His mother had clipped him round the ear when he got home, but only after she had scooped him into her embrace and held him tight to her chest.

"Idiot! If you weren't an adult I'd take that god damned bike off you! How could you have been so stupid?"

"Like you said, I'm not a kid, people get into accidents all the time. If you didn't want me to get hurt you might as well have wrapped me in bubble wrap and never let me leave the house."

His mother harrumphed, and muttered something under her breath about trees and Vulcans.

"Hey, that tree came out of nowhere! And I probably could have walked it off if that pointy eared prat hadn't knocked me out again."

Winona raised an incredulous brow. "Sure Jim, and while you were walking it off I'd have got accepted into the VSA." Jim didn't dignify that with a reply, only frowning. Winona sighed and shook her head. "Maybe I was wrong about them," She said thoughtfully. "They may be stuck up, but they saved your life, Jim. We have to invite them for dinner, do something to thank them."

Jim rubbed a hand over the new skin on his arm distractedly. "Sure, just let me know when you're organising it and I'll make sure I can't make it."

"Don't be so proud, Jim! They snubbed you once, surely saving your life makes up for that?"

He rolled an apple out of the fruit bowl distractedly. "He didn't save my life, he just gave me a place to stay after I got into an accident. I wasn't even that injured. Even if I was, it'd have been the doctors who saved my life, not Spock."

His mother raised a brow. "On a first name basis now are we?"

Jim took a bite of the apple forcefully. "Only because I can't pronounce his other damn name!"

"Uhuh. Well either way, I want to do something to thank him."

"Can we at least invite Bones?"

"Oh come on, Jim, you wound me! I'd never pass up an opportunity to see Leonard flap over that nice Uhura woman."

Jim raised a brow. "Please don't tell me you've got some ridiculous match-making scheme up your sleeve?"

Winona said nothing, but grinned at her son impishly. Jim honestly wondered how a woman as devious as his mother wasn't already running the Federation.


Much to Jim's surprise, and displeasure, the Vulcans accepted the invitation straight away, and he barely had time to think of a valid excuse by the time the dinner came around. Once again Jim found himself dressed to the nines, and incredibly unhappy about it. The doorbell chimed twice as he was attempting to tie a Windsor knot. Grumbling, he made his way to the door, and opened it to find McCoy stood outside, mirroring his exasperation.

"Bones, you're early."

The doctor raised a brow. "Yeah, good thing too with the state you're in. Has your mother seen you yet?"

"No. She'll be lucky if she sees me at all this evening."

"Jesus kid, come here." He said, stepping into the house and swatting Jim's hands away from the disaster that was his tie. Leonard's deft hands made short work of the knot, but he fiddled with it for a little longer anyway.

"I think you've got it Bones." Jim said softly.

The doctor coughed and withdrew his hands. "Sorry, I guess I'm just a bit nervous. I haven't seen Nyota with the Vulcans around since the first time we met. I just know I'm going to screw up in front of them and she's going to think I'm such a klutz."

Jim smiled warmly and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Bones, she's already head over heels for you, I don't think she could think badly of you if she tried."

Leonard smiled wryly, colour rising on his cheeks. "Yeah, whatever."

The doorbell went again and Jim sighed. "Go on into the dining room, my Chris'll get you a drink."

Stood directly outside was Spock, the faintest look of surprise on his face. He was dressed less formally than he had done at the ball, and in the Terran fashion rather than the Vulcan. The lines of his suit were sharp, and tapered in along the length of his slim figure. In the dusky light of the evening, only illuminated by the flood of light from the back rooms, the Vulcan's eyes looked even darker, more animalistic almost, but there was a healthy flush to his skin, darkening the arch of his cheekbone.

"Are you going to let us in or do we have to stand out here all evening?" Uhura said with a grin.

Jim's gaze fell to the woman next to Spock, she was also dressed in a muted dress, simple, but with a flattering peplum flare at the waist. He felt his face begin to heat up. "Sorry, yeah, come in. The dining room is through there and to the right. If you'd like anything to drink don't be afraid to ask. Chris and Len are through there already."

At the sound of Bones' name, Nyota's smile softened, and the four of them made their way through into the back. The dining room wasn't anything spectacular, hardly as grand as the one he had wandered through the Vulcan Ambassador's house. The walls were painted an airy cream colour, with the furthest one sporting an impressive set of wall to ceiling bay windows, framed with sage green French-styled curtains. Even the furniture was simple, but elegant; pine dining chairs and an a long, matching table, saber legs gently bowed, embroidered cushions a splash of colour to match the curtains.

