Warning in this chapter for Loki being a mega little shit, I probably really should be more specific but I don't wanna ruin it for anyone!

11.

It was hard to say when Loki was being weird when weird was something he had been carefully building into his personality for as long as anyone could remember.

But Loki was being weird. Thor was sure of it. Sure that Loki was talking to people about things that did not involve him, or worse, that he was ending these conversations with "Don't tell Thor" and "Thor mustn't know". It was making him more than a little bit nervous but every time he felt like he had fully built up the intention to confront him about it Loki would do something more than usually sweet or affectionate, something he never realised was carefully designed to let Thor know that they were fine, more than fine, they were wonderful. He wondered that he kept being an idiot and falling for it, but he did.

-x-

Loki was in his element. He loved making plans. He loved it, in truth, more than he even loved executing them. He loved that it was referred to as executing. He was dancing through the sky on a tightrope of his own brilliance. A tightrope he firmly believed was a great deal more secure than it was. In Loki's mind nothing could really go wrong because he really did not care that much about any outcome for it to truly affect him. Nothing affected him deeply; he prided himself upon this and the little voice at the core of him that knew it was a lie just prided it all the more deeply for being so.

He was such a good liar he fooled himself. He enjoyed fooling himself; admired his own persona and positively adored him.

"Sometimes," he would say "I'd like to not be me – but only so I could fuck me". Thor had taken note and never told Loki to go fuck himself, even in a serious argument – he knew Loki would either be delighted to do so or say he was anyway. Thor might even point out how often Loki waxed lyrical upon the wondrousness of being himself, on how often he had scorned the idea of being anyone else; but Loki seemed – infuriatingly- to even take the judgement that he was a walking contradiction of his own terms as a compliment.

Beneath this crackling bright shadow of busyness Loki was surprised – and Thor suspicious - to watch himself becoming increasingly more affectionate and sweet. Loki could only suppose it was the fallout from a vague feeling of guilt at the trick he planned to pull. It certainly wasn't concern, and it definitely was not worry. Worry that if he got too comfortable Thor might see who he was and not like it. Worry that if Thor so much as saw him without a hint of make – up he would decide that he was ugly. It had nothing to do with the fact that he would sneak to the bathroom at night to re-apply eyeliner so that he would wake up perfect and Thor would never doubt that he was anything other than perfect. Certainly he did not give a shit whether or not Thor actually loved him, not care whether or not he cared. He certainly did not worry about the fact that he might be worrying and that this might make his insides wriggle and twist like mating snakes. That would just be silly.

He delivered the suggestion, the hint of his plan, to Thor one night with just the right amount of cool balanced with trepidation.

"Do you think –" he looked down, bit his lip, not so subconsciously wrinkled up his nose like he did when he was considering something nervously – "Would you be dreadfully sad if I had my own show next Thursday? Just a one off I mean – with Lokasenna?"

They worked together so consistently these days that it really was an odd request, if not, Thor thought, one deserving such an air of subterfuge as Loki had been demonstrating these past few weeks.

"Really?" he breathed out a huge sigh of relief – "Is that all?"

"What?" Loki blinked.

"Oh come on – you've been wanting to broach something with me for weeks – I was thinking – I don't know what I was thinking." Thor almost laughed, he was so glad it was out; Loki scowled inside, but he did not feel bad, not in the slightest – "I just – Loki –" he took Loki's shoulders and Loki found it hard to meet his eye – "Loki, you shouldn't ever be worried to ask me something like this – you know I'll support whatever you want to do."

Loki grinned inside from ear to ear, Thor was such an idiot; outwardly he smiled shyly;

"Well good, I was just – afraid you'd be upset."

