a/n: Thank you all for your reviews from the last chapter!
this one shows who Ben is meeting on the Space Needle and also brings a welcome (for me at least!) return of someone else...
Chapter 9
Ben remained hidden in the shadows, waiting to greet the man who'd come close to jeopardizing his mission until the most advantageous moment would arise. Ben watched as the man scanned the place and held a naïve look on his smug face. Clearly, the ordinary man felt completely safe and assumed he was all alone.
Ben's lips curled slightly downward despite the emotionless state that he was in. Even though Ben didn't care much of anything, he couldn't help looking down upon the guy. Something of the man's meddling ways and persona bothered Ben, even though they'd never met before, according to Ben's recollection. He didn't like not knowing for sure whether they truly knew one another.
Have we met before?, Ben continued to second-guess himself and his current hazy mind. He began searching his mind for some connection from his past to this clueless man standing atop the Space Needle.
Ben gave up after he came up with nothing. His only recognition of the man had come from Renfro's photos. Which unfortunately meant that Ben had no choice but to believe his director. Ben needed to know his enemy, and so he strained to recall what he'd been told about this man.
"Before you go, I want to give you a gift, 493," Renfro said to his back, speaking in a generous and concerned tone.
Even though he was just beginning to gain back his shattered memories, Ben knew not to believe her. A gift from Renfro could only be a Trojan horse. What did she have to gain? In what way was she trying to exploit him?
But Ben kept his concerns to himself and only nodded slowly, an obedient look fixed on his face even though at the moment he had the advantage of her not being able to see him. He pictured in his mind what her dark eyes must look like right now as she stared at her chess piece. Was this moment a test? He got the impression that she wanted him to keep acting like Alec. Which made sense given that he was a half an hour away from leaving the facility to head for Seattle for the successful completion of his deep-cover mission.
Ben willed a cocky smirk to spread across his face before turning to face her. As he quickly scanned her cold eyes, he noticed that he'd been right. She didn't want to talk to 493 anymore. She probably wouldn't want to again until the mission was over. "Did you wrap it for me in pretty paper?" he responded accordingly.
Renfro momentarily flashed him an irritated, albeit amused look before regaining herself. "It's not that kind of gift, soldier." She paused to take a breath before continuing. "Knowledge, 493. Or I guess by now I should say 'Alec', since you are already in the process of completing your mission."
Ben couldn't help raising one eyebrow in curiosity. He scanned her to see if she was telling him the truth or not while maintaining a Manticore mask. He already knew that he couldn't take anything she said at face value. Though he didn't really want the answer himself, he couldn't help thinking that there was a darker reason for his memory's absence than simply standard protocol of a mission. He felt like his subconscious was hiding a secret, even from himself.
"I know that you have questions," she admitted to him.
Ben swallowed and tried to remain expressionless. If she knew he didn't completely trust her, it meant he was failing to conceal his true thoughts from her. His thoughts were the only thing he felt that could remain safe from her, but it seemed she had ways to control those as well. Ben made a mental note to be more cautious around her from then on.
Renfro enjoyed the surprise that her comment elicited from this broken soldier. Renfro tried to portray her smile as one of genuine concern for the troubled soldier instead of her own joy at his confusion. She appreciated that he still wasn't perfect. She enjoyed the control she held over him. That was the fun part of dealing with something broken. You get to fix it however you want. He was seeking trust. Why not give it to him in a way that could help her as well? If anything, it would at least give him some motivation.
"I want you to know something, 493," she continued. "You died before," she confessed to him.
Ben knew that his emotions were no longer concealed. Although his face remained fixed, showing nothing, there wasn't anything he could do to hide the effect of her statement in his broken eyes.
I died? For a brief moment, racing images of a dark forest danced in his mind before a loud 'snap' that he could almost feel at the top of his spine brought him back to reality. He swallowed once more before regaining his soldier's stance and Manticore mask as he obediently waited for more information, or an order, whatever she wanted to give next.
"And to put your mind at ease, I want you to know the face of your killer."
It took a great deal of focus for 493 to remain expressionless at this remark. I didn't just die. I was murdered. Desire for revenge flared in his mind at this idea. This was a new feeling for Ben that he tried to suppress.
"Here," Renfro said as she handed him a picture. "This is the man that murdered you, 493." She held out a small file of information she'd collected about the man.
Ben struggled to keep his hands from shaking as he reached out for the truth. He confidently swiped the photo and held it up to his eyes to put into memory the face of his killer. It was an ordinary looking man. He had a smug look on his face, but other than that, he looked like any other person.
That was when Ben noticed his eyes. It was like they were piercing him, the icy blue hues he was staring into. Even this photograph had captured their remarkable effect.
Ben quickly scanned the information about him before he was again aware that someone was watching him in this moment. Was this only for her to watch him become tormented? Ben wanted to ask why she was telling him this. She couldn't possibly care about his peace of mind.
