[AliCe In Chains]

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

[Revelation Of The Damned]


She awoke to a silence so tangible it frightened her. She awoke in a room of white, on top of a bed that smelled of ice and winter, shivering. She awoke to bare shoulders and quivering thighs. She awoke to sated warmth pooled in her lower belly, to dried tears against her cheeks, to a throat hoarse from screams. Confused and disoriented, and scrambling for breath. Drenched in sweat, flesh tinged with cold. She awoke from a nightmare that could not have been real, a nightmare that enthralled her as much as it frightened and horrified her. This had not been the gentle dreams of her past musings, rose tinted dreams, filled with probing kisses and smiles- or cold hands and emerald eyes that saw straight through her. No this dream-

She screamed, arms flailing, reaching for him- to push him away- to pull him away-but the living steel of him wrapped around her wrists, binding her.

This dream- of wings tinted black, eyes a dying amber, rusted gold against her- and-

And this time she did scream, louder and ear piercing, and those clawed hands were urgent now, a strange detached urgency like death on a deadline. Closed thighs were ripped apart-

And the screams- she could hear them as if they had been her own, could hear them fresh and raw in her ears. And she could almost feel it, could almost-

- those cold lips closed against her, searing ice against the hottest part of her- and she threw her head back without shame, hair whipping against her cheeks from the sheer violence of the action, her back arching as fire exploded beneath her flesh. She screamed without restraint as those cold lips pressed against her, sucking the essence out of her, drawing greedily against her, the cold lips pressed against her, the tongue drawn against her-

The violence. And she shuddered and closed her eyes to stop the thought, pulling legs close and wrapped her arms around them, closed her eyes and thought fiercely of other things, closed her eyes and thought of other places, as she closed her eyes and refused to think of him. What -of her friends- her friends! She came to herself within that moment, truly came to herself- disbelieving as she stared around her, a sickening sinking in her throat as her stomach fell. What? What was this? Did she- had she? Hadn't she been at school? There had been Tatsuki's words, striking the heart of her- there had been Nel comforting her, Harribel and then-

-And then…?

Something, someone- calling her?

What could it have been? The haze? Because she knew this place. She knew this scent. She knew this feeling- this mixed, swirling feeling within her lower belly. Of anticipation, anxiety and fear. She knew these pristine, white walls. She knew this place. And she jumped to her feet, and padded, barefoot, into the dark hall and came to a stop. She stood there and felt her stomach sunk into the depths of her being, her mouth suddenly dry. She willed her hands not to shake, and for a single moment the world around her seemed to warp, spinning in a plethora of color- madness in this castle of white. In the dark of the adjoining room she could see him. See his silhouette, the broad expanse of those slender shoulders, the relaxed length to those arms, hands casually swallowed in the depth of black slacks. Emerald eyes zeroed in on her. Blocking the door.

"Onna."

And the words struck her like a closed fist and she stumbled against the wall, barely catching herself, barely managing to stop the black from descending upon her. Because it was him in the flesh, with those cold emerald eyes staring at her anew, with something else in the depths of them. It was him- standing there, his hands stuffed into his pockets, that languid yet tense fluidity in his shoulders as he blocked her escape. As if she wanted to escape. As if she would ever turn her back on him again. It was him- it was him. But she saw-

Eyes the color of dying amber. Tears of streaming black. Black talons, aching to rip her apart. A whisper of warm steel binding her wrists. Cloaked in the shadow of wings. And against her chest-fangs-

She stumbled, a hand pressed feverishly against her chest, the space below the base of her neck, above her breasts. She winced, flinching at the sudden sharp pain that rattled her with its intensity. She nearly keeled over, confused, as she struggled to understand. It was not a physical pain- but - what was that? A wave of nausea rocked her being and something- squirming, unfolding inside of her. Afraid- wary of the depths of this feeling she could not accurately explain, her eyes tentatively met his as she felt the sweat dotting her brow. She suddenly felt drained and spent- as if she hadn't slept in days, as if she'd been awake for an eternity. Her eyes met his- but in them was something that frightened her more than the usual. As if he could sense the sudden change in her, and the sinister, other worldly feeling bubbling inside of her that she could not define. Like the haze. Like her and him in this room. This was not allowed.

She couldn't look away and she wondered if that scared her more- aware of her fear and..as stupidly as it frightened her, it thrilled her- in a way that made goose bumps break along the length of her skin. It was as if she were naked, and that made her heart pound and her legs tremble. But it was not as before- it was stronger, it was worse- it was blood coursing through her veins as if his hands were in the place of his gaze, drawing against her. It was her stomach knotting up from anticipation, it was growing harder and harder to breathe, it was warmth in her cheeks, it was an intense longing in her spirit to touch him. To please him. To offer herself to him, to throw herself at his feet, body and soul.

Let him feed. Let him feed. Sate him. Please him. Keep him. Keep him.

She shook her head hastily, shaking away the strange whispers at the back of her mind- what was wrong with her? Was she going crazy? What on earth-? Frightened to a point to she was unable, she couldn't think or follow the twisted train of thought to the end. The days running together- in a room filled with black. Rusted walls cloaked in shadow. Emerald eyes glowing like beacons in the night. Cold, Cruel hands. Mind, body, soul- thrown to the winds. A frantic, mind consuming pleasure that bordered on pain-Had any of that even been real? Where did the haze end and reality begin? She didn't understand. And feeling sweat begin to trail down the back of her neck her eyes hesitantly found his.

"…how did I get here? And-" What did you do to me? Something within him- something came to life within him then- as if the words hastily murmured in her head had been yelled aloud. She took a step back- a hand feverishly grasping at her chest, throbbing beneath her palm as if an open wound lay there, bloody and raw.

