Blended Chapter 18
Here is an update. I hope you guys enjoy.
Jax was gone when Cortney woke up the next morning. She sighed and rolled over to his side and hugged the pillow. Get a grip girl! She chastised herself as she crawled out of the bed to make breakfast for her and Steven and then head over to Gemma's. She had taken a leave of absence from work after Tara's death. Her boss Elliott Oswald told her to take as much time as needed. She did find herself still working from home to keep things running smoothly at Oswald Construction when she was not with Gemma or the boys. She took time off because she knew Gemma would need help and Jax would need her whether he admitted to it or not. It was obvious last night that he needed her. Steven was off for winter break and he was a huge help to Gemma and Cortney. Cortney could tell her son missed prospecting as his best friend Joseph was still a prospect but Cortney knew it was for the best that he not be a part of the Sons in that capacity.
Cortney took a bite of her salad and told Gemma to let her watch the boys tonight since Jax was staying at her place.
"He needs to see the boys." She told Gemma.
"I agree."
Gemma and Cortney were having lunch with the boys at a local restaurant on Main Street. Steven had took off to spend the day at the garage.
"You being there for him is the best thing for him right now. He needs stability and love and you provide him that."
Cortney nodded her head in agreement. She would always be there for Jax. Her heart could not let him go.
"Has he opened up to at all?" Gemma asked as she stuffed her mouth with chicken Alfredo.
"No. He hasn't at all. He's just been really quiet. Hopefully he will soon. He can't hold everything in forever." Cortney answered as she wiped Thomas face.
"He will give him time."
Later that evening Steven opened the door for Jax.
"The boys are here." He announced to Jax not knowing if he was ready to see the boys or not.
"I know. Gemma told me. Joseph told you what happen today with the Chinese."
"Yeah." Steven shut the door as Jax hung up his cut. "The boys are sleep and mom saved you some dinner."
"Where is she?" Jax asked walking in the kitchen to find his plate on the table covered with a Tupperware top.
"Upstairs."
Jax sat at the table and scarfed down the food as he told Steven more details about the days event. Steven sat and listened.
"So it won't blow back on the Sons?" Steven asked.
"No. We set up some peckerwoods for the fall." Jax finished his food and walked upstairs to find his boys fast asleep. He walked over and kissed each one and laid in the bed next to Abel hugging him tight. He missed his boys and he felt so bad that they lost their mother yet again. He knew it would be hard on Abel. He rested with his son for about thirty minutes and almost fell asleep. He shook himself awake and slowly got up and went to look for Cortney.
He found her in her underwear digging in one of dressers for some pajamas. She looked up and found him walking in the bedroom looking tired as usual. He sat on the bed.
"You alright?" he asked looking at her body up and down.
"I'm fine…you?" Cortney finally found a pair of pajama pants. She really need to do laundry. Jax rubbed his hands through his hair, put his face in his hands, and let out a deep sigh. Cortney pulled on her pants, walked over to Jax, and rubbed her fingers through his hair. Without looking up Jax grabbed Cortney's waist, pulled her to him, and rest his face on her stomach. Cortney held onto Jax as he held her tight. After a few moments Cortney pulled away and lifted Jax's chin to see his face. His eyes were red from tears threatening to spill down his face. Cortney leaned over and kissed his forehead. He needed to get some rest so she began to unbutton his blue and white plaid shirt. Jax watched her as she slowly unbutton his shirt and pulled his shirt off. She got on her knees and pulled off his white Air Force Ones and his socks.
"Stand up Jax." She softly instructed. Jax stood up and Cortney unbuckled his belt and pull down his jeans.
"Why are you so good to me Cort?" he asked as he stepped out of his jeans. Cortney looked up at his handsome face.
"Because." She whispered.
'Because why Cort?"
"Just because Jax. I care about you. You should know that." Cortney reached up and ran her fingers through his beard. Jax grabbed her hand and kissed her fingers.
"Do you love me Cortney?"
Cortney pulled her hand from his.
"Don't ask me that Jax." She pulled away from him and he grabbed her arm and pulled her to him. He looked down at her his face serious.
"Do you love me?" he asked again. A tear escaped Cortney's eyes and rolled down her cheek. Why was he doing this to her? She couldn't lie it was so obvious she was in love with him.
"Yes." She replied weakly. Jax wiped her tear away and leaned over and softly brushed his lips with hers.
It took every fiber in Cortney's body to pull away from Jax.
"You don't want to do this Jax. Just because I told you how I feel about you doesn't mean you have to mercy fuck me. That's not what I want."
