Chapter 4
Note: I will not be doing every episode of the entire Legends of awesomeness because of how long it would take as well as the parts that were just plain stupid. I will still mention those episodes if maybe just in a passing word or sentence. Also a special thanks to MuffledEagle22 for helping me find a place to continue the story along with supporting the story line.
Well it's time for my next story to tell and man are some of our adventure's just crazy. Well let's see where to begin...oh I know.
Well after the defeat of Tai Lung, me and Po kept up our training with the furious five and... well me and viper began to date. I had begun to think of every day here being better than back home and kinda just went with the flow as of late. Sure every once in a while I kinda went off on master Shifu or that infuriating Tigress, who lately has been giving me some strange looks as of late, but after calming down I apologized later.
Well our first adventure was me, Po, and monkey looking for a rare flower to make medicine for a sick tigress. Adventuring with monkey and Po together was not exactly fun since they were always trying to one up the other. At times it was funny to watch but when they involved me it kinda got old quickly.
It seems the plant we are looking for is called the Sacred Sun Orchid and is needed to cure Tigress of River Fever which seems to quite dangerous for adults to have while the kids seem to just feel a little sick. Tigress had been sneezing and looking horrible the whole day during training. When Shifu figured out what the problem was he sent me and the two idiots out to get the plant. Seems the place it is now found is a place called the Valley of the scorpion which doesn't sound all that dangerous but well...easier sounding names have been worse...*shudder* I hated that training day.
Well me, Monkey, and Po set off on foot down an old dirt road to the south going through some very dense bamboo trees. Trying to keep up with them was easy but dodging the bamboo limbs they kept letting fly behind them was almost as bad as Shifu's personal training. I swear that if both of them were to train me I would tell everyone, "I quit."
Finally coming to a stop monkey holds onto a limb from a bamboo tree as he looks at the scroll and says, "Wow, that's a lot of skulls. You wanna know something interesting about skulls. You can't actually drink soup out of them."
Facepalming myself I say in a mumble to myself as I ignore Po, "I swear to god. I am going to go insane having to deal with these guys. When I get back I need Viper to teach me how to ignore them or shut them up."
Seeing Po heading off, I laugh as not even 15 steps from where he starts, before he goes head first into a tall stone slab which falls backwards as Po lands on his back.
Po's reaction after getting up is to then look at monkey and ask, "Uhhh...you think anyone heard that?"
Monkey than looks at Po and asks in a sarcastic voice, "You think anyone didn't hear that?"
I look at them both and say, "You think anyone didn't hear you before you got here? Remember there is a dangerous person in there who might kill us. We are suppose to be doing a stealth mission not a parade for fuck sakes."
I than shake my head as they look at me and shrug before heading in without a care in the world and yet...this feeling of being watched kinda made me uneasy. Looking about I try to figure out who is watching me before the feeling disappears...strange.
Heading inside was easy since Po had made an entrance for both us and the person who was held inside. Looking about before I head inside, I see what looks to be a pile of cut bamboo trees and limbs as if to keep them away from the stone wall. Someone kept this place in check so whomever was inside would not escape. Grabbing one of the limbs which looked about 6 feet tall, I twirl it around and test its durability by hitting it again one of the stones. Finding it in good condition and flawless I take it with me as I head inside.
Having let Po and monkey go ahead in first so as to get the attention of the person inside, I know I can sneak in and see if I can find either the person who is here and keep them in one place or to find the Orchid and get out while I can with it to cure Tigress. Going silently through the bamboo forest I begin to find that I am catching up with Po it seems since he looks ready to pass out. Po never seems to have much energy unless food is involved...poor guy might actually pass out soon. Monkey up to his usual ways left Po behind because of their stupid contests they have.
oh wait there is monkey...in a tree with a big rock...must be another of their contests. Kinda like that one time monkey and Po tried to see who could get the other with pink paint. I shrug and head off not knowing that monkey at that time had been stung by scorpion who had made him into a zombie so as to kill Po.
Having gone ahead through the bamboo trees along the road, I soon find myself at the entrance of Scorpion's layer and decide to enter. Slowly entering inside so as to not get attention drawn to me I stay close to the wall.
Looking inside I see Scorpion looking into a green pool of liquid as she says, "Oh that monkey doesn't know what he's doing. He is terrible at killing his friend. I blame bad parenting."
Seeing this I duck behind and prepare my bamboo staff as I look one more time to find her in front of my face. Jumping back I barely avoid her stinger and have to jump high over her so as to not get cornered. Coming back to the ground I land perfectly next to the bowl of liquid with the orchid above it and see out of the corner of my eye Po being attacked by monkey in the liquid. So scorpion had known all along we were here. She probably sneak attacked monkey and made him her slave with poison.
With my staff at the ready I say, "Umm...sorry I don't know your name but can you let us have the orchid and go out of here in peace?"
