As exams inched closer with each passing day, time for play and socializing seemed to grow harder and harder to come by. For one of these shared breaks, Kanaya had borrowed Karkat's console to play Dead Rising 2 while Karkat sat in Sollux's room on his laptop, yelling into Sollux's headset (also purloined), while Sollux sat on his bed and griped about his English homework.

Muffled by two sets of doors, a slammed door and an annoyed yet adorable snarl could be heard. Feferi threw open her door into the bathroom, stomped over to Kanaya's door, and knocked, "Kanaya? Can I come in?"

"Yes!" Kanaya announced into her headset, leading a confused Karkat to bark, "What? I'm right here, you don't have to yell!"

Kanaya responded, "I wasn't talking to you, Feferi just came in."

Karkat groaned, "Ugh, tell her you're busy! We've got a fuckton of zombies that aren't going to eviscerate themselves!"

"Should I notify her that you're now my master and mouthpiece?"

Feferi poked her head in before entering properly, spying on the headset. "Is that Karkat? Shake your head if it's Eridan. I need to talk to you and Karkat but I don't want to deal with Eridan right now."

Kanaya raised an eyebrow, "Oh? Feferi needs to talk to both of us."

"Me? What does she need me for?" Karkat sputtered, "Good fucking gracious, now I /know/ there's some weighty concern if your exalted consultation is not enough."

"Truly, you are a delight. I am sure that whatever distress she is under, she needs your gentle sympathies and tender words to restore her faith." Kanaya said to Karkat, "Also, Feferi, unless you wish this issue to be conveyed secondhand we're either going to need skype or phones involved somehow."

"Can do, don't let Karkat go anywhere," Feferi said, her hands up in a stay-there gesture before she skittered back to her room. In a half-second, she logged into skype and called over to Kanaya, "I'm on invisible, but I'm on!"

"It would easier for you to come over here, you know!" Kanaya announced loudly, leading Karkat to squawk once more in her headset, "All right, all right, I'll stop using the headset, just get on skype!"

Feferi unplugged her laptop and shuffled over to plop next to Kanaya, carefully holding her computer up to initiate a call as soon as Karkat logged on. She ran a hand trough her hair and swept it back, more out of habit than anything else; she knew Karkat would likely not care how she looked, but she had gotten into the ritual of tidying her hair for video and voice-only calls.

When the sound on Karkat's end of the call first emerged, it was the bickering of two young men Feferi heard.

"They just sprung it on me-"

"I don't care, do it in your own room!"

Feferi balked, "Oh, um, is Sollux there?"

Sollux cleared his throat and waved to both of the girls briefly before speaking to Karkat again, "Seriously KK go back to your room for this."

"Oh come on!" Karkat whined, stomping his foot and leaning over at Sollux as menacingly as he could.

"I'm not getting dragged into drama!" Sollux snapped, now sitting back at his desk.

Karkat shouted more insults at him as he gathered up his computer. In the meantime, Feferi and Kanaya had an intimate view of the front of Karkat's sweatshirt as he walked.

Before Feferi could even hear the sound of a door closing, Feferi was covering the microphone of her headset, explaining to Kanaya, "As soon as Karkat is back to his own room, I have to tell him, but Sollux can't hear this. Guess what Eridan did. Go on, guess!" Before Kanaya could answer, Feferi blurted out, brows furrowed, "He told Sollux that I told you and Karkat about their relationship! Can you believe that?"

"What." Kanaya said flatly, the commotion of Karkat trying to get his key from his pocket only exacerbated by the scratching of his sweatshirt.

Feferi threw her hands up in irritation, uncovering the microphone, "EXACTLY!" She snorted and ran a hand through her strawberry hair, tugging it a little, "Apparently you guys have known for, like, forever, and he wants me to take the fall!"

"More or less. He decided that he was the martyr in his own fairy tale because he wanted to spill the guts of the affair to somebody."

Karkat, now settled in his dorm announced loudly, "What? What just happened?"

Kanaya droned, "Eridan pushed us under the bus."

"Us?" Feferi spat, leveling a ferocious look at Karkat's grainy mug, "He pushed ME under the bus. You guys are fine. Sollux thinks I told you two they're doing the two-man tango; or he will when he checks his email. Ooooooh, I could have just STRANGLED him!"

"That slimy, stupid son of a bitch." Karkat growled, flopping back against his badly designed college standard desk chair with an imbalanced thunk, "I'm sorry that he decided you deserved the wrath of his stupid actions, Fef."

