Beatrice Prior Wednesday, December 10th. 4:00 AM

I awake to the smell of fresh coffee. I sit up and feel a brush of cotton on my legs. A blanket rests on my curled up body. I curl into the heated blanket closer; the heat fills me up.

Hearing the quiet tip tap of heel on carpet I turn around. The fight attendant named Lanie stands holding a cup of coffee out to me. I reluctantly take the blue mug out of her hands. I mouth thank you trying not to wake the other passengers. She then holds out some half and half and sugar.

I reach my hands out take the cream. I splash some cream in the mug and hand it back to her. Lanie then gives another first class passenger cream. As I watch the cream swirl and cascade in my coffee. Combining into one drink.

I take a sip of the hot coffee and look out the window. We practically are dancing above clouds. Floating on air in the dark sky to be exact. Until I start to see us descending slowly. The clouds are sparse now and I can see towns below. We must be close to our destination.

I finish my coffee. Then set the cup and blanket on the empty chair next to me. Then I see the little seatbelt light flash above the isle. I see Lanie gently waking up the other passengers and then buckling herself.

I turn again to the window and see Ohara airport. I see our planes guide onto the flashing runway. We stop and then Lanie go over the intercom to tell us our flight is over.

I stand up and pull out my carry on bag then walk to the luggage check. The cart spins around many times with different black suit cases. All of them slowly being picked up by different passengers.

Out of the machine comes a very large black suit case with a gold bow on top. I quickly grab my bag and wheel it out into an open space. I see Prior written on a car service so I walk towards the man holding it.

"I'm Ms Prior." He nods at me and places my suitcase in the back. I then sit in the car holding my carry on.

As we drive I stare out the window. Even at 4:30 in the morning the streets still have cars pilled in them. Each one trying to get somewhere; just like me.

Reaching the gate with the large F on top I can't help but think. Coming back it's like none of this happened.

I will be the same girl. Hiding away in her room, and hiding between identities.

Fumbling with my keys a bit I manage to open the door. The dorm room is the same as I left it. Opening my blinds I am greeted with the falling snow.

The school seems so peaceful draped and laced in white powder. Awaiting the screaming and running students of the day.

Everything seems as if I never left nothing happened, but it did. Even if break ended a week ago I am still just getting back. Because my break may have ended but I had something else that I had to do.

I remember it too well...

My body shivers in the court room. Clutching my sides and the gray fabric to keep me warm. My gray long sleeve dress defeats its purpose, my mind must believe Im naked. The loose cotton fabric glides across the wooden chair. I fidget and squirm in my seat; enough for Caleb to scold me.

Looking up the man dressed in the black robe smiles at me. Holding a gavel in his hand and papers in the others. His name is Judge Kang.

I don't even need to look to the other table to see the orange. It burns and hot flame in the room. Present by all and ignored by none, but me. Because if I look at the two figures in orange I will burst into flames myself.

A large hand pats my back and tries to sooth me. His finger scare me at first. Im not used to the feeling they spread across my back. The tingling sensation that melts into a warm bliss. Im not used to anyone being there for me.

"You did the right thing. They are leaving and no matter what, I wont let them hurt your again." His deep voice trembles my ear. All so quietly I turn to look at him. The deep blue mesmerizing eyes peer into mine. Each blink I grimace in sight of loosing them.

"Attention! The jury has decided the verdict of these two here." The sudden slam of Judge Kang's gavel awaken me from my stare.

"As the jury we confide both Eric Jamenson and Peter Hayes guilty of their crimes. For sexual assault, rape, and attempted murder." They are done no longer do I have to deal with them. Never will they be able to touch me.

Getting up with my brother we exit the courtroom. A small tear strays down my face, but not in sadness. Only in relief of what has been done.

My friends and Caleb join me on our way out. Until I realized I never thanked those who let me sleep safe at night.

Telling my brother I will be right back I rush into the courtroom. Thanking Mr. Kant and the jury for their actions and decisions. Until I turn to leave.

That isn't until I feel a presence behind me. The tear strung face and bagging eyes, almost seems to hide all the piercings that surround.

"I'm sorry he did that Tris. I never wanted to hurt you. I just was upset when you left or didn't want me. I kept telling myself that you would come back, but you didn't. That's when I went out to drink and Peter found me. You have got to believe me Tris. I never wanted to hurt you like that, it was the alcohol. I promise please forgive me." His hand reaches for my shoulder and I step back.

"Get away from me."

"Tris I love you I would never..."

"I said get the hell away from me."

"Tris please forgive me. I never ment it."

"No Eric your a coward! I will never forgive you," His demeanor shatters. "Now get get away from me or I swear to god I will kill you." I seethe.

A guard comes forward and he is cuffed. Taken away tears drop on the orange fabric.

Turning away I walk out if the room.

The only thing about that was he died. Eric hanged himself in the cell the next day.

He hanged himself all because of me, because I was too selfish to forgive him. So now I live with his blood on me. Forever I will be the cause of a young mans death. Because I was a coward myself and I was too selfish to forgive him.

