Tobias Eaton
"So you snowboard?"
"Yeah I'm good but not great. Let's just say I'm okay." I shrug.
"Ha! Fours being modest! Something must be up!" I hit Zeke's helmet causing him to swivel. His fake beard sways along. Uriah has one to match, it's suppose to keep you warm. For them it's just funny.
"It's true your not being your usual Dick self." Uriah this time is the one to be smacked.
Tris chuckles at both of the boys. Her laugh is adorable.
"Shauna and I are going on the easy ones first is that okay?" Christina asks slipping on her gloves. All of us nod but Tris.
"I guess I will meet you all at the bottom then." She says putting on her sunglasses. Her long brunette hair hangs out of the red beanie. Draping her small frame.
"Where do you think your going?" Al lowers his glasses while speaking.
"Dead Mans Trail." She says sheepishly.
"Do you want to die?"
"For once Dipshit is right. That is the hardest slope Tris! It goes straight down." Lynn yells at her.
"You didn't speak to my mother long I can tell." She chuckles and then skis toward the trail. All of us follow and watch her. Sure enough the slope is a giant drop.
I hate heights, but I have is urge to follow her. Something about being close to her. My friends look shocked as I ski up next to her. My body uncontrollably trembles at the sight. Seeing the earth drop before me, nothing to stop it.
"Your afraid of heights." She looks me dead in the eye.
"Yeah I am." I scratch the back of my neck.
"You don't have to do this. You can go back."
"No I will."
"It's okay everyone's afraid of something." Her hand grasps mine. She gives me a reassuring squeeze.
"Not you, god Tris. Are you even human for wanting to do this?" She chuckles.
"The only way to face your fear is head on." She tells me before letting go. Her body leaning foreword. Flying downward.
She looks like an angel at peace. Flying into an infinite.
I force my body foreword. Next thing I know I am the one hurdling downwards. The wind gushing at my sides. Every muscle in my body at ease. Relaxed at the coursing through air.
Once my body reaches flat ground I stop myself. Sliding right next to Tris.
"How was it?" She asks with her lips curving to a smile.
"I might have enjoyed it a lot." My lips tug into a smile and I give in. This girl can make me smile any day.
"What do you want to do while we wait for them?" We both ski to the lift and lean against the fence.
"How about we get to know each other? Like a question for a question." I ask.
"I would like that very much."
"What is your favorite color?"
"Blue. What's yours?"
"Grey."
"Hmm grey. I like grey too it was always the dullest color, meaning it could only get better." If I could just bottle everything that comes out of her mouth. It's all pure.
"Any hobbies I don't know?"
"You know I sing, dance, and game. So you don't know I love night games."
"Night games?"
"Yeah. It was selfish, my parents thought, to play those games at night instead of helping. So when we were allowed it was my favorite thing. Any hobbies for you?"
"You know you should come up with your own questions too." I raise an eyebrow at her. She shakes her head at me.
"But you know how I sing, play football, and play soccer. I also do some ballroom dancing, not that it's something to be proud of." Looking away from her I shrug. Why did I say the least manly thing?
"You should be proud of ballroom dancing. It's takes a real man to dance that. Eventually if you keep under estimating yourself you will believe it."
We are interrupted by the sound of a strangling cat. Uriah is wailing as he drops down a steep slope. Not as deep as the one we went down, but still steep.
Zeke is right behind him laughing his ass off. Lynn seems to be crying when she comes down. From the right the rest ski and board over to us.
"Tris now I have to call you a badass for that stunt." His beard muffles part of the words.
"Don't try and flatter me Uriah. I'm not by any stretch of an imagination a badass."
"You play poker, video games, and ski those slopes! You are a badass!" He throws his hands up in emphasis.
"I read, sing, dance, keep to myself, take higher level classes, and avoid others. That's not a badass. So don't define me." Shes not just one thing she can't be defined.
"Higher level my ass. You could be done with school already." Al huffs. Tris rolls her eyes and changes the subject.