Kanaya nodded with a long-suffering sigh, " You know, I really should've expected this to happen sooner."

"Sooner? Which part? The part where he decided his dick came first?" Karkat sat back up, leaning closer to the screen once more.

Feferi choked back a giggle, and put her angry face back on. "Yeah, so, if Sollux puts me in the doghouse, could you guys put in some good words for me? And feel free to smack Eridan when you see him."

"Hah, I'll tell him the truth myself, he's right fucking there after all! It's not like I have to ford the goddamn English Channel to see him, you literally watched me walk from his room." Karkat got up as though he was about to go right back down the hallway.

Kanaya held a hand up, "Hold up. As much as he needs to reevaluate his choices and our patience, there is a fleetingly small chance that he might have been just looking out for Sollux."

"What? You think?" Karkat's face contorted in confusion.

"Apparently Sollux doesn't want anybody knowing about him liking guys? Anyway, it doesn't matter," Feferi said, her phone buzzing in her hip pocket. She pulled it out to look at the number, and shoved it back into her pocket. "I agreed, so I guess I have to live up to taking the blame.

Fuck him and his big sorrowful eyes and pathetic pleading...'Oh Fef,'" she imitated, putting on a nasal voice that sounded nothing like Eridan, "'You got to help meh an' risk one a your friendships on account a I'm too fuckin' full a myself to admit to any wrong-doin'. For fuck's sake I'm dyin' here, weh.'"

Kanaya blinked and looked back to the laptop and back to Feferi, "'Weh?' I don't think I've ever heard him say that."

"CREATIVE LICENSE!" Feferi spat.

"If he's not saying it with his mouth he's saying it out of his pathetic, stupid ass! How does he keep getting away with this stuff?" Karkat barked.

Kanaya replied, " The awesome Christmas presents for one."

Feferi's phone buzzed again and she growled, "Pardon me one second, I have to deal with an asshole." She set her laptop on the desk and stood up, walking to the corner of the room and answering her phone. "What."

Kanaya called over, "Give him hell!" She turned back toward Karkat on Skype and leaned forward, "That being said, he might not be doing this strictly for his own gain. I mean how many times has he really outed somebody by accident?"

"He's done the whole 'snivel like a toddler with crocodile tears' thing, though." Karkat gestured with a pointed finger.

"Right, but his track record with trying to keep someone's attention is pretty bad, in case you haven't forgotten." Kanaya explained, "Notches on a bedpost aside, he generally doesn't get a lot of second dates in case you haven't noticed. For fuck's sake, you remember hearing about his first time, don't you?"

"Yeah, that was pretty much the most awkward thing to ever pollute my aural ducts..." Karkat tugged at the collar of his sweatshirt, recalling that awful, awful memory.

"No, we are NOT cool, Eridan!" Feferi fumed, clenching her phone tightly enough she could almost hear the black and fuschia case. "This is definitively uncool! Cool is the opposite of what is going on here!" She paused, listening, before rolling her eyes and turning to Kanaya and her laptop, "My weight in chocolate is a good start...OH MY GOD ERIDAN, YOU DON'T JUST ASK A WOMAN HER WEIGHT! Yes, I know what I fucking said!"

"Ask for Karkat's weight in chocolate!" Kanaya chimed.

"Hey!" Karkat lunged toward the screen again, chair clunking once more in the process.

"Karkat's weight in chocolate, too," Feferi nodded, shooting Karkat a thumbs-up. "And get some goddamn pizzas over here. Anchovy and extra cheese...I'll ask." She moved the phone a few inches from her face, "What do you guys want? Dinner's on Captain Liarpants."

"Whatever meat lovers equivalent there is, I want more sausage than even Eridan can handle!" Karkat announced loudly.

"Bell peppers and olives for me." Kanaya said.

"Might as well bring some to the closet so Sollux can participate too." Karkat replied once more.

"Cool, make sure you're over here within thirty minutes," Feferi said to Karkat, and went back to the phone, "Kanaya's usual-peppers and olives-and Karkat wants a well-seasoned pig on his. Make sure you include a good tip...No! Pizza delivery is one of the most lethal jobs in the US, you aren't just giving him two bucks-So help me if you don't tip well I will harpoon you! No you can't come over for the pizza party, we're mad at you!"

Kanaya laughed, slapping the desk, "You tell him!"

