7.

Loki blinked his surprise like an owl – a stupid owl, his brain supplied, unhelpfully. He felt a surge of joy so strong that it simply enraged him and he pushed it down savagely. He back-pedalled away from this, sure so hard in the attempt to restore both image and ego that absolutely nothing came out of his mouth that was not at the very least one hundred percent arsehole.

He swallowed his smile, shoved one of the traitorous hands that had instinctively reached – to touch, to hug, he didn't even know, it was awful – shoved it hard in his pocket and ran the other through his hair, going even so far as to forget that it was streaked with silver which then came off in his hands. He laughed shrilly, a high pitched grating sound that sounded horrible and false even to his own ears.

"It's Thor, right? I'm bad with faces – and names actually, you'll have to help me out here –"

The look on Thor's face – as though he had been slapped, was an instant vindication, a painful little tug of victory that Loki could take no real joy in, just settled back comfortably into the pool of his own acid. He could smirk, with no real humour, more easily with his brain nipping at him cuttingly –

"No wait, it's coming back to me – Terminal Dumbness – Darkness – something like that – I forget."

"Deafness," Thor heard his voice as though from far away, coming up out of a floor that falling out from under him."

"Christ, yeah, that was it – now I wish I had forgotten." Loki faked a laugh that was better than the last one; people were turning now, starting to look at them curiously and he thrived beneath the spotlight just as Thor floundered.

"Why I do believe you had the honour of being one of the worst bands it was ever our misfortune to play with. Did you really follow us all the way the new world? Such perseverance. I'm afraid we aren't in need of a support act right now and if we did –" he gave Thor a long look that was so withering Thor believed it utterly – "We'd find someone capable of holding a tune in a bucket."

Thor stood, bereft, as the laughing green eyes turned away. Loki could grin in all earnest knowing that he narrowed them out of guilt and not the disgust he was feigning so well. He could hear himself, feel himself behaving so wretchedly and could do nothing to stop himself. He felt like he was choking on bile, and turned away with the most dazzling dismissive poise because of, more than in spite of, the confusion inside. He had almost completed a full turn, swivelling on his heel as graceful as a dancer when he felt a second tap on the shoulder. He turned back slowly, languidly, softly sighing and rolling his eyes –

"Alright, but I can tell you I'm so bored right –" and Sif punched him in the face. The room exploded in uproar, half shouting at her, half rushing to Loki's aid.

"Come on Thor," she muttered, thin lipped in the surrounding panic. She took his arm and all but dragged him away.

-x-

"You can try them again later," Fandral was saying, far too reasonably for Thor to be able to deal – "Or – god knows there's plenty of other bands would relish the opportunity – hell it's just publicity, it doesn't been have to be a band – we could get an actor or – or –"

"Shit Fandral –" Sif looked over to Thor, slumped deeper into his hotel room chair than she had ever seen him slump, face squashed into his hand in silent sorrow – "Will you shut up already?"

Fandral started to babble something, looked at Sif, looked at Thor, looked at Sif again, noted the angle of her eyebrows and the pointed look she was giving him and hurried out quickly.

Sif stared at Thor in silence for a long time. Eventually he looked back. There was a look of decision in his face that made her heart sink.

"Thor no," she said, but –

"I'm going to try again," he said.

"Oh my god," she said.

-x-

Loki was a riot of sensation; electricity prickled his skin, it was knowledge, awareness, guilt and so many other things. It was the knowledge that he behaved unforgivably and the awareness that he did not find it as funny as he ought to have – as he usually would have. It was a feeling of tightness in his chest. It was a fear that this was it, Thor would never try again; that he would go away for good this time – like he went away before his brain supplied. It was a fear that Thor would not go away, and all this nasty prickliness inside would have to come out. He could lose his cool. He could demonstrate genuine emotion. He could be forced – and this was the worst – to tell the truth. He shuddered and spent twice as long that night getting dressed and perfect even than he usually did.

