Mr. Darcy's P&P POV (the abridged version) – Part 14
by Jack Caldwell


Author's note: All chapters below correspond to the chapters in Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice.


Chapter 58

"Lizzy, may I go on my own to the Lucases'?" asks Miss Catherine Bennet. "Maria has a new kitten, and I so wish to see it."

"Of course," says Elizabeth. "Do not linger too long."

We continue on in silence, the fallen leaves crunching agreeably under our steps. Bingley and Miss Bennet have allowed us to outstrip them, caught up as they are in their conversation. I suppose they are talking of their upcoming wedding, a subject that has apparently commanded the complete attention of the Bennet household. It is a clear October morning, cool and calm—which does nothing to relieve the tension between my beloved and me.

Bingley was in a mind to be obliging this morning, and we found ourselves before Longbourn's front door at an hour almost too early for callers. I am surprised I slept as well as I did last night; I supposed that knowing I would be in Elizabeth's most welcome presence was the cause. No matter what happens today, any interaction with her must do me good.

Mrs. Bennet was not as unwelcoming as she was when last I called. The anticipation of a daughter well married must be her excuse. Elizabeth said hardly a word; in fact, she appeared slightly alarmed until Bingley proposed a walk to Merton. Her obvious relief at his suggestion told me it was not my company that distressed her. Oh, if I could but know of her troubles, so that I might offer comfort! But I have no right to do that—yet.

Miss Mary proclaimed she would remain at Longbourn to practice her instrument, but Miss Catherine was agreeable to the scheme. Now, she has abandoned us, and Elizabeth and I are virtually alone as we walk along the road.

Elizabeth has said nothing since I arrived in her family's parlor not a quarter-hour before. My courage begins to fail as my confidence fades. Have I misjudged my aunt's report? Does Elizabeth truly look favorably on me? Liking is not loving. Respect is not affection. Does Elizabeth feel all, some, or none of those emotions? How can I learn the truth? How do I start?

Elizabeth breaks the silence. "Mr. Darcy, I am a very selfish creature, and, for the sake of giving relief to my own feelings, care not how much I may be wounding yours. I can no longer help thanking you for your unexampled kindness to my poor sister. Ever since I have known it, I have been most anxious to acknowledge to you how gratefully I feel it. Were it known to the rest of my family, I should not have merely my own gratitude to express."

During the whole of this extraordinary speech, her eyes are downcast. I can only see the top of her bonnet.

Damn! I never wanted Elizabeth to know of my dealings with Wickham! Why did the Gardiners not keep my secret? I react without forethought. My feelings will not be repressed.

"I am sorry—exceedingly sorry—that you have ever been informed of what may, in a mistaken light, have given you uneasiness! I did not think Mrs. Gardiner was so little to be trusted."

"You must not blame my aunt," Elizabeth cries. "Lydia's thoughtlessness first betrayed to me that you had been concerned in the matter. And, of course, I could not rest till I knew the particulars." Finally she turns her fine eyes to me. "Let me thank you again and again, in the name of all my family, for that generous compassion which induced you to take so much trouble and bear so many mortifications, for the sake of discovering them."

"If you will thank me," I blurt out in relief that I had not been betrayed, "let it be for yourself alone. That the wish of giving happiness to you might add force to the other inducements which led me on, I shall not attempt to deny. But your family owes me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe I thought only of you."

Good God, did I really say that? Oh, to the Devil with caution! I must know all now!

"You are too generous to trifle with me! If your feelings are still what they were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject forever."

Her eyes go wide, her cheeks redden. I have shocked her.

We stand still as statues in the middle of the Meryton Road, alone in the world.

I wait in dreadful anticipation for her response.


She accepted me! She loves me!

My dearest Elizabeth forgave me and accepted my suit. She will be my wife and helpmate and lover and mother of my children and—most importantly—my best friend. Life will never be any sweeter than the moment she confessed her love for me.

How did she answer me, you ask? Ah, ah, ah—a gentleman never tells. Let me say my response was affectionately effusive and left Elizabeth with absolutely no doubt of my esteem and constancy.

After everything was settled between us, I told her of Lady Catherine's visit to me after her own interview with her. Elizabeth laughed when I said that her refusal to refuse me gave me hope like never before.

"Yes, you know enough of my frankness to believe me capable of that. After abusing you so abominably to your face, I could have no scruple in abusing you to all your relations!"

Delightful woman! We entered into a small disagreement about who was most at fault at Hunsford. I, of course, took the lion's share, for what did Elizabeth say that I did not deserve? For her part, she denied it all, blamed herself for blindness and prejudice, and owned herself heartily ashamed. I could not have that, and detailed in full all of the faults of character she inspired me to overcome. There were tears in her eyes at the completion of my recital.

Our conversation turned to my involvement with her sister and Straw For Brains. The proud gaze with which she gifted me, when I admitted that my gravity at Lambton was solely due to my instant resolution to hasten to London in quest of her sister, made me feel like one of the Knights of the Round Table.

"What could become of Mr. Bingley and Jane?" Elizabeth laughingly speculated. I knew not, although I suspected that Bingley used the opportunity of finding himself alone with his intended to good purpose. As we strolled on the public road, I could not do likewise, no matter how much I hungered for Elizabeth's sweet lips.

And yes, her lips are sweet indeed, as I have verified numerous times since.

We next talked of Bingley, and Elizabeth's archness returned when I admitted I had guided Bingley back to Netherfield. We continued to speak uninterrupted, until we returned to Longbourn.


