Wednesday, November 20th. 10:00 am. The special victims unit squad room.
Amanda Rollins, sitting at her desk was trying hard to keep herself busy to avoid getting trapped back in the vicious circle that was her mind, but mostly to avoid any friendly contact with her colleagues fearing they'd notice that she wasn't acting like herself lately.
It was working pretty good, nobody at the precinct noticed anything weird about her behaviour. That was one of Amanda's various skills, keeping everything to herself & cautiously avoiding any friendly contact with her colleagues because she knew deep down, that if she ever opened up to one of them about what was consuming her deep down, even to her partner, she wouldn't be able to look at them anymore or even at herself for the same matter. She knew how supportive they could be, just like when they helped her through her gambling issues, but this was way worse... and she couldn't just risk saying anything. she didn't want to be treated as a victim or feel vulnerable.
Bringing Amanda back to the world of pretend, a young lady filled with confusion walked in the squad room.
"Hello, can i help you?" Amanda stood from her desk, walking towards the girl
"hum... i don't know... my... uh... my name is Sam... Samantha Robins... i ... i think...hum... i might have been raped..." Stuttered Samantha, extremely disturbed.
"Okay honey, it's gonna be alright, we're gonna take care of you, can you follow me please? over here" Amanda assured the confused victim leading her to Olivia's office.
"...okay..." Samantha replied, faithless
"I'm detective Amanda Rollins and this is Sergeant Olivia Benson , we're here to help you. Can you tell us what happened?" inquired Amanda
"i...i told you... i was raped..." Samantha replied
Noticing how confused Samantha was, Amanda knew that she needed a lot of patience to get accurate information from her.
"Yes alright, can you tell us when did that happen?" asked Olivia calmly
"hum... last night" Said Samantha with a shaky voice
"would you tell us where did it happen?" Amanda said while taking notes
"my campus... college... i'm a college student...at the NYU" Mumbled Samantha
"okay honey, you're doing fine, do you remember what time was it?" asked Olivia softly
"... it was late at night... i was studying at the library and when i was done... i left ... i ... know it's not safe to walk out there alone... but... but... it's all my fault..." Said Samantha sobbing
Olivia grabbing Samantha's hands, said with a reassuring tone "Samantha listen to me, look at me, it's not your fault, what happened to you is NOT your fault!"
shortly, Samantha started to calm down
"we're gonna take a short break" said Olivia
"i'm gonna get you some water, okay? i'll be right back" said Amanda
Amanda left the office feeling nauseous, she was fighting hard to forget all the nightmares that were haunting her and she was making tremendous efforts not to let them overpower her.
Amanda headed to the vending machine & bought a bottle of water then went back to Liv's office.
"here, drink some water" Said Amanda calmly, handing the bottle to Samantha
"thank you" replied Samantha
"shall we continue?" Asked Olivia gently
"okay" Replied Samantha
"now honey, would you tell us about your attacker? do you remember what he looked like? did he have any distinctive marks or tattoos, anything that could help us identify him?" Asked Amanda
"it was dark... i couldn't see his face... he was so strong... he, he grabbed me from behind and... and... threw me behind the bushes..." Said Samantha sobbing
"Did you scream? or tried to call for help?" asked Amanda
"yes...at first ... but then he put a knife on my throat and he said if i screamed again... he'd... he'd slit my throat..." muttered Sam weeping
"okay, you did good Sam, you are alive and that's the only thing that matters now" asserted Benson.
Sam nodded silently still crying.
"did you recognize his voice?" Asked Amanda.
"no... " replied Samantha desperately.
"that's okay, can you tell us what happened next?" Amanda asked, gently
"he... he unzipped his pants & forced me to take off my skirt... and then he raped me over & over & over..." responded Sam crying
Olivia trying to reassure the victim " it's okay, Sam , it's gonna be okay , you're doing good , we're gonna help you get through this ".
Samantha's last words triggered Amanda's nightmares at a breaking point.
Suddenly, Amanda's hands started shaking uncontrollably.
Not wanting to get herself noticed by her superior, she stood fast and mumbled "i'll be right back...uh bathroom break" then left the room quickly.
Olivia noticed her suspicious behaviour and knew that something was definitely wrong.
"Samantha, could you give me moment? i'll be right back" Said Olivia
"...sure" replied Samantha confused
Olivia left her office heading to the bathroom. Once inside, she noticed Amanda throwing cold water at her face repeatedly .
"hey, are you okay? what was that all about?" asked Olivia
Amanda replied with a surprised face " what are you talking about?"
"Amanda , don't play me, i saw your hands..." insisted Olivia
Amanda replied with confusion " it's nothing, just cramps, i'm just dehydrated"
"oh really? dehydrated? you can do better than this detective" said Olivia outraged
Amanda exclaimed " IT'S NOTHING!" then added calmly while releasing a heavy sigh "i'm... i'm sorry... it's okay! don't worry about it Olivia"
Olivia kept staring at her, utterly surprised.
