Hello everyone, i'm sorry i haven't been able to upload a new chapter in a while, i've been having internet issues, i hope it'll get fixed fast, but anyway, here's a brand new chapter :) enjoy


Thursday, November 21st. 10:00 pm. Amanda Rollins' apartment.

Amanda Rollins just arrived home after a long day full of events, and all she wanted to do was laying this day to rest, but her mind didn't let her do so.

After taking a shower & changing her clothes, she headed to the couch and sat there quietly. Her mind was loud enough, she didn't need to turn the TV on. After reminiscing all the events that happened to her that day, one event particularly absorbed her mind. It was that business card that Liv handed to her.

Amanda headed to her bedroom to get the business card out of her jacket, then she returned back nonchalantly to the living room and tossed the business card over the table while wallowing on the couch. She crossed her feet over the table and kept gazing at the business card without making any move.

"Why didn't i throw this card away yet ?" Amanda thought to herself.

Ten minutes later, Amanda picked up the business card from the table to look at it closely, then grabbed her phone hesitantly.

"Why should i call that shrink? Do i want to? Do i need to?" She silently thought.

After taking a long deep breath, Amanda started dialing Dr Lindstrom's number on her cell.

"Hello?" Said Dr Lindstrom on the phone.

Amanda couldn't seem to let any word slip out of her mouth.

"Who's this? Hello?" Repeated Dr Lindstrom impatiently.

Feeling the panick gaining her really fast, she took the phone off of her ear and gazed at it without turning the communication off.

Dr Lindstrom hung up the phone after spending fifteen seconds trying to know who was on the other side of the phone .

Amanda feeling uncomfortable, threw the phone beside her on the couch then she put her hands on her face.

"What the hell was that... Damn... what are you doing ?" She whispered to herself, while releasing a heavy sigh.

Amanda hopelessly stood up, heading to her bedroom, then she tucked herself in the bed, desperately forcing herself to fall asleep.

...

Friday, November 22nd. 8:00 am. The special victims unit squad room.

Olivia Benson just arrived at her office, followed by the rest of the detectives for a debrief.

"Good morning everyone" Said Liv, without giving them time to reply, she added " So guys, anything new concerning Samantha Robins' case?".

"We went to interrogate Ethan james yesterday on campus, but he wasn't there, he missed all of his classes." Explained Fin.

"Did you ask around? teachers? friends?" Asked Liv impatiently.

"His lab partner told us that he left to his hometown back in seattle, he lost his grandmother yesterday and he is gonna miss the next three days to assist her funeral" Finished Fin.

"Verify this story, get in touch with him, we need to talk to him asap!" Ordered Liv.

"We're on it Sergeant" Replied Nick.

Nick and Fin left the office, leaving Amanda and Olivia facing each other.

"Dr Clause called me yesterday night to inform me that Sam regained consciousness, but before we'll go to visit her, i need to ask you something. "Explained Olivia.

"Okay, what is it?" Replied Amanda, dubious.

"How are you feeling? ... No lies Amanda, i want complete and full honesty." Said Olivia with an assertive tone.

Amanda took a minute to respond.

"I can handle it, Liv" Replied Amanda, determined.

"I hope so" Replied Olivia, then added "Let's go".

...

Friday, November 22nd. 10:00 am. The mercy hospital.

After Olivia and Amanda arrived at the hospital, they headed to the information center and asked about Samantha Robins.

A nurse explained to them that Samantha was conscious but still weak from her suicide attempt, and she made it clear that they can only talk to her for a short time because Samantha's critical condition required a lot of rest.

Olivia knocked on Samantha's door while walking in, followed by Amanda.

"Samantha, Good morning." Said Olivia, softly.

Samantha was looking away when she heard Liv's voice, then she tilted her head to look at her without saying anything.

"How are you feeling honey?" Asked Amanda, gently.

"...I've been better..." Replied Samantha, slowly.

Olivia looked at Samantha with compassion then said "We're here to ask you few questions... do you think you can help us?".

"...I'll try..." Muttered Samantha.

"Can you tell me what happened to you? why did you try to kill yourself?" Asked Olivia, while getting her notepad out of her jacket.