"And I also want you to know that this man is dead, 493. So there! You have nothing to distract you from your mission now. There are no more remaining questions."
Yeah, nothing to distract me…except maybe figuring out how some ordinary man somehow managed to one up and murder a genetically engineered killing machine. "How did I die?" Ben couldn't help asking her.
Renfro couldn't quite conceal her annoyance in his question. "Gunshot," she replied tersely. "Anything else? Your motorcycle will be here in 10 minutes."
Ben stared into her challenging eyes but didn't dare respond. If he spoke one more word, he would only be giving her the seed of doubt. Something he didn't want to encourage at all. It would be better if he could continue to appear complacent and dormant.
"Thank you, Madame Director," he feigned gratitude and trust in what she'd just revealed to him even though it had only brought him more questions.
Part of Ben wanted revenge for his death. If it wasn't for this man, at least according to that wretched director, Ben would never have had to go through the motions of life as he was now, feeling like a ghost, a stranger to his own mind.
But another part of Ben simply did not care. What did it matter whether or not this man ended his life? It wouldn't change any of the confusion or emptiness Ben was feeling. As he stared curiously at the man, Ben wondered if they were at all similar. Ben was nothing more than a blind sheep, following the orders of a person he didn't even respect.
But as Ben stared harder at the man, he decided otherwise. That reckless idiot is nothing like us, he realized. Ben could tell he had come out of his own free will. What fool would willingly walk up to their executioner?
Ben watched as the man leaned dangerously close to the edge of the Space Needle, carelessly looking for something…or someone.
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"So you tellin' sista here that Normal's Golden Boy is back?" Cindy asked Max.
They were enjoying a carefree evening at Crash, or at least trying to. Max couldn't help being antsy. The closest she'd ever come to feeling so restless was during one of her heat spells. She swore to herself that the next time she saw Alec, she would demand answers. As carefree as she felt in his arms, she didn't have the luxury of ignoring the rest of her problems. He had to have found out something useful while in Canada. But since he obviously wasn't worried, it helped ease her enough to at least try to have a good time with her friends for the night.
"Do my ears deceive me?" Sketchy asked as he entered the conversation. "Monty Cora returns? Where the hell is the guy?" He then held up a fist for Max to pound in greeting. "Max! Welcome to the living."
"Thanks, Sketch," Max said with an amused smile as she returned the gesture with a partially gloved hand.
"By the way, Max," Sketchy added, holding a hand over his mouth like he was telling her some insider information. "I really did inform Normal of your untimely death."
"Sketch!" Max exclaimed with wide eyes. He couldn't be serious!
"No worries, Max! I also relayed the information that the doctors gave you- that your genetically defected heart would be up and running by Monday after minor surgery and even more minor recovery."
Max let out a laugh at his excuse. "Thanks," she said sincerely as she considered the irony of his statement.
"See?" Cindy commented to Max with a smile. "Girl, I knew you was gon' be fine afta a night wit da crew!"
Max had to agree. "Yeah, I'm havin' a good time."
"And on that note," Sketchy replied, "I'll be heading to the bar for the next round! Drink up, ladies! More right around the corner!" With that, Sketchy headed to the bar, carrying the empty pitcher.
Cindy started shaking her head to the beat. "Hella good music up in here tonight!" she commented. "Makes a momma wanna shake it!"
"So whatcha waitin' for then?" Max asked with a smile. "Go and get your groove on!" She leaned her head toward the dance floor.
O.C. gave a coy grin before getting up. "Girl, I'ma do just that! You hold the table down fa me. I'ma be back afta this one."
Max laughed. "Okay! Just don't go givin' out your number." She then flashed Cindy a mock innocent stare. "I get jealous easy."
Cindy waved the comment away literally with one hand. "Girl! Keep ya shirt on! I'ma be right back!" With that, she stepped out to dance.
The sound of a pitcher hitting the table caused Max to turn her view away from the dance floor. "Finally!" she teased. "Took you…" she trailed as she turned to find Alec holding the pitcher.
"On me?" he offered with a cocky grin.
Max's full lips automatically parted in slight surprise. She quickly closed them tightly and replaced her surprised eyes with distant ones. "Trying to kiss up?" she asked with a roll of her eyes.
Alec's good mood wasn't phased. He opened his mouth to respond, "Ah…I wouldn't say that. Call it a greeting. What better one could there be?" He again grinned widely at her.
Max rolled her eyes again, before facing him seriously. "Well, I could think of one…" she admitted before trailing off.
Alec laughed. "That's cute of you, Max." He brushed off her unusual comment and poured her a glass. "Here, drink up! I should have gotten champagne, but hey, this will work just as well."