"…you do not remember." His voice was brooding, contemplative as his eyes narrowed. "You do not want to remember. Even though I have given you an answer Onna...you still hold to your self delusions."

"Remember…?"Did she want to remember? Did she want to know. What he had done? What had he done to her?

His face was as impassive as always. But in the depths of those eyes-

And her body squirmed beneath him as he held her, the warmth of her skin fluctuating, growing hotter and hotter, scorching the cold of his chest. And her breasts heaved beneath him as she gasped aloud for air, and the erratic tattoo of her heart reverberated in his head. And her hands grasped at him- pushing him away, pushing him away- and then drawing him closer, closer still-

And she clutched at her head as it rung painfully, an echo of memory that rattled her soul. And then the fear was real within her, the fear was a tangible earthly thing within her and- as if he knew- as if he could feel it. There was an ache now, a snowballing pain that snatched the breath from her. She stumbled, heaving for breath, gasping aloud as her eyes- wide and wounded- bored into his. The depth of those eyes- knew her. Like never before. As if she had been torn asunder, as if she couldn't hide and then-

"Onna."

And the hysteria had entrapped her before she could blink, before she could think, and all she could hear, all she could feel were those claws upon her, were those eyes upon her- a mix of emerald and amber- wings- and- it couldn't have been real, - but she had to prove it- she didn't believe it- and she ran up to him before the panic could lay hold of her. She ran up to him and grabbed the fabric of his shirt in her hands, and with fumbling fingers, unbuttoned the first few buttons of his shirt. He was still, silent beneath her hands- but she could feel his eyes on her as her heart pounded in her ears. This close- too close- she could feel the cold of him. Multiplying. Stronger now- she could almost see her breath, feel the blood freeze in her veins. She heard him speak the fatal words.

"Are you prepared-"

But she didn't listen- she didn't listen and ripped his shirt open and- and breath left her in a sudden, foul swoop. She was struck dumb, frozen, and felt her heart cease.

As she stared at the black hole in his chest.


"-And?"

"Assuming she does not go mad, gradually the effect of his reiatsu working within her may lead to her having a spiritual awakening of her own. The extraordinary thing about these humans, is that it does not take much for their innate spiritual prowess to be invoked- in the case of that mortal Ichigo, the success of his own flourishing reiatsu could easily be more than enough to directly influence the people around him. However in her case, for reasons I have not yet been able to determine, that was not so. Now however- she as well- will be able to see things unseen by mortal eyes, and feel the presence of spiritual entities. However, the nature of such I cannot at this moment determine. The direct outcome of sudden power varies according to the individual, especially in the case of a mortal. She could gain power equivalent to that of a shinigami- she could gain a power that could rival the gods- or she could only be able to vaguely sense the weakest of hollows."

"Hmph. What of this nonsense?"

"The most important time is now- we must do our best to familiarize her with us. She could prove useful in the event that the soul reapers somehow manage to catch on to us…she would be a wonderful bargaining piece."

"Thinking ahead as all ways…and what of his mark upon her?"

"It is still too early for her to see them- the very chains of her soul, in the palm of his hands. It is far too early to determine the nature of their bond- such things are not often done- however from the rare cases I have seen he obviously will be in control- and he will easily be able to control her thoughts or sway her will. She's weak willed enough, I highly doubt the chain will be a double edged sword for him as it has been for others."

"…For others? This madness has been attempted before with a mortal?"

"Well- let's just say that Ulquiorra is aware that he is the superior and that he is in control in this situation, and as long as his will is unbendable, then it will be easy for him to determine the nature of the bond. Bonds such as this are usually done between hollows...but the same rules should apply. The nature of the bond is determined by the one in position of the more dominant will- and they are strengthened and further entrap the submissive by strong emotions such as anger, fear, pain or pleasure. Since she is already thoroughly in love with him, that one factor alone is more than enough to keep the bonds around her steadfast. These humans can be quite obstinate when it comes to 'the ones they love.' As such, he will be able to interpret her actions before she can, read her mind- there won't be anything about her he won't know soon enough. And depending on which emotion he chooses to incite in her at the initial binding, will be the one that becomes the trigger he needs to keep her beneath him."

"I'm too old for all this talk. So basically if she was terribly frightened at the time of the binding-"

"-Then 'fear' would be the trigger emotion that would enable him to be in complete possession of all that she is, and access to the deepest recesses of her mind. Accordingly,' fear' would be the emotion she would need to feel in order to first access the spiritual power the binding would give her."

"Hollow Human binding…such utter madness. You forget yourself Octavia...No matter how dull the blade, a sword is still a weapon to kill. If he were to ever, for one moment... allow himself to feel a single shred of any emotion that is remotely human- she could just as easily establish herself as the more dominant being- and if that were so-"

"Come come now you honestly shouldn't jest when someone's talking to you so seriously. That poor silly girl? Don't be absurd. Ulquiorra would sooner die before he let that happen now. I suppose the good nature in me perhaps would be flustered at the notion of him being swayed by that girl- but the reality of it is we are allowing this only for the purpose for sustaining him, and to interest him enough to keep him alive. Outside of that, she is nothing but…a rare delicacy. Delightful for the moment-but easily forgotten."

"If you are certain..."

"Come now! I think we both know I've never lost a bet. And on this one I am willing to place my life."


The beast was unrelenting, unmerciful- together, they had managed to send it reeling back into the darkness. But it had taken blood...it had taken struggle- but it had cost them more than that. It had taken their peace of mind- with a single roar of its might- it had single handedly undermined all of the plans Rukia had carefully constructed. Although the beast had gone back into the deep, that alone was of no consequence- the truth of the matter was that they had been living on borrowed time. And with the appearance of that monster, all of her efforts had been for naught…all of it…gone in smoke, in but a single moment. So quick- the happiness she ha gained, the friends, the comrades she had come to know- she felt them all, slipping out of her hands. There hadn't been enough time. There hadn't been enough.