T'Pring turned her head to Stonn and mouthed what looked like the word "quaint". Jim bristled but said nothing, heading over to Bones.

"Pour me one of those will you." He said. "It's going to be a long evening."


Conversation was polite, but stifling. The niceties passing between his parents and the Vulcans was enough to make Jim gag. He was perfectly content to keep to himself, only answering, when directly questioned, with curt replies. He pushed the leafy vegetables around his plate absent-mindedly, deliberately avoiding eye contact with any of the guests, bar Uhura, although her attention was fixated elsewhere.

"Doctor McCoy," T'Pring began. "You are qualified to practise medicine are you not?"

"Yes, m'am, I am." Leonard replied.

T'Pring smiled coldly. "So why do you feel the need to apply to Starfleet. Is it purely companionship to Mister Kirk, or is there another reason?"

Jim looked up. Uhura and Spock's conversation had all but come to a halt as the rest of the diners turned to look at Bones. Jim swore internally. The icy look on T'Pring's face betrayed her less than innocent motives. She was fishing for something.

"I …" Leonard stammered. "I have people on Earth who would rather I weren't here, and will go to great lengths to see me gone. I thought I'd just save them the trouble."

"People, doctor?" The Vulcan replied, her air light and questioning, but her gaze intense.

Leonard's composure was slipping as he scratched the nape of his neck self-consciously. "Namely my ex-wife, and her family."

The smallest, polite smile graced T'Pring's features. "How unfortunate. Why such animosity?"

Jim looked at Bones. He had gone pale and a little clammy. His eyes flitted up towards Uhura, before returning to his lap. "Lord knows, we didn't exactly end on good terms." He replied shakily.

"Why not?"

Glancing at Nyota, Jim could see the displeasure creasing her face. He only hoped it was with the Vulcans and not the doctor. "Well… that's kind of a personal question."

"Oh. I see."

Jim was practically seething. "When did this become a game of twenty questions? And why are we only grilling Bones? We haven't heard much about you guys, and since you're our guests, don't you think we should be talking about you, rather than us?"

If the look his mother shot him was anything to go by, the venom in his voice was particularly apparent.

"Pray tell, Mister Kirk, what would you like to know?"

Jim smiled perniciously. "Since you have such an obviously distaste for Terran culture, why are you here?"

"Jim, dear, why our guests are here is of no consequence, we are just glad to have their company, are we not Christopher?" Winona said, jabbing her husband in the ribs as subtly as she could manage.

Before he could reply Spock turned to Jim, the barest hint of indignation on his brow. "You appear to have strong opinions regarding our culture, and if I am not mistaken, you have never set foot on our planet. If one would like to change one's opinion of a place or a culture, surely one would have to spend time amongst its people."

"Would one now? Does one think that I'd change my mind if I visited Vulcan?"

"I did not say that. I merely suggested that criticising our being here despite our apparently obvious disdain for the planet, could be deemed hypocritical as you hold our culture in equal disdain, and yet have done nothing to remedy it."

"Perhaps it isn't your culture that I don't like, maybe it's just you."

Spock raised a brow. "Is that so?"

"Perhaps."

"Jim, why don't you go and check on dessert." Said his mother, sternly.

Jim said nothing, glaring fixedly at Spock as he got up. The Vulcan's gaze followed him as he left the room, and if his mother's tone hadn't been enough warning he would have gladly shattered the delicate bowls of fruit as he removed them from the fridge. Instead he placed them gently onto a tray, laid them out on a side table before excusing himself for the night, citing that his injuries were still causing him pain, barely restraining the curl of his lip as he bid the Vulcans a good evening.


Jim scratched at the healing skin on his arm absentmindedly as he sat outside the Academy testing facility. Despite the setback the Hyperspace Physics exam had gone well, while the Dynamic Relationships test had proven to be particularly stressful, although he was fairly certain that more than a few candidates had failed to even complete the test, so that was something.

He had finished the IQ test a little earlier than he'd anticipated, but was waiting for Bones to come and meet him. They had an afternoon of beer, bourbon, and crap TV planned. It was going to be bliss.

