.
"Goodbye, Naomi," she said. "You too, Samantha. I wish you both every happiness in your new life."
Samantha wiped away a tear. "Thank you, Captain. We wish you every happiness too and a safe journey home."
The two women embraced, shook hands, and then the Starfleet officer and her daughter stepped onto the transporter pad. Moments later, they were gone.
Gone like all the others.
No more left to leave.
Gently, Emma put her hand on Kathryn's shoulder. "We'll take care of them all, Captain. We promise you that."
"I don't doubt it," Kathryn replied. "They're all going to have a wonderful life with you. But take especial care of Seven. She's not as tough as she seems."
"I'll personally take her under my wing."
"Thank you."
Emma then held out a padd. "When you get to Earth, I'd be very grateful if you could give this to my family. It contains messages, pictures and videos that I'd like them to have."
Kathryn took the padd. "I'll see that they get it."
Captain Ellis spoke. "Now it's our turn to say goodbye to our settlers leaving for Voyager. Are you ready for them?"
Kathryn nodded.
"Then I'll give the word."
With that, he hit his commbadge, connected to an official on the surface, and then gave the go ahead for transport. Seconds later, a group of eighteen men and women, all in Starfleet uniform, materialized on the transporter pad.
"Welcome to Voyager," Kathryn smiled. "We are delighted to have you join us on our journey."
Commander Carr, a ruggedly handsome man with sleek silver hair and blue eyes, thanked Kathryn on everyone's behalf, and then the small group of officers said goodbye to Captain Ellis and Admiral Jacobs. The farewell was moving, as was to be expected, and then Captain Ellis and Admiral Jacobs said goodbye to Kathryn and her senior officers.
When they were gone, and all departures and arrivals were done, Kathryn turned to Voyager's new arrrivals.
"Now that you're here," she said, "we'll get down to work immediately. Ensigns and Lieutenants, I have conduits for you to scrub. Commander Carr, I have a sewage system for you to fix."
The group looked at their new captain in mortification and Kathryn laughed.
"I'm only kidding. I might be a workhorse, but I'm not a slave driver."
At that, the group laughed.
"Take the new few days to settle in. Your quarters, I'm pleased to say, are ready...even yours, Commander Carr, as Chakotay has vacated. On Monday I will formally welcome you all into our crew and I'll meet with you individually to discuss roles and responsibilities." She addressed a young man who had chestnut hair and hazel eyes. "Jason Jakes, I am very impressed with your Starfleet record, especially the aviation prizes you have won, and would like to offer you the position of Chief Pilot. Do you accept?"
The man smiled, clearly delighted. "I do, Captain. It will be an honor. Thank you."
Kathryn smiled back and liked this man already. He had an infectious smile, a kind face, and a friendly manner.
Neelix, who had remained quiet as long as he could, finally spoke.
"If you don't know already," he said, "I'm Neelix. Morale Officer, Chief Cook, and a hundred things besides. If you have any dietary requirements, or any favorite foods, don't hesitate in letting me know. I serve to please and am pleased to serve."
Commander Carr smiled. "Thank you, Neelix. I'll eat anything, but Lisa Martin is vegan, Josie Manx fruitarian, and Horis Kent Kosher. I'm sure they'll be glad of your personal menu service."
Neelix nodded, satisfied, and smiled at the group.
"Now," Kathryn said, "we'd better get ourselves out of here before our crew get cramp! They've been lining the corridor for over an hour. Commander Carr, I'll introduce you to everyone as we leave. You too, Jason Jakes. The rest of you I will introduce on Monday."
The group were happy with that so Kathryn, with Commander Carr and Jason Jakes beside her, left the room. The rest of the newcomers followed, with Chakotay, Tuvok and Neelix behind.
It was well passed midnight before something resembling normality returned to the ship. Alone in her quarters, surrounded by Chakotay's belongings which had been hastily removed from his quarters, Kathryn stood before a window and looked out at the stars flying by at warp speed. Travolyn was already millions of miles away and so too were her beloved crewmembers. But they were starting a new life, an exciting life, and so was she. From now on everything was going to be different.
Suddenly, the door chime played. Thinking it was Tuvok, or Neelix, Kathryn turned to the door.
"Come in!"
To her great amusement, Chakotay entered.
"Oh, Chakotay," she laughed. "You don't need to ring. You..." At the twinkle in his eyes, she saw that he was teasing. "And you know you don't have to, teaser."
Chakotay smiled and closed the gap between them. "I almost did, though...ring. I guess old habits die hard."
"I guess they do. I think it'll be a while before the reality of today sinks in. For all of us."
Chakotay nodded.
"But despite all the departures today," Kathryn continued, "the crew seem to be in good spirits and are very optimistic about the future." She smiled. "So am I."
Chakotay smiled back and was just about to speak when Tuvok, over the comm, beat him to it.
"Tuvok to Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay," he said. "Stand by for transport."
Kathryn questioned. "Transport?"
"In approximately ten seconds."
He then closed their connection and, before Kathryn and Chakotay knew it, they were dematerializing and rematerializing somewhere else.
Somewhere warm and cozy.
A log cabin.