"-What the fuck just happened!"

Gruff, weary, haggard breaths hastily drawn- but not fast enough. Winded and breathless Ichigo struggled to remain standing, leaning heavily against his sword. Anxiously his eyes had scanned the sky as the beast relented, drawing back into the abyss from whence it came- and only once some semblance of victory had been established had his eyes met hers. Her eyes wavered for a moment more before they focused, shrewd and sharp-on him. Seeing the fear in the depths of those proud eyes had unnerved her. Ichigo. He was strong. He was noble. He was courageous, brave beyond measure. To see the doubt in his face as he turned to her- she looked away.

"A Menos Grande." She could taste the bitter edge of defeat on her tongue. The battle had been won. But the price? Far too high to pay. The very fates conspired against her, for her doom, to punish her for her sin. Because of her- she thought bitterly- all set into motion because of her. "…It is without question one of the most powerful hollows- we managed to subdue it for now but-"

"But what?" His voice sharply interjected, angry and raw with his fear. "That thing almost fucking killed us! We didn't win, it just got tired playing with us! A moment longer and-"

With a motion of his hand, Uryu willed the fuming boy into his silence. But his eyes were narrow, calculating as he stared over the rim of his glasses into her face. Behind her, the hulking shadow of Chad skulked behind him, the flesh of his arm virtually battered beyond repair. And- her eyes lit over Uryuu's blood stained finger tips, the palms sliced open from his insane speed as he had drawn his bow. These men…these children…had almost lost their lives on this day. In but a moment- in a single moment- everything could have changed. She could have gone from betrayer, from lawbreaker…to murder. For willingly putting them in harm's way. She could not have known it, could not have foreseen it but she…couldn't stop the disappointment. Angry with herself, for allowing this to happen.

"Rukia." Uryuu's level tone willed her from the depths of her thought, the revolting taste of her incompetence still in her chest. Her fault.

"We need to know more about what just happened...and how we could prevent it from happening again. Since we discovered each others abilities- however willingly or not-" he murmured, as he stared briefly at Ichigo's heaving face, "We have worked together to keep this town safe from hollows. But what I do not understand is the nature of these creatures. Unlike those strange hollows you and Ichigo found who have been feeding silently in the darkness…these…others…these monsters have been coming more and more often. They have been stronger. And today this hollow-" He paused, turning his head and adjusting his glasses so she could not see the way his hands trembled. Fear.

"This hollow...was the worst yet. Were it not for Ichigo…we'd all be dead." He murmured quietly, letting the words settle between them. She could feel the blow to his pride- the still shifting unwillingness to acknowledge his own inability to protect himself. For once Ichigo was silent- and she could see the battle replaying in his head like a broken record. The call- the absolute horror on her face as she had felt the dip in the pressure, as she was thrown to her knees. As she stood shakily to her feet during class, ignoring the murmur of voices around her- as she had raised haggard eyes to the sky. The terror in her eyes as she had watched the beast part the very fabric of the sky.

Maybe he was remembering the reality of their situation- of the fact that this duty she had forced on him was not a joy, nor a thrill. Battling hollows was a constantly evolving nightmare. And today he had seen the worst. For the first time he had faced a hollow he could not defeat. If it had not been for Chad's endurance, Uryuu's precision- without a single one of them there…they would have all been dead. Just that easily. Their families would never have known- their very bodies would have been devoured, in limbo in the pit of the beast. For all of their work, their courage- to meet such a pointless end. There would have been no heaven, no gates of Soul Society welcoming them home. A pitiful death, with no reward, with no hope for rebirth. Although Ichigo had struck the final blow, that made it no less a bitter end. The beast could have easily returned, easily finished them off.

She turned, keeping her eyes level with each of theirs, the unspoken words flowing between them something she mutely understood. The knowledge that in that single moment, had been death- the end. The reality of this was something she had learned to live with as a soul reaper, through the centuries. But to these kids…she was disgusted at herself. Her weakness. Her selfishness.

"Rukia."

Ichigo began to speak and paused, waiting for her eyes to meet his. His voice had been firm, commanding, curt as he called her name. Like he believed in her. Like he trusted her. She felt tears start in her eyes suddenly, unbidden. Fools- as they all looked to her for guidance, for experience. She turned around abruptly- so they could not see the absolute despair etched in her eyes.

"We'll go back to Urahara's to heal our wounds. A Menos Grande is a high level hollow that rarely finds itself in the human world because human souls are not enough to sustain it. It is possible it was lured here by the scent of hollows- from the ones we have killed and the ones we have not. Whatever procured it's interest, was not worth truly fighting for. Regardless now we…"

She almost choked. Now? We wait for them to come get me. She thought savagely, bitterly. Soon, without a doubt they will know where I am, and what I have done here. And they will kill me for it. They will find you Ichigo …Uryuu and Chad…and they will hunt you all down like wild dogs. Because of my sin. Because of me. Soul Society will not stand for it. And because of me you all will…

"Rukia?" Ichigo's voice, weary from battle and hoarse- how did he still manage to sound so strong? So much stronger than her?

"Now let's go home."

She hurriedly blinked the tears away before he could see them. Those words…would this...she wondered, be the last time she would get to speak them?