"Yes, all of us!" Feferi added, "And cheesebread. No, we're not cool yet...Don't take that tone with me, Ampora! You're buying me pizza so I'm not starving and wrathful while I figure out how you DO make it right, got that? Yeah, that's what I thought." She grinned and shot the other two a thumbs-up and a wink.

"Offhand, I'd say that this means you have to come over here now." Kanaya announced to Karkat.

"I have to monitor my hall. " Karkat shrugged.

Kanaya sighed through her nose, rolling her eyes, "Really?"

"We've been over this, Maryam; some of us have responsibilities that need to be taken seriously and I'm not going to slack off while I'm on the clock. You can come over here if you want, though." Karkat pointed.

Feferi's eyebrows raised and she walked to the laptop, "Karcrab can't come over?"

Kanaya shook her head, "We can go over there with the food though if we want."

Feferi nodded, "Change of plan, Eridan, send it to your own dorm and I want you to bring the pizzas to Karkat's room; Kanaya and I will be there shortly. No, you still can't have any, but you DO have to do the chicken dance when you deliver them...You heard me." Feferi grinned brightly and bounced on the balls of her feet. "So buy the damn song and put it on your phone, or I'll throw in the teapot dance too."

Karkat nodded from the other side of the camera, "All right, so if you guys are coming over no monkey business, you got it? And if there's any singular incident, it's my job to go deal with it before you guys have a mani-pedi night in my room like it's girls' night out."

"Right, because your room is ideal for that kind of party." Kanaya shook her head, "If I weren't so aware of your character, I'd call you sexist for that."

Feferi hung up her cell phone and stuffed it in her pocket, wearing a bright and cheery smile. "Come on, Kanaya, I'm sure Karkat's room is ideal for a fancy party! Karkat, should I bring my evening hazmat suit, or something a little less formal, like a gasmask and radiation gloves?"

"Very funny, just let me know when you're downstairs." Karkat grumbled, immediately cutting off the transmission,
Feferi giggled and took her laptop back, heading back to her own room, "You heard the man, Kan-kan."

"Kan-kan." Kanaya responded, raising her eyebrows dryly with a quiet grin.

"It rhymes!" Feferi called from her room, plugging her computer back in and grabbing her purse. "Bundle up, it's freezing out there! Ready to go when you are!"

"In theory, but it's considered poor literary prowess to rhyme a word with itself." Kanaya began to properly bundle herself up for the cold outside, "However, my full name is much more difficult to rhyme."

"It's easy if you take a few liberties!" Feferi giggled, buttoning up her baby-pink coat and slipping on some white gloves.

"Maybe if you stretch out the word 'desire' to sound more like 'desi-yah' it could suffice." Kanaya was dressed in minutes, not bothering to wear anything too flashy to just Karkat's dorm.

Feferi beamed, getting the door, "I spy a parriah trying to light a fi-yah, while i aspi-yah to rhyme Kanaya with...um...shoot! I was doing so well!"

"So very very well." Kanaya walked through the door, leading the way across campus to Karkat's room, shutting the door behind them.

arsenicCatnip began trolling carcinoGeneticist
AC: :33 karkitty!
AC: :33 *ac swishes her tail and pounces the fussy fellow*
AC: :33 you have to m33t my new furiend!
AC: :33 spurrcifically, you have to m33t her right now, beclaws we're going to get some dinner and you are cordially invited :33
AC: :33 join us?
CG: I CAN'T. I'M ON DUTY RIGHT NOW AND HAVE TO BE AVAILABLE IN CASE ANY OF THESE MORONS GET INTO MORE TROUBLE THAN THEY CAN HANDLE. I'D LET YOU KNOW ABOUT ALL MY DUTIES BUT I'M SURE THAT YOU'RE MORE THAN AWARE BY NOW OF THE THANKLESS SACRIFICES I MAKE TO KEEP THE QUO AT ITS GODDAMN STATUS.
AC: :33 yeah, yeah, an anarchy of broken toilets, i remember.
AC: :33 want us to bring you anything?
CG: IT'S OKAY. MAYBE WE CAN MEET UP SOMETIME THIS WEEKEND OR SOMETHING. I'M BUSY TOMORROW BUT I DON'T THINK I HAVE PLANS FOR SUNDAY YET.
AC: :33 we'll have to s33!
AC: :33 good luck with the anarchy!
arsenicCatnip ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist

"Siiiiiiiigh," said Nepeta, flopping back on her dorm bed, "He's busy, but he can maybe to Sunday. You have to meet him, though! He's the best. And fun to tease!"