Max was a bit surprised that he hadn't gone for the bait. She was truly expecting a kiss after her remark. Did Alec have a problem with public displays of affection with his self-proclaimed girlfriend?
Certainly, he had no qualms about the matter when it was just the two of them. "Now is that any way to greet your girlfriend?" Max challenged him, a slight smile on her face despite the minor rejection she'd just been hit with.
It was Alec's turn to part his lips in momentary shock. "Uh.…you know, you're right." As Max smiled back into his eyes, expecting a kiss, she was again disappointed and confused when instead of a kiss, she then received another smart-ass comment. "Why don't you come over here and give me a proper greeting?" he suggested, his eyebrows wiggling as he smiled in anticipation.
Max frowned at him, fury showing in her brown eyes. The comment made her want to slap him. "A proper greeting for you would be a kick to your ass!" she commented.
"Hey now!" Alec replied in his defense. "We're celebrating here, remember!"
"No," Max answered aggressively. "Why don't you refresh my memory. Why am I supposed to be happy right now again?"
"Well," he began. "You're here, alive and well. And so am I."
"…And?!" Max asked, showing her impatience.
"Aaand. The warning was bogus, Max. Don't you care about what happened in Canada?" He finally was serious, his token smirk fading as he asked her the question.
"Of course I do!" Max answered honestly. "I guess, I just don't get it. Why didn't you want to talk about this earlier?"
"I called you," he offered.
Max rolled her eyes. "Wow, you tried really hard, didn't you?"
"You know, I have to admit, I'm a little surprised here. I didn't think you'd take it so personally."
"What?" she asked defensively.
"My absence. I left because of Logan's warning. Not because I wanted to leave you."
Max swallowed. She didn't want him to know completely the extent to which she cared about him.
Alec surprised her again by finally showing some affection. He held out a gentle hand to stroke the side of her face. "I would never choose to leave you," he admitted.
Max looked into his eyes and was relieved to see that she was staring into hazel pools just as vulnerable as her own. "Alec…" she began as she turned toward his touch.
"So, about Canada," he commented, quickly changing the subject. "That was eye-opening!"
Max didn't understand what his problem was. Why was he pulling away? That was her job. She didn't think that any confusion remained between the two of them after his greeting the night before. But the further their conversation went, the greater her confusion became.
"What do you mean 'eye-opening'?" Max asked him, the emotion gone from her tone.
"Sam," he commented. "She looks just like you."
Max rolled her eyes. She didn't have to say 'duh'.
"I mean, I know what you went through, I guess. About Ben." His voice was quiet and revealing.
Max swallowed. For a brief moment she had again confused him for her dead brother the night before. Maybe her inability to identify him immediately had hurt him. She found herself feeling guilty for the mix-up.
"Well, of course I don't know what you went through," he corrected himself. "I just mean that it really is weird. Seeing someone with your face, your attitude, your body." Alec stopped with a slight clearing of his throat. It seemed he hadn't meant to let the last part slip out. "But," he continued, "she's not you. It made me miss you more. To have you constantly around, but not really…I'm sorry, Max. About Ben. I know I've said it before, but…I feel like I should say it again."
"Listen," Max began, "If this is about last night-"
"What?" Alec asked, giving her a look of complete confusion. "No. Look, this is just something I was thinking of, because of Canada. Seeing Sam." He didn't understand her. Here he was, trying to reach out, and she was trying to brush it all off. It also didn't make much sense to him that she barely reacted to the sight of him. Not that he was expecting a teary eyed 'thank goodness you're back', but even a 'hey! It's good to see you after two weeks!' would have been at least somewhat encouraging. The way she was responding, it was like she didn't really care one way or the other that he was back.
Max nodded and held her lips tightly shut. Fine. Obviously he didn't want to talk about it. She didn't really want to, either, but she would have been willing if it would help ease the tension.
She frowned as she considered Alec's short comments. He had shut her out before. With Rachel. Max recalled the time she had tried to reach out and help him, only to be rejected like her concern was insulting.
Since he clearly wasn't being open about it, she decided to be just as closed off in personal matters and just stick to the mission. "So," she began, "Canada… Two weeks… And it all was just one big flop? Why would Logan give us a bogus warning?"
Alec noted her change of the subject. So she really didn't want to discuss his concerns or her own personal problems. Fine. It was typical of Max, anyway, to try and ignore all her problems. He just had hoped they were past that by now, but clearly they weren't. He brushed off his slight feelings of rejection and continued along the same conversation. "I don't know, Max" he admitted with a shrug and a distant worry present in his eyes. "Did you find out anything more about those computer files?"
"Alec, we're stuck. Remember? I can't do anything more than we've already done."
"Do you know any computer hackers?" Alec asked her.
Max snorted. "Yeah, in fact, you can look them up in the yellow pages!"