"Alright I know not all of you will go with me. So let's divide." She suggests. The groups end up to be Zeke, Shauna, Marlene, and Uriah.
Christina, Will, Al, and Lynn.
Tris and I are in a group by ourselves. Because none of them would want to go on any slopes we would. Zeke and Uriah will end up dividing and teaching the girls tricks. Showing off since neither of them have the balls to ask them out. While Lynn will most likely push Al; sending him tumbling down the bunny hill. Then Christina and Will are going to be skiing together down easy slopes.
That leaves Tris and I. For once I am excited to be alone with someone. It's also someone I feel close and trusted to.
"Coming Four?" Tris snaps me out of my thought. She's waiting for me to join her on the ski lift. I will need to join her too. I love skiing and snowboarding, but the flaw is the height for me.
"Back to our game." I sit on the black and red lift. Gripping onto the edges and looking only at Tris.
"Are you okay Tobias? Should we have taken the rope tow?" Her voice is sweet and filled with concern.
"No. I just need to not think about heights. Or look down."
"Just checking you look like a ghost." She smiles at me. Trying to lighten the air.
"Where are you from?" She looks all around as we move, while I stare at her head. Avoiding on noticing my surroundings.
"About 2 hours outside of Chicago. In a town called Bettendorf, but the groups of cities it's on is called the Quad Cities. The group is of Iowa and Illinois border cities, by the Mississippi. Even if it's an Iowa town it's not too small, or a farm town."
"You've got to be kidding me."
"What? You don't believe me that we aren't just tractor people?"
"No! It's just I'm from Davenport. Your city is my neighbor, so I'm also from the Quad Cities."
"Shut up!" She seems to not want to believe it.
"I'm serious! I went to Assumption for high school. That's how I met Zeke, Will, and Uriah, through sports. They went to Pleasant Valley."
"You went to Ass High?" Her eyebrow raises and she smirks at me. Assumption got the nickname Ass high from the Bettendorf kids. If it was my choice I would have gone to bettendorf.
"Look who's talking. Wouldn't you be one of the Bettendorf Bitches?" I smirk back at her. That's was what Bettendorf was called by other schools.
"Yeah! And proud of it!"
"Bettendorf Bitches just made you all prouder. Didn't it?"
"Yep! But look at this, we can call Uriah and Zeke onion pickers."
"Onion Pickers?"
"Yeah we called them Onion Pickers since they have an onion field by their school. It pisses them off."
"They will be so pissed. But that's what makes it perfect."
"Hate to end this but time to get off." Now I can actually look away. Seeing the ground I get ready to stand. Both of us stand and ski over to a large his. Unlike the previous drop this one is more rural and longer. The snow is powdered and not packed into ice.
"See you at the bottom Ass boy!" She speeds down and I ski after her.
"Not if I can help!"
.
Beatrice Prior
.
I'm Falling.
Hard
I'm falling for him and I can't. Before I shut him out but now I can't. Now he's getting to me. Reminding me of why that night was so great. It seems as if I'm living the happy ever after right now. With both of us laughing and talking. Staring at each other and smiling back.
Except if I fall I might hurt him. I would want to tell him. Then he would be crushed, because I'm not that girl he danced with. Yes she is me but I am Tris. His friend, and that's it. Even if I wanted it to be more I can't do it.
Breaking him would be shattering myself to no end.
.
"Im starving! Let's get lunch!" Uriah whines.
"Has to be close otherwise we waste ski time." Marlene says to him. I notice now her hand is fitted inside his.
"Sushi Den!" I say sliding my glasses up. They sit firmly on the red beanie.
"Fine with me. Any objections on this sushi place?" Christina says removing her gloves.
No one says anything so we all pile in the rental. After changing of course to normal clothes.
We searched the restaurant on Wills phone and then Al drove us there. Lynn also commented how he was a slow and annoying driver, which received a comment telling her that the speed limit isn't slow. Once in the Sushi Den we are seated at a circular table. Sitting down I am in between Al and Lynn; across from me is Zeke and Four. The waitress flaunts over towards us and stops at Four and Zeke.