"oh so you want me not to worry about it? i'm your superior, detective! for god's sake i'm in charge of this unit! i need my detectives to be fully focused! " Olivia yelled angrily
"i'm aware of that sergeant. And i'm fully focused" Replied back Amanda head down
"Are you?" objected Olivia doubting the detective
Olivia turned her back to Amanda & while walking away from the bathroom she added with a threatening tone "you better get it together, Rollins"
Amanda stayed there in disbelief, completely shaked up from the argument she just had with her superior and then the inevitable happened, she started drowning in her dark thoughts again...
"she knows... she knows something is up, how can i get out of this? i can't tell her. Especially not her, i can't ... i need to get my shit together damn it..."
Olivia went back to her office.
"I'm sorry i kept you waiting" Apologized Olivia
"it's okay..." Replied Samantha
shortly, Amanda walked in, avoiding eye contact with her superior and sat beside the victim.
"Samantha , i know this is hard, but we want to help you , and we need as much details as possible" Explained Olivia
"Alright, i'll try..." Replied Samantha uncertain
"do you remember if he used a condom?" Asked Olivia
"...hum...He did... he was very cautious about it..." Replied Samantha, feeling ashamed
"okay , and after he was done, what did he do?" Asked Olivia
"he... he told me to keep my eyes shut...then he ran away" Samantha replied. "can i go home now please? i'm exhausted" Begged Samantha
"Not yet honey but soon, we're gonna have to drive you to the hospital to get you to do a rape kit, it's really important, it'll help find if the perpetrator left any DNA on you " Answered Olivia, softly
"...okay, hum...is it gonna hurt?" Sam asked, scared
"no it won't, we will be there with you every step of the way and right after you're done, we'll drive you home" Replied Olivia smiling
"alright..." answered Samantha, hesitant
"can we call someone for you? your parents maybe?" asked Amanda
"they're not in town, they live in Texas , i have nobody in here..." replied Samantha saddened.
Amanda gazing at Samantha stayed silent.
"Detective Rollins is going to drive you to the hospital now, and i will join you later. don't worry Samantha, it's going to be okay" Olivia reassured
"shall we go?" asked Amanda while leading Samantha out of Liv's office.
Olivia stepped out of her office, talking to Fin and Nick.
"Guys, we have a delicate case in here, a college student Samantha Robins, she was raped in her campus last night at the NYU , near the library. i want you two to go there and ask around, talk to the librarian, the director... and see if she has any friends, any ennemies..."Olivia Ordered the detectives
"we're on it, sergeant" Affirmed Nick
Nick and Fin picked up their coats and left the squad room.
Olivia went back to her office and couldn't help herself but think about what happened with Rollins while feeling guilty.
"her behaviour wasn't normal...after fifteen years working at SVU, i can recognize someone suffering from a PTSD. i've blew it up with her already...how can i get her to talk to me? if i go direct on her, she's probably gonna shut down and get worse... i was too hard on her earlier...damn it..."
Lost in her thoughts, Olivia grabbed her coat and car keys then left the building heading to mercy hospital.
...
Wednesday, November 20th. 12:00 pm. The Mercy Hospital.
When Liv arrived, she showed her badge to the doctor and proceeded to ask him about Samantha Robins. He informed her that the rape kit was done and already sent to the lab, he would get in touch with her as soon as the results were back. Then he walked Liv to Samantha's room where she was getting dressed while Amanda was waiting outside the room.
Liv asked Amanda, concerned " hey, how is she?"
"She's 20, all alone and got sexually assaulted, how do you think she is?" Amanda snapped at her superior sarcastically
"Excuse me?" Liv replied, surprised
"i'm sorry... she's okay" Amanda replied back softly
"Alright..." Olivia replied
Samantha finished up dressing then met Amanda & Olivia outside her room.
"Can we go home now?" asked Samantha
"yes, let's go" replied Olivia
...
Wednesday, November 20th. 3:00 pm.
After dropping Samantha home, Amanda and Olivia were heading back to the office, Liv was driving and could feel the tension setting up between the two of them then she decided to break the silence.
"Look Amanda, i apologize for earlier... i was too hard on you... i'm sorry" Said Liv feeling guilty
"Well that was an unexpected move! what is she trying to do here?" Thought Amanda silently then added, forcing herself to smile "it's okay, it wasn't a big deal, we're good"
"How about i make it up to you tonight? you wanna go grab a drink ? we could talk? not as your superior, just as friends, what do you say?" Asked Olivia with fear to be rejected
"if i say no, she'd think i'm hiding something, but if i say yes, she'd want to talk about this morning's incident and try to dig deeper... damn it ... but also, i dont want to go home so early ... i will have to face the nightmares sooner or later... better be later then..." Amanda thought silently.
"uh...sure ... okay... why not" added Amanda, trying to sound as genuine as possible.
"Great!" Replied Olivia, relieved from the answer she just heard.
