Time: 2 days after our heroes read the Get Rich Chain Letter Spam or the 5th day of our heroes' captivity (whichever you the reader prefer)
Time of day: Morning, or at least what passes for morning for our heroes
Place: The bathroom on the Satellite of Degenerates (SOD)
Of all the places in the known universe, the SOD was the worst place to be. Being stuck here against your will with almost no privacy was bad enough. Being at the mercy of your former boss who's gone insane and wants to take you to the loony bin with him was worse. However, the most awful part of living on the SOD was living in close quarters with only one bathroom, one den, and three other men you didn't like and could barely tolerate. Thank goodness there were five bedrooms.
On the morning of his fifth day aboard the SOD, as he was showering, Bret Hart wondered to himself how he was still sane after five days of living with DX and Sean Waltman. Then, he remembered that as leader, he had to hold the crew together. He couldn't afford to have a nervous breakdown.
Of course a lot had happened lately that could cause that breakdown. Take yesterday for instance:
The day had started out quiet. Bret had woken up and made breakfast as usual. The only thing that Bret was thankful for when it came to Vince was that the owner of the WWE regularly transported food over to the satellite. However, yesterday morning, unlike the last three, no one else had shown up to eat and Bret had begun to eat breakfast alone.
Just when Bret had adjusted to the quiet of eating alone, he heard the sound of banging and scraping metal coming from the crew's sleeping quarters. Bret left the kitchen to investigate, only to find the noise coming from Sean's room. Curious, Bret knocked. When he heard no answer, save for the steady banging and scraping, he entered, worried that there was trouble.
Inside, Bret found Sean sitting on top of the serpent shaped camera that had become infatuated with the Kid. Sean was pinning the camera's body to the floor. If that wasn't bad enough, the Kid wasn't wearing anything except his boxers. Even the boxers weren't on all the way and he was showing his butt.
Bret hoped he wasn't seeing what he thought he was seeing. Shocked, he said, "Sean!"
Sean didn't look up because he was too preoccupied with whatever he was doing. Bret exclaimed, "What the hell…"
Before Bret could finish, the Kid raised his right arm above his head. That's when Bret saw that Sean had something in his hand. The object was an axe, which Sean then lowered onto the upper neck of the camera. The axe hit and the terrible sound of metal on metal was heard.
Sean swung the axe down on the camera twice more and Bret looked on in horror as the head of the camera detached from the neck. The head rolled away stopping only when it hit a table leg. Sean watched this with a satisfied look on his face.
Bret was speechless for a minute. Then he said, "What the…"
Sean, still looking at the camera, was too preoccupied to notice Bret in the room. Cutting Bret's words off, the Kid said, "That's the last time you come out of my closet."
Bret could barely find the words, "Why…"
That's when Sean snapped out of it and realized that Bret was standing in his room. The Kid also knew that the situation didn't look normal.
Sean said, "I can explain this."
Bret hoped he could, "First, pull up your boxers and take these." Bret walked further into Sean's room and picked up the Kid's pants from the bed. He held them out towards Sean, "Please."
As Bret looked the other way, Sean, completely embarrassed, got off the camera, pulled his underwear up, and took the pants and got dressed.
As he pulled on the pants, Sean tried to explain, "I know how bad this looks."
Bret, who liked to get information up front, just wanted an explanation, "Just tell me."
Sean took a deep breath, "A short while ago, I'd just come from the bathroom after taking a shower. I was wrapped only in a towel, which I took off when I got back in my room in order to dress. As I was dressing, I heard this noise from behind me coming from my closet, which wasn't closed all the way. I opened the door the rest of the way and sure enough there was this," he pointed to the camera, "filming me in the nude." He huffed angrily before continuing, "I couldn't take it so I dragged it out of my closet and attacked it with the first weapon I could find. And you saw the rest."
Bret replied, "Unfortunately." He was still shocked, "I can't believe you destroyed Vince's camera. He loves that thing."
Sean said, "Unfortunately, it loved me." He sighed, "Think we're in trouble?"
Bret answered, "I think you're in trouble. I'm just an innocent witness."
Sean replied, "Who did nothing to stop me."
"What was I supposed to do?" said the Hitman, "Yank you off of it?"
Sean thought, "Yeah."
"For all I knew, you could have finally snapped and turned your aggression on me," Bret said.
"But you knew that I hated the camera. And you're the leader. You could have prevented me from ever doing this," said Sean.
Bret was furious, "I am not taking the blame for this. See, this is why I hate DX."
"DX?" Sean questioned, "What does this have to do with Hunter and Shawn?"
Bret explained, "Not them for once, it's about you. You used to be a part of DX and this whole, place the blame and responsibility onto everyone else but yourself attitude, stems from your involvement with DX."
"I don't follow," said the Kid.
Bret vented as he clarified, "Shawn says that my unwillingness to job was the reason for the Montreal Screwjob. He's also said that Hunter thought up the plan and that Vince finalized it. Shawn also said that he was merely following Vince's orders; thereby, taking the blame and responsibility off of himself and putting it onto others. Now, you're trying to blame me for something I couldn't have prevented."