"My my, well isn't it The Chasm. How can I help you today?" She places her hand on Zeke's shoulder. His eyes go wide and he makes faces. Scrunching up his nose and glaring at her hand. The waitress can't even notice his grimace of her hand.
"Do you mind removing your hand please? And I will have a water." Shauna's face is covered by the menu as she speaks. In her voice you can sense the hint of jealousy.
"He seems fine with my hand. And like I need to listen to you? As I remember this boy is single."
"Sorry I'm not single." Zeke finally speaks. Shauna's face looks hurt by his statement.
"Yeah you are? Don't lie to make her feel better." The waitress teases twirling her horrendously dyed red hair.
"I'm not, it's you who's spoiling my surprise. Shauna would you like to be my girlfriend?" Zeke smirks at Shauna. She smiles back at him and then glares at the woman.
"Once her hands removed I'm all yours."
"You heard my girlfriend, remove your hand." The waitress screams in frustration and stomps off. Shauna trades places and sits next to Zeke. He kisses her on the cheek and she blushes.
"Finally! I was waiting till you got the balls to ask!" Tobias groans. Zeke just rolls his eyes.
A waiter this time walks up to us, a grin plastered on his face. He has caramel colored skin and chocolate brown hair. With golden brown eyes. I notice Al staring at him.
"My names Fernando. Your lunch is on me today, because you got rid of my bitch coworker." We all tell what drinks we want to Fernando. Then I order all the sushi, since for some it's their first time.
"Damn!" Al mumbles as the waiter walks away. I think someone has a crush...he he.
The sushi doesn't take long to come. Fernando winks at Al before leaving the table. It's visible that Al blushes.
"OH MY GOD!" Lynn screeches and I loose myself and laugh. Al's blush has profusely grown redder.
"What's so funny?" Marlene quips with her usually sweet smile.
"Nothing. They are just immature, both of you shut up." Al grumbles. Lynn by now is crying from laughter. We need to get his number for Al.
"I call being the maid of honor!" I shout at Lynn.
"Ha! I call being the drunk lady in the back laughing!" We both shake hands and Al folds his arms over his chest pouting.
"If you two don't shut up your not invited." Al mumbles. So Lynn and I zip our mouths, while she clears the tears away.
"I really feel like we missed something there."
"No dip Sherlock!" Zeke says to Will.
"Let's eat I'm hungry!" Uriah chants as he tucks his napkin in his shirt. With that I pick up my chopsticks and eat a peanut roll. The others pick up one and try it.
As I see Fernando come out of the kitchen I get up. My excuse is to use the bathroom, but instead I go to Fernando. I start out.
"So I was wondering..."
"Oh! Did you think I was flirting with you? I'm sorry but I was flirting with the guy next to you." I chuckle a little bit.
"I know. That's why I'm here. Could I get your number to set you two up? By the way I'm Tris."
"Definitely Tris. I will write my number down right now for you. So what's cuties name?" He says scratching his phone number on the back of an old check.
"Albert, but he likes to be called Al."
"Al hmmm I like it. Fits his teddy bear looks." He says handing me the paper.
"Bye thanks!"
"No, thank you!" I walk back to the table and join the group in eating.
We make small talk as we eat. Uriah eyeing some of the fish suspiciously. Zeke decides to try wasabi and ends up burning his mouth. He drank three waters after that.
"I can't believe you ate that much wasabi! I'm so proud of my onion picker." Zeke drops his chopsticks in mid air. His mouth drops to the floor and I receive a death glare.
"WHAT THE HELL? WHERE DID YOU HEAR TH.."
"Oops did I step on one of your onions? I hope I didn't spoil it." I smile sweetly at him. Uriah has joined with Zeke, as Tobias seems amused.
"Bettendorf Bitch?" Uriah speaks low as if I'm a criminal.