"I... was lost..." Said Samantha, tears coming down her face, then added " ... I called my parents yesterday morning... I needed to hear my mom's voice... I... I didn't plan to tell her about what had happened to me but i just couldn't keep it for myself".

"Then what happened?" Asked Olivia.

"While i was talking to her on the phone, she knew that something was off, my voice was all shaky... it was hard to control it... and she asked me what was wrong... so i told her that... that..." Said Samantha sobbing, without finishing her sentence.

"It's okay Sam, take your time" Reassured Amanda.

"I told her that i was raped... and instead of supporting me... she blamed me. ...My... my father was near her and he overheard our conversation... he took the phone... and... and... he said that i destroyed the honor of the family and that i brought shame to him... then he said he never wanted to see me again... and that... that i was dead to him..." Said Samantha, weeping uncontrollably.

"Samantha, look at me... you know it's not true! none of this is your fault! that monster who hurt you is the only one to blame" Said Amanda while holding Samantha's hand.

Samantha was inconsolable, she was in too much pain and couldn't stop blaming herself. Not only the assault made her feel dirty and undignified but now her family is rejecting her too.

"I... spent the entire day thinking about my dad telling me that i was dead to him... and it made me feel horrible... i despised myself so bad... i couldn't go on living this way... so i took the pills... i wanted this nightmare to be over..." Yelled Samantha, weeping.

Olivia and Amanda looked at each other silently, heartbroken.

"Samantha, you are not alone... we are here to help you, and there's also your friend Becky who's here for you! we won't let you down, i promise." Asserted Olivia, while holding Samantha's hand compassionately.

Samantha nodded silently, still crying.

The nurse came in the room to let Benson and Rollins know that Sam needed to rest and that they had to leave.

"Samantha, you need to get some rest, we'll come back tomorrow to check on you, okay?" Said Olivia, smiling.

Samantha nodded silently, forcing a smile.

Olivia and Amanda left the room silently, heading to the parking lot. Once inside the car, Amanda blurted out "How's that normal?".

"What are you talking about?" Asked Olivia, surprised.

"Sam's family! how can they be so cruel thinking that a family's honor is held by their daughter's virginity!" Shouted Amanda in disbelief.

"I know... it's inimaginable." Replied Olivia, saddened.

"This is a nightmare for her... I wouldn't even want to live after this too... " Said Amanda outraged.

Olivia kept a straight face and didn't say anything.

...

Friday, November 22nd. 12:00 pm. The special victims unit squad room.

Fin headed to Liv's office to update her on Ethan James.

"Hey Liv, we checked Ethan's story, it's clear, we contacted him directly, he'll be here first thing on Monday" Explained Fin.

"... Alright, it'll give us some time to ask Sam about him." Replied Olivia.

After Fin left Olivia's office, Amanda walked in while closing the door behind her.

"Rollins, what's up?" Asked Olivia, intrigued.

Amanda took a minute before saying anything, just like she was searching for the right words.

"I need the rest of the day off." Said Amanda, apprehending Olivia's reaction.

Olivia gazed at her with surprise, then said "Is there something you wanna talk to me about?".

"...Hum... no, i just need my afternoon off..." Replied Amanda feeling uncomfortable.

"Alright then. See you tomorrow." Replied back Olivia, not wanting to push Amanda any further.

"Thanks." Said Amanda in relief.

Amanda left the building heading to her car, then after climbing in, she stayed there for a minute, gazing away, over thinking.

Releasing a heavy sigh, Amanda whispered to herself "Is this the right move?".

After turning the engine on, Amanda started driving. It took her forty five minutes to attend her destination.

Once she arrived, she turned off the engine of the car and sat there, her hands getting sweaty.

Amanda took her courage between her sweaty hands and got out of the car, then she got inside a building and headed to the elevator. It was the first time she ever went into that building.

After the elevator arrived to the 3rd floor, she stepped out of it then headed to a door.

Amanda knocked hesitantly twice on the door, and after ten seconds, a man in a suit opened the door.

"Hi... I'm Amanda Rollins." Said Amanda, hesitantly.

"Detective Rollins... I was expecting you." Replied back Dr Lindstrom, smiling.