"No, I am not forcing my daughter to be married against her will unless we have no chose," Fire Lord Zuko answers with a harsh tone from the throne he was sitting on.
"My lord, I apologize, but Princess Izumi is already of age," an adviser speaks with a shaking tone. "This will straighten her reputation for her nation if she marries the son of our top Fire Nation general. It will bring great honor."
"It will bring great honor?" Fire Lord Zuko's voice blasts hoarsely throughout the room. "So honor is greater than one's happiness?!"
From standing next to the entrance of the throne room and hiding myself from being visible, I can imagine Fire Lord Zuko's nostrils flare with the cold, icy stare of his. He always place Princess Izumi's happiness before his.
"B-but, my lord, I didn't mean to say it like that."
"Leave! Forget this whole conversation!"
In that instant, the figure of the adviser dashes straight out of the throne room with a terrified expression. Sweat streams his face from his nervousness. If Mother was the one sitting on the throne I believe Fire Lord Zuko's words are nothing, but sweet words compare to how threatening she can be.
"Zuko, you know you could be a little nicer to him," the Queen's voice is finally heard.
"Of course not. I won't sacrifice Izumi for this. I don't want Izumi to be forced to do something she doesn't want just because of honor. She doesn't need honor, she already has it."
"Zuko, I don't agree to this proposal of marriage for her either, but I think-"
"I want Izumi to marry who ever she wants. We are fortunate to marry each other and our friends, too, for marrying the ones they love. I don't want Izumi to be forced in an arrange marriage like how my mother's first marriage was. I don't want Izumi to have a loveless marriage with a broken family."
Silence engulf the throne room for a few seconds.
"Speaking of marriages," the Queen says cautiously, "I wonder if she is married. She ran away when discovering your mother's second marriage and family."
"That I wonder too," Fire Lord Zuko's voice falls into sadness. "Azula had a complicated grasp on the idea of love…Maybe… most likely marriage is not a good path for her."
Fire Lord Zuko is wrong and right at the same. Mother did reveal it was hard for her to be linked to love. She said that she hated love once everything was stripped away from her. She hated love, but she longed for love from those she thought it would come naturally. She claimed she hated love before she was married although Father said she learned to love love.
"Do you think she has a lover?" The Queen asks.
"Be it a lover or someone she manipulates, I don't know."
Hearing this makes my body boil of anger, sadness, and an understanding from him. I can see why he views it as her lover or someone she toys with. The Fire Lord only knows my mother from the past. He doesn't know my mother right now. He doesn't know how Mother felt from the experiences she had when she was younger. Fire Lord Zuko doesn't understand Mother.
"Most likely marriage is not a good path for her," Fire Lord Zuko repeats.
At a time before Mother did believe marriage would do harm to her and me. I remember that morning.
I had just woken up and walked quietly to the door of my parents' bedroom. My five year old self remembered it was the day Father would proposed to Mother. I was full of giddiness and excitement.
The punitive, sharp tone of Mother's voice caused me to draw my hand away from the doorknob.
"Like I said before I do not want to be married."
"Azula, we have lived together for six years now. We have a house together, we have a daughter together. Why can't we get married?" Father said pleadingly.
"Why do you want to marry a monster who played you like a toy before? Why do you still deal with me even when you know who I really am?"
"Because I love that woman even when I found out she was using me to benefit from it. I loved you when all you wanted was to only manipulate my feelings. "
"Zen, you fool!" Mother's voice thundered like a violent storm. "You love a demon who hates love. You are a fool for loving me."
"Azula, I may be a fool for loving you," Father's voice raised, "but you are not a demon. I see how you grown to love love. Since I met you, you are more opened to affections. You love Aya and you love me too."
"Shut up! Marrying you is like a lightning striking at my chest. This marriage will hurt my daughter the most."
"Azula, you-"
"Leave!"
The doorknob instantly turned to open the door. I immediately ran to the hallway to make it seem I have just woken up and didn't hear a slightest detail of their conversation. I was so confused to why Mother reacted like this. I knew how Mother could be cruel, but it sounded like she didn't want to love.
My eyes began to water as I let out a croak.
"Aya, what's wrong?" Father asked with concern as he knelt down to wipe away my tears.
"I…think… I heard something scary," I replied.
As I roam the halls of the Fire Nation Palace, my mind cannot steer away from the thoughts of marriage between my parents. When I was standing next to the throne room the royal couple wondered if marriage was not the right path for Mother. Mother believed marriage wasn't fitting for her due to her childhood experiences, but she said she would not regret marrying Father.
That same day when Mother rejected Father's proposal she vowed to marry him. She accepted his proposal when it was already dark out.
I woke up from my slumber to gather a drink of water in the kitchen and passed by the hallway where Father's study room was.
I heard their voices behind the closed door of the study room. I stood beside the door and carefully listened.
"I will marry you."
"Azula, I'm not pressuring you to marry me. I just want you and Aya to be happy. If marriage is not what you want than that's fine."
"No, I will marry you. I want to marry you."
"Why are you changing your mind?"
"Zen, this is what you wanted."
"Azula, why are you-"
"You are right when you said I grown to love love and affections, but I still see myself as a monster, a demon."
"You are not. You are my daughter's mother. You are my love."
Few seconds passed until Father proceed to speak.
"You didn't want to marry me before and saying it was like lightning striking at your chest and hurting Aya."
"My parents' marriage caused me to be the person I am and I don't want Aya to have a broken family."
"That won't happen."
"I won't regret marrying you, but, Zen, I do not want another child. I don't want favoritism for only one child. I don't want Aya to feel like she is neglected by one of her parents. I don't want her to feel like she was never adored. I do not want her to endure the same pain I did."
Footsteps were nearing the door. I tip toed as fast as possible back to my room as if I wasn't near the study room.
A/N: Aya's father 's name is Zen.
