Falling is Just Like Flying (Except There's a More Permanent Destination)
The rubber ball bounces and lands perfectly in my hand. THUMP. I repeat the motion, focusing instead on what I'm going to have to do. THUMP THUMP THUMP. Johns' phone rings and I almost miss, fumbling, and lose my rhythm. The ball rests in my hand for a second longer before I resume the pointless exercise. THUMP THUMP. John yawns and picks up his phone.
"Yeah, speaking" he says, voice exhausted. I wonder when my blogger last slept. He listens for a moment.
"Er, what?". John leaps to his feet. "What happened? Is she OK? Oh my God. Right, yes, I'm coming". He hangs up. I stop my game and stare at him.
"What is it?". I wonder what excuse Mycroft came up with to get John to leave.
"Paramedics. Mrs. Hudson – she's been shot!"
"What? How?". For a single moment, I forget that this isn't real, odd feeling in my stomach. WHY did Mycroft feel the need to pick this?
"Well, probably one of the killers you managed to attract" John snarls, before taking a deep breath. "Jesus. Jesus. She's dying, Sherlock. Let's go."
I don't want to do this. "You go. I'm busy.".
John stares at me, looking at me with an appalled expression. I want to shrink into myself.
"Busy?" He hisses.
"Thinking", I say. "I need to think". No John, I need you. Please.
"You need to...? Doesn't she mean anything to you? You once half killed a man because he laid a finger on her.". John continues to look at me with the same expression. I feel cold. I shrug and say "She's my landlady".
I risk looking up. My John is angry at me. I don't want him to be angry at me. He shouts "She's dying, you MACHINE!". He is disappointed and furious. "Sod this. Sod this." He nods towards the door. "You stay here if you want, on your own".
The next words sound strangled even as I say them. "Alone is what I have. Alone protects me". No John. You protect me, I need you.
"No. Friends protect people" John turns, done with me. I want to call after him. My best friend. He said he would never leave, but now he's gone like all the rest. I know this is what has to happen. It's for his own safety. Still, there is a part of me that wants him to come back. To tell me he realized something was wrong, and sit next to me, and wrap me in his strong arms. To whisper that everything will be alright. To jump with me.
My phone buzzes. I pull it out and look.
-I'm waiting... JM
I stand up, ball in hand, and button my jacket. I hesitate at the door. Something glints at me from the table. With shaking hands, I lift the object up and examine it. Johns' dog tags. I raise them up over my head and slide them down my neck, then tuck them under my shirt. The cool metal calms me as I grab my coat and head for the rooftop. John is with me.
This is based on the second time I watched the Reichenbach Fall. It was my moms first time seeing the episode, and I was in tears already. She pointed out that it was a major plot hole, because John knows Sherlock better than he knows himself and John would totally realize something was wrong when Sherlock wouldn't come with him to Mrs. Hudson.