"That's right. Better bow to your queen bitch, farmer."
"You heard her." Tobias smirks.
"Shut up Ass High." All three of us snap at him. Then we laugh at our comment, and Tobias grumbles.
"So your from Bettendorf?" Christina questions.
"Yep, born and raised."
"That's cool! Lynn, Shauna, and I are from LeClaire. So we are onion Pickers too."
"Chicago girl all the way!" Christina screams.
They get in a discussion about which city is better. While I stare deep into those blue eyes. Melting through my tough exterior and into the gooey center.
I am not strong, pretty, ugly, brave, or selfless I tell myself. I am too selfish and I don't deserve him.
.
"I'm not feeling to great right now. Don't worry it's just a head ache. Go on will it me, I'll stay in the lodge. I insist." I lie to them as they ski off. It took more convincing for Tobias to leave.
Running into the bathroom I change into different ski gear. To be exact it's my Six snowboard gear. I have to make some appearances according to Tori.
A white sweater with a large, black snowflake. Black leggings, sunglasses, white beanie, and a pinkish orange coat.
As I walk outside I make my way to a group of teens. They are singing Shower.
"You like Six?" I ask coming up to them.
"Who doesn't!?" One of the girls squeals.
"Can I say she is hot!" On of the boys says. I blush at his comment.
"What if I told you she's here?"
"Don't lie! She's not here."
"Take a closer look." I take off my glasses. Their faces drop and the girls squeal.
"Would you like autographs and pictures? I end up signing their phone cases and taking some pictures with them.
"I'm gonna go board see ya!" I wave goodbye at my fans and make it to the slope. Putting on my glasses.
I ride down and sing as I ride. Attracting attention from my fans as I work down. Grinding my board on the icy snow.
Once I reach the lift I have fans with their phones asking for autographs. What's with people and wanting their iPhone signed!?
Apparently Six is hot, and not Tris. Because now I am getting hit on endlessly.
"Hey could we get your autographs please?" A tall darker skinned boy with curly hair asks me. Next to him looks like his girlfriend. She tall and a darker skin too. Except her hair is long and tighter curls. Slouching by her looks like it could be her brother. He has the similar lanky figure minus the height. Instead he's very short and young.
"Sure! Can I ask what's your favorite song?"
"Break Free. I just love the sound track!" The girl states handing me her iPod. I guess it's music related why not?
"So who's do I get to make this out to?"
"CeCe please. C E C E, but capital C's. Thanks!"
Break Free CeCe~ Love Six
"Any more?" I say handing her the iPod.
"No, but girl I got a bullet that can break your titanium. Damn!" The brother says looking me up and down.
"Derek that was the most perverted thing I have heard! Your fourteen! She's in her twenties! That's nasty you twit! I'm so sorry!" She screams at him and apologizes to me.
"No your fine. No need to apologize for him. People just use their mouth to compensate their lack of." Her mouth drops and her boyfriend is laughing. The brother stomps off.
"Sorry if that was rude, but he needed to learn that's not how you get girls." I say.
"It worked better then me yelling at him. And Charlie thought it was funny!"
"To defend myself your shit of a brother hates me so it's only even." He puts his hands up in defense.
"Well thanks for that and this!" She holds up the iPod and skis off.
Waiting in line for the chair lift I hear a mother.
"What do you mean we can't have three on the lift? I can't send my son alone and she is too young to just go with him!"
"I'm sorry miss only two a seat." A mother should never worry about losing her child or putting them in a bad situation.
"Hi miss! I can ride with your daughter if you want. I see she's a fan of me." I pull down my glasses. The little girl squeals in excitement, pointing at her Rather Be shirt.
"Oh my your Six! Are you sure?"
"Positive. I would love to ride with your little girl."
"Thank you so much! I don't know what I would have done without you!" She thanks me as her son and her get on the lift.
"So what's your name sweetie?"
"Caroline, but everyone calls me care bear." She beams up at me.
"How old are you Caroline?"