Alec nodded. "I realize they aren't easy to track down, Max. Point noted," he replied with cold sarcasm. "Seriously, though. You worked with Logan on a lot of missions before the raid, right? I mean, didn't he have a contact that he let you meet at some point?"
Max narrowed her eyes at him. Something in his tone sounded accusing. "Just what are you getting at, Alec? Cuz I've never known you to hold anything back. So if you've got something to say, why be shy now?"
Alec took a minute to recollect himself. He hadn't meant to ask her like that, almost blaming her. He just couldn't shake the initial vibe he'd gotten when he first greeted her. Like she hadn't been missing him as much as he'd missed her. In fact, she was far more casual than he expected.
Get over yourself! he told himself as he tried to find an appropriate answer for her. As he considered what to say, something about her question struck him as odd. If she were really trying to avoid his realizations or how he felt, why would she demand his honesty? Usually, she did more than help him avoid the subject- she usually pushed it away herself.
Alec gave her a confused look. "What's goin' on, Max?'
"I think I asked you first," Max replied firmly.
Alec let out a quiet laugh. "Listen, I'm just trying to figure things out here. Like why you're so aggressive tonight. Did I do something to piss you off?"
It was now her turn to laugh. "You have to ask?"
Although her voice and demeaner seemed angry, her eyes looked different. They wanted something. They looked hurt.
Alec took a moment to consider his last action with Max. They'd shared an intimate moment. He still remembered the feeling and scent of falling asleep with Max in his arms. It was a memory that he kept going back to the whole time he was separate from her.
Was she mad that he left while she was still asleep?
"I didn't want to wake you," he offered. "I know how you don't sleep much…Or get a chance to relax and be at peace that often. I wanted you to have that moment as long as possible," he admitted to her.
Max stared at him, her eyes vulnerable, and pleading him to continue.
Alec swallowed. "I just want the best for you, Max. Even if all I can offer you is a good night's sleep." He looked at her with an open stare of his own, searching for what it was that she wanted.
Max suddenly reached out and gave him a hug, an action he definitely wasn't expecting.
Alec swallowed and took the moment to offer her his comfort as well as to receive some of his own. Her tiny frame molded perfectly into his arms, and he could feel her heart beat against his. And when she outstretched her arms to literally hold onto him and enclose the space between them, Alec realized that he, too, didn't want to let go.
Her head that was nuzzled just under his neck only moved to stare him in the eyes. He was moved by how open she was being. As her soft lips parted to speak, he had to hold the desire to kiss her so that he could hear her out.
"You're right," she admitted in a soft voice. "I don't get to feel peace that often." But Max knew something that could always put her mind at ease while making her heart soar.
"But…" she continued. "There is something that you could do for me."
Alec's heart ached at her words and her request. She made him feel more vulnerable than anyone else. The request was hardly fair. But maybe she didn't realize that he didn't have the ability to say no to her.
"And what's that?" he asked her in a soft, deep voice as he returned her open stare.
"This," she mumbled before resting her head again against the top of his chest.
"Max," he whispered to her. "I'm not going to leave you again."
In the moment, Max couldn't hear the distant beat of the music or see the changing colors of the flashing lights in the club. Even though it was only a whisper, she heard Alec's words with every part of her loud and clear.
"All right!" Sketchy interrupted their embrace with a cheer.
Max opened her eyes again and pulled her head away but didn't let go of Alec immediately. She grinned at her friend. "So finally you show up with the beer! You better not make all your girls wait that long!"
"My buddy, Alec, here, requested a moment alone with his lady. And who am I to object to such powerful chemistry?"
Max laughed before looking up at Alec again. "Did you really ask him that?" she asked with an amused grin.
Alec shrugged. "What can I say, I wanted to give you a proper greeting."
Max nodded with a curious expression. "Oh, really? Cuz that definitely wasn't the best greeting I've ever gotten." She grinned as she finished her hint.
Alec couldn't help smiling back. "And what did you have in mind?" he asked.
"Oh…" Max went on, clearly playing dumb. "Something like…this." She finished by gently sliding her lips over his.
It was short (thanks in part to Sketchy's cheering in the background) but it was enough to leave both transgenics grinning and glowing.
"So I need to ask you a favor," Max said to Alec after she released his lips.
"I'm all yours," he returned.
"No more talk of you-know-what tonight. I'll work on a contact tomorrow." She then gave him a challenging grin. "Think you can handle that, Pretty Boy?"
Alec pretended to actually contemplate it for a moment before answering. "Um…. Yeah, what the hell. I guess I could do that for you. But you have to do something for me then."
"And what's that?" Max asked him with a smile.
"Could we do that greeting one more time?" he asked with a laugh.
Max returned his laugh. "Let's just see how the night goes," she answered with a huge grin set on her face.
a/n: Thanks for reading! I have the next ch almost done as well, and here's a lil spoiler- its going to be a big, somewhat dark, Ben ch