McCoy's flat wasn't exactly luxury. In fact it was far less luxurious than Jim's own house, but it was away from his parents and that was what mattered. After that disastrous dinner, and all of the stress of his exams, he needed some space with people he actually wanted to spend time with.

Leonard was quiet for the entire walk home, and he barely spoke once they got there either. He and Jim were sat lounging on the sofa for a while, the television muted but flashing images of one sport or another, people in bright jerseys running around fields, stony looks of determination on their faces, before he spoke up.

"I've been invited to train with Doctor M'Benga on Vulcan."

Jim's brows shot up. "Oh, wow … when do you start?"

Bones wrung his hands a little. "Next week."

"Shit. Wow. Umm… congrats?" Jim took in McCoy's demeanour and paused. He was slouched, his hands clasped together and held close to his body, a dark look on his face. "You don't seem that happy about it."

He sighed and scrubbed a hand over his face. "It's great for my career, but it's on Vulcan."

"On Vulcan? But that'll mean you'll be closer to a certain linguist." Jim said with a licentious grin.

"That's got nothing to do with it, Jim." Leonard replied with about as much reproach as he could muster, which never was an awful lot when it came to Jim.

"Sure."

"Come on, kid, you can't think I'm that sappy."

Jim scratched the nape of his neck as he leaned back in his chair. "I dunno, Bones, you're a proper Southern Gent. You pretend to be all grisly and that, but you're all soft on the inside."

Leonard rolled his eyes and gave Jim's shoulder a shove. "You're an ass."

"So, are you going to take it?"

"Hmm?"

"The training."

McCoy frowned again. "I … I've just never been that far from Jo before..."

"Come on, Bones, Jocelyn isn't any more likely to let you see her just because you're planetside. You'll get experience, better prospects, you might even get a stable job for once. A stable job could mean a change in a certain custody agreement. And I can think of several other reasons you should. Most of them involve Miss Uhura."

Leonard snorted but a small smile was burgeoning on his face. "Yeah, kid, I know. I just don't know if I can deal with Vulcans, even in a professional capacity."

"You'll never know if you don't try."

Leonard nudged Jim's shoulder with his own. "You know, you're a lot wiser than you should be at your age."

Jim doffed an imaginary cap with a grin, and McCoy rolled his eyes. "Okay, I take it back. You're ridiculous."


"So Bones is being transferred to Vulcan."

His mother didn't look up from her paperwork. "I am aware."

She had barely spoken to him since the incident at dinner. He had no remorse for what he had said, but he did regret that it had caused his mother so much grief. She hadn't even lectured him, only given him a tired, disappointed look. "We'll be joining him once your exams are finished."

"What?!"

This time Winona did look up. "It's been a long time since I've been to Vulcan, and Christopher has some business there. You could use the break as well, you've worked hard for these exams, in your own way."

"I'm fine right here."

"You want to get into Starfleet, right?" Jim nodded. "Then you'll have to get used to going off planet every now and then. Vulcan is an interesting place, there's a lot more to it than you'd think. Not to mention there are certain misconceptions that I think need to be cleared up. If you want to get anywhere within the Federation, you need to have a healthy respect for other people and cultures."

Jim sighed. "Do I get a choice?"

"After the disgraceful display at dinner the other night, no."

Jim clenched his jaw, but didn't protest. "How long for?"

"A couple of months. You'll be back before term starts, don't you worry. You could go and visit the temples while we're there. For a race that relies so heavily on logic and reason, Vulcan religion is surprisingly ingrained into the culture."

She turned back to her paperwork silently, not waiting for a reply. Jim swallowed thickly, turning tail and leaving the house again. It seemed like he couldn't stay in the house for longer than a few minutes before it felt like he was suffocating again. With the bike out of commission there wasn't much to do but walk. He wandered through the suburbs and into the city.

Jim loved to walk by the Bay as the storms were rolling in. He loved to watch the clouds as they hung low, steeping the land in dense fog before drenching it with an ocean's worth of rain. He loved that people saw the storms coming and made their way inside as quickly as possible, leaving the sidewalks bare and open for Jim to wander down. He stopped by the railings, the Bridge framing the Bay as a crack of lightning lit up the sky out to sea. He didn't know much about Vulcan as a planet, but he was fairly certain they didn't have views like this. He was going to miss the water, the green and blue was never something he had appreciated enough, until he was faced with the possibility of not seeing it for months on end.