"Everybody is fun to tease," replied Terezi as she tossed her rubix cube to herself, "It's all a matter of finding the right buttons to press." She elongated her S-sounds into pronounced hisses, mimicking a serpent.

Nepeta grabbed her plush and tossed it into the air, catching it and repeating a few times. "I sup-paws you're right," she giggled, drawing out the wordplay, "but some people are more fun than others! Plus he's really great, I like him a lot and I think you would too!"

"If he wants to play with us, he better keep his wits about him, I don't like having to wait for slowpokes to catch up." The lights were all the way up in her living room yet she was still holding the cube suspiciously close to her face. Almost as though she were trying to cipher its mysteries by sheer sight.

"Purr-obably not a purr-oblem!" Nepeta giggled, sitting up to pick up a twenty-sided die. "How good do you think my odds are of being able to talk the goblins out of ransacking the town? I have eight ranks in bluff, can I convince them that there's a curse and the town isn't worth bothering?"

"Show me where you are on the board." Terezi placed the cube down and hunkered over, making note of where Nepeta gestured her placemarkers to be.

Nepeta pointed to a small blue statuette of a kitten, "Here's my cat-warrior rogue, and over here," she pointed to some bright red Lego figurines on the far side of the board, "are the goblins. I have a little time befur they get close, at least two turns I'd say, unless they have su-purr quick travel feats or something."

Terezi gestured to each in turn, "Goblins are mindless drones at best and hordes of crazy monkeys at worst. HOBgoblins are the ones you can reason with if you have a high enough roll. If we have good enough rolls then I can swoop in and scorch half the board while you wrestle down whatever goblins are leftover."

"In that case, I'll hide and pre-purr to pick off the survivors, laying in wait to feel their juicy flesh torn asunder by my sharp and deadly claws!"

Nepeta purred, reaching over to the bucket of lollipops and sucking candy. Her first pick was a lemon sucker, and she made a face, putting it back and rooting around for something else, "I hope that wasn't the last root beer dum dum."

"I'll have the lemon one if you don't want it." Terezi reached over in Nepeta's direction without looking up, simply flicking her fingers back and forth. She didn't seem to have any issue with spit-swapping, germs, or personal space.

Nepeta handed her the lemon pop and found a watermelon one for herself, giggling and helping herself to it. "Okay! So fur-st, the mighty dragon sweeps down and barbecues the goblin horde. Roll!"

Just as the die landed, Terezi's phone went off at her side. She picked it up and read the text on the brightly lit screen. She grinned briefly and tapped out an answer before even looking at the number on the die. The number was 18. Burnination was imminent.

Nepeta cackled and gently flicked over all of the goblins, "Dead dead dead dead aaaand dead. Woo! EXP fur all! Except the dead guys. No EXP fur the dead guys." She glanced over, "So who's that?"

"Vriska. She's describing the sad sacks that Alpha Phi Omega have to offer on campus. Lame. Very glad I decided to stay in with you." Terezi meticulously texted Vriska back, leaving her phone in her lap when she was done and picking up the notebook of scores she was keeping.

Nepeta canted her head, "What's she studying? Or planning to study, or whatefur."

"She's between theater and English. She was supposed to decide last month so the school's been getting on her case about it."

Nepeta bit down on her lollipop and felt the crunch of candy between her teeth, "She can't decide?"

Terezi shook her head, "Yeah, she probably won't decide for another month or so. Maybe longer. She doesn't care so much about the whole streamlined education process, she just wants to learn what she cares about."

"I know that feeling, my purr-ents thought I was nuts to go into art." Nepeta searched the bucket for another candy, the stick of the last pop sticking out of the corner of her mouth. "They were all, 'But you love animals, and veterinary medicine is steady work!' but I just wanna be an artist. I purr-obably won't ever get famous or anything but it's what I wanna do."

Leaning herself back against the bed, she laid her head back and slid her glasses off, "Pfft. Pay. Money is the most important part at the end of the day though. I mean, you've got to pay your bills and all. I'm almost positive that Vriska would be content with living paycheck to paycheck at Walmart and working at Renn Faires during the fall."

"Well, yeah, you have to make ends meet, but you have to like what you do, too, right?" Nepeta chirped, ever cheerful. "There's no sense in doing something you don't at least enjoy, fur study or fur a career."

