Chapter 4

Kel and Faleron stared at the griffin in the tree. He was a handsome creature, but Kel remembered all too well how sharp those claws, currently digging into bark, could be. But she was glad for the distraction that the griffin provided; she really did not want to talk about romance and feelings with Faleron right now.

"Why in Mithros' name is a griffin here of all places?" asked Faleron. "I could have sworn that they prefer to roost near water sources. You know, for the fish."

"That's what I thought, too. But when I took care of that griffin cub, he wasn't all that picky about what he ate, so long as it was meat. Well, sometimes," she answered with a grimace. Kel rubbed a finger over one of the bigger scars on the back of her hand, a lasting memorial from the griffin.

"I forgot you used to tote that little monster around with you."

"Yeah, I try to forget too, sometimes."

"That doesn't sound like you," Faleron frowned. "Did you get too attached?"

"No, I knew from the get go that he wasn't going to stick around forever. I didn't even name him, officially; don't worry, he earned more than a few epithets. I was a little sad when he left, though." The words kept spilling out of her mouth. "But between nightmares about Blayce, adopting Tobe, and running New Hope, I try not to spend too much time living in the past."

The griffin peered at them from his perch; Kel and Faleron stared back, almost frozen.

"You know, it's times like these that I really wish Daine was around," Kel said after a moment. "I just wish we knew what he wanted."

"You think he wants something? What if he just fancied roosting in that tree?"

"Faleron, how often do you see griffins choosing to roost near areas with a lot of human activity? From what I remember from lectures at the Palace, they usually choose the exact opposite. Something about disliking the sound of human voices, or something."

"Mmm. Good point. Maybe..."

"What?"

"Well, how long does it take a griffin to mature?"

"I'm not sure. But the baby griffin grew pretty fast, especially towards the end. Why?"

"What if it's the same griffin that you used to take care of?"

"That's crazy," Kel said flatly.

"Is it?" She thought about it for a moment.

"I mean, I guess it's possible. Possible, mind you, not likely. It has been... four years? five years? since I saw the griffin last. I have no idea how long the young stay with their parents. When I saw him last, I got the impression that griffin families typically stay together for a long time."

"Something could have happened; he was already separated from them once. There's no way to find out, is there? Like, their feathers don't have identifying patterns on them, do they?" Faleron asked. Kel shook her head.

"That won't work; yes, I've noticed a difference between the female griffin and the male griffin's feathers that they gave me, but the last time I saw the baby griffin, he still had his juvenile feathers. So even if the marks indicate a specific griffin, versus female pattern and male pattern, I still wouldn't know if this is the same griffin."

As if on cue, the griffin began to preen his glossy feathers. Kel watched in contemplation.

"I have an idea, though," she said at last. "Just... be prepared to fetch a healer in case this doesn't work. Griffins, or at least the ones I've met, are proud, condescending creatures. So there's a decent chance that I'll offend him."

"Kel, don't-"

"And don't you dare tell me what I will or won't do, Faleron." Normally, Kel wouldn't have said something like that. Thought it, yes, but she'd have kept it to herself. "I'm sorry, that came out harsher than it should have; it's the whole compelled-honesty thing. I am so glad that the baby griffin was too young to have much of an aura."

"It's okay, Kel, but please don't take any unnecessary risks. I need you." Faleron blushed scarlet.

"Erm, right." It wasn't a graceful thing to say, and part of Kel immediately regretted saying it, but at least she'd responded this time.

Kel gave herself a small shake. Now was not the time to have that conversation, or to be distracted by the situation. Sometimes she really wished that she was as emotionless as Joren once accused her of being. But now wasn't the time for that line of thought, either.

She took a small step toward the griffin's tree, away from Faleron and the relative safety of camp. Kel looked hesitantly at the griffin, but he did not appear to have noticed. She took another couple of steps. No response. Careful not to approach the griffin directly, Kel continued her diagonal tack. The griffin watched her closely now, but otherwise gave no indication of his feelings about the approaching human. Kel stopped again when she was within a horse-length of the tree. Her hands shook and she felt jumpy; if she offended the griffin now, she was toast.

The griffin abandoned all pretext of grooming, watching her keenly. Kel tried not to blink. She wasn't sure why, but it felt important. Those golden eyes stared back, maintaining direct eye contact.

"Hey, you," Kel said at last. It sounded dumb, even to her ears, but what else was she supposed to say? She cursed herself for never calling the baby griffin by a name in the past, if only because it would have made this encounter more straightforward.

The griffin squawked and pounced from his perch, landing softly on the ground at the base of the tree. Kel flinched, but quickly took a step backward to rebalance herself, preparing for a fight. She took comfort from the weight of the sword hanging at her side, ironically dubbed Griffin. She didn't unsheathe her sword, however. While she had never been particularly good at drawing a sword quickly, to do so now would make a tense moment tenser. Since the griffin merely sat in front of her, there was little she could do but give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Kel?" Faleron called. For a brief moment, she had forgotten all about him. Not wanting to turn away from the griffin, Kel made a thumbs-up sign to Faleron, hoping that he would interpret is as a sign that she was okay, rather than as a go-ahead to call reinforcements over.

