Chapter 27
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Sam's heart pounded in her chest as she slowly made her way to slip #42. She wasn't sure what awaited her but she knew that she would try and find a way to convince Martin that she meant what she said; she was going to be different this time.
As she neared she saw a dimly lit sailboat with the name, Muireann, painted along the side. She was here. The boat looked dark and ominous so Sam readied herself for whatever lay ahead. She climbed aboard the boat and spotted a dark solitary figure sitting at the helm. Sam sighed heavily; this was not a good sign.
As she approached, Martin spoke, his voice as soft as a whisper. "Why didn't you tell me?"
Sam neared and she could now make the outline of his face, his eyes looked dark and dangerous. "Viv asked me not to. I couldn't break my word to her."
Martin shook his head, "But why didn't you tell me after she collapsed? After everyone knew, why not then? I've been trying to figure that out all day. You knew that I was worried about her but you still wouldn't confide in me after the fact. Why?"
Sam licked her lips and replied. "I don't know." It was the most honest answer she could give.
"You don't know." Martin laughed mirthlessly. "Two days after Viv collapsed you picked a fight with me when you knew that I was worried before it happened but you never even tried to set my mind at ease. Not once."
"I couldn't tell you Martin…"
"That's not what I mean. I spent that whole day agonizing over what I did to make you angry. To try and figure out how to fix it, fix us. That's when I realized that all we do is fight. We were incapable of comforting one another, of talking when it really mattered." Martin paused, "That's when I realized that you were never going to let me in, never going to love me."
Sam's breath hitched, "Martin, I just wasn't ready or able to before. I know that now, I'm trying to change that."
"If I couldn't break through your barriers after eight months I don't know how it is possible for you to do a 180-degree turn two-months later." Martin paused searching for his words. "It just doesn't sound possible and I don't know if I can survive it if we fall apart again."
Sam walked over to where he sat and kneeled in front of him. "Martin, it isn't easy for me to let people in, men especially."
"I know that, Sam." Martin's said softly. "It's just that I'm tired of being angry at you for continuously pushing me away. It hurts too much."
"Martin, I'm trying. I am. I just need you to be patient with me, to trust that I am trying to change."
Martin looked her straight in the face and said, "I just don't know if I can, Sam."
"Martin, I'm here right now. Do you know how hard it is for me to sit here in front of you and ask for another chance?" Sam's voice was soft and tender. "That must show you something."
Martin sat there just staring at her for a moment that stretched on for multiple breaths. She could hear the water lapping against the side of the boat and somewhere a bullhorn sounded in the distance. She kept her eyes on Martin and she could almost see his wheels turning, considering what she said. Sam wondered if Martin could ever regain that open acceptance he had with her again. Had she damaged anything they could have had irrevocably?
She was trying to formulate a new strategy to break through to him when her stomach growled. Loudly.
Sam's eyes widened as they met Martin's, who softly laughed.
"Hungry?" He asked.
Sam smiled, grateful for the reprieve. "Well, I was promised dinner."
Martin looked at her for a beat before standing up and holding out his hand. She grabbed it as he helped her stand up. Their eyes met, studying one another, when Martin, with her hand still in his, led them down below.