"The best way to look at it is to do what you're best at, that way there's no way you can fail at it," Terezi nodded to herself, "I mean, drawing's the thing you're best at? Then go for it. You shouldn't have any problem succeeding. That's the problem with people and their majors, they go in picking the thing they LIKE the most, not the thing they do well." She began nibbling the end of the arm of her glasses as punctuation.

"You're one to talk, Miss Passionate-About-Law" Nepeta giggled, sticking her tongue out as she started to play with the plush again. "Sometimes we choose the things we're best at because we like them the most! Also, you can't major in roleplay games and shouting at the TV."

Terezi chimed back, "What about movies? Directing or writing or some such?"

Nepeta pulled a face, crinkling her nose, "Ew, no thank you. Who wants to live life obeying scripts and plot lines? I'm all about s-paw-ntineity! Could you imagine me trying to direct a mew-vie?" She laughed, and leaned against Terezi, puppeting the plush in Terezi's lap to make it seem like it was talking, "Okay people, the script says that purr-otaginist A is sup-paws-ed to chase after romantic interest B and beg her to stay, but that's lame so let's have the love interest egg the purr-otagonist's house and moon him. Then she buys a racecar."

"That movie is splendidly worthwhile," Terezi cackled, rolling over onto her side. She reached over to one of the fallen figurines on the floor, "But you're right, there's no money to be made in roleplaying exclusively. You'd have to find something to do it with."

"And un-fur-tunately, most rennaissance faires are seasonal and don't payfurry well," Nepeta sighed, taking the plush back and giving it a nose boop. "Boop! And yes, I've checked. Also, my attempts to find a purr-ofessional LARPing o-purr-tunity have also been fruitless. Prop and cosplay commissions are a paw-sibility though...but only as side money. I've gotten good money from it be-fur, but it's s-purr-adic and un-purr-edictable work."

Terezi, having zoned out of the conversation minutes before, yawned and picked at some candy stuck in her molars. She heard her cell phone chime once again, leading her to pick it up and read the text on the screen. More updates from Vriska. Better to pay attention to the friend she had over, she decided.

Nepeta rolled her shoulder until she heard a pop, and reached for a manual to decide what she'd do with her gold from the encounter, when her phone rang. She checked the caller and gave Terezi an apologetic look, "Mind if I get this? It's Aradia."

Terezi nodded in return, "No worries."

Nepeta answered her phone, "Cat and Dragon adventuring agency, when there's imps in your crops, we pull out the stops. What would you like killed today?"

Nepeta laughed, "I thought you'd like that. So what's up? Oh?" She giggled and whispered to Terezi, "She misdialed." She resumed talking to Aradia, "Yeah, no, texting him sounds like a good idea. I mean, if he's not calling...Okay, I hope you can reach him!" Hanging up, she plopped her phone on the bed beside her and wrote something down on her character sheet, "She's trying to reach her friend and he's purr-oving elusive. How much gold do we get fur each goblin, and are we splitting it fifty-fifty, or do you want more for making all of them crispy?"

Aradia shook her head, chuckling to herself for having called Nepeta instead of Sollux. She had already tried once to reach him, but it was all for naught, and on her friend's advice she sent him a quick text of "hey are y0u d0ing anything 0n saturday?" before scrolling through her conversation with Equius while she waited.

apocalypseArisen has begun trolling centaursTesticle
AA: hey there dreamy h0ws it g0ing?
CT: D - So far I have nothing to complain about
CT: D - That being said I also have nothing especially interesting going on
AA: i d0nt supp0se y0u have time t0 visit the sh0p?
AA: its dead in here
CT: D - I had said nothing interesting
CT: D - But I do have to remain on campus for my office hours
AA: aw 0_0
AA: thats a shame because i was s0 h0ping t0 see my hands0me stalli0n
AA: h0w ab0ut t0night?
CT: D - That w001d be preferable
CT: D - Especially if you decide to flatter me so lasciviously
AA: 0h n0!
AA: i am afraid it is lascivi0us truth rather than flattery
AA: s0rry t0 disapp0int
AA: alth0ugh i w0uld still like t0 kn0w when y0u are next free f0r an aftern00n
AA: the museum is 0pening up a new exhibit and there is n0 0ne i w0uld rather g0 with than y0u
AA: hell0?
CT: D - I apologize for my absence
CT: D - There was business to attend to
AA: n0 pr0blem!
CT: D - That being said I w001d greatly enjoy this e%hibit with you
AA: great!
AA: h0w d0es tuesday l00k f0r y0u?
CT: D - I w00ld prefer Thursday
AA: thursday i have w0rk
AA: h0w ab0ut friday?
CT: D - My fridays must always be planned in advance
CT: D - I have to call my family that night
AA: all day?
AA: wait shit i pr0mised t0 hang 0ut with s0llux anyway
CT: D - Hm
CT: D - Why have I not met this friend of yours yet?
AA: that is an excellent questi0n and 0ne that must s00n be remedied!
AA: but n0t 0n friday evidently
AA: h0ld 0n i will call him and see if he w0uld be willing t0 d0 s0mething this weekend
AA: but it is n0t as if i d0 n0t want y0u t0 meet!
AA: actually i have been wanting t0 intr0duce y0u tw0 f0r s0me time n0w
AA: i want tw0 0f the m0st imp0rtant men in my life t0 get al0ng
AA: he isnt answering
AA: i w0nder if next week w0uld w0rk better?
CT: D - My parents are not forgiving of changes in schedule
CT: D - Otherwise I w001d oblige you
AA: its 0kay
AA: the last thing i want t0 d0 is start getting 0n my b0yfriends parents bad side
AA: sh0uld i see if he can d0 lunch 0n saturday?
AA: i w0rk 0n sunday
CT: D - That sh001d work
CT: D - I must go
CT: D - I will entrust this scheduling issue to you for the moment