The only thing I was left from Eric was a note. A note that confirmed my thoughts, even if others dismay.

I'm sorry Tris.

Those three words killed a little bit of me. Even if what he did was disgusting, egotistic, revolting, and cruel I knew deep down he still had a heart. A cold, shriveled heart; beating only to finish each day.

Before I start balling tears of my idiocy I get up from the seat. Pulling on gray Nike shorts and a lavender sports bra. Zipping a jacket over for the meantime I fill my water bottle. Then jogging out the door, still sliding my shoes on.

The gym is quiet and cold. Perfect for what I call workout time. Or stress free time.

Starting by stretching I loosen my muscles and flex my body parts. Touching my toes, bending side to side, twisting my torso, rolling my neck, lifting each leg, crossing my arms, and a quick squat. Once I'm limbered up I need a warm up work out. On the treadmill I opened my bag and pull out a book. Reading The Great Gatsby for another time, while endlessly blowing a strand of hair out of my face.

Continuing from machine to machine I workout. My thoughts have completely drifted off. Making the objective of working out a success.

The thanksgiving break was pleasant and eventful. Miss Pedrad almost killed her sons, Al and my mom made matching aprons together, Lynn never let him let that go, Susan grew even bigger, and I kept falling harder for a tan blue eye boy. When everyone came over for my family's dinner my mom was pleased that the boys enjoyed her food. Zeke's only complaint was possibly not even fitting into his sweatpants. Besides that we followed Prior tradition and watched How The Grinch Stole Christmas together. My brother and I mouthing different phrases that we both love.

The most eventful day would have been the following. That day would be known as Black Friday. The first time I ever shopped like that was this break. Al's great idea was to take me into Victoria Secret for undergarments. I refused but he pushed me even more then. Have you ever been in Victoria Secret on Black Friday? It's INSANE! Woman screaming, running, pushing, and punching for a god damn low priced bra. And he was the one who dragged me into the death trap. My justice of the evening was Al receiving a black eye from another shopper. They both fought over the same sweatpants, and he wasn't even getting them for me...let's just say school seems like vacation in reality.

This week I'm set for a mandatory Dauntless initiation. Dauntless initiation is where when a new student comes they go threw one week of initiation that year. Things include fighting, knives, guns, fear simulations, and overall strategy. Dauntless gives it to their new students to prepare them for life's tough situations and any dangers. No one wants a campus threat to unprepared students.

I fit my schedule in and it turns out I fit for a small class in the morning. I have no clue what to expect.

Sitting on the floor I wait for my class to come and start. My early morning workout fits in with the class schedule, afternoon classes, and nightly rehearsals. Reaching into my coat pocket I dig out earbuds and plug them in.

A new song pulls up; I swear Tori publishes my stuff without me knowing all the time.

We go hideaway in daylight

We go undercover, wait out the sun

Got a secret side in plain sight

Where the streets are empty

That's where we run

Everyday people do

Everyday things but I

Can't be one of them

I know you hear me now

We are a different kind

We can do anything

We could be heroes

We could be heroes

Me and you

We could be heroes

We could be heroes

Me and you

We could be

Anybody's got the power

They don't see it

'Cause they don't understand

Spin around and run for hours

You and me we got the world in our hands

Everyday people do

Everyday things but I

Can't be one of them

I know you hear me now

We are a different kind

We can do anything

We could be heroes

We could be heroes

Me and you

We could be heroes

We could be heroes

Me and you

We could be

We could be heroes

We could be heroes

Me and you

We could be

A tapping by me ends future listening to music. It belongs to a man and they appear to be large by their shoe. Looking up I am met by an black tight shirt displaying taut muscles. Further up the man I notice a strong jaw line and then I see his face. The full lower lip and deep blue eyes. One eyebrows quirks up at me and his hand reaches out. Taking the hand he pulls me up with ease.

"Ready to start Tris." Tobias asks me.

"I thought this was a class?"

"It turned to an individual class that I'm teaching. Because your schedule, according to the office, was to be worked around. Now forewarning during this the wrestlers, basketball team, or swimmers might come in here why we work." I nod and take in the information.

"Let's get started by showing you some moves on hand to hand combat."

Tobias's muscles I have learned are very distracting in this lesson. Each one flexes and I'm afraid they will turn into rock. Stretching and then easing into a comfortable position they work like a machine. I'm typically not the person to be attracted because of looks or their body, but his is just there. And I can't help it.

"Go ahead and demonstrate the moves on the bag." Striding over I still wear my jacket. During the workout I didn't wear it, but that was alone.

Punching and following his moves I hit the bag. The bag seems to stay in place and not be affected by my thrusts. I huff in frustration.

A warm vibration enter laces around my waist. The hand creeping and pressing down on my stomach. The callused yet soft hands cause me to suck in a breath. Following the hand presence I feel a warm brush of air by my air. The movement cause my hair to stand tall and my skin to tingle.