"I am Six! Just like your name!" She giggles. Her brown pigtails bobbing up and down.
"Is this your first time skiing?" She nods her head vigorously.
"When I was about your age my mommy took me skiing too."
"Can I have your autograph please?" She looks at me with puppy eyes.
"If I can get a picture with you?"
"Deal!" I place a dash mark by the Rather be and sign. Then she and I take a picture together. The picture is beautiful, the trees and snow are in the background.
"Time to get off." We both slide off and she rushes to her mom.
"She signed my shirt! My shirt!" She tells her mother.
"Thanks for sitting with me Caroline! Have a good time!" I tell her before ridding to another slope. Her small hand waves at me as she leaves.
The wind against my skin feels free. It gives me time to think.
I so desperately want to tell him. Tell him that I am his lost girl. I want to be able to be seen with him. Holding hands, kissing, and being together. The only issue is I just can't. I am too selfish to even think that I could have him. He is strong, beautiful, caring, wise, and selfless. I don't deserve him, he deserves someone else. A strong, kind, brave, beautiful, happy, and whole person; not a weak pitted little girl.
He is still in love with the girl from that night, but I'm not sure if I'm her. She was radiant, clever, tasteful, amiable, and one of a kind; these things I am not. He fell in love with her and still is. If I was ever to tell him it would be when he falls in love with me the true me.
But let's face facts, that will never happen.
At the bottom I see two silly black beards. They hang from two very tall tan boys, ones I know too well. Let's say hello, Six style.
I board up and tilt myself; spraying snow in their faces. Both of them seem pissed off at my action.
"What the hell was that for!" Uriah growls. Wow I never realized he couldn't be like a puppy.
"There's people watching me, ah, I never miss a beat." I whisper sing in Zeke's ear. With my beanie and glasses they can't tell it's Tris, Beauty, or Six. Except that tells him I'm Six.
"Oh My God! Sorry I thought that was a complete stranger!" He exclaims letting out a breath.
"Who is it Zeke?"
"Uriah meet a Six. Six this is my brother Uriah." Uriah squeals.
"I love your music! I call doing the next song with you!" He squeaks as Zeke face palms.
"Excuse my pansycake of a brother." I just wave it off and Zeke speaks.
"Hey guys it's Six!" He calls behind me. Shit! I was thinking they would be not on the same slope. Shit! Shit! Shit!
"Six how are you?" Lynn comes up and hugs me. Then whispers something in my ear.
"Headache my ass." She smiles at me and Al can't wipe his smug grin.
"Can we take a picture? I was asked by Tori to start you an Instagram." She suggests. We all crowd together. We as in Chasm and I. Lynn takes the picture and smiles at me. She's having too much fun with this.
"Got to go! Bye!" I shout speeding off. If they get curious on my voice and compare it it's too late. Because I am already on the lift. I call this Six interaction good for the day. Let's change to Tris now. The day is over by now anyway.
.
"You missed it! Six was here!"
"Damnit!" I shout lying through my teeth.
"You must have no luck. You keep missing out on her." Will tells me as he drives the car.
"Yep that's it." I mumble causing Al to laugh.
"Why you laughing big bear?" Marlene asks him. She's so sweet and kind.
"You all need to consider tapping a recorder to her." He jokes and the others shrug it off.
"How's the Instagram?" Shauna asks Lynn.
"Good! I just found her picture from the Faction off. I posted that and one of her flipping her blonde hair." Did. She. Just. Really. Say. Blonde.
"Shut Up! I just figured out who the BEAUTY OF DAUNTLESS IS!" Zeke screams in the car.
"Who?" Tobias attention has been captured.
"Six! I never realized before but now I see the connection. Always hidden, beautiful, singing and dancing go together, short, and blonde! That's why you saw her outside the studio! The red Beatle is Six's and Beauty of Dauntless' car!" He exclaims.
Part of my cover has been blown.
"Lynn show me a picture of her!" Lynn looks at me. I shrug allowing her to show him. Brown and blonde are completely different.
