A/N: Still don't own shit.
"What are you doing?" Kate sat down on the couch next to him, lifting his arm and putting it around her shoulder, so she could rest her head against his chest. Castle had his feet propped up on the coffee table and balanced his laptop carefully on his thighs.
"There's this website with property listings in D.C. that I've been checking out all afternoon." Rick looked up from the screen and smiled at his fiancée. "How was your day?"
"Too much paperwork. Gates won't let me take lead on any new cases anymore, in case we can't close them before I leave."
"And the boys?"
"Still giving me the cold shoulder." Kate sighed.
"They'll come around, you'll see. Ryan will be a blubbering baby on your last day, clinging to your legs and begging you to stay."
"Ryan's not the problem. Espo is. I swear he's plotting how to kill me in my sleep for betraying him like that. And you know he'd get away with it thanks to his sniper training." Kate shuddered.
Castle laughed out loud. "Come here," he pulled her tighter into his one-armed hug and kissed her head through her hair. "How about a little distraction? I've flagged a few listings I thought you might like."
"Okay," Kate smiled and leaned in to get a better view at the screen.
"We haven't really talked about what kind of place we want, so I've flagged both condos and townhouses with three to four bedrooms that are for sale. Have you at all thought about preferences regarding neighborhoods?"
"I was thinking Georgetown might be nice, if we can afford it."
"You're marrying a best-selling mystery writer, Kate, trust me we can afford it."
"You mean you can afford it." She corrected him.
"Are we really going to have this argument again? Kate, we're getting married. What's mine is yours, so yes, we can afford it."
"I don't want you to pay for everything, Castle." She insisted, "I don't want to feel like a kept woman."
"What do you want me to do, Kate? Not use my money at all?"
"Don't be ridiculous, of course not!"
"Then what do you want, Beckett, tell me. Cause this," he waved around the loft, "is leading us nowhere!" Rick shouted exasperated.
She stared at him in silence and Rick sighed.
"My money's not going anywhere, Kate, so the sooner you get used to your new wealth, the better it will be for all of us. Can you please try?" He tried again more calm and quiet this time.
"I don't want to lose my independence," she finally confessed quietly.
"What?! Why would…?" He looked at her astonished. "How's buying a townhouse in Georgetown equal to you becoming dependent on me?"
"I know you, Castle. It starts with the house and the vacations, then you buy me a car and new dresses to accompany you to public appearances and before I know it everything I own in my life actually belongs to you!"
"So, really, you don't want to share what's yours with me?" He gave her a lop-sided grin.
"Argh!" Kate grunted and stood up.
"Beckett, what is this really about? I don't get what the big deal is."
"It shouldn't be this hard." Kate began, pacing the floor.
"What shouldn't be so hard?" He couldn't follow her.
"This! Life… love… us…. Everything."
"I don't understand," Castle's voice cracked, "what are you trying to say?"
"We're so different, Rick. What if I stick out in your life like a sore thumb just like my stuff among yours does? What if we're still only kidding ourselves? Where does that leave me, if I let you pay for everything in my life? I'd be nothing but a gold digger, living in your apartment, driving your cars, wearing your clothes."
"Oh my god!" He exclaimed appalled, "You don't believe in us! You don't think we're going to make it!" He accused her.
"What?!" She frowned aghast. "No!"
He looked at her heartbroken. "I don't understand, Kate. I…" He trailed off, fighting back the tears welling up in his eyes, "I thought we were happy. Finally on track…" He swallowed the thick lump that had formed in his throat.
"Are we, Rick?" She stared at him upset.
"Obviously not if you have to ask!" He shook his head with disappointment.
"You were so serious, Rick," she tried to explain, "on that swing set. I thought for sure you were going to break up with me."
"What?!" He straightened up, "Kate that's the last thing I want."
"Then why does everything feel so rushed and forced between us lately?" She looked at him so helpless, it tugged at his heartstrings.