With a sigh, she set her phone aside and looked around. She had heard that there was a performance going on at the new college theater, which might account for the complete lack of patrons at the coffee shop. It was possible that after the show, they would be flooded with business, but for the time being there was no one coming in and her coworker was on dinner break. She began to count the straws for the sixth time when she heard her phone chime.

Eager for the reprieve from boredom, she eagerly texted back.

apocalypseArisen has begun trolling twinArmageddons
AA: hey are y0u d0ing anything 0n saturday?
TA: no iim free why?
AA: because i think it is high time y0u and equius g0t t0 meet 0u0
TA: 2ure, fiine, iif iit2 that iimportant two you
TA: FUCK
AA: ?
TA: ii cant. 2hiit came up
AA: 0h n0!
AA: what ab0ut next wendesday?
TA: iim not 2ure yet, iits not liike ii can plan my entiire week iin advance or anythiing.
TA: ii can try two 2ee what ii can do but riight now all ii can 2ay ii2 that iit2 a maybe
AA: wait sh00t i have an exam the next day
TA: thii2 ju2t got way more poiintle22 than ii thought po22iible.
AA: are there any days y0u kn0w f0r sure y0u have free?
TA: monday ii thiink.
TA: maybe you 2hould ju2t aiim for the end of the 2eme2ter before we go home.
AA: my last final is 0n that m0nday
AA: i will check but i think equius sh0uld be able t0 hang 0ut then t00!
AA: i mean his tut0ring h0urs sh0uldnt really be a thing anym0re right?
AA: thats the very last day 0f anything at all this semester.
TA: for the 2ake of your ea2e iill do whatever iit take2 two keep that day come hell or hiigh water
AA: that reminds me i can reserve 0ur bus tickets t0 g0 h0me f0r the day after that
AA: that sh0uld give us time t0 get h0me and get settled again bef0re christmas

Aradia waited for a little while, to see if Sollux responded at all. Nothing. Minutes ticked by, and she sighed. One of the great issues of texting is that one never knew when the other might suddenly drop off communication. She was just about to count straws for a seventh time when she heard the bell at the door jingle, and she smiled brightly for the brown-and-purple-haired figure that entered.

"Oh hey! How's it going? What's your pleasure?" she beamed, watching Eridan unwrap his scarf and blow on his hands.

"Evenin' Ar," he replied, unbuttoning his peacoat and slipping his gloves into his pockets. He looked around, "Christ, I seen funerals with more life in 'em than this place."

"Welcome to Reddings' Mausoleum of Coffee," she said, bowing, and leaned on the counter, "Pick your poison. Do you want the same thing you got the other day?"

"Nah, I'm feelin' like somethin' a li'l different. Gimme a caramel late with cinnamon an' a shot a espresso, extra whip an' chocolate shavin's, with all the caffiene you see fit to givin' to a healthy human bein'."

"So exactly the same as before but with espresso. Size?" she asked, getting to work.

"Whatever one accounts for the most caffiene gettin' in my system as deliciously as possible. An' a side a gossip, a course. Oh, an' I'll have your prints ready Thursday."

"Awesome! Here, an extra shot of espresso, on the house," she grinned, pulling the lever on the machine.