"Why would you think that?" Jax frowned confused by the turn of events.
"My heart loves you and will be there for you if you need me but my head is remembering how you tossed me aside for Tara. It hurt me to the core Jackson. You broke my heart." Cortney's voice began to tremble.
"I'm so sorry Cortney. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you." Jax reached for Cortney but she stepped back.
"Whether you meant to or not you did Jax."
"Can you forgive me Cort…..please…" Jax begged.
Cortney looked at the man she fell in love with. He was so hurt and broken and it tore at Cortney's heart. Jax walked up to her again and Cortney did not pull away this time. She let him wrap her arms around her and she wrapped her arms around him. They held onto each other as they knew at that moment that they needed each other. She would be there for him always and Jax would be there for her.
"Cortney….I need you to forgive me and give me another chance. I need you." He told her as his fingers caressed her collarbone. Cortney looked up at Jax and caressed his cheek and found her lips reaching up for him. He opened his mouth to her and they passionately kissed until Cortney broke away.
"You need to rest Jax. Let' go to bed." Cortney told him as she went to grab a tank top out of one of her drawers. Jax crawled into bed waiting for Cortney. She cut out the bedroom light and crawled in with him. He immediately took her into his arms. Cortney was content. Yes he did not reciprocate that he loved her she knew that he cared for her deeply and needed her with every fiber in his body. That was fine with Cortney at the moment.
"Did you see the boys?" she asked as she snuggled against his chest.
"Yes." He whispered as he lifted her lips to his and softly kissed them.
"Good." Cortney rested her head in her favorite spot on Jax's chest and fell into a restless sleep.
Jax leaned over and kissed a sleeping Cortney before he got up and took a shower and got dress for the day. He still had a lot planned to crush Henry Lin's empire and life. Jax kissed his boys, checked on Steven and quietly went down stairs and left the house.
Jax lit a cigarette after Tom, Henry's right hand man had left. Jax hopefully convinced him that the two guys set up were the ones who hijacked Lin's heroin haul. Tom told them they only found one body at the scene and it was a mystery to Jax as to why when they had shot both guys. He needed intel on the missing body.
'Come on I need to meet my guy on the inside to see if he can move the rest of the keys we took from Lin." Jax got up and headed out the door when they saw August Marks pull up.
"You expecting the ebony prince today?" Tig asked as they walked up to Marks car.
"No I wasn't." Jax threw down his cigarette. Marks rolled down his window.
"You are early. Twelve inches of a slave doesn't start shooting until tomorrow." Jax joked. Marks just looked at Jax with a stone face.
"Get in." he told Jax.
"Damn…I guess he's not in the mood for jokes." Jax said to the crew as he got into Marks car.
"What's up?" Jax was curious as to why Marks was making an appearance.
"You think your black girlfriend would like your little joke?"
Jax looked at Marks with a frown on his face.
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"Of course if Cortney is not your side piece and just a nanny to your boys who you have no feelings for her than I can see why you would make a stupid racial remark like that without any sort of conscious."
"Wait….how do you know about Cortney?"
"It is my business to know everything about everyone I associate with." Marks replied.
"My personal business is none of your concern." Jax was trying not to become angry. He did not like anyone prying in his personal business and he definitely did not like Marks talking about Cortney. Jax was not racist and he resented Marks for saying so. It was just a stupid joke, however in the back of his mind he knew Cortney or Steven would not appreciate it.
"What did Lin's crew want? I saw them driving away."
"Just tying up loose ends on the Irish guns."
August looked at Jax.
"Jax this does not work without trust. You know trust can't live in the same space as secrets and lies. Do you agree Jackson?"
Jax sighed and nodded his head.
"Ok. I will ask again. Why were they here?"
"Same reason you're here, August. Chinese gun buy down in Selma got ambushed.
We're the likely suspects. I gave Lin proof that we had nothing to do with it. There's not gonna be a war." Jax reassured.
"I'm going to need proof."
"It was some local trailer trash. One of our Nevada charters got the intel. I gave it to Lin.
His crew found them dead with a brick of their heroin. They were just some sloppy amateurs."
August smirked. "That's very convenient. A dead alibi. There are some kilos missing. I know they had at least four."
"You know August this won't work without trust. Are we good?" Jax asked hoping he convinced August he was telling the truth. August looked Jax in the eyes with a don't fuck with me expression.
"You know the biggest difference between me and Mr. Pope? Damon made his bones being the smartest guy on the street. I made mine being the deadliest. Do not cross me, Jackson.
I will have no remorse killing you or any of the Sons."