"What do you mean?" He put the laptop on the coffee table and rose from the couch.
"I feel like I'm losing control over my life. I was so certain you were going to end things and then you sprang that surprise on me. In the fraction of a second, you turned my whole life upside down and now I'm suddenly engaged and starting a new job and moving to another city…"
He didn't let her finish, rushed over and silenced her with a kiss. "Relax, Kate." He palmed her cheeks and gazed into her eyes. "It's okay to be a little scared right now. There have been a lot of changes in your life recently. But there's no need to freak out. Whatever happens, I'm not going anywhere. I'm in this for the long haul. I want you. I want this with you." He reached for her hand to hold up her engagement ring. "I want forever with you."
"Are you sure? What if I forced you into something you weren't ready for because of my stupid behavior? I don't want to trap you like Meredith did."
"First of all, you're nothing like her. Second, Meredith didn't trap me. Believe me, she felt more trapped by her pregnancy than I have raising Alexis by myself for the past nineteen years. Besides, I knew what kind of persons she was and I married her anyway. So that one is really all on me. No one forced me back then, it was my decision."
"Would you have married Meredith if you hadn't knocked her up?" She raised her eyebrows at him, demanding an honest answer.
"No, probably not." He admitted.
She gave him a look that clearly said, 'I told you so.' "Then you caved to societal pressure and expectations, which might as well have forced your hand. What guarantee do I have that you're not making the same mistake twice? What if you're going to resent me, too. I don't want to become your third ex-wife."
"Then why did you even accept my proposal?" He snarled angrily.
"Because I love you, dammit, and I don't want to lose you!" She yelled. Kate knew that if she had told him no that day at the swing set, their relationship would have never recovered.
They stared at each other shocked and in silence for a few minutes. How had they ended up fighting like this? Half an hour ago they'd been cuddling on the couch.
"Do you…" Castle licked his lips and cleared his throat, "do you think we're making a mistake?"
"I don't know." Kate sighed and sat back down. She rubbed her palms over her face and then propped her elbows on her knees, hiding her face in her hands.
He walked over and fell onto the couch next to her with a big huff. His voice broke, "Do you want to call the wedding off?"
Kate stared at the floor and shook her head. Castle breathed a sigh of relief.
"Then what do you want us to do? What do you want, Beckett?" Rick asked, feeling a strange sense of déjà vu. The last time he'd asked her that question, she'd launched herself into his arms, clinging to him like a shipwrecked to a life buoy.
"A time machine." She lifted her head from her hands and glanced at him with a weak smile. "So we can go back before this mess."
They sat in silence staring straight ahead for while, when Kate broke the silence.
"I love you, Rick, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I'll never know whether you just proposed to me only because you were afraid I'd chose D.C over you."
"I guess my word doesn't count?" He glanced at her sideways. So that's what it was. She was upset over the way he proposed. "That's really sad, Beckett, because it means you can't trust me."
"I trust you, it's just…" She started crying again. "This is what I meant. It's all so complicated, I've made such a mess of things. You should've been beaming all over your face, when you reached for your ring, bubbling over with excitement. Instead you wore that serious look. It made me feel like I was pointing a gun to your head, when you asked."
"That's because I was really scared you'd say no." He confessed. "And I was trying really hard to show you that I can be more than an overgrown man-child. I can act like an adult from time to time, I can be the man you deserve, Beckett… a good husband, someone you can always rely on. I know I don't have the best track record with Gina and Meredith, but I don't take marriage easily. It may have been all fun and games with Gina and Meredith, Meredith especially, but with you... I want to work on our relationship, I really want to make our marriage to work. I want you to be the last person I pledge my life to. I want to be your one an done."
She felt tears prick at her eyes through the smile she gave. "You are, Rick. You've always been and you'll always be." Kate swallowed hard and blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill over. How could he even doubt that? "I'm the one who doesn't deserve you. I don't even know why you love me. I'm such a hot mess."