She stops her walk towards me and laughs before saying, "my what a funny person you are. My name is scorpion and unfortunately I can't. I could make you a special deal though. If you become my servant willingly I will not be forced to make you like that monkey."
Feeling that I may be out matched I act as best I can as I ask, "Why should I? What do I get out of this except my life?"
She seems to think on this before asking, "You have a girl you like or maybe a wish that you want reality? With my will and my poison I can make anything possible. All you got to do is kneel before me and swear your loyalty to me and you will be free to do as you wish so long as you do my bidding willingly."
Knowing that Po is having to face monkey and might have to face me if I am stung I slowly kneel before her and say, "I Nate Lawson Swear loyalty to Scorpion until the day I die. I swear to do her bidding willingly and to keep her safe from all harm that may be put to her."
Where I kneel I see her approach until she is near enough to sting me without knowing before she says, "Prove to me you are worthy to be mine. Kiss me to prove yourself and if I feel any doubt in it then I shall sting you."
She then jumps onto my arm and holds on tight as I stand. Bringing her close to my face I lean in without hesitation and kiss scorpion on the mouth as if she was like Viper. In my head I pray loudly to Viper to forgive me for such an act. I don't know if it is a good thing of bad thing but scorpion seems to be really into the kiss before she pulls away because of what sounds like knocking.
She looks at the door and says, "Someone's at the door. COME IN!"
She then goes to her seat before motioning with her tail for me to stand beside her. Going to my spot I stand there with my bamboo staff ready as the door opens. The sight before me is shocking and would usually make me cry out but having to stick with my act, I keep a straight face as I see monkey coming in with a wheelbarrow behind him with a dead looking Po.
Scorpion begins to laugh happily as Monkey says slowly in a zombie like tone, "po...no...more."
Scorpion then says to him in a baby like manner, "Look at you. Who did a good job? Monkey that's who."
She than heads over to Po and pokes him a few times before saying, "eww. He's only been dead for a few minutes. He shouldn't stink already."
Po than comes 'alive' and says, "That's the stink of awesomeness."
Getting prepared for combat I hold my staff ready as Po and monkey get together on the other side of the room and the wheelbarrow explodes into pieces and say, "Mistress. Please let me deal with these two."
She looks at me happily and says, "Please go ahead. I do like to watch a good show."
Po and monkey look at me before Po says, "Come on Nate snap out of it. Mind control is easy to break."
Monkey is about to speak before Scorpion says, "oh you misguided fools. This young man seems to know how to be a good boy. He willingly is aiding me and is not mind controlled."
They both gasp before monkey asks, "How could you do this?"
I stay ready as I reply, "Once my mistress controls these lands then I can live happily without abuse from the likes of your kind."
Monkey seems mad as he begins his attack. Po seems hesitant at first but joins in as well. I begin to hum to myself, Die in a fire, as I swing my bamboo staff around to defend against both monkey and Po. Knowing how they move and being able to counter as I use my music I find them being pushed back slowly but surely as Scorpion claps her claws together. She finds this most entertaining and begins to come closer for a better look when Po does something that takes me by surprise.
Po suddenly does his sneezing act making a couple of shurikans fly towards me. Having to defend against them I see monkey dash past me and begin combat with Scorpion who seems easily able to keep him busy. Looking back at Po I find myself on defense once again as he begins to push me back before using his large belly to push me into a nearby pillar. I begin to cough blood unhappily and lay there trying to regain my strength when I hear a yell. Looking up I see Scorpion being sent into the chair where her tail gets stuck and she is unable to move.
Getting up slowly I grab my staff and charge at Po and monkey to face off with them once again striking with the bamboo pole swiftly. Trying to focus on Po so as to retrieve the Orchid I do not notice monkey behind me until scorpion says, "Behind you!"
Something hits my neck causing me to drop my staff. Kneeling I try to focus as a dark mass consumes my vision. Looking at scorpion I reach a hand out before I tilt and fall over.
Upon waking probably sometime later I find myself tied to a wooden pole with everyone staring at me from the Jade Palace. With a happy sigh I am about to speak but can only groan in pain as a solid fist from Tigress hits me right in the Solar Complex.
Taking a few breaths and to regain my brain power I ask in a small voice, "What...was...that...for?"
"You betrayed us to the scorpion. You were going to willingly serve her? You should be put in jail." states Tigress with a hit after each sentence.
In a lot of pain I sit down since my legs might go out from under me later and pant out, "needed...to...get...*cough cough*...her...to...think...I...*cough*...was...her...ally...stupid."
Viper watches as Tigress is about to hit me again when Shifu stops her and says, "Get him some water. Let us listen to what he has to say."
Viper quickly disappears and in less than a minute is back with a cup of water which she pours into my mouth.