"God bless, Ar. I don't suppose I could manage a muffin too, eh?" Eridan asked, pulling out his wallet to pay for the coffee.

"Free gossip or free muffin; choose one, and choose wisely," she said, finishing off his drink.

"Gossip, then. That's got to be a better value. Gimme the muffin anyway, though."

Aradia pulled a muffin from the case, before stopping, "Actually, we have some day-old scones that need a new home, I can give you one of those for free."

"Temptin', but I'm cravin' a muffin right now." One scone and coffee exchanged for bills and change, and Eridan leaned against the counter, picking the wrapper off of his muffin. "Now, how 'bout that gossip?"

"Sollux wore bee pajamas until he was ten," Aradia said, boxing up a half-dozen day-old scones. "Not footie, though. Hey, take these to him, will you?"

"Good to know, but that ain't the juicy gossip I was lookin' for," Eridan chuckled, gesturing with is coffee. "Hopin' for somethin' a li'l more salacious...out a curiosity, you an' he ever...?"

"Ah...well, unless you mean how I thought I was going to marry him when we were six, I'd have to say no," Aradia chuckled, placing the boxed scones in a take away bag.

"Didn' realize I was competin' with a childhood sweetheart," Eridan smirked. "Hope there's no hard feelin's."

Aradia snickered, "No, it was just kid stuff, you know? He played house with me once and I thought that meant we were married, then my friend Tavros played house with me too, and I thought that meant I'd have to marry them both. Six year olds think stuff like that, you know?"

"That is the most adorable fuckin' thing I ever heard," Eridan laughed, picturing a sulking mini-Sollux. "He the jealous sort? I can see it now, clear as day: him buildin' himself a lego cave to sulk in or some shit."

"It wasn't like that at all!" Aradia grinned, shaking her head and beginning to wipe down the machine where a bit of espresso had spilled. "They worked out a schedule for alternating days, with the exception of birthdays. Things only got ugly when Dad said I couldn't have two husbands...then we had no choice but to elope to the McDonalds, all three of us. Tavros's uncle Rufi found us hiding in under a table."

Eridan nearly choked on a bit of muffin, cackling. "Oh my god, he is never hearin' the end a that." He took a drink, and thumped on his chest to make sure the muffin had gone down properly, before leaning over the counter and giving her a look, "So, seriously, you an' he never even thought about gettin' it on?"

Aradia snapped a dishcloth at him, laughing, "Nope, and I will have you know that with the exception of my boyfriend, I have never been with anyone, nor do I intend to for as long as we are together! So you can just keep that wandering eye on Sollux, thank you."

"Can't help myself, Ar," he smirked, hands up in surrender, "Got an eye for beauty, whether or not I'm contemplatin' makin' a pass. But you just rest your mind, I ain't plannin' on anythin', not while I got Sol." He picked up his muffin again, "'Specially if you got yourself a hot piece a ass waitin' on you."

"More stallion than ass," Aradia sighed dreamily, her hips wiggling a little. "Though, his ass IS pretty nice."

"Well fuck me, a stallion, she says! You got to tell me more," he laughed, returning to his muffin. "Hung like a-"

"-Precisely," she smirked, before putting her hand to her chest in mock propriety, "But we mustn't speak on such things, for he is very proper and dislikes indecency and lewdnes...except behind closed doors."

"An' somethin' tells me you get him behind those closed doors a lot." Eridan was no stranger to the smile of a woman in love, and he could see that smile stretching not just ot her eyes, but her whole being. He balled up the muffin wrapper and tossed it into the trash can from where he stood, "Sounds like a dream come true, girl, good on you. Good thing Sol ain't a jealous sort, for havin' to share you."

"I wouldn't say he's not-" She was cut off by a text sound of her phone. "Speak of the devil..."

TA: 2ound2 liike a plan two me.

"That Sol?" Eridan peeked at her phone, and a thought occurred to her. With a twinkle of mischief in her eye, she typed back to him.

AA: eridan says hi
AA: sh0uld i invite him when y0u and equius meet t00?
TA: WHAT

Giggling, Aradia set her phone aside while Eridan gave her a quizical look. "What's goin' on? Somethin' funny?"

"Just teasing Sollux. I want him and Mister Stallion to meet before we go away on Christmas Break, and it's been hard trying to meet everyone's schedules."

"Don't tell me you're afraid your beau is jealous a Sol, is he?"