"You're beautiful and extraordinary and incredibly adorable when you're a mess." He gave her a boyish smile. "I love you because you're compassionate and strong, plus, you laugh at my jokes." He nudged her shoulder softly. "There are a million reasons why I love you but there's only one reason why I asked you to marry me, Kate."
He took her left hand and rubbed his thumb over her engagement ring. "I can't ever live another day without you in my life, not after this amazing year we've had together. I just can't let you go, Kate. And if you need to hear that from me every day until I die to believe how much I love you, then I'll tell you day after day after day."
"I can't live without you anymore, either." She whispered and gazed into his eyes. "I tried to picture myself in D.C. without you and I just couldn't see it. I was so afraid I'd have to choose one over the other, and now I'm so glad I can have both." She leaned in and brushed her lips softly over his. "I don't want to ever be without you again. I mean it, Rick, I don't know what I'd do without you in my life." There was an edge of desperation in her voice, he seldom heard.
"I love you, Kate." He breathed and kissed her hard.
"I love you so much." She mumbled against his lips.
"So where do we go from here?" Rick pulled back and looked at her with expectant eyes.
"I do want to marry you, I'm just scared we're both rushing into a marriage to distract us from our real problems."
"I'm not stupid, Kate. I didn't pop the question to you, thinking a proposal would be a miracle cure that fixed all our problems."
"We have to get better communicating with each other openly before we get married." Kate emphasized. "I love the silent conversations we can have by merely looking and touching each other, but if we're going to make this work, we both have to be more assertive regarding our needs and expectations."
"Fine, I'll start. I don't want to fight you every time I buy a gift for you, Beckett. What good is my money, if I can't spend it on the people I love?"
"Can we buy something together?" She countered. "We can look at smaller apartments and it doesn't have to be Georgetown. I'll pay part of the down payment and we'll get a mortgage together. "
"Of course we can look. What did you have in mind in terms of size?" He asked her.
"Two bedrooms, so we have a place for Alexis when she comes to visit. A nice, spacious bat cave for you to write. Maybe an extra guestroom for when your mom or my dad stays over, or if one of the gang decides to come and visit us when I'm no longer persona non grata." Kate chuckled.
"That's not so much different from what I had in mind. I was thinking three bedrooms minimum, especially if you want Alexis to have her own room. But I'm leaning towards four bedrooms, so we can have a dedicated guest room and convert the other one into my office."
"I like modern appliances and amenities like in your loft, but I also love older, historic buildings – that's why I thought about the townhouses in Georgetown in the first place."
"Kate, I love you and I would really like to buy you your dream house where we can grow old together. Promise me you'll think about it ok? I already talked to my lawyers and they said I can easily afford a 5-6 mill purchase with my current portfolio. Even if I pay, we'll put both our names on the deed as owners. Legally, it will be ours." Rick tried again.
"Give me some time to think about it. Get used to the idea, ok?"
"Sure. We still have a few weeks left. You'll see in a few years we'll be too tired from chasing after our kids to care about who paid the utilities bill." He smiled.
The mood suddenly shifted and a pregnant silence hung in the air.
"That's another one of those things we should talk about before the wedding." Kate said.
"Probably." Rick nodded.
"But not tonight." Kate replied, unwilling to walk through that minefield after the fight they just had.
"What else should we talk about before the wedding?"
"Do you want a pre-nup?" Kate asked him all business like.
"Definitely not talking about that tonight." Rick's eyes widened in horror and Kate chuckled.
"When do you want to get married?"
"Remember if it had been up to me we would've eloped right from the swing set."
Kate bit her lip nervously. "I think we should wait. I mean not like indefinitely, but maybe we should set a date for next summer or spring. That will give us more time to talk about the important things, fight and make up. Take little steps, you know?" She grinned at him.
Rick breathed a sigh of relief. She was teasing him already about their earlier blow up. "Why, detective, I think we just had our first fight as an engaged couple. Do you realize what this means?"