"We meet again, Mister Kirk." Came a familiar voice, dragging him from his train of thought. Stood beside him, his arms draped over the railings was Sybok.

"Sybok." Jim said, a smile blossoming onto his features. "It's been a while. How have you been?"

The Vulcan shrugged. "I'm far better for seeing you."

Jim snorted. "Has that line ever worked?"

Sybok laughed and gave Jim a wink. He chuckled and turned back towards the Bay, sighing.

"Is there something wrong?" Sybok asked, placing a hand on Jim's forearm.

"I'm going to be off planet for a while." he replied, glancing back over the Bay. "I'm going to miss this place."

"If you're taking Academy exams then you can't be gone for long."

Jim's eyes were distant, as though he were gazing out at something unseen out on the water. "Yeah, it's just, the last time I went off planet for longer than a week…"

"Jim?"

He could smell the blood mixed in with the dirt as though it were right here. The stench of rot and defecation ripe as the day he'd first smelled it. "The last time I spent any time off planet was when I went to Tarsus." Jim said quietly.

Sybok's grip on Jim's arm tightened. "Tarsus IV? I'm sorry. You must have a lot of painful memories."

"More than you could possibly imagine."

The two men were quiet for a while, watching the cloud tumble inland, blotting out the blue of the late afternoon sky. There was a low rumble as the stagnant air began to fill with the sound of water. Dripping here and there before coming down in torrents.

"Are you hungry?" Sybok said, lifting his jacket to shield them from the rain.

Jim breathed in deeply, taking in the smell of the rain, washing away the memories. He smiled up at the Vulcan. "Always, why?"

"Would you like to have dinner with me?"

Jim swallowed, his eyes flitting from Sybok's eyes to his mouth and back again. He laughed it off. "Only if we go Dutch."

The Vulcan's face melted into a warm smile and Jim found himself melting too.

They settled on a little Thai place downtown with an open kitchen and loud cooks. Jim loved the bursts of flame, the smell of the spices and the hurried chatter that came with busy little restaurants. Everyone was coming and going and it was great for people-watching. He had always loved people-watching, something about turning the tables appealed to him. From his vantage point no one paid him any attention, for once, no one cared who he was.

"So tell me more about yourself, Jim." Sybok said as he lifted the noodles from their soup.

Jim scoffed, popping a piece of chicken in his mouth. "There's not much to tell that the tabloids haven't already bared for the galaxy to see."

Sybok ate in a delicate, Vulcan way, but he seemed to be almost ashamed to do so. "Well, there's not much to say on my account either. You've already met my esteemed brother, Spock."

Jim almost inhaled his soup. "Spock is your brother?!"

Sybok smiled wryly. "Yes, unfortunately for him."

"I think I know who's the unfortunate one, and it isn't Spock." Jim muttered under his breath.

The Vulcan's expression softened. He chewed a mouthful of seafood thoughtfully before speaking again. "I suppose you may be right. Spock has never suffered much misfortune. He is our father's golden child, a perfect example of a Vulcan. I, on the other hand, was nothing but a disappointment to him. He wanted a VSA graduate, married off to a good bloodline. Instead he got me. I thought that familial bonds would have been enough to spare me his degradation. I was, however, sorely mistaken. The water of the womb runs thinner than I knew."

Jim put his chopsticks down and steepled his hands under his nose. "What do you mean?"

Sighing, Sybok set his chopsticks down as well. "Vulcan children are educated from a very young age to believe that the key to self-knowledge is restrain and the tireless pursuit of logic. However, the more I took to studying it, the more I realised that this wasn't so. There are very few species in the Galaxy who suppress their emotions as Vulcans do, so does this make them any less worthy of self-knowledge? Has this ever hampered their attempts at reaching the pinnacle of their being? I came to the conclusion that the Vulcan way was, in fact, fundamentally wrong. Instead of repressing emotions, we should be embracing them! So I told my father this. He was so disgusted that he threw me out. When I went to the council to repeal this treatment, they ridiculed me for my theory and told me that if I was found living by my new mantra then they would throw me out of the academy. If I was found to be preaching, then they would banish me from Vulcan. Needless to say, I am no longer welcome on my home planet."

Jim's jaw went slack. "And your parents just let that happen?!"

Sybok nodded, picking up his chopsticks again and swirling the noodles around in the soup absentmindedly. "My father just stood and watched, Spock by his side. I haven't seen my home planet in over a decade."