She was too weak, too weary to run. Too tired to throw him away from her, or run screaming out the door. For a brief moment of insanity, she wanted to plunge her hand into the depths of that darkness, to see where it led. What would be on the other side? Hell? There was an intense burning desire within her to find out, a deep fear that crippled her- and a burning relief that shouldn't have been there. And stupidly, stupidlythis is why he can't love me. This is why he can't believe me. This is why. A brief bubble of hysteria, of triumph- poor princess, poor fool! How could she ask the dragon to love her if he didn't have a heart to love her with? But all of that rose within her and faded in a still, silent moment and there was nothing she could say. Stupidly so stupidly small hands rose and tentatively whispered around the edge of that pit of darkness, an eerie familiarity with the length of it echoing in her fingertips.

Foreign. Unreal. Not of this world. Perhaps she had always known it, had always expected it- this. He wasn't like her- like any of them- and somehow…she had always known. She didn't question it...she couldn't question it. As if the very notion of disproving this had escaped her.

"Did it hurt when you lost it?...Do you remember what it felt like to have one? Do you…regret it?" She began quietly, surprised that the tremor of her words in the silence did not betray her weakness. But that wasn't enough, no words were enough to convey the depth of her as she stared solemnly into that black hole. She stared unblinkingly into that darkness, feeling as if the dark of the world was there- and felt nothing. All she knew were her hands, against the edge of it. The cold this close to him made her numb. To everything.

"Isn't this strange? I should be afraid but somehow I feel as if- I already knew this was here. That I already knew-" she couldn't finish the thought, as her eyes did not waver from that circle of black. Beckoning in its darkness. Now more than ever, she could feel it- the divergence. This was wrong. Her being still here- was wrong. This had gone beyond the boundaries of school girl crush- this was wrong. Every fabric of her being, from the Goosebumps along her bare shoulders to the hairs rising on the back of her neck- could feel that this was wrong. This unnatural being standing before her was not human. But she could think of nothing but-

"Onna." His voice broke the silence. "You know what I am." And she did know. Suddenly and without warning- she knew.

"No." She lied.

"A Hollow." His eyes never left hers, gauging her. She was silent for once, no longer fumbling, without the radiance of her youthfulness, chatter or passion. Her eyes were calmer than they ever had been, lit from within but not wholly from love now but…a sudden blossoming self-awareness. She could not feel the reality of her fear- because he would not allow her. She had wanted this. She would have it.

"A Hollow…" She tested the term hesitantly, her eyes never leaving that circle of black, struggling to come to grips with the reality of it- of this- even if it were staring her straight in the face. Even if she knew. That thought alone kept the hysteria at bay- knowing that somehow she had known. All this time, like a forgotten secret. She had known this. She didn't question it. She had always known…right? That his heart was cold and empty, that he couldn't be touched?

"…it sounds so lonely."

He didn't say anything to that. She hadn't expected him too. He stepped away from her, and her hand hovered for a moment in the air before she withdrew it. She had grown accustomed to many different types of silence since she had known him. There had been tense silence, filled with all of her passion unleashed and his frustrations held tightly in restraint. Silences filled with gaps she could never jump and mountains she could never climb. There had been silence that had been bubbling with her fear. The silence of darkness, of chains and screams- and hands. But never like this.

Waiting. And this time, for once, she knew what he wanted her to say.

She wondered if she should even acknowledge it, even say anything. As her eyes followed the chain, sprouting from her chest. Draped in coils across the floor, around her feet, rattling silently with her every breath. Her eyes followed it up the length of his leg- until it vanished in the depths of his pocket, where she knew it was tightly wrapped around his fist. She was dead on her feet, as if she were no longer in control of her own body, as if she were a spirit haunting herself. Her eyes trailed up the length of him, to emerald eyes. His gaze had not wavered for a single moment, it never had. But it searched her now with an intensity that she was surprised to realize she understood.

"And Hollows are…born from…the souls of humans." She began slowly, suddenly, surprised at how easily the words came to mind. As if they had always been there. As if she had always known. A high tremor of panic bubbled in the back of her mind, but one glance into the depths of his eyes and it disappeared. She sucked in a shuddering breath, but continued beneath that gaze. "They are...powerful...corrupt spirits that devour the souls of both the living…and the dead. They feed to fill…the void. And…they wear masks." She stated slowly, subconsciously looking to him for approval.

"That is correct Onna. Hollows feed on mortals in order to survive. These masks are merely visible manifestations of the hearts they lose in death." Still those eyes stared at her, willing her to understand.

"But that's not what you are. You're…" She paused, waiting for the word to find her. And it did. "An…Arrancar? They…are like Hollows but…different?"

"That is correct. You will tell me these differences."

"They are...smaller? " She paused, probing her mind. "They are...stronger. They...have hierro...iron skin? And they can...sonido is...moving really fast? Faster than sound. But you are...above that?" She paused, frowning slightly as her head began to throb. This was wrong.

For a moment he was silent, but now the ability to interpret this silence alluded her. She imagined he was thinking about something of importance, or whether or not there was anything else she would learn through this new odd link between them. She wondered if he knew why she could feel nothing- trying to discern anything at all was suddenly hard. As if she had forgotten for a moment what it felt like to even feel.

"Ulquiorra." She began softly, her eyes once more lighting on that translucent chain. As if it weren't really there at all, even though she could feel the weight of it on her chest and hear the clink of the chains in her ears. "Why am I not afraid of this? Why aren't I fighting? I'm not angry or confused I'm just-" She couldn't finish it again, because somehow…

"Onna answering such a question would prove no purpose."

Ah she thought suddenly. Because she already knew right? She wondered why the answer didn't depress her as much as it should. She looked away, eyes downcast as she briefly considered the fact that she was missing another class. Now, the notion seemed unreal. Laughable.

"Because I'm to close to the void. Because I'm not strong enough and...I love you. And because I love you…it makes things this soon after…easier. That's why I can't run away. Because in the end…I don't really want to."