It was some kind of charity event. He was performing briefly and then mingling. He couldn't give a fuck about charity, but he did enjoy the mingling and loved the performing. He smiled at himself in the ballroom mirrors; he was copper and gold and cream today to match the walls and hangings, part of the furniture he thought and then wondered if that was really as good a statement as it had seemed at the time. Gold lips smiled back at him and a diamante teardrop winked rainbows in the crystal light. He had tipped his nails with crystal and determined not to drink too much or else have no option but be fascinated by watching his beautiful fingers move.

Fuck me I am beautiful, he thought, flirting with his reflection, but then the sour thought – if they only knew what I really looked like. He was a walking lie, swishing opulent beauty covering rancid snakeskin. He didn't care. Didn't. Care. Loki loved himself; everybody knew that.

And he was scanning the teeming ballroom to get a good overview, that was all. At first he did not even see Thor, looking utterly ridiculous with a tiny champagne glass in a massive hand. Then he did see him. His gaze moved swiftly on, not caring. He glanced back only to prove to himself how much he did not care. He walked straight past Thor, throwing glamorous air kisses at a celebrity he only vaguely knew, stood just behind him.

Thor had been determined to be cooler about this than the first time. Even so when Loki passed by so close, brushing his arm and he could smell him, champagne and rain and fire all at once – he wondered if he could really do this after all. These champagne glasses were ridiculous; he quietly acquired a stack of more than half a dozen empties. Eventually even Sif gave up on him and wandered off.

In a moment of diabolical timing it was just on the back of Sif's departure that he caught a scrap of conversation from Loki, who had drifted nearby somehow again.

"Who is that one?"

"Which one?" So superior, so unconcerned.

"The tall, English gentleman with the marvellous hair. He hardly stops staring at you, did you know?"

Thor looked down at the floor quickly, but it did not stop him hearing the rest; Loki's brusque snort and fake fucking laugh –

"Groupies," he sneered, waving Thor's entire existence away with a casual gesture – "Will you excuse me?" He sashayed past Thor with his nose in the air as though he was something that smelled bad.

That was it.

Thor let Loki nearly get past him before grabbing his arm and yanking him round to face him;

"What the hell are you doing?" he growled

"Says the man grabbing my arm. Ouch by the way. Let go."

"No. I came all this damn way and you're just going to brush me off like some god damn groupie?"

"Well yes. What, did you think you were the only fling I had in the past five years? Piss off – I've –"

"I don't want to hear about it –" he snarled, suddenly savage; he really, really didn't.

"Tough. Sorry to burst your bubble sweetie, but if you want a piece of me you'll have to get in line and –" Loki actually leaned in, whispering – "It's a really, really long line."

Thor actually growled then, and shook him in frustration.

"Nice," Loki spat – "Nice comeback. Jesus, you were the worst mistake I ever made."

"I thought –"

"You thought you were what? Special? Oh you are fucking special. Coming all this way – what? You want a pat on the head for being such a good dog? You're a fool. A simple minded, useless imbecilic fool –"

"Better a fool than a vain, lying, superficial –"

"Oooh big word that, superficial, take care or that single celled organism in your head might over heat."

"Damn you, you –" Thor boiled, raged; he could never match Loki for words, he was not even sure why he bothered trying – "I was a fool," he said flatly, letting go of his arm, surprised to see a brief flicker of disappointment in those reflective darting eyes. This time he turned and walked away, trying to ignore that Loki was smiling knowingly at his back.

He wondered, as he felt in his pocket later, if anyone had ever slipped their phone number into someone's pocket in the thick of an argument before.

_x_

OMG people what can I say except I AM SORRY, I AM SO SO SORRY, I knew it had been a while, didn't realise it had been so long, I don't know how to apologise enough except I DO absolutely know what's happening in the next chapter this time and so it shouldn't be nearly so long next time! I've had so much going on this month as well and all that, blah blah blah – it should all be calming down now I hope!

And yes….I do lie to wiggle a little tumbr meme into my writing now and then, couldn't help myself, Loki made me do it. :-P