"Make up sex?" She smirked.
"Very hot and very wild make up sex." He nodded at her with a big grin.
0~0~0~0~0
Rick stared at the large glass front of the second complex he was going to view today, still lost in thought. It was a very modern building with an unusual design. It clearly lacked the historic charm Kate was so fond of.
"Quite impressive, huh?" Skip stepped up next to Castle and followed his gaze. "This complex was built in 2010 by an architect who puts an emphasis on eco-friendly urban living. The whole building is designed to take advantage of natural light and sustainable energy. The black panels you see at the corners are more than decorative accents, they're solar panels."
Rick nodded slowly. Now that again deserved some brownie points.
"Shall we take a look?" Skip turned to Rick who nodded.
While they rode up in the elevator, Skip gave Castle the run down on the condo. "This unit has five bedrooms, three bathrooms, a large kitchen/dining area, a living room, and an office. It comes fully furnished, if you want. Unlike the previous property, which encompassed two stories, this unit stretches out all across the top floor."
"Like a penthouse." Castle hummed.
"Kind of. It's very bright and has lots of light, which I can already tell from our previous viewing is very important to you and your fiancée."
"Yes, we both like dark and rustic furniture, so the more natural light the better." Rick explained.
"You'll probably want to chuck out most of the present furniture, it's all very white and sterile." Skip grinned. "Very modern, very minimalist."
"I'll be honest with you, Skip. Today is only for getting a feeling for what's out there."
"I know, Rick. At this price range, I rarely ever close a deal after the first showing. That's why I picked the two bedroom and the five bedroom units to show you both ends of the range you gave me. And those are only the condominiums. Did you get my e-mail with the open houses from our company in Georgetown tomorrow?"
Castle nodded, "Yes, thank you. Kate really fancies getting a quaint little townhouse there."
"Good." He pulled out his smart phone and pulled up his calendar. "I know you said your fiancée probably has to work and her schedule can be messy but I've got open slots at 10.45 am for the Olive Street property and then again at 5.15 in the afternoon, when I'm at the property on Prospect Street."
"It'll probably just be me again," Rick explained, "but I'll definitely come to the viewings."
"Excellent," Skip exclaimed and the elevator dinged. The doors opened and Skip exited, showing Rick the way. "Right, this way. Now it goes without saying that all our listings are in excellent and safe neighborhoods. I forgot to mention that the unit we viewed earlier came with two parking spots, this one unfortunately only comes with one, but there's a long term parking garage just around the corner."
Skip unlocked the door and pushed it wide open.
"Wow," Castle couldn't help but show his surprise. He almost whistled. This condo played in a completely different league than the previous one. "The entrance area and hallways are Italian marble. Very durable." Skip stomped his foot as if to prove it. "Down to your right is where the sleeping quarters are, the office is to your left. But let's just go straight ahead," Skip led them through a small archway and Castle had to watch his head, "into the living-slash-reception room."
They were greeted with a white leather furniture set that provided a stark contrast to the mahogany coffee table around which the couch, loveseat and armchair were arranged. Rick looked down at his feet and recognized an authentic Persian carpet.
Skip gave Castle a few moments to take it all in, before they ventured further into the room. Now it became obvious that this condo subscribed to an open layout as well. Separated by a pair of open shelves, one could still see into the actual living room.
A large home entertainment center set up with a projector, 64-inch plasma screen and Dolby surround system formed the centerpiece of the next section. A fluffy, white flokati rug provided a nice accent to the dark hardwood floor and black leather furniture, but seriously killed the bachelor-pad-vibe. It was all very sleek and modern. Castle wondered if the bright white reception area was the feminine counterpart to this man-cave. Feng-shui yin-yang? But where the hell did that ugly flokati thing come from? Rick wondered if that may have been the trade off for ESPN premium subscription with the girlfriend. He honestly thought the fashion police prohibited those ugly fluffy things as soon as the 70s ended.
