Even if they had been on Earth, Jim could have picked Bones out of the crowd without any trouble. He was hiding desperately under the shade of a large canvas canopy, frowning petulantly.

"Hey Bones, you look like you're enjoying yourself." Jim said as he sauntered over.

Leonard harrumphed, but stood and dragged Jim into a close hug. "It's good to see you, kid."

"Hey, hey, are you okay?" He said as he pulled away.

Bones laughed bitterly. "I've been better."

"What's happened?"

He sighed and sat back down. "So I tried to see Nyota, but they wouldn't even tell me where she was. They turned me away at the door and told me that she didn't want to see me."

"Turned you away?"

"Yeah, but I'd seen people go in just before, and just after me, so I can't help but think that maybe it was just to do with me."

Jim shook his head. "Neither of us have had enough alcohol for talk like this."

Leonard laughed again, but this time there was more mirth, and just a hint of sadness to it. "Yeah kid, tell me about it."

Jim was still fuming when he got back to the apartment that evening, but as the door whooshed open, his anger was quelled momentarily by the sound of animated voices. As he entered the room he saw his parents sat in the living room, accompanied by the most exquisite woman Jim had seen since Uhura had walked into the ballroom.

"Oh Jim, dear, come and sit down. Would you like a drink?"

He dumped his satchel down by the side of the sofa and sat down next to Pike. "No thanks."

"This is Christine Chapel, she was kind enough to show us around today." Winona said with bright smile. Jim knew where this was going. Christinewas a beautiful woman, big, blue doe eyes, and an air of defiance about her.

"Enchanted." Jim said playfully.

Christine blushed. "Likewise."

"Christine works closely with the Embassy, she knows Miss Uhura, Stonn, T'Pring, and Spock."

Jim frowned. "Really? Do you know them well?"

Christine looked at him curiously. "As well as anyone knows someone they see for work every day. So relatively well."

"I've heard that Uhura isn't seeing anyone at the moment, is everything okay?"

"Not seeing anyone? Oh, things are a little tense at the moment because of everything that happened when she was on Earth, but she's not notseeing anyone." She said with surprise.

"What happened on Earth?"

Christine looked at him quizzically again. "Oh, I would have thought you'd've known, I heard that you were around at the time."

Jim's smile was just on the aggressive side of flirtatious. "It must have slipped my mind, please enlighten me."

She frowned. "I shouldn't say, if it got out it could cause some trouble for the Vulcan Embassy. I don't want to start anything..."

He leant forward. "Come on! I won't tell anyone, I promise!"

Christine chewed his lip, but sighed resignedly. "Okay, but I don't know for sure that it's about Uhura! All he said to me was that had recently "saved" a friend from getting into a bad relationship. He didn't say any names but I assumed it was Uhura, given that she was getting close to this one guy ... you know, dancing with him at every function, going out for drinks, seeing each other privately..."

"Did he tell you why he felt the need to stick his nose in?" He growled.

Christine "Apparently he didn't approve. There was something about the guy that he didn't think was appropriate for her."

"Appropriate? Right."

"Do you know the guy?"

Jim pursed his lips. "No. No idea."

"Right." She said, glancing over to Winona. "Well, thank you for the tea, I should really be going."

"Oh, of course." She replied, shooting Jim a warning look. "Thank you ever so much for today. Please feel free to come round at any time."

"Scaring off perfectly lovely girls now Jim." Winona hissed as Christine left. "What on Earth is wrong with you?"

"That guy she was talking about, you do realise that was Bones, right?"

His mother stared at him. "You're joking."

"No, I'm not. I spoke to him today, the stories match up. He's distraught. He has no idea what he did to deserve this kind of treatment."

"That son of a … Jim, this is awful, but please don't go doing anything reckless."

He sighed and sat back down heavily. "I … I won't, Mom, I'm just appalled, and angry, and … just when I thought that maybe he … that Spock wasn't …"

He trailed off as his mother pressed a kiss into his hair. "I know darling, I know. I'm sorry."

oOo

Jim was lying in bed that night, his eyes closed and his thoughts drifting, but very much awake. He didn't sleep much at the best of times, but now he had so many thoughts buzzing around his head that he didn't stand a chance. It was Spock's fault? Bones losing out on being with the woman he loved, that was all Spock's doing. All because he thought he was inappropriate?

There was a chime from the front door.

He frowned, then opened his eyes. No one came to visit him this late unless they were drunk, and if they were drunk then they wouldn't have used the doorbell. He groaned as he climbed out of bed, his muscles still sore from the day before, and padded over to the door.

He opened it with a swish and was shocked to see Spock standing in front of him, a slightly startled expression flickering over his usually-stoic face. They stood looking at each other for a few moments, neither of them entirely sure how they ended up where they were.

Jim broke first.

"Why are you here?"

Spock's eyes flitted from Jim's eyes, to his lips, then to the floor.

"May I come in?" he asked to the floor.