The griffin continued to sit, though he appeared less comfortable than he had been but a minute ago. Hesitantly, Kel took a small step forward. The griffin's small ears flicked backwards, almost flat against his skull.

"Hi, griffin," Kel whispered. "Are you a little monster?" The griffin's ears perked up and he bounded over to Kel. Before she could move, he head-butted her, wrapped himself around her, and then flopped over at her feet, legs and wings outstretched. If that wasn't a clear invitation for a belly rub, Kel didn't know what was.

"Kel?" Faleron called again; Kel ignored him.

She knew that the griffin, who was probably the very same that she had cared for as a cub, wanted attention. But Kel wasn't entirely trusting of the creature before her. She remembered that the baby griffin, even when he was feeling playful rather than annoyed, was fond of using his claws to shred her hands.

The griffin stretched out just a little bit farther. Resigned, Kel knelt down to pat the griffin's feathers. Monster relaxed, closing his eyes. Kel let out the breath she'd been holding. She rubbed his stomach for a moment before quietly withdrawing her hand; he might seem calm and docile, but the scars on her hand said otherwise.

"Kel?" Faleron called for a third time. Kel turned to face him.

"It's okay. I think. But yeah, I'm fairly certain it's the same griffin," she finally replied.

"I'm assuming that's a good thing?" Faleron asked as he approached cautiously.

"I'm not sure, but it at least explains why there's a griffin roosting at the edge of camp."

"Do you think we should send for Daine?" Kel pondered the question for a moment before responding.

"I don't actually know her all that well, but I think that she'd want someone to tell her. That being said, I know that she's on maternity leave and there's a good chance that she won't be able to get here," she said.

"Or," added Faleron, "she might not want to endanger her child." Kel frowned.

"Out of all the people who might approach Monster, I think Daine has the least to worry about, pregnant or not."

"Monster?"

"If he's going to stick around, we need something to call him. It's not his real name, of course, but he responded to that, so..." Kel's voice drifted off as she looked back down at the griffin, sprawled out on the grass but watching Faleron keenly.

"So now that we know what's behind the truth compulsion, Kel, can we talk?"

"My hand is literally on the belly of a, well, Monster. And from what I can remember, my hand is his favorite chew toy." Kel shot up a quick prayer to Sakuyo. She didn't normally pray to the Yamani god of pranks, but with the griffin's reappearance, she didn't think she could be too careful.

"How about you just listen, then?" Kel could hear the hopeful note in his voice. Gods, she wished she didn't. But Faleron was, at the very least, her friend and she owed it to him to hear him out. On the other hand, she didn't want yet another obligation on top of everything else.

"Faleron, I'm really sorry, but I'm busy."

"Kel, you're always busy. Actually, sometimes I get the impression that you're too busy." Before Kel could interrupt, Faleron continued. "And it makes me worry sometimes, that you're so busy working hard to save everyone else, you run out of energy, or will, to save yourself. And I just can't let that happen, Kel."

"You think I'm suicidal?"

"Gods, no! But I see you every day. Getting thinner, every day. Running ragged, even more tired than the day before. You're losing a little bit of yourself every day and it... I can't just watch and do nothing. I l-have feelings for you. I was going to wait to tell you, but I'm afraid that if I don't tell you, you'll be gone by the time that I have."

"And you think that having a romantic relationship will make me less busy?" Kel couldn't help her bitter tone, though she regretted it an instant later. Monster shifted underneath her fingers and she quickly resumed petting him before he got hungry for a snack.

"No, it won't make you less busy, unless you let me take on some of your work, or delegate it to others. But I think I could make you less stressed. But mostly, I want you to know that someone, even if it's just me, cares about what happens to you." Kel frowned.

"What do you mean, 'just you'?"

"Kel, if we didn't know each other as pages, would we be friends now? Would you notice that I exist?"

"That's not fair, Faleron. You know I've been too busy to seek out new friends. I mean, I train with some of the men, but—"

"—You're busy. I get it. Look, I'm not asking for much of your time, I know you don't have any to spare."

"Then what do you want?"

Faleron shook his head.

"That's not the right question. Kel, what do you want? Big picture, aside from the war. What do you want?"

"It's unrealistic to imagine my life without the war; it's my biggest priority right now and it's my job, day in and day out."

"But...," Faleron prodded.

"But..." Kel sighed. "Look, I can't promise anything, Faleron, but yes, it would be nice to have someone to care about."

"And to have someone to care about you?"

Kel yanked her hand back as Monster rolled onto his paws again. With a squawk, he took off into the air, circling above them for a moment. Kel held a hand up to shield her eyes from the sun as she tracked his flight. The griffin, apparently bored, flew out of sight.

"For starters," she said as she turned back to camp, "we're going to inform Captain Lawson about possible griffin activity in the area."

"Kel," Faleron said, almost harshly.