As if he could read Rick's mind, Skip piped up, "How many Fraggles do you think had to die for this rug? I've always wondered ever since we listed the property a few months ago."
Rick guffawed and just like that the ice that had been slowly melting between the two men was broken. "I don't know but I can have my girlfriend send it to the FBI lab and find out."
"I don't know, do the feds have jurisdiction over Fraggle Rock?" Skip grinned.
"I bet the Doozers did it, they got tired of Fraggles eating the scaffolding they just put up." Rick volleyed back. Oh how he wished Kate were there, so he could regal her with murderous tales of homicidal muppets.
"Dance your cares away…" Skip started to hum quietly and Castle automatically clapped. They grinned at each other like Cheshire cats and sang together, "Worry for another day."
Humming the Fraggles theme, they moseyed over to a door in the wall that led to the kitchen/dining area. A large oak wood dining table dominated the ambience. Along the dark purple walls – Kate would really dig that – sideboards filled with silverware, serving dishes and dinnerware lined up. On the opposite end of the room loomed the stainless kitchen. The state-of-the-art equipment beckoned Castle closer and he inspected everything from the double-door fridge over the oven/stovetop combination to the dishwasher. A large kitchen island, which could double as a breakfast bar, housed an impressive array of stainless steel pots, pans and other dishes. Two wooden cabinets with partial glass fronts gave the kitchen a more friendly design than the sterile feeling of the steel appliances. Rick could easily see himself and Kate cooking dinner and throwing a little party for their new D.C. friends in this kitchen. Maybe they'd invite her new colleagues over, so he could meet Squirrel and Fangirl and Kate's new partner and boss.
"This door leads to a storage room that contains the washer and dryer unit." Skip pointed to a door in the corner of the kitchen. "It conveniently connects the sleeping area with the living area through the kitchen."
Rick had to immediately think of something Kate told him early on in their relationship when they'd started preparing dinner together. The kitchen is the soul of every home. Another pearl of Beckett-wisdom passed down from Johanna Beckett to the next generation. Castle couldn't agree more.
"This corridor leads down to the entrance area." Skip explained but already turned to the left. "This is the master bedroom, which comes with an en-suite bathroom."
Rick stepped inside the room and for the first time felt disappointed by the condo. The shape was awkward because of the building's design, the large bed dominated the view and was placed awkwardly near the window. Did the other rooms not have the same problem or camouflage it better?
"It's small," Rick observed and was shocked by the tiny walk in closet. There wasn't much to take in, so he peeked into the bathroom. It only had a shower stall and that was a deal breaker for Kate. He knew how much she loved her long baths at the end of a stressful day at work.
Skip showed Castle the rest of the bedrooms, which were actually more decently sized than the master bedroom. The second bathroom was so small Rick was sure he could brush his teeth, use the toilet and shower at the same time.
Back in the entrance hall, Skip revealed another washroom for guests next to what Castle assumed must be the study room the realtor had promised earlier.
"When you mentioned you were a writer, I had to immediately think of the office in this listing." Skip opened the door to the room with a flourish. It was a sizable room lined with white, floor-to-ceiling bookcases on three walls. The large antique desk was bathed in direct sunlight from the big window. Peering outside, Rick could see the Rosslyn skyline.
"Now that's what I call a room for inspiration," Skip smiled proudly. Rick felt slightly sorry for the realtor because the room didn't really do anything for him. So he smiled politely and nodded.
Once the tour was over, Skip excused himself. He had to dash and meet another client. Castle thanked the younger man for his patience and expertise and made his way back to the hotel. He had purposely not scheduled any viewings for the early afternoon, since it was Saturday and he usually skyped with Alexis after lunch.
0~0~0~0~0
It was almost two o'clock and Rick Castle was sitting on the couch in his hotel suite, waiting impatiently for the small green icon next to Alexis's name to appear. On the stroke of the full hour, he heard the unmistakable Skype ringtone.