Jim stepped out of his way and watched in awe as the Vulcan walked into the room. He stood for a few moments, his hands clasped stiffly behind his back before he spoke.

"Are you well, James?" he began.

Jim's eyes narrowed a fraction, "Yes."

The Vulcan nodded tersely. "That is good."

They stood in silence for another few moments. Jim looked Spock up and down. If he didn't know any better he would have said that he was nervous. The way his fingers, clasped together behind his back, were twitching just slightly. The way that his dark eyes were looking pointedly at everywhere but Jim.

After a while the silence began to creep uncomfortably. Jim couldn't take his eyes from Spock and the Vulcan had still yet to look at Jim.

Jim cleared his throat. "Yeah ... so it's great and all, but it's the middle of the night, and you didn't come here just to ask me if I'm well. So spit it out."

Spock was slightly taken aback by the frankness of Jim's reply, but sighed, shaking his head slightly. He shouldn't have been surprised really. This was why he was here after all.

"I'm only on Vulcan because I heard that you were here." He confessed. "I had to see you, I … I have been struggling to repress these emotions. As a Vulcan, I am well versed in the repression and strict control of emotions, but in this case I find that I cannot restrain them. Despite my better judgement, despite your species, your sordid past, and despite your reckless and shameless nature, I ... James, you must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire, and … love you."

Only then did Spock's gaze fall to Jim.

He was still. Completely silent and totally overwhelmed. It had been the last thing that Jim had been expecting. There was no way that Spock could be in love with him, no way at all. It was madness. Especially given the fact that he had just waxed poetic about how he loved him despite all of his apparent shortcomings. Not a single word about why or how, just that he did even though he shouldn't.

Jim looked at the Vulcan again. Then his surprise, the little fluttering in the pit of his stomach, that little elated light, was extinguished, replaced with a white hot rage.

He turned to Spock, a snarl forming on his face. "Well, thanks, I guess. I think that's appropriate, wouldn't you say, to say thank you? I kind of don't want to though, you see I never wanted your incredibly low opinion of me. I never asked for it! I don't want you to feel like you have to strain your narrow Vulcan mind to offer these meagre opinions and feelings. God! Doesn't that sicken you? Can you add that to your sordid little list of things you love me despite of?" he spat, "So you can take your ardent admiration and shove it up your tight Vulcan ass!"

Spock's eyes widened at this. He didn't even seem offended, he just seemed as shocked as it was possible for a Vulcan to seem. However, it wasn't long before that surprise turned to barely concealed contempt.

"May I enquire why you have refused me in such a brusque manner?"

"Oh you can enquire alright! First of all, why the hell would you come and tell me that you loved me by letting me know about all of the little faults that you have found so utterly deplorable in me that you've had to wait until now to get over them and tell me how you feel? If everything that you say is so true then you should have been expecting a brusque response!"

The Vulcan frowned imperceptibly but remained silent.

"And don't even begin to think that that's the only reason! Why would I, hell, could I ever love a guy who stuck his nose into a relationship that he had nothing to do with and completely ruin the possible future happiness of my best friend? Family doesn't always have to be blood, Spock. He was the family that I chose, and you chose to destroy the one sliver of happiness that that man has managed to find since he had everything he ever loved taken away from him!"

Spock's frown deepened but, again, he said nothing.

Jim deflated just a little. He shook his head, his tone just edging on desperate. "Aren't you even going to deny it?"

Spock felt his chest tighten. There was a glimmer of something in Jim's face, a waver in his voice, but he couldn't place it. He sighed and straightened his posture again.

"I see no reason to deny it. I did what I deemed best for a friend of mine. She was engaged in a relationship with a drunk divorcee who kept particularly dubious company and could offer her no stability. I saw no positive future to be gained through the relationship. It was only logical."

Jim's laugh was sharp and bitter. "Logical? Logi- Jesus Christ, Spock! Love isn't supposed to be logical! The positive future she could have had would have been happiness with a man she fell in love with! A good man, I might add. A darn sight better than you! He is a doctor, and he is only ever drunk because he was made a divorcee not long after his father died. His father was in so much pain that he helped him die, only to find out that if he had kept his father in pain a little longer they could have cured him, but he didn't. He couldn't see him in pain any longer and he has never forgiven himself for that. Then his ex-wife took everything, including his daughter. If you ever have kids, tell me that you wouldn't react like that if they were torn away from you? Even your tiny, shrivelled Vulcan heart must be able to comprehend that!"

Spock had paled considerably, he looked vaguely sick, but Jim didn't stop.

"In fact, the only time recently that I have seen that man happy was when he was with Uhura. Now you've taken that away from him as well. See what your logic has done! Are you pleased with yourself, you loathsome Vulcan prick!"

The room was still and quiet, Jim's last syllables still hanging in the air.

"And you know what, it's not even just that! It's your whole Vulcan attitude! What you guys did to Sybok …"

"Sybok!" Spock interjected, with more force than Jim had expected. If he hadn't known any better he would have said that there was venom in his voice as he spat his brother's name. "What do you know of Sybok?"