A luxurious log cabin in the heart of majestical, snowcapped, mountains. In a stone chimney a fire was blazing, and before the fire, on a pinewood table, a bottle of champagne rested in a bucket of ice. Beside the bucket were two tall crystal glasses, and beside the glasses was a large gold box that was wrapped with red ribbon.
"Captain and Commander, welcome to your honeymoon, " Tuvok said over the comm. "Enjoy your weekend."
Kathryn opened her mouth to protest, but Tuvok hadn't finished.
"And before you object, the crew and I insist. We have rearranged our shifts and you are both off duty until noon on Monday. See you then. Tuvok out."
The connection then terminated and all went silent, except for the crackling of the fire.
"Well," Kathryn said, turning to Chakotay. "It looks like we're honeymoon hostages."
"Yes," Chakotay laughed.
"We should have known the crew would get up to something. They wouldn't let us marry and be done with it! But do you think they'll be ok? With Tom and B'Elanna gone, Seven too, do you think they'll manage?"
Chakotay smiled. "We haven't left them, Kathryn. We're only on the holodeck."
"I know, but to let them fend for themselves for a whole weekend. One of us is always on duty."
"It'll do them good. Besides, this space is as safe as space can be." He drew Kathryn into his arms. "Sometimes, Kathryn Janeway, you worry too much."
Kathryn smiled, cherishing the feel of his arms around her and the newness of slipping hers around his neck. "I do, don't I?"
He nodded, relishing her closeness too.
"But I'll try not to from now on," she said. "Because everything is different now. Not just between us but within myself. I know I did the right thing in destroying the array. For years I've questioned that decision, even tortured myself about it, but I see now that I really had no choice. If we'd used the array to get home, we could have caused a disaster. We're lucky we didn't cause one by destroying it."
"We are. It could easily have happened. But what helped you to see all this? Emma Jacobs?"
Kathryn nodded. "She also told me something strange. Remember those dreams I said I was having? About me as an admiral and a Borg transwarp hub?"
"Yes."
"Well, a friend of hers...a Reylin with psychic ability...saw that older admiral. She was standing behind me, just for a second, and was transparent like a ghost."
"That is strange," Chakotay agreed. "Any thoughts?"
"A few. I think someone in some time...maybe an older me...was sending me messages in my dreams. Messages to help me change the future. I did that by changing our course...remember how I told you I had bad feelings about some routes?...but that changing our course wasn't enough. To stop that future from happening I needed to change too. I needed to stop punishing myself for destroying the array and start embracing the journey. I think the Admiral that Emma's friend saw was a manifestation of my guilt and regret. A ghost of my own making. But she doesn't haunt me now, Chakotay." Tears of joy filled her eyes. "Finally, after all these years, I'm free."
Tenderly, Chakotay put his hand to her cheek. "I'm glad to hear it, Kathryn. You deserve to know true peace."
"So do you...my angry warrior."
"I do. Finally, I do. And I'm not angry anymore. I haven't been for a long time. I love my life now. I love you."
Kathryn smiled. "I love you too. And I'm glad we got stranded. I'm glad you came into my life."
"Ditto."
They gazed into each other's eyes, losing themselves, and then kissed softly.
When at last they parted, Kathryn took his hand in hers and pulled him towards the fire.
"Come on," she said. "Let's unwrap our present, which I'm guessing is from the crew, and open that bottle of champagne."
Chakotay sat with her on a couch before the fire, a red velvet couch that was heavenly comfortable, and together they opened the glittering gold box. Inside was a wedding card, signed by every member of the crew, and two matching 'his and hers' blue satin robes. Their initials were embroidered on both and were gorgeously entwined.
"Oh, Chakotay," Kathryn said. "How lovely. Our favorite color too..."
There was also a pair of coffee mugs in the box, white ones with 'Mr' and 'Mrs' on them respectively, and an exquisite heart shaped vase of red glass on which was engraved: Captain Janeway & Commander Chakotay, congratulations on your wedding. May your love forever shine like the stars. From the crew of The USS Voyager.
Kathryn touched the words. "How beautiful. Terribly formal, but beautiful."
Chakotay smiled. "I doubt they dared be personal. Might land them in the brig."
Kathryn looked up. "For a month on bread and water."
"Yes," he laughed, "though I'm sure The Doctor would have something to say about that."
They smiled at each other, then Chakotay gazed at her hair. It was still bunned after their wedding and looked beautiful in the firelight. Kathryn saw that he was looking, and looking with pleasure, and spoke.
"Like my bun, Sir?"
He nodded. It had always been his favorite of her hairstyles, perhaps because it was the most feminine, and he'd missed it."
"Then maybe I'll keep it."
Chakotay smiled, delighted, and Kathryn kissed him softly. Then she picked up the bottle of champagne and opened it. As she did, a fountain of frothy bubbles rained down upon them and they laughed.
"Let's make a toast," she said after filling their glasses to the brim. "To us, to our crew, to the absent and departed, and to new beginnings."
Chakotay raised up his glass. "To us and to that."
They knocked their glasses together, took a sip of bubbly, and then sealed their toast with a kiss.
THE END