"That is correct. It is only that heart of yours that is keeping you here."

He said it like she knew he would, like it was her fault she was in this predicament. As if he were giving her his approval to condemn herself for her own foolishness. She avoided a response to this, although somehow she knew he was expecting her to give one- to give him something he could easily refute. But she would not give him that, not now. She knew.

"How…does this work?" But it came out sounding like a confession, an admittance of guilt.

He took a measured step away from the doorway- perhaps with this then, she had finally given her compliance. He knew that he had her after all. She would not flee. And she knew it.

"This Onna, is Hollow Human Binding. You have gathered that Hollows feed on Humans in order to maintain physical form in the mortal realm. For Arrancar, the longer we maintain our form in this world, the more reiatsu we require. I am ranked far above those. The higher our rank, the longer we can survive without having to rely on such things. According to my power, I have not needed to feed since I came to the mortal plane. However...it seems that inevitably, more reiatsu than I thought necessary was required and my spiritual pressure was depleted. In the case of such events, a call is instinctively a call is made that calls mortals – that brings our prey to us without causing us to exert extraneous effort. This call can reach a wide range of mortals."

He paused for a moment, the cold emerald of his eyes turning towards her. In a single moment he took her in with a measured glance- and she felt something in her sing. She fought the urge to look away.

"-the very notion of feeding from them in any form, thoroughly disgusts me. I loathe humans."-she felt a cold tremor shake her body, and she lowered his eyes to the floor. She could almost taste the cold edge of his uncaring hate.

"They are all trash hardly worth the effort."

'Trash.' The word was familiar to her. She had been on the end of it once. She remembered that cold alley, bruised knees and mascara burning as it blackened her tears. She didn't dare remind him of that moment when she had been as such to him. The distance he kept between himself and everyone else- that proud straight back. Like a god among them, openly mocking them for their fallacies by wholly ignoring them, acknowledging them only through the sheer might of his indifference. She felt her hand ball into a fist. What was she to him in this moment? A joke that never got funny? A hindrance that wasn't as much as others? She remembered the call- that something that had dragged her into a waking nightmare that robbed her of herself. She hadn't gone so willingly because she was weak, but because it had come from him.

"Murcialago chose you. For reasons still undetermined, you alone heard and heeded the call. It seems that you Onna, have the proper potential capability to accept the bonds of my spiritual pressure."

She shook her head at that, feeling a sudden murmuring along the chain that wouldn't let his words rest so easily within her. Of something within her, weary and tired, stirring to life. That...couldn't just be it...right? She blinked as she could feel the edge of though slowly returning to her, alleviating the weight of the stupor taht seemed to be smothering her. There were plenty of people perhaps who were as easily awed by him as she was. It could have been anyone. There were many who could have been far weaker than her in this. But it had been her- only her. Her. As if awakening from a dream, she felt some semblance of truth that was not his own return to her. She lifted her head and met his eyes.

"No…That's not it. You- you chose me."-his eyes narrowed at her, and in that very moment she felt something in her return. She blinked as her mind cleared, and she raised her head as the words came, not heeding the warning in his eyes as she took a step forward. "Because...I am the one who loves you." Another step, her hand of its own will, reaching for him. "You called it a curse, an inconvenience and yet…here we are." Another step, nearer, feeling the confidence returning as she stared him down, straight into his barely widening eyes. "You said we are bound. But if I am bound then so are y-"

And before she could blink she was on the floor. Stunned and dazed, she couldn't begin to explain how she had gotten there, only that one moment she had been standing, and the next- the cold chill of linoleum against her cheek. She tried to move, and realized with a sudden chill that her body felt like dead weight. As if every bone supporting has just crippled beneath her flesh. She blinked in confusion, her vision beginning to blur with tears she didn't know she had, aware suddenly of nothing but the dark of his shadow towering over her. And emerald eyes. Slicing her too pieces.

"I will not be challenged Onna. Your freedom is no longer your own. Rise against me again and you will be punished for your insolence."

She stared at him in disbelief, as injustice of the act hit her. She had learned that he was capable of many things, but this moment fully broke through her daze. She dared not speak lest some other horrible fate befall her, but with an almost sullen silence, she stared up into his eyes as her will returned. She refused to answer him. So this was the nature of things now? She could have laughed until the tears came- was this fate, granting her wish? Was this was she got for wanting him? This curse? This was not an opportunity for her to know the depths of his heart- or him to fully appreciate hers. This was fate mocking her. She got it- it wasn't that he wouldn't have her- she couldn't have him. The chains of her soul in his hands proved that- this had gone far beyond the bounds of her love- this was more, so much more. She couldn't get herself together enough to fight against this- and the numb of her was frightening- but it was because of him. Too close to the cold of his chest, the chain in his hand.

She let her eyes speak against him, as she held her mouth tight. His eyes pierced her like a blade and yet- there was something more- as he met her eyes. As if…taken back…for a moment by the look in her eyes. She did not know what he saw there- but whatever it was- she knew he could not grasp it.

His eyes bored intensely into her own, as if he could feel the force of the slighted look on her face. "I do not understand you Onna. Does this 'love' not mean absolute obedience? Does this 'love' not mean baring any amount of pain? Any amount of suffering?" He continued, and she could remember clear as day, the echo of her words in the dark of the basement.

{You're wrong." She began quietly, and she could feel her eyes soften as she continued to peer hesitantly into the depths of his. She wanted him to understand. She wanted him to know. "I know about pain. There's nothing more painful than loving someone… who won't even try to love you back. There's no fear like loving someone… knowing at any moment that they could slip from between your hands. And knowing that… they were never yours to claim anyway. There's… nothing like that, not in the whole world."}

"Does this 'love' not mean you do what you must to prove it? Does this love not mean that you submit? " The echo of her words, coming full circle to haunt her.

