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Making it work

Esme's POV

Staring. Edward and I just stared. The Capitol was amazingly beautiful. At first sight, you wouldn't think that this was a horrible place at all. I had never seen a place so stunning in my life. The nicest place I had been is was the Justice Building in our district. That was when my father had been hung. Even though he had been convicted, the mayor still wanted to meet me and talk about things. Things like how we would cope without my father, if we needed anything, if we could survive. I had told him yes at the time, only because if I had said that we were on the brink of death without the food my father supplied, Elia would be taken away.

I shouldn't have been thinking about that day at all. It only brought back the memories of my father, hanging...

Salia snapped me out of my train of thoughts. ''We're nearly in the centre of the Capitol. Now remember, the people on the outside of the train are potential sponsors, so make the right impression!'' She sounded so happy. It bothered me, but I tried not to think too much of it.

My mind was focused on making an impression. My mind was focused on the other tributes. What were they like? Made up of children? Or 17 and 18 year olds? I prayed it was the latter. As hard as it would be to escape the older careers, I hate the thought of killing children. I wouldn't be able to live with myself, no matter how barbaric those children are. I would prefer that they killed me. It would make me much more content with myself.

We reach the Capitol's centre, and I have the urge to pull down the blinds and shut out the world. They're cheering, clapping. Some of them are eyeing us up like we're animals. It makes me hate them even more than I do now. Of course they're already betting on us. Probably betting that we'll lose. The weak looking ones. The kids who are so unfed they can barely hold themselves up.

I ignore them and turn away from the window, despite Salia's objections. Edward is waving like Tiberius told him to. Edward will be able to win over some of the crowd. He is so small and adorable, the crowd will fall for him.

The train stops, and we're forced out into the crowd. It feels like I'm surrounded. The crowd won't touch us, and I know it's because of where we obviously come from.

Tiberius forces people as far away from us as possible and we're brought into a building. I'm not exactly sure what they call it, but I know I'm going to meet my stylists. At least the Cameras aren't allowed in here. No one except me and my stylists. It gives me a sigh of relief. I know the Stylists won't have a good opinion of me, but at least the world won't have to hear their opinion.

Edward and I are escorted down three flights of stairs, then we are separated into two different rooms. I didn't look back at Edward. I walked into my room in silence. Nobody followed.

It was good to be alone. To have free time to let a few tears fall without having to hide from the cameras. I know I should stop crying, my stylists could show up at any minute, but the tears keep falling. Elia, my mother, my father. Pictures of them fly through my head. Mainly Elia and my mother. I said goodbyes to my father long ago. I'm saying goodbye to Elia right now. I don't speak, but my thoughts say everything. I wish my thoughts could go straight to her, so she could know how much I love her and how much she means to me. In my head, I think about what I should have told her back at the train.

I love you so much Elia. You're the most important person in my life, and I want you to know that. I want you to know how proud I am of you. Every day I wake up, I think of you and how proud I am to be your sister. You aren't a girl. You are a woman. You are smart and kind and beautiful and someday you're going to make somebody very happy. I can't say goodbye forever, not to you. But this is goodbye. You and I both know that I probably won't make it out of this alive. But don't cry, because you'll always be in my heart, and I'll always be with you. Don't forget to look after mother for me. You know she can't look after herself. Pray every night, as if I'm there. Sing every night, like you always do, as if I'm there with you, singing too. Never change who you are Elia. Never, ever change.

I put my thoughts in a letter and send it to Elia. In my head, she gets the imaginary letter. In my head, she smiles, no tears, no pain. She's happy because she knows I think of her. I close my eyes and smile to myself, wiping away my tears. I'll keep the thought of Elia happy in my head. That's what'll make me pull through. That's what'll keep me focused in the games.

The door opens suddenly. Nobody knocks. Three odd looking beings appear. Two men and a woman. The woman has bright blue hair, and green eyes. She's small, and resembles a fairy. For a moment, I believe that fairies are real. The men are the opposite. One is tall, with huge muscles. He has green hair and orange colored eyes. His appearance terrifies me, but his smile reassures me that he isn't going to hurt me. The third man is very sullen looking. He has curly purple hair and dark colored eyes, almost black. He doesn't smile. His tall and terrifying appearance frightens me.

The small, fairy-like creature steps forward. ''I'm Alice,'' she says ''this is Emmett and Jasper.'' She points to the muscled man first, then the terrifying one. ''We're your stylists!'' She's another Salia. Too happy, almost pleased that she gets to be the one preparing me for death.

''Let's get started, Alice, before Irina shows up. She told you she wouldn't work on someone who looked like...that...'' Jasper says curtly. His voice doesn't change my opinion of him. He's terrifying.

''Jasper is right Alice. You know what Irina will say if we don't do this quickly.'' Emmett says. He sounds so friendly, so happy, but not Salia or Alice happy. He sounds like he's trying not to scare me. It's working.

Alice nods, and the three start to circle me. I feel like an animal under inspection. I close my eyes, but Alice taps my head. ''Eye's open. They're the prettiest thing about you right now.'' I feel slightly insulted. My hair is nice too, isn't it? I work hard to keep it right, to keep it neat. But apparently my eyes are the best thing.

''Clothes off, Esme, quickly now.'' Alice says.

I blush, but do as she says. She's a stylist, she knows what she's doing I remind myself. I slide of my shoes and dress. I feel embarrassed, but Emmett, Jasper and Alice don't react. I try not to focus on the fact that I'm naked in front of people, and try to focus on the fact that in a few hours, this will be over. The torment of having people look at you like you're something that can be sold, bought, or treated in any way that people want.

Eventually, the circling stops, and Alice looks at me.

''Don't worry, Esme. All problems are fixable. We can make it work.''

Problems? Making it work sounds like the worst thing possible right now. Why can't I just be me?