Chapter 59 –

Dinner at Longbourn was a dull and frustrating experience. Jane and Bingley, as the acknowledged lovers, talked and laughed and were talked and laughed about. Elizabeth and I, however, remained silent, for I had yet to speak to Mr. Bennet. It did not help that my physical distance from Elizabeth was as great as the dinner table would allow. I had Mrs. Bennet on my right and Miss Mary on my left. Neither was of a mind to converse with me, a wish I echoed. Elizabeth was of a like mind, for she was unusually quiet. Her blushes when she glanced in my direction were the saving grace of the evening. Only my self-control prevented me from staring at Elizabeth the whole time like a love-sick puppy.

When we parted, Elizabeth whispered that she planned to tell Jane of our understanding, and I said I would do the same with Bingley.


As I suspected, Bingley had no idea of how things stood between Elizabeth and me.

"Miss Elizabeth? My word, are you in earnest? You are to marry Miss Elizabeth? I declare, you have entirely surprised me! I never saw a thing of it!"

"Bingley, my friend, have you seen anything but your angel since Miss Bennet accepted you?"

Bingley laughed. "Too right, there! Is not Jane perfect? But Miss Elizabeth? I thought she disliked you!"

My mirth faded a touch. "She did. But she changed her mind."

Bingley grinned, a knowing look in his eye. "Or perhaps you changed it for her. I know there is no stopping you when your mind is intent upon its purpose."

"Bingley, you have no idea!" I told him of Hunsford and my determination to change my ways. His astonishment grew and we talked on into the night.

As we retired, Bingley patted my shoulder. "Darcy, you are the most humbling friend. I wish I knew of your struggles, that I could have been of service to you. But you did it all on your own and won the prize. Congratulations. Ha! You will be my brother in truth! Wonderful!"

He paused, suddenly thoughtful. "Caroline…"

"Yes… Caroline," I said.

"She will not be happy."

"I expect not."

Bingley shrugged. "I suppose we will just have to get her married."

"Gad! Leave me out of this!"

Bingley would have nothing of it. "She will be your relation, too, and I know you like nothing more than to be of service to your family."

Blast! He knows me all too well.


The next day verified I am lump-headed idiot. One look at Elizabeth's dear face when Bingley and I walked into the Bennet's parlor proved that I knew nothing of ladies—nothing at all. How could I have confused Elizabeth's saucy looks before with the clear adoration in her eyes now? I was a hundred times a fool. I hope I have improved since.

Mrs. Bennet suggested that Elizabeth, Miss Catherine, and I walk out to Oakham Mount. Fortunately, Miss Catherine demurred. During our walk, Elizabeth confided that she was instructed by her mother to suffer the inconvenience of walking out with me and keep me out of Bingley's way.

"She trusts you alone with me?" I smiled. "She may yet become my favorite Bennet."

Elizabeth's laugh held more than a little of nervousness and I vowed not to take too much advantage of the situation. I behaved myself until we reached the summit, where we shared our first kiss. It was all I ever dreamed about.

We did talk, too. It was decided that I should approach Mr. Bennet after dinner. I think Elizabeth wanted to spare me her mother's raptures of joy at news of our engagement. I agreed to her request, but I also let my beloved know that I would bear anything to be by her side.

She smiled. "Well, sir, with my mother, it seems you shall have a lifetime to prove it!"


To say Mr. Bennet was surprised by my petition would be an understatement. The gentleman was flabbergasted.

"You… you wish to marry Lizzy? My Lizzy?"

"Indeed, sir." Having learned my lesson from my first proposal, I dealt with only the pleasant aspects of our proposed union. In short, succinct sentences, I assured Mr. Bennet of our mutual affection and my intention that Elizabeth would be well-cared for.

"And… she has accepted you?"

I thought I had made that clear. "Yes, sir."

He blinked. Obviously such an idea had never occurred to him. "Very well, young man. You have my permission and my blessing." Perhaps it was my imagination, but I think he hesitated on the word blessing.

"Very good, sir. I shall have the marriage articles drawn up for your approval straight away." I bowed.

Just as I made to leave, he asked, "Pray tell Lizzy I would like to talk to her, Mr. Darcy."

"Of course."


After my interview with Mr. Bennet, I tried to relieve Elizabeth's anxiety with a small smile. I approached the table where she was sitting with Miss Catherine, I whispered her father's request, and she was gone directly.

With nothing else to do, I took Elizabeth's seat, to her sister's surprise. I pretended to admire her needlework. "That is lovely, Miss Catherine," I observed.

"Kitty," she said timidly.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I prefer Kitty. Catherine sounds so… serious." She laughed nervously. "I should hate to be called serious. Papa says I am not serious at all."

Too right, there.

"Serious is so boring. None of us are serious, except Jane and maybe Lizzy. Not that they are boring, of course! No one would call them boring."

"No, I would not."

"Oh! Mr. Darcy, I do not mean to call you boring, even though you are so serious!"

I cannot take offense at her foolishness. She is young, after all. "No, you have the right of it. I am afraid I am very serious and, therefore, boring at times."

She looked at me with wide, surprised eyes. "I think you are teasing me."

I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. "Do you think a serious man like me is capable of teasing, Miss Kitty?"

I could see her mulling over my statement. She finally brightened. "I think so, yes."

I nodded, sat back and pulled from my pocket a book of poetry to read. For the next hour, I lost myself in the verses of Scott until Elizabeth returned. Her relaxed smile was all I needed to assure me all was well. There was no announcement, no celebration—that was for another day. The time passed tranquilly away until Bingley and I made our exit.

"I tell my mother tonight," was Elizabeth's whispered farewell. Her apprehension of the upcoming interview was transparent.

"That should be eventful," I replied.

"That is remarkably easy for you to say, sir!" she returned with mock severity. "Off with you!" As I began to turn, she added softly, "And be all the sooner tomorrow, I pray."

"You may depend upon it, my dear."


To be continued…