{"It's fine. D-Do your worst. Do your worst because I love you. Do your worst because that isn't going to change, no matter how much you push me away, no matter how much you hurt me."}

All valid conclusions that she could not deny…because they came from her. He had seen them in her- he had seen for himself in the way she refused to let him go. He had seen it in the way she had borne everything to get closer to him. He had seen it for himself- and for him- seeing it made it truth. Truth she could not deny. She had taught him- through her actions, through her words- with every single moment- she had shaped his perceptions of 'love'. And maybe to him, for him- this was the height of it.

His chain binding them- although everything he said seemed to be a statement of fact- she knew he was just regurgitating information he had gleaned from her. He still had not grasped it, had still failed to understand it. But his eyes met hers as if he were daring her to contradict him. She felt her eyebrows arch over grey eyes, glad that her immobile body did not allow her to fear as she felt the words fighting to the front of her mind.

"How many times must I tell you? That's not how it works! Real love is equal, two people working together to make each other happy! Real love is…" she paused, realizing for once, forever it seemed, the futility of her words. Just as he had failed to truly understand her- she had failed at learning from him. Now bound- doomed?- to repeat past errors and mistakes. She didn't know what was what anymore.

Another pause, as he considered this, grappling she knew, with her adding on to the definition he had carefully constructed through observation. The divergence between the reality of the hole in his chest and the chain between them, undermined the truth in her heart. A Hollow. A Arrancar. What did those words truly mean? She couldn't even begin to understand the nature of the things she had been talking about. Masks and...centuries of...hunger and hate. She felt her head begin to ring- the sound of the carefully suppressed fear and hysteria beginning to bubble to the surface. He was- she tried to feel it- but she couldn't. He won't let me. She thought suddenly, with startling clarity. 'He's...stopping me from questioning, from...fighting...because if he doesn't...I'll go mad from the revelation.' Of the worlds beyond the mortal plane, of terms and concepts and stories drifting aimlessly across her subconscious. Thoughts that were not her own- but him, placing them into her mind, the cold linger of him echoing through her head. Soul Reapers live in Soul Society. They carry zanpukto's, which they use to slay and purify hollows. Hueco Mundo...is where Hollows come from. There are many types of Hollows. Arrancar are above them. And we-he- is above those. The last order. The strongest. The Espada.

His words were clear, bringing her to focus, away from the whispers in her head. Away from the madness, that he held down with a cold hand. Away from the fears he would not let her feel, the questions. She could focus on naught but him- her love for him. But this was wrong. That cold was not love, but loyalty.

"…Then you would prefer being a comrade? Do you not have the object you desired, the attention of the one in whom you strove so hard to believe? Thus the distinction is irrelevant to this conversation. You have made countless attempts to define this 'love'. Is this not a willing compromise? I have ceased my condemnation of the term- and will no longer refute the folly of it. You are free to 'love' as you wish. You will simply do so under more strict obligations. And you have no one to blame but yourself."

She understood him damn him, understood him in all of his cold, calculating beauty. This was his compromise. This was his reply.

"I didn't understand…I didn't know what was happening! I…I just thought…I…" What had she been thinking when she heard that call? Had she been thinking at all, of anything? Had it been a moment of weakness? Or if he had called her to her face as a lover- would she not have run towards with everything she had? Would it not have been the same?

Get away from his chest. Her mind told her- to get away from that hole, that void that was greedily devouring her everything. The bounds had loosened, the pain gone, and she hurriedly scooted away from him as far as she could, until her back hit the wall. His eyes followed her. And instantly- things were clearer- she could-

"Nonsense. I gave you a chance to deny this…you choose not to adhere. You are only bound because you willed it so."

"What do you mean? I…" She paused, confused. The call had come and then…she had woken up here. In between? Remember. In between…she…what had she done? She needed to remember. What could she possibly have done to skew his perception of this between them in so short a time? What had she done that had persuaded him, what could she possibly have done that made him relent to…to this? The chain between them- her fate in his hands. The echo of madness, whispering through her mind as the bond loosened. What had she…

There was almost a sigh- of what? Frustration? Resignation?- from between his lips. He turned, so that he did not have to look at her face. And instinctively, a chill ran down her spine as her temples began to pulse. No. she thought suddenly, fiercely as the violence of her feelings socked her in the chest. She leaned forward, her shoulders sagging as she felt her body begin to quiver. He had lifted his hands from the hole into which her feelings had receded, and like blood from a wound they came spilling out, sharp and raw. I didn't want this. I didn't know what this meant. I can't. Please. She wanted to call out to him before it was too late, as she began to choke on very breath, heaving as she began to tremble. Not like this- nothing I could have wanted could have been this- I-but then his voice was sharp and clear in her ears, a prequel to the pain she could see coming, like standing on a beach and watching the tide come. But it would not be gentle- and she could see it coming, the true horrow of it dawning on her as it drew closer. A tide of black, of fear, of madness, of suffering, lapping at her ankles, to pull her under.

No. She shuddered, eyes wide. But nothing in her power would allow her to shut them, and without his hands to stop the flood, she knew it would sweep her under and she would not come back up. Ulquiorra! She wanted to scream, robbed of speech as she saw the night coming for her, to devour her whole. Please! She couldn't breathe! She was on the edge of the pit, and she could feel the cold of his hand pushing her over the edge of the world into the dark.

She could not see his face as the night came and swallowed her, as he slowly closed his eyes, to shut out the sight of her being dragged into the abyss.

"Remember Onna. And succumb to your fate."