"Here this is her." She hands him the phone and he gasps. Tobias looks at the picture in awe.
"It's her." He whispers. It hurts to hold it in. I bite my tongue before my heart can speak.
"We have to call Tori and get her name. Or room number!" Zeke exclaims.
"No, her identity is secret and that's how she wants it kept."
"Lynn you don't realize this is Four's girl. It's a match made in heaven!"
"Zeke I don't care. Her contract specifies her name not being released, like Four's here."
"Four and Six! Ten!" Christina squeals. Arguing between Zeke and Lynn break out. Christina and Marlene talk about Ten. While Tobias sits there quietly until his voice quivers a whisper.
"Is she hiding from me?"
.
Tobias Eaton
.
I can't figure it out?
Beauty of Dauntless and Tris.
Tris sounds just like her. Her sweet angelic voice; the bubbly innocent laugh. She's petite just like her. Her facial features tell me it's her too.
But the thing I remember clearly is the blonde head running up the stairs. Running away from the night.
Tris is a brunette not blonde. She can't be her, but I want her to be. The only thing holding me back is her hair and name, but what is that to matter? When she is a spitting image of her. Tris makes my emotions open just like she did.
Should I give up my search and try with Tris?
I can't. I owe it to her to finish the search.
.
My thoughts are disturbed by a scream next door. Not a blood curdling scream, but a faint cry.
Hoping out of bed I open the door to Tris's room. Inside Al is snoring away, while Tris thrashes in her sleep. She is mumbling words and whimpers. Her body is distressed and crying out for help. Droplets lie on her forehead from the dream.
She's having a nightmare
Sitting on the bed I place my hand on her jaw. Stroking her cheek to wake her up. She bolts awake and tears fill the brim of her eyes. Her body trembles in fear and anxiety.
"Tris it's okay it was just a nightmare." I whisper to her. Causing her head to whip in my direction. Her eyes staring straight into me. Holding her emotions back and tears as well.
"It's okay you can cry. You don't have to act tough for me, I already know you are." Tris's frail arms wrap around my waist. Embedding her head into my chest. Not crying in my chest but breathing softly. My arms snake around her and embrace the hug. Stoking her hair as she pieces together.
Should I really be looking for someone if I have all I want right here?
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*IM NOT DEAD! It was very touching for all of you to care about me that much! I was honored to have messages concerned if I had writers block, illness, pain, family issues, or if I was upset! You all must really love my story! The reason I did not post was because of Homecoming was last week and I had extra activities and stuff to do. So I think posting a decent chapter was better then a short piece of shit I would hate later. So I am sorry and I hope that you can forgive me.
Am I allowed to vent to all of you? Well I need to right now. So if I get crap from people I deal with it. Like little comments from others on me, but today was not one of those. Today I would have to say that is was one of the worst days in this year. During class I was criticized and personally attacked. Two girls decided to do anything to make me upset and hurt me, why I have no clue! I am literally voted one of the nicest people! It started by one comment. That I was always right in math, because I am smart. Then the girls started, let's call them E and J. E says that it's false I'm usually wrong and J says yeah I definitely have been right over her many times. Then they said my style was weird and ugly. Like my personality and my hair. Cause freckles, brown hair, and dimples are ugly! I was called a uptight prude. I apparently cuss like an old person and it's just wrong. I am a size 4 or 6 due to my height otherwise Im a 2, and they called me FAT! Comment from E I mean that belly. What struck worse was E said Your ugly kidding JK. I know I'm not pretty and attractive, no matter what anyone says. But I don't need to be reminded of it. The comments continued too,'I should try pigtails' 'No those are for prudes' 'To be sure let's ask MT' 'MT so do you wear pigtails ever?' I'm sorry to vent to all of you but I needed to. I haven't told anyone but one person because I just don't tell people much of this stuff. I never really get the chance. So it's nice not to bottle it up.
Again SORRY! Please review and I love all of you! Bye my Darlings!
*MT
