So this is for Josette, who was nice to me and commented, and all those who have followed. Reviews makes more chapters. All recognisable content belongs to its respective owners.

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Sherlock squirmed. John didn't believe it, but he had no choice but to, because Sherlock was. He watched him, having just about decided that this was a very bad idea, when Sherlock spoke. "Yes. I... I..." the genius looked wastly uncomfortable. "How would you like to touch me?"

John attempted to look reassuring, schooling his voice into a soothing tone "any way, Sherlock. Any way at all. Why do you not want me to?" Sherlock sighed and leant back onto the couch in that very Sherlock fashion. John decided to prod a little deeper. "You don't even let me see you naked. You were never shy about that before we dated. Why now? You have seen me. Frequently, I might add".

Sherlock sighed, then blurted out "I was tortured when I was away". John stared at him, horror written all over his face. He had known tracking down Moriarty's network had been rough on Sherlock, but he had always kinda thought... well, nothing like that. "As in... what?" He finally asked, unsure if he really wanted to know. As a soldier, and a doctor, he had far too good of an idea already.

Sherlock merely shrugged. "Mind games. Noises and droplets and all the works. Not so successful on me. They beat me into a pulp at least once. Also..." for the first time he hesitated. John braced himself for whatever was coming. "I never enjoyed touch. But having someone slowly, slowly... a cut here, a punch there, needles, scorpion venom... it is hard for me to suffer anyone, anyone at all, even you, to touch the scars and still accept that there will be no new pain. I..." Sherlock gave him an honest look "I made myself believe that it was easier on you, not touching on this at all. It seems I was wrong. I am sorry, John. Really I am".

John couldn't help himself, he practically threw himself on Sherlock, hugging him hard and not letting go. He tried to avoid touching anything with his hands, but was somewhat surprised when Sherlock's hands came around him and started to gently stroke his back, clearly attempting to soothe. "It is alright, John. Everything is alright, I am so sorry" John was not sure what Sherlock apologised for, but he felt like he was the last one that ought to do so. It was not fair.

"I know, Sherlock. You have nothing you need to apologise about" John tried to reach up to kiss Sherlock on the head, but he was too short. Sherlock, obviously deducing what he was attempting, or at least near enough, sat down, careful not to topple John over with the motion.

"So... what do we do now?" Sherlock finally asked several minutes later. John took a deep breath, finally untangling himself, and reached for his plate, mostly to have something to do with his hands. Sherlock, taking his hints from John as so often, did the same. "Well" the former soldier said, looking mostly down on his plate. The revelation that shook all he thought he knew of the sacrifices Sherlock had made for him, amongst others, had been surprisingly quick, their food was mostly still warm.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sherlock merely shook his head "I will, if you want me to, John, but I do not see the point". "Well, if you don't want to talk of it, I won't make you, Sherlock, but I am here should you... want to... I" "I know" Sherlock assured him, eating tiny pieces of food. "Will you... let me see some of your scars?" John asked somewhat doubtfully "were they treated properly?" Sherlock finds himself sniggering at that. Trust John to choose that moment to play doctor. "They do not hurt, I just... I left it behind. I do not understand why being touched is so uncomfortable".

John nodded slightly, then picked his fork back up. "We will solve it, then. Together".