She stood in darkness. Watching the way the ghost of her leaned against the back of his chair, her hair cascading down his shoulder in a silken curtain. The empty look of hunger in gray eyes that couldn't have been hers.

["Please-" she could hear those soft words murmuring in the confines of her mind, and she spoke them again. The dark pit of her soul unleashed, brought to the surface. Thhis shadow wasn't afraid to beg. She would have begged, on hands and knees, she would have begged without the slightest semblance of guilt, regret or remorse.

"Please." The need in her voice, for this, for him.]

"No...that's not me. That's not me!" But words screamed in silence were words left unsaid. It had been her.

[And she could feel it again, as if she were in the shadow's place. The cold of his chest beneath her hands, her lips trailing hotly against his skin. She could feel him anew, feel the taste of cold against her lips. She couldn't breathe as the memory assaulted her, the unrepentant force of Ulquiorra's strength leaving her thoughtless and empty. she…she had wanted…she needed…those hands. Those cold, unmerciful hands. Those eyes. Those bottomless pits of the deep. She needed- and she was the one tilting his head back with her hands, seeing him through the haze, the gleaming amber pits of his eyes. And she had known he had needed it, needed her- and she lowered her lips to his because he needed her-and his words-]

"Stop it Ulquiorra." She murmured softly, feeling her body outside of this hell begin to quiver as she wrapped her arms around herself in the dark, fighting the cold, the hysteria.

["Onna. I release you from the bonds my spiritual pressure has placed upon you."]

And- she watched as the demon talked to her, watched the awareness, the fear playing across her face. She saw herself, on the floor, her eyes wide and startled as she had taken in his glory. The dragon. The resignation in his voice as he had turned away from her. She felt- as if it were all happening again- the lilt of pity in her heart from the look in his eyes.

["You would be wise to leave, and not return. If you choose to accept these terms, I will have you freed from all recollection of these events. You will be able to return to your normal life relatively unscathed. That is the most logical course of action."]

She sucked in a breath as she felt the hole in her chest pulsing, singing with the repressed memory. It wanted to remind her of the moment when she succumbed, the moment when she had given her everything unknowingly to being far beyond her comprehension. But she didn't want to know, she didn't want to know she just- she wanted things to go back to the way they were, when she had been ignorant and stupid and in love and-

[And those amber eyes stared at her from some pit deep within himself into which he had receded, ragged streaks of black descending from his eyes down the plane of his cheeks. Twin horns made of bone protruded from the depths of inky black hair, flowing down the length of his back- and white strips of cloth hung in taters around all-encompassing wings of night. Like the wings of some great bat, stretched taunt over a delicate frame…]

"Stop it Ulquiorra!" She practically screamed, as she bent over, heaving brokenly in the darkness. "Let me out of here! Don't do this to me!"

[And the hole-! The gaping hole, the gaping hole which bled black in a heavy stream that vanished into the darkness at his waist-]


"Stop it!" She screamed louder, in agony as her head pulsed as if it would split in two, as she fought with every ounce of her being against him, against the night and the madness. She screamed her frustration into the empty silence of the dark room, but no one could hear her cries and her only witness was the man who was making her suffer-

"No." His voice was level. Unfeeling. Cold. But his emerald eyes...were emptier than ever as she fought against the darkness he was pouring into her mind.

"The choice was yours to make. And now you will suffer because of it."


["I want to be the one that you love. And until then…I'm sure that…I'll wait. For as long as it takes, I'll wait."]

"Stopitstopitstop it!" She screamed loudly, on the verge of tears even though she knew the effort was futile as the cry caught in her throat, as the scream was swallowed by the darkness. She felt as if she had been thrown from the edge of the world, because she could feel him, the entirety of him in this moment in the dark with her and he-

She could see him, the dragon sitting on his throne, her head against his lap. The absolute love, the devotion in her eyes.

["If I could dream of you forever and ever, just like this, I would be more than happy. At least in my dreams…I can touch you and speak to you, and at least I can be with you just like this and you don't push me away. At least in my dreams…I can pretend you love me too."]

She could feel the words in her chest as the girl with the hair like sunset spoke them, looking up into the eyes of the beast. Calm and unafraid. Because she had loved him and he- the girl that was her and not her couldn't understand the hate in amber eyes. But she- a ghost in her own mind watching it all unfold again before her- she could see. She knew it- the cold in his eyes as the girl with gray eyes spoke her love, as it fell on deaf ears.

[He would make her suffer. He would make her grieve. He would make her rage, loath, hate- he would break her, the fool. He would break her. He would break her because she would not give up, not give him up. He would break her because if she was the pinnacle of emotion, of joy and love, then he was the blackest pits of despair. Break her. Because it was his nature. Because she willingly held the keys to her own demise. How could she expect more from him, how dare she ask more of him? To ask more of him, to want more of him, more of him to put into this world, to be contaminated, dredged in its filth.]

"I didn't ask for this!" she screamed, writhing in her arms in indefinable agony, a cold sweat on her forehead as the assaulted force of his darkness submitting her was beyond description, incapable of being explained or defined, a weight on her chest that wouldn't let her breathe, as if the cold bite of the chain was around her neck, choking her.

And she could feel it coming, every single moment she had denied in the darkness, coming to fruition as she turned. And in the gloom, in reality, she felt her heart shudder to a stop as she watched. As she watched with her own eyes- the story coming full circle. Watched as the dragon devoured her.

Stunned, she watched as the girl fell to the ground, and he fell with her, the hair like sunset gleaming like a beacon in the night. Wanting to scream and scream as she watched the girl's hands wrap themselves eagerly around the cold of his back. "No. That can't be..." Watching as the girl with gray eyes rolled her body beneath the dragon's cold skin, trying to warm him with the very heat of her flesh. The way her face was flushed wit heat, panting heaving breaths. "No...stop it...don't do this...don't do this Ulquiorra...not like this."

