"So, Kaoru, what do you think?" Kaoru's identical twin, Hikaru, caressed a large, dead bass between his hands. "Since Honey was gone for the day, he needs to re-do host club initiation right?"

"Guess so, but we used the fish-in-the-locker initiation on him last time. You think we should something different?" Kaoru eyed the fish. Unlike his brother, Kaoru got nauseous very easily and the thought of handling a rotting fish all day made his stomach turn.

"Ooh," Hikaru tossed the bass nonchalantly over his shoulder, "You mean like the one where we make him dress in girls clothes and-"

"No, not that one! I mean like maybe the one where we crouch on the balcony over the entrance hall and drop water balloons full of yogurt on him."

"Oh, that one… Well," Hikaru slunk towards his brother and laced their hands together. "If that's what you want, Kaoru. We can do anything you want."

"Hikaru!" Kaoru yowled. "When you say things like that it makes me blush!"

"But Kaoru, we're alone… No one will see you blush," Hikaru whispered fondly. What events occurred after that, I'm afraid, are not appropriate for a T rating.

Shigure was quite happy indeed. He was sitting in an exceptionally comfortable chair, reading an exceedingly racy, erm, picture book, and popping jellybeans into his mouth here and there. He gave a satisfied little sigh and scratched his head, obviously just content to be in this position all morning. And he would have stayed like that, too, if Yuki and Kyo hadn't smashed, punching all the way, through a nearby wall.

"Erm, Yuki and Kyo, settle down now!" Shigure said once he had stuffed his book under a couch cushion.

"Stay out of this!" Kyo cried.

"Yes, Shigure, let us settle this ourselves please." Yuki added.

"You're going to wake up Momiji," Shigure warned.

"Who the hell cares?! The little runt has been sleeping all morning!" Kyo barely dodged Yuki's fist.

"Wait, storming today. Shouldn't you be all dreary, Kyo?" Shigure queried.

"Yeah, but I've gotta beat this damn rat someday, right?" Kyo snarled.

"I don't think-"Shigure began, but he was interrupted by a long, low growling sound.

"What's that?" Yuki looked away from fighting Kyo. The three listened quietly for a minute, and then the door swung open and Honey marched in.

"What two idiots," he said slowly. "Woke me from my nap?"

"Whaddya gonna do about it, shrimp? Ya were sleeping late anyway." Kyo pointed out. Honey needed no further proof. He hurled himself at Yuki and Kyo, taking them both off guard, and quickly and successfully beat them both to the ground.

"Now apologize for waking me up!" Honey rumbled.

"Wait a second! You can't possibly be Momiji! He could never beat me in a fight, let alone Yuki. Who the hell are you?" Kyo was only crazy talking, but it did put an idea in both Yuki and Shigure's minds.

"Say, Kyo may be on to something," Shigure declared.

"Yes, Momiji just isn't strong enough to defeat us." Yuki agreed.

"So, Honey Haninozuka, was it?" Shigure raised an eyebrow.

"Haha, yup! How'd you know?" Honey laughed, rocking back on the balls of his feet.

"Where the hell is Momiji, then?" Kyo's ruby eyes narrowed.

"Oh, he's at where I live, Ouran Academy. We switched places just for fun!"

"Well," Shigure sniffed, "no harm done I suppose! We'll drive out and pick up the little squirt right after lunch."

"I don't know about that. This storm is kind of bad, and I don't want to crash. Again." Yuki said, a rare hint of sarcasm creeping into his usually calm tone.

"The rat has a point. You'll kill him the minute ya get on that damn road in these conditions." Kyo pointed out.

"Fair enough, I suppose. I'll wait until the storm is over. But in the meantime, Honey-"whatever Shigure had been about to say was cut off by the loud ringing sprouting from a phone on the wall.

"Hey, it's Takashi's number!" Honey announced excitedly. "Hello? Takashi! Yes, I'm fine but I want to come home! I promise I'll never do anything bad ever again in a kabillion years! The phone is so full of static, I can't hear you! It must be the storm. Hello? Takashi? Hello?" Honey sighed and put the phone back on the receiver.

"Family troubles?" Shigure guessed.

"No, the signal went out because of the storm…" A loud clap of thunder seemed to give proof of Honey's words. "And I couldn't hear everything he was saying! I guess I'll just call him again later… Let's just hope this storm ends pretty soon so Momiji-Chan and I can both get back home!"

"Hey, Mori-Sempai, what's the matter?" Haruhi sat down on the sofa next to Mori.

"Nothing." Mori was a man of little words. "I'm just about to call Mitsukuni and check up on him."

"Um, Mori-Sempai, Honey-Sempai got home last night. He's right across the hall, taking a nap or something…" Haruhi rested a hand on Mori's forehead to check his temperature. "Are you alright?"

"That's not Mitsukuni. It's an imposter. I have to call and make sure the real one is alright." Mori picked up his phone and dialed the number Momiji had given him.

"What are you talking about-"Mori raised his hand for silence.

"Mitsukuni?" He asked after a short silence.

"Hello?" Even with Mori's expensive, high-quality cell phone, Honey's voice was crackly and his words almost undistinguishable. "Takashi?"

"Mitsukuni. Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine!" An all new wave of static erupted into Mori's ear. "But I don't want to come home!"

"W-what?" Mori demanded.

"I promise, I'll never come back in a kabillion years!" Honey announced joyfully. The phone dropped from Mori's hand and shattered onto the floor.

"Mori-Sempai! Are you alright?" Haruhi grabbed Mori's shoulder and shook it violently. "Why did you drop your phone? Is Honey-Sempai okay?"

"No…" Said Mori quietly, his face a mask of emotion. "No, he's not alright… He's… He's… Not coming back."

Chapter Five