Thor shook his head at Loki's silliness and kissed him on the forehead and that night Loki was more affectionate and open than it felt like he had ever been before. Loki felt it himself; a neediness and an ache to be close that had him twisting and writhing around Thor like ivy, clutching and grabbing and hissing to feel his skin, fucking him hard enough to stop his mind from working, to stop himself thinking. It worked, at least for the duration. At least until afterwards when Thor whispered that he loved him – something he seemed to do more and more of late and Loki felt a stab of what even he could not deny was fear and he could not reply, just smiled a tight smile and thought yes, yes that's it, that's the thing - and I worked so hard to have nothing to lose.

_x_

When the time came Thor just stood on the side-lines and watched like everybody else. But where everybody else only felt like their world was falling apart for Thor it was true. And that world, the one they were all so invested in – that world was simply Loki.

It was the night of the big gig; Loki had asked him to come along as a watcher, just to join the audience like everyone else. He would enjoy it, he said, to know that Thor was watching him; it would add to his performance to know that there was one person amongst the adoring fans whose adoration was really real. It sounded like a bit of a cheap line to Thor; something Loki had heard somewhere else and liked the sound of – he was not sure Loki knew what real meant – but in the end he liked the sound of it too and smiled as he kissed Loki in his dressing room and Loki said the words that haunted him afterwards –

"I'm scared Thor, I'm scared about tonight, I'll feel safer if I know you're there."

Thor looked at him worriedly, with the bright backstage light glinting in his eyes and the rhinestones running down his neck and he felt a chill despite the smell of greasepaint melting in the overheads. Loki smiled, that strange tight smile again, and nodded I'll be okay, don't worry about me, I'm just being silly I'm sure. He had said these things a lot this past week and Thor had just kept reassuring him, just kept telling him the uneasy feeling was nerves at his first solo performance in so long. Even so Loki had gone about like a haunted creature, quiet and thoughtful, pale and wide eyed.

"Go!" Loki said, trying too hard to sound like he was making light of it – "Go find a good spot. You want to get my best angle don't you?"

He had Loki's best angle then he thought; shining in oily green and purple, shimmering when he moved. When he went away he still had a shimmer like fine diamonds dusting his shirt.

The gig went astoundingly; of course, Loki always did. The crowd was feverish; it seemed to Thor – who kept to the shadows where he would not be seen – that they were far more excited over Loki on his own than ever for the both of them. But it was different; what you saw from here, than what happened up there.

This, at the end; was what Thor saw:

The lights on the stage dimmed to low green and gold, the colours swirled like a river as Loki dived in and unveiled his new song as though it were a statue. The theme was the death of the Trickster as it had so often been before but there was a sorrow to it as Loki sang that sounded like a farewell. Thor felt in himself the most terrible feeling of unease; an unease that seemed to echo through the crowd who fell silent, looking shiftily from side to side. The place was packed, but towards the end of the song Thor found his eyes drawn to the closed off area, a small set of seating towards the side of the stage. The shadows there seemed to move strangely until he was sure he could see a strange tall figure there and whisperings around him suggested others in the audience had seen it too.

On the stage the green gold river moved and Loki swam in song through the dust motes, encased in starlight. The song rose higher and higher towards its end and in the darkness of the back of the stage the idea of a serpent swam in light and silk screen, glowing scaled reflecting across the floor of the stage. The Trickster closed his eyes and took a deep breath in token of surrender and when he spread his arms to fall back into the river of light a shot rang out brutally across the stadium.

From that moment on there was chaos; the music cut and Loki's voice broke in the middle of his final note; he seemed to fall in slow motion and when the crimson started to pool at his throat the audience started to scream. People panicked and the crowd broke up and Thor; moving slowly, seeing everything just a step behind the rest, saw that the figure in the closed off area was gone.

It felt like he was in a dream, dazed, and it was hours before he looked back towards the stage, trying to wade his way there through the swamp of bodies. He did not react, could not react until he reached the stage where someone was choking out, in a voice of shock and awe, that Loki Laufeyson was dead.

_x_

Am I gonna be cruel and not leave you any clues in my note this time? Well….yeah. :-P

Next chapter shouldn't be too long a wait though. :-)