"No," she said, shaking her head, before pausing, "At least, I don't THINK so...but it wouldn't hurt for everyone to meet and get to know each other before we go away, right? Unfortunately, unless something changes, the monday after finals might be the first and only chance we all get to sit down together and talk."

Eridan looked at his own calendar on his phone, "Huh, fuck, that's a couple weeks off..."
Aradia heard her phone chime again, and Eridan leaned over to see, to which Aradia simply backed away from the counter for her privacy.

TA: fuck ii dont know

Hmm...though she had meant it as a joke, maybe it WOULD be a good idea to bring Eridan along. He was charismatic, a charmer, but on the off-chance that Equius was jealous, Sollux's partner sitting at the table would send a clear message that Sollux wasn't going to try to get in Equius's way. The longer she thought about it, the better it sounded!

AA: it might be g00d t0 have an icebreaker there
AA: als0 i am giving him s0me day 0ld sc0nes t0 give y0u since he will see y0u bef0re i d0
TA: youre the mom ii never a2ked for. maybe ii can get you 2ome moderately u2ed iinternet a2 thank2 lol.
AA: n0 thank y0u i have been t0 the internet and f0und it sticky and kind 0f funny smelling
TA: gue22 iit2 not for everyone. only cool cat2 allowed.
AA: yes the internet is fam0usly full 0f cats
TA: gtfo my siight.

She pocketed her phone, and leaned on the counter, "Hey, you wouldn't happen to want to come and keep Sollux company on our little playdate, would you?"

"An' risk not bein' able to make Sol uncomfortable while listenin' to more about his bee pajamas in front a your Stallion? I wouldn' miss it for the world. Just want me to come an' look pretty?

"Well, helping the conversation keep going would help, too! Sollux can be kind of quiet sometimes."

"Sure, I can help on that end. Any topics in particular you were hopin' to include? I'm afraid some a my photography jargon might go a li'l over your heads."

"Just as well," Aradia shrugged, "I don't think my boyfriend cares much for photography." Eridan raised an eyebrow and she waved him off, "I'm not sure why, just a sense I get. Oooh! How about history? I like history!"

"No foolin'?" Eridan smiled, settling in against the counter, "Fancy you should mention, but I'm sorta a history a buff, myself."

"No kidding!" Aradia beamed, leaning against the counter. "What's your favorite time period? Culture? Subject? Lately I've been fascinated by Anglo-Saxon burial mounds."

Eridan shook his head, "Naw, I'm more a the millitary history sort. Like, I been readin' up on Custer lately, an-hear me out, now-the guy was actually kinda fascinatin'. I mean obviously the Indian Wars were a monumental sack a horseshit, I mean, come ON, but the man himself was an interestin' bloke if you got down to it. First a all, he was the original prettyboy a the military..."

After that, it all sort of became white noise to Aradia. She knew he was speaking, she knew she was meant to seem interested...but he seemed so enthused that she didn't have the heart to tell him she had no particular interest in modern Western or American history. She moved behind one of the coffee machines and discreetly texted Sollux.

AA: als0 d0es eridan have an 0ff butt0n?
AA: he keeps talking 0_0

"...An' you can't really blame him for courtin' favor when he's got friends in high places, can you? 'Course not! So really, he..."

AA: a l0t
TA: yeah that happen2.
TA: that2 what you get when you want me to be 2ociial, ii end up with the 2elf centered drama queef who want2 all the attentiion and all the bed cover2.
TA: metaphoriical bedcover2 ii mean.
AA: s0 y0u are telling me t0 sm0ther him in his sleep?
AA: he d0es n0t seem t0 be sleeping
AA: please advise
TA: ii am afraiid iit ii2 already two late
TA: but 2iince you are already 2ufferiing the wrath of eriidan, iif you want to take hiim off my hand2 for a niight thatd be pretty fuckiing 2plendid on your part.

"...I mean, the man risked an' endured a fuckin' court marshal for goin' to visit his wife; an' if that ain't love, I can't say as I can tell what is anymore, you know? On the other hand, there was the li'l matter a his alleged other wife..."
Aradia sighed; the things she'd do for Sollux.
AA: i will keep him distracted then but i am sending him h0me 0nce the c0ffee sh0p cl0ses
AA: use y0ur time well

"...So while I ain't condonin' what he done, an' obviously he had that whole Li'l Bighorn fiasco comin' to him, I'm just sayin' that history might a been really different if he'd lived on, maybe elected to office. See, I figure..."

...It was going to be a long shift.