"Yes, Faleron?" She looked him square in the eyes, waiting for a reply. He met her gaze. Where he had been nervous and agitated a moment ago, now Faleron stared at her with resolve. Kel looked away. She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks.

"Kel," he began again. His voice was softer this time as he took a step towards her. Kel wasn't sure if she wanted to turn and run or if she wanted him to come closer still.

"Faleron, please, I need time to think about this. But I can't even consider courting you if it's going to interrupt our work."

"I know, Kel, but—"

"Right now, I need to report to Captain Lawson about the griffin. I'll see you around." Before Faleron could call her back again, Kel dashed into camp. She wasn't running away; Lawson really did need that report, she told herself. Camp was as chaotic as ever. Every now and then, Kel glanced over her shoulder to double-check that Faleron really wasn't following her.

Captain Lawson was in his tent-turned-office when she found him. The cluttered tent was adjacent to the larger one used for their daily conferences. Like Kel, Lawson had fashioned himself a temporary desk. He looked up from his paperwork as she entered.

"Ah, Mindelan. What can I do for you?"

"I'm sorry to interrupt you, sir, but I thought you would like to know that there is an adult male griffin in the area."

As she expected, Lawson was not pleased by her announcement. But he did handle it much better than she gave him credit for. Kel abbreviated the encounter she had with Monster and her history with the Immortal. After the initial shock wore off, Lawson asked a few questions during the pauses in Kel's story.

"I see. Then I'm appointing you, Keladry, to keep an eye out for this griffin, and any others, who may be in the area. I'll only need updates if you think that he poses a threat to camp activity. I'm going to trust your judgement on this one."

"Yes, sir," Kel said as she bowed and left the tent. Her stomach gurgled as she did so. In all of the excitement about Monster, she had forgotten her original reason for interrupting her work: lunch.

Kel made her way to the mess tent. To her delight, Tobe was also grabbing a late lunch.

"Good to see there's room on your plate for vegetables too," she greeted. Tobe rolled his eyes.

"Yes, Mother."

"So how've you been? It's been ages since we had the chance to talk."

"Not a whole lot; Dean's kept the groom's pretty busy, as usual. I'm getting a little bored of the day-to-day, to be honest."

"Yeah, well, hopefully, that might change soon."

"Really?" Tobe looked up from his hurried meal. He stared at her intently. "Why do you say that, Lady?"

"We discussed a proposal to bring the war to Maggur this morning."

"Who's 'we'? That leadership conference you've been going to?" Kel nodded. "Well," continued Tobe, "it's about time they decided on something."

"Don't get too excited. While we all agreed on it, including Captain Lawson, it's going to be at least a week until we hear whether we've got the go ahead or not."

"What do you mean?"

"We're talking about invading Scanra, so we need the full backing of General Vanget and the Crown," Kel said between bites. "And it's going to take any messenger a couple days, at least, to ride to Northwatch. Luckily, Vanget's got a mage with enough range to scry to Corus, so we don't have to wait for someone to ride all the way to the Palace and back—"

"D'you ever miss living at the Palace, milady?" Kel put her fork down on her plate as she pondered the question and it's implications.

"I miss some of the people, and the food. But I'd rather be in the field. Life feels more real, like we're doing something. Oh! Speaking of missing people, I've got a letter from Neal with news of New Hope back in my tent, if you'd like to read it later."

"Yeah, that sounds great." The pair continued eating, mostly in silence. Kel wanted to keep the conversation going, but she didn't know what to say. They walked together back to Kel's tent.

Kel rummaged through the papers on her desk with a frown. It wasn't like her to lose paperwork, especially not papers that she actually wanted to reread! She sighed and smiled.

"I remember where it is now."

"Good, I was starting to get worried. You never lose things; it'd be a shame to start now," Tobe laughed. "So where is it?"

"I left it on your cot so that you could read it even if I didn't have a chance to catch you in person," Kel explained. Shaking his head in amusement, Tobe led the way to his neighboring tent. As promised, the letter lay in plain view on his cot. Tobe picked it up. His mouth turned into a small smile as he read.

"What's this part about us reuniting with Neal?" he asked as he folded up the letter and handed it back to Kel. "Are we going to pass by New Hope on our way north?"

"Only if Vanget makes significant changes to our strategy. I don't know what Neal means, but I hope Irani's not pulling his leg."

"It would be nice to see good ol' Meathead again."

"Since when have you called him that?"

"Ah, c'mon, Lady. You've gotta admit it's got a nice ring to it." Kel chuckled. "Anyways, it was good to see you again, but I've gotta get back to work." Kel followed his out of the tent.

"Bye, Tobe. Don't be a stranger!"

"Yes, Mother!" Tobe called as he wandered off in the direction of the stables. Kel sighed. Their brief conversation only made her miss Tobe more. She would probably have more need of his services while on the march, providing an opportunity to reconnect, or so she hoped.

She returned to her own tent. Her unfinished letter to her mother waited for her on the desk. Kel sat down and tried again to think of something appropriate and interesting to say.