Drinking it happily I than continue speaking, "I got caught trying to get the orchid by scorpion and almost got stung. Having seen her way of watching us and seeing po being attacked by monkey, I decided to try and bargain with her. Having the bargain go bad she offered to let me be as I was if I agreed to be her servant willingly. I didn't know if Po would win against monkey easily or not so decided to help by making it look like I was her servant willingly. She made me do a test which I passed and then po arrived. The fight started and I tried to do the least damage possible in the fight so as to let po and monkey win."
Breathing in and coughing a few times with a little blood coming out of my mouth I hear Shifu say, "You did well Nate. You were quite wise in your decision but could have done better. Viper take Nate to his room to rest and heal. His injuries seem quite severe...yet again. I shall talk with the others."
Viper helps me to my room and lays me down before asking, "What was this test you had to take?"
I look away from her and say, "I am sorry, Viper. I had to kiss her without any hesitation. If you want to kill me I understand."
Closing my eyes and waiting for the pain to come...I find the soft feel of scaly lips upon mine. Opening my eyes I see her before me smiling as she says, "You were trying to do what you could to save not only Tigress but Po and monkey. By passing the test you helped save them. I understand but I do still have to punish you."
Her smile gets almost scary as she says, "I think...you are going to have to take me into town for a date and buy me a present."
She knew full well that I was scared of going into town because of the names I would be called. She also knew I had no money and had to borrow it from Po which meant favors I had to pay back later...she was evil but I was hers to do with as she wished after all.
With a sigh I said, "Okay my coiled lover. We shall go on a date and you shall get a beautiful present. I swear it."
Let's see after that was a mission I was on with mantis, Tigress, and Po to deliver a princess to a peace treaty. It kinda went to shit as soon as it started. The little girl was a spoiled brat, also a pig. Po kinda got beat, burned, and yelled at all the time. We got attacked by crocodile bandits, we lost all the cargo, the servants lefts, and oh ya my favorite part the peace treaty was basically slavery. What fun...that was sarcasm. In the end we defeated the bad guys got everything back and Po became friends with the princess.
After that was when Po got his extra sticky dumplings stuck in the training machine when he tried to get something good for mantis since mantis broke up with his girlfriend. I kinda just watched everything go to shit quickly from my favorite sleeping spot in the training hall rafters. Po brought in a boar who had made this place a long time ago and kinda had a grudge against Shifu. I kinda talked to him a bit and he was a really good guy so long as kung-fu was not mentioned. I even offered him advice on how to make upgrades to a few of his inventions and even helped him make blueprints for others. Kinda a cool guy and we still hang out. His son was kinda unhappy at times but I offered him a few games to try out and I teach him the flute which had brightened him up. We defeated the boar in the end with surprisingly enough sticky dumplings. I just watched since Po had it taken care of though I did pulls Viper out of the fight even if she was unhappy about it.
Let's see what was after that...oh! I remember Po and tigress had to go get a statue with a ruby embedded in it and bring it back. The y were shackled to each other the whole trip after being attacked by the croc bandits. Same ones from last time not new ones. They kinda got along better but it seems Tigress decided to kick me out of my room for personal time. I tried to get Viper to help me but after going in she came out smiling and said I could just use her room. I had to give up my room for more than a month...I hated it a little. No don't even think that...bad brain you have. Not like that so drop it.
Okay what happened after that was a dozy. I swear to god if Po ever learns the fluttering finger mindslip I will kill him. Viper still is having memory problems because of him and Tigress will not get near me since then. I want kill him for all that trouble. He never even tried to learn the scrolls in the right order and there are over 5000 of them. Ya great idea Po, 'let's not read the scrolls in order and cause no problems like make everyone suck at everything.' The only reason I never got effected was because earlier that week Shifu had tried to teach me a new technique and unfortunately it caused me temporary blindness which really was annoying. Fucking Po tried to use the fluttering fingers on me but couldn't because I couldn't see him do it. Even better yet no one figured out I was blind for another week until Po said something.
Wiper did kick his ass as well as Tigress and Shifu. I also got a letter from Scorpion while I was blind and luckily no one remembered me getting it. The letter read as following:
"To Nate:
I would like to thank you for your assistance last we saw each other. Thankfully those idiots ran and forgot to close the gate letting me out in the process. If this reaches you that means this messenger actually listened to my threat unlike the last one. I suppose some of these letters may also have been taken by Master Shifu to keep you 'innocent'. He probably has told you bad things about me to scare you but if you do want to help me again please wait. When I appear next and you see me just kneel and kiss my lips once again and you shall be back in my service. See you soon.
Love,
Scorpion.
Lucky for me no one has found it yet. I say yet because it seems Viper is keeping more of an eye on me than usual...its kinda scary. Well I will see you later. Be ready for my next small book to the public of this Fine community called the Valley of peace.