Sean was silent as he considered what Bret had said, "All right, I'll tell Vince I destroyed the camera."
Bret stated, "You bet you will." Frustrated, Bret walked passed Sean and left the Kid's room.
If Sean had been the only incident that occurred yesterday, Bret could have dealt with it. "But yesterday just seemed to get worse," thought the Hitman.
Yesterday morning, after leaving Sean's room, Bret had started to head back to the kitchen. Only, he'd gotten distracted by loud singing coming from the corridor further down the crew's sleeping quarters.
Against his better judgment, Bret checked it out. He walked down the corridor and passed by Hunter and Shawn's rooms. The singing though wasn't from either room. So, Bret continued towards the holoporter.
And there, just outside of the holoporter was DX. One look at them told Bret that they weren't all right.
Hunter had his arm around Shawn for one thing. Furthermore, the bigger man was leaning heavily on the smaller man. Shawn, meanwhile, looked hardly able to support himself much less Hunter and the image Bret saw was two men shuffling and staggering down the hall. DX was clearly drunk.
"Good night ladies…good night ladies…" sang DX, who were loud and horribly out of tune.
"Not that they were ever in tune when sober," Bret thought. He couldn't believe he had to deal with this.
When DX had stopped attempting to sing, Bret said, "Hunter, Shawn…"
"Look, it's…it's…", Shawn tried to remember Bret's name.
"Bret," supplied the Hitman.
"Yeah, that's it," said Shawn.
Hunter stated, "I think you're drunk."
"So are you," replied Shawn.
"I am not," said Hunter, becoming defensive, "I had two beers."
Bret knew that was not all.
Shawn scoffed at his friend, "Yeah, three beers, two shots of rum, and two shots of whiskey."
Hunter said, "You're one to talk. You had three beers, two jello shots and two shots of whiskey."
Shawn said, "But I'm still standing on my own."
"Barely," replied Bret. He had to get DX under control, "All right, why don't you two head to your rooms."
Hunter said, "Is it close by?"
Bret said, "Yeah."
"Is it right here?" Triple H asked.
Bret said, "Only a little farther."
"I'm not going to make it then," said Hunter.
Suddenly, Hunter's arm slipped from Shawn's shoulder and Hunter proceeded to fall to the ground.
Shawn fell to his knees and then vomited. More vomit followed as Hunter got sick afterward.
"Great", Bret thought.
As he was in the shower, Bret continued to remember DX's drinking incident. After Hunter and Shawn had gotten sick, Bret had yelled down the corridor praying that Sean would hear him.
Sure enough, Sean did and came to see what all the commotion was. Bret filled Sean in and after that, Bret moved Hunter into the cerebral assassin's room. Meanwhile, Sean dragged the boy toy into Shawn's room. DX was put to bed.
The rest of the day yesterday was spent attending to and cleaning up after DX. Bret had to admit that Sean did his part, especially since the Kid had gotten stuck with vomit cleanup both in the satellite's carpeted corridor and in the DX members' rooms.
When Shawn and Hunter had finally slept off the intoxicating affects of the alcohol they'd consumed, Bret and Sean cared for them. Both DX members had headaches that no amount of aspirin could cure, but at least they were alive.
At one point yesterday, Bret had been able to get an explanation from DX for their behavior. From Hunter and Shawn's stories, Bret had been able to piece together that at sometime between the third and fourth day of their capture, while Bret and Sean had been sleeping, the pair had gotten extremely depressed. Shawn was still upset over Rebecca's betrayal, and Hunter missed Stephanie and Aurora terribly. Then, they got into the liquor cabinet and took most of its contents into the holoporter, where they created a bar and had the computer generated bartender serve them real booze in a few hours time. Now, DX could barely think straight.
Once DX's drunken incident, had been explained, the two men had fallen back to sleep. As they slept, Bret poured all the alcohol that remained on the ship down the drain. He didn't want a repeat occurrence happening again.
During the rest of the night, Bret checked in on Hunter and Shawn regularly, but aside from Shawn crying over Rebecca, DX slept through the night. Bret, however, was too busy playing nurse to get much shut eye. He'd slept off and on for about two hours, maybe more, maybe less, and then fully slept for approximately another two. When he finally woke up, at some time this morning, he checked on DX. Both members were still asleep. Then, he went into the shower, where he still was.
The shower was so relaxing. And with DX asleep and Sean, probably asleep, he had a chance to enjoy the refreshing and reenergizing qualities of a long, hot shower. That was rare on this ship. He remembered that on the first two mornings of his capture, Shawn had been the first one to shower and, just like the prima donna that he was, spent an hour in it. Hunter had gone second, and the Kid had showered third, so by the time Bret had gotten in, the hot water was all used up.
Not today though. This morning, Bret had the shower and nothing could ruin his time in it.
Bret was so immersed in taking his shower, not to mention, the water was so loud, that he didn't hear the bathroom door open.
End of part 1
Who's behind the door? Wait and find out. Hope you don't mind that I went back to writing a regular narrative. For this part, it's easier than writing a script.
Let me know what you think.
