Vanilla Turtles
Chapter 7
Earning Respect
In Eggman's opinion, children were like the strawberries you got when they were out of season. They were rotten, leaky, undergrown, and usually had some sort of unidentifiable gloop on them. This isn't to say Eggman hated children; he was actually rather fond of a few of Bowser's children. But Eggman was a man of logic, routine, and purpose. Children were creatures unfamiliar with the concept of thinking things through, were unconcerned with disrupting or inconveniencing others, and were in severe lack of goals.
Eggman had become mildly familiar with the koopalings after so many years being Bowser's friend. Bowser was actually a surprisingly good friend once you got past the breath-Eggman owed him a few favors because of this. And because Eggman owed him a few favors, they were cashed in.
"Just make sure they don't kill each other." Those were the only instructions Bowser gave. Eggman deduced that asking for anything more would be asking for a miracle. Usually when Bowser needed his kids watched he would leave them with the Kids Safari Adventure characters, but due to a very recent unplugging of said game, plans had to be changed. Roy had been left with Zangief, Larry and Lemmy were with the Pacman ghosts, Morton was dumped on the Mario brothers, and Eggman had to put up with the rest. He had to put up with a music-obsessed snob, a young mad scientist (emphasis on mad), a spoiled brat, and a pint sized vandal. All because the stupid castle needed a stupid monthly inspection. Currently four koopalings were looking up at Eggman expectantly. Eggman searched his childhood memories for inspiration, and he soon came up with a mental list of doomed activities.
"I trust you kids about as far as I can throw your father so I'll be taking the role of banker." Monopoly always seems like a good idea at first. You'd think it would teach math and valuable life lessons on money management. Instead it taught people to cheat and that the only way to succeed in life is by stomping on your competitors.
The first argument sparked when Iggy and Ludwig both wanted the boat piece. Eggman made them settle it with rock/paper/scissors, which started another argument on whether or not 'gun' was a real choice. Then an argument about moral fiber of both koopalings was started. Then Eggman tried to break it up by siding with Ludwig that 'gun' was not a choice in RPS. Then Iggy tackled Ludwig because of the blue haired koopa's smug smile. Finally the game was abandoned entirely.
TV was also abandoned after the sibling's failure to agree on what movie to watch, ball was ended after a window was broken, quiet time was canceled after Wendy whined about it being boring, and hide and seek resulted in Jr getting stuck in one of the vents. It took a half hour to get the poor kid out. By then it was time for dinner, and at least for that brief ten minutes nothing went wrong. Jr asked for a bedtime story at the start of the meal since it would be time to sleep soon. This is when Eggman's vengeful brain gave him a wonderful and cruel idea.
Eggman briefly retreated to his study. It's amazing what you can do in ten minutes, especially if you're an evil genius with a WiFi connection. Eggman had downloaded hundreds of books and movies, illegally but he was videogame character so it wasn't like he could get in trouble. The book he downloaded took two minutes to find and three to download. He took the red, hard cover book out of the air where it had materialized. In a last minute stroke of inspiration he downloaded a 9' by 9' chalkboard.
Eggman felt a bit guilty as he called the koopaling into the living room. Then he heard a shattering sound and all guilt evaporated. "Get in here or it's straight to bed with all of you!" The koopalings scampered in and clustered in front of Eggman. "Since Jr requested a story and I'm not leaving any of you alone in my house, you'll all have to stay for the tale." There was groaning from the older siblings.
"But we're too old for bedtime stories." Wendy complained, I don't know why since being read to has always been a comforting experience for me. And anyways no one says audiobooks are childish.
"Suck it up." Wendy opened her mouth to reply but was interrupted, "One more word and I WILL drag down my hand." He held up the small chalkboard and positioned his fingernails on top. One attempted sentence from Ludwig was all Eggman needed to show the power of his new weapon. "Great, now everyone get in a circle, it's storytime." The way Eggman said 'storytime' was a pretty big hint that mercy had left the building along with, sanity, compassion, and Elvis Presley.
Opening the book to the first page Eggman began reading aloud in as dark and monotone a voice as he could muster. "If it's in a word or it's in a look, you can't get rid of the Babadook." Eggman held up the book to reveal a pop up of an eye to the four confused kids, then turned the page. "If you're a really clever one and know what it is to see, then you can make friends with a special one, a friend to you and me." This page's pop up was half of a humanoid creature's face peering out at you from behind a door. By pulling a small tab, Eggman got the creature to stick out a hand as if it were waving. "A rumbling sound then three sharp knocks BA ba BA Dook! Dook! Dook! That's when you know that he's around, you'll see him if you look." This page had a picture of a rumbling wardrobe, the kids were starting to look uncomfortable. "This is what he wears on top. He's funny. Don't you think?" The pop up of the creature was disturbing and not in any way funny. "See him in your room at night and you won't sleep a wink." The creature was now looming over a child in bed and had a speech bubble saying 'Let ME IN!' charming. "I'll soon take off my funny disguise. Take heed of what you've read, and once you see what's underneath." The newest pop up was even less funny than the last one. "You're going to wish you were dead." It would have been less scary if the last page had had a picture, something to give you a hint of what happened. But instead it let your imagination fill in the blanks, your anxiety insist it was worse than that, and your fear keep you up thinking about it. You'd think Eggman would just stop there and let them have nightmares for one week only but no, Eggman was on a roll. After the kids had gotten into their sleeping bags in the living room, Eggman went down to his workshop to make something special.
Opening your eyes after a bad dream to see something very similar looking down on you from the ceiling cannot be good for the heart. Waking up to the sound of your baby brother screaming in terror isn't pleasant either. Seeing the thing try to snatch your sister is just plain traumatising. It would be boring to give you a description of the chase in detail because it was just the koopalings running around dark hallways screaming and trying to get away from a creepy robot that was programmed to chase but not catch. All that was going through the minds of the kids were internal screams, prayers, and adrenaline. After a while the children were herded to the front door, which they tried to open but were mortified to find it was locked.
They backed against the door as a group and just as the monster looked like it was about to grab them the lights turned on revealing the nightmare to be made of metal. The sound of the intercom coming to life echoed through the base, "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I got you back you little brats! That will teach you ingrates not to try to make a fool out of me!" There was another wave of evil laughter before Eggman started talking again, "Now march back to bed or I'll be telling your father how you stayed up past your bedtime." Eggman announced mockingly.
The koopalings stood there frozen for a few seconds before Jr decided to speak, "He just pranked the shrooms out of us. I like him."
Author's Note:
Sorry for the lack of dialogue in this chapter but I'm really bad at dialogue including more than two people.
Eggman and Bowser are two of the oldest characters in the arcade so they've known each other for years. Plus I think they're personalities compliment each other.
The koopalings despise being cared for by anyone but Bowser so they're extra awful when being babysat.
Eggman was trying really hard to be nice here, but even Sonic couldn't have stayed cheery faced with this situation.
"The Babadook" Is a psychological thriller that comes in movie and book forms, do not watch or read the book or movie until you are at least 13. I figured I could recite it here since there wouldn't be any pictures.
By winning against the koopalings in a battle I don't even completely understand, Eggman has earned their respect and even some admiration.
