Hi everybody! I wrote this ttoday and may have based Jacks pain on a friend. You all know the drill! Hope you like it! Read and review please, it tells me if you enjoy it.

"thoughts"

"dialogue"

"Hi Erza, I said something stupid before I passed out didn't I?" Jack said/asked.

"Oh Jack maybe I should remind you. Do I look alright to you?... Why don't you act like a girl for once and get me some bandages woman!" Erza recited with anger creeping up in her voice. "And to think I was going to reward you so well too." Erza pouted. Jacks face went from nervous to complete sadness. The reason for this was he could be having fun fun time with Erza the Titania Scarlet of all people! He could have told so many stories to some fellow perverts! Erza then walked out the area, she had to help with the reconstruction of the Guild Hall.

"Alright brat where and what color?" Makorov asked.

"Hmm I didn't really think about it... Purple and on the right side of my neck." Jack answered with a serious tone.

"Ok brat here you go." The old man replied as he stamped him. "Brat I have a question for you."

"What is it old man? Could it be you want me to take some hot pictures of Erza? I'll totally do old man as long as I get my hospital bill paid!" Jack exclaimed with a nose bleed already imagining the red head in her birthday suit.

"No boy its not that but go for it I'll cover the bill. I have to ask what are your relations with Aya Mitomi?" Makorov asked very seriously.

Jack practically froze at the name. "I'd rather not talk about her. Its a bad omen." Makorov looked at Jack for a moment then decided to let it go.

Jack walked over to where Erza was. He saw her talking to a stripper, a guy who just breathed fire into the air and a blonde girl with a blue cat being held to her chest."lucky cat." He thought as he stood next to Erza and said"Hi everyone my name is Jack Cakeston!"

The pink hair guy looked at him and said "My name is Natsu! Hey aren't you the guy who kicked Phantoms guild master's ass?"

"Yes I am." He replied thinking he was about to get praised for how bad ass he is.

"JACK FIGHT ME!"

"And the bitchs love me, wait what? No I'm not going to fight you. I can't even feel my crotch man! Hey Erza-chan did you have a mouth with that?" Every single person in the group were shocked that he just said that to Erza of all people! Erza's face got a slight blush but she waved it off and got on her knees in front of him. Jack smiled and said "Look at that the Titania want some more of the-eeeeh, cough, cough!" Jack was cut short and fell to the floor. Erza had delivered a mean right hook into his crotch.

"Do you feel it now?~Jack-san." Erza said while saying his name in a singsong voice. Jack mumbled something. "What was that?" Erza asked wondering what he was attempting to say. Jack just could seem to talk so she said " everyone introduce yourselves before he can say anything that will land him in the hospital. The stripper stepped forward and introduced himself."Hi I'm gray fullbuster. I use ice make magic if your wondering." Then the blonde girl with the cat walked up. "Hi I'm Lucy Heartfila. And I hope your not as big a pervert that Erza said you were." More mumbling. "I'm Happy!"

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"Did that cat... Just talk? Eh must be me going insane. Nothing new there. But damn the blondes tits are huge. That cat is really lucky!" Jack thought. Jack finally had the strength to stand and he looked at all of them then said"what I'm about to ask you all is of the most importance. Do any of you know... How Erza's breast fit in her chest plate?" Jack asked this time sure he wouldn't feel more pain for it. Everyone was thinking the same thing in unison "he is screwed!" Erza turned to Jack and looked him in the eye and said"Its a tight fit." That shocked everyone.

"Really well I thought you were going to say magic."

"Hey Jack what's the most magical thing you've seen?" Lucy asked curious about him.

"Well I have to say it was Erza when she was falling from the sky, using her ultimate attack!" Jack replied.

"How was I the most magical thing you've seen?" Erza asked curiously.

"BECAUSE I GOT THIS AMAZING VIEW OF YOUR BOOBS!" Jack said with a nose bleed.

Erza's cheeks turned bright red and then Erza decided to copy Jack's signature finish. "YOU PERVERT!"

Erza exclaimed as she uppercuts Jack in the crotch again. Jack flew off into the sky and disappeared in a flash of light in the sky. "I'm blasting off for the first of many times!"

When Jack came back to Earthland, he was able to meet some one else. This woman had white hair and blue eyes, am very well developed body and was wearing a maroon dress. Jack wanted to grope her so bad, but kept himself under control."I saw Erza send you flying so I decided to check on you." She said withdraw such sweetness.

"Ah thank you. I am in a lot of pain. Say what's your name?" Jack asked.

"My name is Mirajane Strauss and I know your name Jack, so are you plotting Amy sort of revenge on Erza?" Mira questioned.

"Well yes I got something in mind. Why do you ask? Gossip? Or do you want in on it?"

"Wow Jack your really smart! Yes I want in on it!"

"Alright than. I need you to..."

To be continued!


I'm an evil person, I know but tell me what you think and tell me if Jack should be in the Tower of Heaven arc in your review! I'm open to suggestions! Remember to check out Stickermans50 and The Flash Pirate!