"That's ridiculous! How could they have done that? What makes emotions so disgusting that they'd let their own son be banished?"

"As I mentioned before, the council threatened to banish me if I was found preaching my theories to others. I felt that it was such an important breakthrough for our society that it would have been selfish and irresponsible of me to keep it to myself. So I devised a way to share my emotions with others, so that they could better understand what I was trying to achieve." He paused, furrowing his brow in thought. "Are you aware of the Vulcan Mind Meld?"

"Vaguely." Jim replied.

"Well, I found that, under the right circumstances, two people could share their emotions through that link. Once people have felt what I felt, they began to understand. But it wasn't just about my feelings, they had to share their innermost emotions with me as well. When they did they all understood. They all wanted to join me." He paused again, his eyes dropping from Jim's face to his own hands, clasped in front of him. "They were scared of me. The council. They are so set in their ways they were terrified of anyone upsetting their perfect society. So long as logic dictated everything, they had control. So they banished me, never to return, so disgraced that even when crossing paths on a different planet, my family would not acknowledge me."

Jim felt his hands shaking. There was a kind of rage that came from hearing injustice. The kind of rage that was slow to burn, but once it burnt it was bright and fierce. It was the kind that he had felt the day Kodos had announced his cull. He felt it churning, bubbling away under his skin. He hated them, how could anyone turn their back on family like that?

"How dare they." he growled.

Sybok looked up, shock visible on his features.

"You couldn't have been out of your teens, how could they do that to you?!" Jim stood abruptly, the stool squeaking as he did. He felt his fists ball up, the more he thought about it, the more furious he became. He had to get out of there before he punched something. Jim stalked out of the restaurant and into the pouring rain. He swore and ran towards the nearest covered side street. Resting his head against the cool stone he seethed. That stuck up, self-righteous asshole! Sybok was worth ten of him!

Sybok appeared behind him holding his jacket over his head to shield him from the torrents of water once again. He stopped under the canopy and dropped his arm, stepping towards the Human. "Jim, it was a long time ago now, there's no nee-"

"I don't care!" He bit back. "Did they even know how lucky they were to have you?"

The Vulcan was silent, his dark eyes fixed intently on Jim's face.

"You're alive and well and they just threw you away! What a fucking waste of a life! My parents never got that chance, my dad died before he even saw me, before he saw my brother grow up. He didn't get a second chance, but your dad just wastes his! It makes me so fucking angry!"

"Jim…" Sybok began quietly, reaching a hand out to cup Jim's face.

He felt the anger disperse, leaving him feeling hollow. Tears were threatening to spill as the rain trickled from his hair down his face and neck. The Vulcan stroked a finger under his chin, bringing their faces together, and pressed a kiss to Jim's lips. It was firm and keen and Jim felt his pulse begin to race again, this time not with anger, but with want.

"Share your pain with me Jim." He whispered as he kissed him again.

Jim carded a hand through Sybok's hair. "I'll share anything you want me to. I'm all yours."

Sybok pushed wet strands of hair from Jim's face, his eyes boring into him, black in the shadow of the canopy.

Jim jumped as a shrill noise began to emanate from somewhere in his jacket pocket. The Vulcan stepped back as he fumbled to find it.

"Bones?"

"I think I've lost her, Jim."

Jim shifted out of Sybok's arms reluctantly. "Hey, hey, what do you mean?"

"I thought that going to Vulcan would bring us closer, but when I tried to speak to her today, she barely talked to me, Jim. She gave me this look, disdainful, like she was disgusted with me."

Jim frowned. "Bones, have you been drinking?"

"What do you think, smartass."

"Okay, okay, where are you? I'm coming to get you."

"I don't need a goddamn babysitter, kid."

"I never said anything about babysitting, old man. If you're going to get drunk, you're not going to be doing it alone."

Leonard was silent for a while, before sighing heavily. "I'm just at home. I'll leave the door unlocked. Thanks Jim."

The call disconnected with a low humm.

"I'm sorry, Sybok, I have to go."

The Vulcan let out a low rumble of displeasure, and nuzzled into Jim's neck. "Your friend needs you."

"Mhmm."

Sybok pulled away, and ran a thumb over Jim's cheek. "Until next time then."

Jim swallowed thickly, pulling Sybok in for one last kiss, clumsy, full of want, and desperate enough to leave him breathless, before running out into the rain towards Leonard's flat.