The way dark lips sunk into her flesh, feeding from the hole in her chest that only now she could see. The way the girl beneath him had cried out against the feeling she could not understand, the feeling of her very soul being tasted, as his mouth had worked against her flesh. The feel of fangs, drawing against her skin- the way clawed hands had wrapped around her waist, holding her still. The way the girl's eyes ground shut, the panting growing heavier, exuberant cries on her tongue.

She turned away from the madness before her eyes, willing the dark away, praying the dark away.

"I don't want to see anymore of this Ulquiorra! Don't show me anymore!"

And then he was there in the dark with her, the cold ghost turning her to face it, the memories she wanted to forget. Holding her hostage, not allowing her to escape, not allowing her to turn away.

"Onna you will watch. Watch what I have done to you. For there is your answer."

And she was helpless as she watched, as she was forced to remember with her body, with the very chains of her soul, what that answer had meant.

[The feeling of warm steel wrapped around her wrists, as she writhed and ground beneath him. A pain so intense- that it was no longer pain. It was pleasure, raw pleasure, beyond her comprehension, beyond her ability to comprehend. Her eyes rolled in her head, speech a garbling mess in her throat- as his tongue rolled hungrily against her, tasting the sweat of her skin, the sweetness of her virgin flesh. Unable to breath as the waves of euphoric madness rolled throughout her body, she could only quiver violently as clawed hands held apart trembling thighs-]


She came to herself, came spiraling out of the darkness to herself with a large, shuddering heave of her chest. She could feel the very air leave her as Ulquiorra freed her from the darkness, and returned her to herself. But not without the lesson, not without a price. She remembered with a tremble- the heat there- the cold of his lips. She shuddered, willing the tears away. He had not been gentle. It had been nothing like the beloved moment she had so fiercely desired, nothing like the tender embrace she had longed for. Only the cold of his lips- the clawed hands, drawing mockingly against her flesh. The cold of his chest, the shadow of wings. And the heat of his tongue…against her. In hunger. Cold, hard need.

"Innocence is no excuse." He uttered lowly, as he too, came back from the darkness. But there was no need to reprimand her, as the full brunt of her actions hit her at last. But he would not turn and watch her suffer, his back impassive and cold as he forced her to face it, the reality of the bond, the horror of it…and the barely contained power that lay in the chain between them. In but a moment he had shown her. He could protect her from her darkest fears, free her from every feeling- or he could force her to face them, and the things she dared not remember. This lesson, she had learned well. With every fiber of her quivering body, every shuddering breath. The tears she had cried in the darkness, were hot and real on her face. Illusion or not, the world he had shown her had been nothing but the truth she could not deny. And the reality of this robbed her of her strength. This was not an answer to her dreams, her fantasies, or a response to her love. In many ways, this was an exploitation of them.

And the words that had damned her- the words- she could hear anew as he had pulled her from the darkness…held her captive.

["I give my everything to you, you can have it! You can have it! You can have it-"]

She felt her entire body slide against the wall, collapsing sideways, blankly onto the floor against the tile as all of the energy seeped out of her. She felt nothing. She was not angry…or sad. She had no right to either of those feelings- those were for the innocent. But she had known. She'd seen the dragon for herself. And yet she had still…she began to suck in gasping breaths as she felt the force of oncoming tears begin to wrack her body…but she did not even have the strength to cry.

"So now you understand Onna."

His voice did not sound cold...or condescending. His voice was quiet, almost thoughtful, as if after everything- his mind had gone to a place she could not imagine. A place of darkness, she now understood. Not a cave filled with smoke and flame where he ate princesses, but into the darkness she had felt echoing in her thoughts. She shivered and willed herself to stillness as he walked back to the door.

"There will be no more discussion on this matter."

And she heard the rattle of chains as he locked the door, with a note of finality.


AN: I know. It's been awhile, longer than I ever thought it would take for me to update. I don't want to sound like a pussy, but I feel terrible for taking this long. I've had a rough year. A close family member died and one of my close friends tried to commit suicide, another diagnosed with depression and a whole lot of other real life shit I couldn't ignore. But I at least owe you guys that much- and I just want to thank everyone whose been with me this far. I'm not going to say that I hope everyone will come back, but I will be thankful for anyone who still decides to follow this story to the end. I'm sorry for the extreme lateness, but I just hope I can be forgiven. I love this story and I'm absolutely not going to give up on it, no matter what! So if you'll believe in me till the end, I'll thank you. If you call bull shit...I get that too.

But enough about my hard life, all I can say is shit happens. I'll probably be back to my chippy hyper ass self by next chapter, just not this one. I've had some hard revelations myself, just like poor orihime.

-It's weird to me that when I started this, I wasn't sure how dark or deep I was going to get- but this is the crossroad folks. Orihime has reached a crucial point- will she fight against the bonds of the chain, or be broken by them? After all she's playing catch up too game with rules she couldn't begin to understand. I'm hoping some of you were able to figure out some of the particulars of the 'Human Hollow Binding' if all went according to plan. I hope most of got that the stuff in [brackets] was Orihime caught in 'the darkness' aka her mind and being forced to watch what had happened. Ulqui is such a slave driver jeez

-And what is Ulquiorra thinking anyway? I'm sure to him he see nothing wrong with this- he didn't let himself die, and he gave her the closeness she wanted right? And wtf I totally keep coping out on fight scenes. Maybe I'll actually write the next one...mehbe.

ALSO STILL NEED A BETA DAMN.

And Disclaimer: My ass still don;t own pocket lint, much less bleach