Note: All characters and story in general came right from Veronica Roth's head, not mine. I only expounded on her idea. Also, ALL of the words in regular Italic font belong to Veronica Roth – her exact words. Whenever you see regular font you are seeing my wording. Also, the bold Italic words are mine and are meant to be read with typical italic flare. The first few chapters are here almost word for word from her book because I thought it was necessary to lead up to the change.

CHAPTER 55

TOBIAS

MY EYES OPENING, I offer the vial to her. She takes it and keeps her hold on my hand.

"It's okay. Everything is going to be okay now." She's smiling at me; automatically I smile back. I don't know what's going to be okay, but I trust her completely.

I'm standing there, smiling at her, watching her lift the vial to her lips. I would think something is off, but she continues to smile even after she's had everything in the vial. She continues even as her eyes close and her body starts to fall; only then does the situation feel wrong.

"TRIS! TRIS!"

I bolt upright in the chair that has become my home. Tris is still in her hospital bed looking at me. A dream. Just a dream.

Tris is looking at me. Her eyes are open and she's looking at me.

Stupidly, I can't form any words. My eyes get blurry and all I can do is stare. Somehow she manages to look both broken and whole. Over the past few days I've been vigilant about watching her body for any signs of change, so now I let my eyes search hers. It takes me a moment to realize she's crying, silently.

All I need to pull me out of my daze is a nod of her head. In an instant I move to touch my forehead to hers. For the first time ever I let my tears fall.

"I thought I was going to lose you. I thought you were gone, that you were going to leave me."

My eyes are closed, but I feel her shake her head no, and her arms wrap around me stronger than they should be able to. With my eyes still closed, I move my lips to hers and hold her as close as her bed will allow.

"Ah, I see my resilient patient has come back to us at last." For once, the doctor has a smile and no clip board. I should really learn his name.

"Tris? Tris!" Christina is the only one that speaks her relief, but I can tell that Matthew, Cara and maybe even Peter feel the same way. The only move I make away from Tris is to take my lips off of hers. I have no intention of backing away from her, so our friends settle for sitting close to her on the bed.

"How are you feeling? Sore anywhere? Any dizziness or lightheadedness?"

She thinks for a minute and then nods her head. After another pause she grabs at her throat and looks questioningly at the doctor.

"Ah, yes. Your throat is bound to be sore. You've been unconscious for four days, and while I can't be 100% sure, I have to assume the death serum you inhaled added to some discomfort." He looks unsure before speaking his next words, like he's unsure if he should say anything at all. "Tris, you are a medical marvel, an anomaly. Of course, we already knew that to some extent, but no one has ever survived the death serum before. Even the burns that appeared on your skin were gone within a couple days."

He knows the weight of his words. Caleb went through the death serum. Caleb didn't make it out. I had forgotten about him the moment I saw her eyes, but now I know it falls to me to tell her what happened. She seems to understand that too; she is looking at me expectantly.

"Caleb went in after you. Do you remember that?"

She only nods. She's trying to hold the tears back, but I wish she wouldn't.

"He saved your life, actually. If he hadn't come through those doors when he did," I can't stop the shudder that goes through me. I try to disguise it with a sigh. "If he didn't come back when he did, you wouldn't be here. He sacrificed himself for you, Tris."

When she closes her eyes it's almost too much for me to bear. It may be selfish, but the longer her eyes remained closed these last four days, the more terror I felt. I don't want her eyes to close now, not when I can finally see them.

"Tris, look at me." I wait. When she finally opens them, the tears are pouring out again. "He loved you, more than he loved himself. He didn't go back in there to clear his name or get rid of guilt. He didn't have to go back at all, but he did. He understood what real sacrifice was and he did it for you." I want her to really understand this, so I grab the sides of her face (gently) and keep our gazes locked. "He loved you, Tris. Okay? He loved you."

She stays still for a minute searching my eyes. She's looking for the truth and I know she'll see I'm speaking it. A quick nod is the only sign she gives me that she gets it.

"I hate to jump right into it, but I need to understand the extent of your injuries, okay?" Another nod. "Now, your throat may be a little dry and it may be uncomfortable, but I'd like you to try to speak, okay?"

"Water?" It's so soft that I don't know if I would've heard it had I not been so tuned into her.

"Got it all ready for you, Tris." Matthew hands her a half full glass of water. "You might want to try just a little at first. If you can drink all that without a problem, I'll get you more."

Behind us, Peter is quietly asking Cara about what happened and she is trying to explain it to him as straightforward as she can. For her, I have to think it's not all that difficult.

Christina, seated on her other side begins to speak before Tris can try again. "There's something else you should know." As our eyes meet, I know what she's going to tell her and part of me wishes she wouldn't. She was just told her brother died, I don't want her to have too much at one time. But I know she needs to hear it – she would want to hear it. "Uriah is gone. He passed away, but Zeke and Hana were able to get here before it happened, so that's a good thing."

I know she's feeling more than her voice shows, but the Candor in her can't help but be straightforward and brutally honest. Tris chews the inside of her lip for a minute before responding. I know her next question before she asks it, and I know how much the answer will bother her.

"When?" Her voice is a little stronger after the water, at least that's something.

I let Christina do all the talking so that I can keep watching Tris. "Yesterday morning. They decided to pull the plug and let him go."

"Yeah. Yeah." She starts chewing on her lip again and looks down. "I wish I could've said goodbye, you know?"

None of us try to offer her any words of comfort; there's nothing that can really be said to that. We all wish things could have happened differently. There isn't a way to make everything okay; there's no magic fix or cure-all. All we can do is handle the situations we are given the best way that we can. Through grief, through pain and anger, we have to power through it. I've never been the best at it, but I'm learning.

We all are.

We can only hope that time will lessen the hard memories. Together, I don't doubt that it will.