Jax nodded his head as he got out the car. Looks like the tide might be turning with August Marks. Jax lit another cigarette.
"We have a change of plan. We need to meet up with Tyler."
Jax needed to meet with Tyler to see where the Niners would land when the Sons and August bump heads. Jax was going to need the Niners support and allegiance. After talking with Tyler he wanted the Sons to handle an internal problem and they would fully be an ally to the Sons against August Marks. Things were going as planned.
Jax looked around the warehouse after they had shot up the crew that was Tyler's internal problem. He gazed at all the dead bodies and it did not faze him one bit as lifeless eyes stared back at him. Jax dug in his pocket when his cell rung. He smiled when he saw Cortney's name on the screen.
"Hey babe….what's up?" his smile widen as stepped over a dead body to walk outside to get better reception.
Cortney's heart skipped a beat at him calling her baby and the sound of his voice.
"Hey. I wanted to know if you will be home for dinner tonight?"
Jax closed his eyes as he listened to her voice and the image of her in her underwear last night came to mind.
"Yeah. I will be home by seven." He really needed Cortney and needed to be in her presence as she brought out the best in him. He felt complete when he was with her. He didn't feel like there was a big gaping hole in his heart. He was not the ruthless outlaw when he was with her. The good in him shined when he was with her. Last night as he held her in his arms while she slept he thought hard at what she told him. He knew he broke her heart and it ate him up inside that he did that to her. Jax thought long and hard about his feelings for Cortney as he held her tight. After their talk last night and he reflected on everything she had done for him he knew he loved her and always knew it but after Tara came back, he was an emotional mess and he had to be there for his wife. After all Tara was his first love.
Jax rung the doorbell about 9:30. Cortney was a little pissed as he said he would be in time for dinner. She had already fed the boys and put them to bed. Jax saw the look on her face when he entered the house.
"I'm sorry. Gemma called and I had to take care of something for her." She did not need to know he nearly beaten a man to death. The man would know next time to come into Diosa and bother one of the girls and to lay a hand on his mother.
"I'll fix you a plate." She said shutting the door. Jax hung up his cut, threw his keys in the small bowl she had on hallway table and followed Cortney into the kitchen. He sat down and lit a cigarette.
"Busy day?" she asked filling his plate up from the pots she had on the stove. The images of the shootings and beating flashed through Jax's head.
"Yep….pretty busy."
Cortney put his plate in the microwave, grabbed something off the counter, and sat it in front of Jax. It was a key.
"What is this?" he asked picking it up.
"It's your key back to the house."
Jax looked at the key and then Cortney.
"It makes sense since the boys are staying mostly with me."
Jax nodded, got up and went to put the key back on his keyring. It hurt him when Cortney took it from him the first time but what was he going to do he was going back to Tara at that time and she had every right to want her key back. Cortney pulled Jax's hot food out of the microwave. She sighed when she felt his arms wrap around her waist from behind.
"Thank you." He whispered as he buried his nose in the back of her neck. He took a deep breath and smelled her soft skin, which smelled like brown sugar and coconut. As Jax pushed his body against Cortney, she could feel him stiffen against her. Cortney felt Jax began to kiss the back of her neck and his fingers found their way in her pajama pants and then her underwear. Cortney moaned and leaned over on the counter as Jax stuck two fingers inside her.
"Jax…please don't." she moaned as his fingers began to move slowly in and out of her. "Jax…stop."
Cortney gathered her wits and pulled his hand out of her. She turned around to face him. His eyes gazed at her with pure lust.
"You need to eat."
Jax eyes looked down at her thighs and what was in-between them he desperately wanted.
"Food Jax…..sit down." She motioned to the kitchen table. Jax reluctantly gave in, sat at the table, and ate his food she sat in front of him. "I'll be upstairs watching Scandal. Just put the plate in the sink when you are done."
Cortney started to head upstairs.
"I love you Cortney."
Cortney stopped in her tracks. Did she hear him right? Jax turned around from the table to find Cortney frozen in place. She did not turn around or say anything.
"I've always love you." He confessed. Tears streamed down Cortney's face as she bent her head down and covered her face with her hands. Jax started to get up, as he needed to wrap his arms around her but Cortney darted upstairs before he could get to her.
M/N: Cortney is such a good woman and I really feel Jax has always loved her but Tara coming back had made him into an emotional mess. Jax should not have slept with Tara while he was still with Cortney but as we know Jax does not think straight sometimes. I am glad that he has finally told Cortney that he loved her as she really needed that conformation. I think she would still be there for him and his family regardless if he told her or not.