"Alexis!" Rick exclaimed excitedly.
"Dad! How are you?" A window with his beautiful little girl came on.
"Good, but how are you?"
"I'm great, Dad. This week has just been amazing. We did this trip across the country, following the early footsteps of the conquistadores. We saw these tiny villages and old ruins. You wouldn't believe how beautiful everything here is." Alexis gushed and Rick smiled.
"I'm glad you're having a good time."
"Don't worry, I'll be home soon dad, it's only two more weeks." A tinge of sadness crept into her voice.
"I know." Rick sighed. "I can't believe you won't be here for my book launch party. This is the first one you'll miss in ten years!"
"Ahh, but you have Beckett to keep you company now. She'll be much more effective at repelling blood sucking agents and publishers and ex-wives than I ever was. All she has to do is show her ring and point at her gun." Alexis grinned.
Rick sighed, "I don't know if Kate will come."
"Did you fight again?" Alexis' brows furrowed with worry.
"No, pumpkin. She's just got this really big case and she's been so busy I haven't even seen her all weekend. She even forgot to pick me up Friday at the airport."
"You're in D.C? I thought the room looked different."
"Yeah, I'm in our hotel suite at the W. But I'll be back in New York for the launch party next weekend and I'll definitely be there to pick you up at the airport when you land in two weeks."
"Will you say hi from me anyways?"
"Of course, pumpkin! So what are your plans for today?"
"Shopping, since we already hiked all the way into the city for the internet access, we might as well spend the afternoon here."
"Excellent choice, support your local economy." Castle chuckled.
"If you don't hear from me this week, don't worry, dad. We're headed to the national park, Corcovado I think, to see some wildlife."
"Can you bring me a capuchin monkey home as a souvenir?"
"No."
"Because it's illegal?"
Alexis laughed out loud, "That too, but mostly because they fling shit at you, like literally, and Kate would kill me and she's got friends who can help her hide my body."
"Right, I always forget about that part."
"Dad, my friends are getting restless. I need to go soon."
"Ok." Rick nodded reluctantly. "I miss you."
"Miss you, too, daddy."
"Be careful. And watch out for those shit-flinging monkeys. Do you get enough to eat?"
"Yes, dad." Alexis rolled her eyes.
"I'm testing your patience again, am I?"
"Yes, but you're forgiven, since you're over a thousand miles away and don't know what things are like here."
"Thank you, oh gracious daughter of mine."
"I really need to go now, dad."
"Okay, love you."
"Love you, too, dad, bye!"
The window with Alexis' face closed and Rick's heart sank a little lower in his chest. He closed his laptop and placed it onto the coffee table. Castle sank back into the couch and closed his eyes. She was fine. She looked healthy. Her voice was filled with wonder and excitement while she recaptured her recent activities for him. There was absolutely no need for him to worry. And she would be home soon. Two more weeks and then he'd get to hold her. She didn't know it yet, but he'd already decided he'd never let go of her again. He'd already ordered industrial-strength super glue to help him with that mission. Kate would disapprove, but she'd learn to live with a 19-year-old college girl permanently attached to her husband's hip.
A strange noise at the door caught his attention. He hadn't ordered anything from room service. Maybe one of the maids forgot something earlier and was bringing extra towels or fresh bathrobes. Castle rose from the couch and walked over to the door.
He recognized the unmistakable sounds of someone sliding their keycard repeatedly through the lock without the proper result. The person on the other side was getting increasingly frustrated, judging by the muttered curses and thinly veiled threats of bodily harm against that "stupid, god-damn lock."
Castle chuckled and flung the door open form the inside. He looked at the crouched figure in front of him, picking up the keycard they must have just dropped.
"Beckett!" He grinned, instantly recognizing his fiancée on the floor, "I know you feel bad about standing me up last night but there's no need to fall on your knees in front of me. It's already water under the bridge."
"Castle!" She looked up surprised and quickly rose to her feet.