"Keep tension here." The hand leaves and I miss it desperately. Every time I punch I imagine that if I don't the feeling will never come back.

"Your small, use your elbows for more impact." He tells me and I follow.

Using my core and elbows I make stronger strikes. Each time increasing the force and magnitude. Until he suggests something.

"Take off your jacket it is getting in the way." What he doesn't know is what's underneath. He assumes I have a shirt on.

"Okay." I breathe low and slip off the jacket. Avoiding to look at him at all, in fear of his disgust. I am not a pretty sight to see and I pity those who see me like this. I am not comfortable like this either.

"I had workout earlier and I didn't think I had to take this off. Sorry." I make it a barely audible whisper.

The lesson ends not long after. I pull my jacket on as quick as I can and thank him. Rushing away before he can talk to me.

December 14th

Breathe Breathe Breathe

I pull back and lunge foreword releasing the knife from my grasp. It hurdles towards the target and sticks inside of the center ring. Right next to the bullet hole I made minutes ago.

I am not as good at fighting as I am knife throwing or shooting but we all have our faults.

Today is my last day of training. Tobias and other instructors rate me on my performance compared to previous years and this years class. That was my last test for this class, whatever I get I don't care. I'm done and that is that.

Walking out of the room I head to my dorm. It's time to finish some holiday song pieces and other arrangements.

A hand grasps my forearm before I can exit. "You belong here you know that?" His deep blue eyes distract me.

"Huh?"

"You belong here. At this school and in Dauntless, even if you don't think so." He tells me before letting go. A feeling disperses when he leaves and I spark an idea.

Rushing up the stairs I run to my room and start writing a song.

Why didn't I think of this before?!

Tobias Eaton December 14th

"I've Got It!" The door is slammed open and Zeke runs in. Uriah trailing just behind him.

"Champagne!" Uriah screams panting from running. But I am utterly confused.

"What about it?"

"I got the idea of how to confirm your girl. I went to the ballroom and asked the waiter working that night. Said she paid with cash." Useless...

"But the bill was to a Six."

"Zeke that doesn't solve my issue of finding her."

"That's when I got an idea."

"What?!"

"You still have that mask right?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Cinderella could only fit her shoe. Your girl will be the only one to fit that mask."

FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I ADMIT ZEKE IS THINKING LIKE A GENIUS...but wait I really like Tris. It's not even like the Beauty of Dauntless will show up. If not I will ask Tris out, but it's still worth a try.

"Time to find a Cinderella."

Beatrice Prior December 16th

I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me

I still feel your touch in my dreams (my dreams)

Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why

Without you it's hard,to survive

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling

And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly

Can't you feel my heart beat fast?

I want this to last

Need you by my side

Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static

And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky

Can't you feel my heart beat slow

I can't let you go

Want you in my life

Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky

They wipe away tears that I cry (that I cry)

The good and the bad times,

we've been through them all

You make me rise when I fall

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling

And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly

Can't you feel my heart beat fast?

I want this to last

Need you by my side

'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static

And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky

Can't you hear my heart beat slow?

I can't let you go

Want you in my life

'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling

And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly

Can't you feel my heart beat fast?

I want this to last

Need you by my side

Singing this I realize what I have been doing.

Hiding.

All my life I hide and try to avoid the ineffable.

Why am I hiding though? The worst in my life seems to be over. Instead I am surrounded by those who love or care about me.

My mother, father, Caleb, Susan, Al, Lynn, Zeke, Uriah, Shauna, Christina, Marlene, Will, Tori, Bud, and Tobias. All those who love me for real reasons.

In some way Eric even loved me. He died because of me and hogue it may not be for the right reasons it must mean something. To die for someone must mean they're special. That means I'm worth dying for or I'm special. In all my life I have not once considered myself special. Now I realize maybe I'm actually worth something; maybe my life is worth something.

Before I was always getting hurt or put in bad situations because I caused them. My fear of the world never prepared me for what it holds.

I cant start a new chapter of my life if I keep re-reading the last ones.

Thats what I'm going to do! I'm going to start a new chapter in my life. This chapter won't be about Eric, Tobias, Beauty of Dauntless, Six, Peter, or anything else! This chapter is going to be about me. How I come out from the shadows and live my life, and no one can stop me.

This Chapter will be called Me.

And I'm going to start off by doing the thing I was never brave enough to do.

"Tori I'm sorry I have got to go do something. I hope you like the song but I have to go."

"Tris what's wrong?"

"I have to tell someone something I should have told them a long time ago!"

I am going to tell Tobias I am Beauty of Dauntless.

*Thanks for the understanding and birthday wishes! I know this chapter may be short but I think these rash decisions and shortness will give more in depth on my climatic moment coming next chapter. I hope you like this chapter! Please review, check out the pics I post for each chapter, read, share, and PM me. Pm's are literally the bomb! I respond to those so much faster then I do to writing this.

Happy Thanksgiving and hope you all have a great week!

Love ya Darlings! *MT