Jim felt his lip curl, "Oh, I know him. We're quite good friends actually. But I get the impression that he might fancy a bit more. And you know what? I reckon we'd make a good pair. I'd much prefer his carefree attitude towards your fucked up Vulcan sensibilities than you, with your rod so far up your ass you'd turn away your own brother for embracing his emotions. Is it so disgustingly Human to feel these things, Spock? I've seen the man cry, which is more than I can say for any other Vulcan I've ever had the displeasure of meeting. Jesus fuck! At least with him I'd know it was true! You say that you love me but I don't even think you know what it's like to have an emotion, let alone be capable of anything more complex. As far as I'm concerned, your brother has it right. You're the ones that are fucked up!"

Spock was quiet as Jim let the anger drain from him, panting and shaking from the anger as it subsided, leaving a discomforting hole in his chest, and a deep sense of grief.

The Vulcan's eyes looked everywhere but Jim's face as he spoke. "This is the truth then, of how you really feel about me. You have my thanks for explaining it so fully. Now that you have made yourself so abundantly clear, perhaps you should return to Sybok." He spat the name, raising his voice in a way that Jim hadn't thought was possible for him to do. "Since you obviously know him so well, and since his existence shines so abhorrent a light on me. Go! Go and be happy in whatever kind of debauched and misguided bliss you believe you will be able to achieve with him!"

"Ha!" Jim scoffed. "Now you're angry. Isn't that an emotion, Spock? You can do emotions then? So, how does that make you any better than your brother?" The Vulcan's expression soured. Jim laughed bitterly. "You know, from the very beginning, from the moment you walked into that ballroom, with your stuck up friends and conceited attitude, and every moment we have spent together since has convinced me that you are the last guy in the entire fucking galaxy could ever fall in love with!"

With that Jim stalked away from the Vulcan, leaving as much distance between them as physically possible. Another few weeks and he was going to be off that godforsaken planet for good, and hopefully he'd never have to look at another Vulcan ever again.


Jim didn't see Spock the next day, or the day after that. He was glad, as far as he was concerned he never wanted to see that conceited hobgoblin again. Just the thought of the Vulcan made his blood boil. How dare he?! How dare he swan in and expect that of him, especially after everything he had done! Was he expecting him to swoon? To fall into his arms like some kind of southern belle at the thought of him loving him against his better judgement? The fuck he was. Who the hell did he think he was?!

Jim pounded these questions into the pavement as he ran, music blaring in his ears, the frustrations melting into his muscles until they burned. The gravity was different on Vulcan, the temperature and humidity too, and soon Jim found himself getting tired, his lungs on fire and his limbs giving way. That was a good enough sign as any to head home.

The house was empty when he got back, and Jim was glad for it, it meant his mother couldn't shout at him for having an extra long shower, with real water, and Pike couldn't grumble at him for leaving his clothes strewn about the place. The shower hissed as it turned on, a gratifying cloud of steam appearing as Jim stepped in. The water pounded his shoulders, soaking his hair and washing the film of salt from his skin. His muscles were going to regret this in the morning, but as the water poured down his body Jim found that he couldn't care less for the cramps and stiff muscles of tomorrow.

The water shut off with a clunk and Jim grabbed the towel off the rack and rubbed it over his face and chest before wrapping it around his waist and wandering through to the bedroom. As he dragged the towel over his hair he heard a message ding from the other side of the room. He looked over to see his PADD light up beside the bed. Frowning, he picked it up. It was from Spock. For a second his heart clenched in his chest and he went to open it. Then he felt the anger again and growled, throwing it onto the bed and wandering back to the bathroom.

As he got to the door he heard the familiar automated voice informing him that his new message would be played. Groaning, Jim ignored it and began to aggressively brush his teeth.

"James." the message began. "Jim".

He paused his brushing. Spock never called him Jim.

"I … I admit that I am glad you did not answer my call. I have no desire to tell you this to your face, if nothing else because seeing your face again after being refused in such a manner would cause me great pain." Jim spat the remnants of his toothpaste into the sink and rinsed out his mouth. "I shall not renew my sentiments, although they remain unchanged. I only wished to … explain." Jim stuck his head around the door to see the Vulcan's severe eyes set in a solemn expression, projected above his PADD. If he hadn't known any better, Jim would have said he looked almost forlorn.

"My actions regarding Nyota and your friend, Doctor McCoy, were meant well. I had thought that I was saving a friend from a lifetime of abuse and unhappiness. I felt that since one partner had left him, and he had wallowed in spirits, why should he not do that again. Evidence has shown that history repeats itself, so for this I won't apologise. I'm not sorry that I separated them, although I am sorry that I didn't take the time to … to better understand the doctor, and see that perhaps the situation was more complex than I had first thought." Jim snorted, flopping back onto the bed, upsetting the PADD so that it played Spock's message at an angle instead. It would have been comical, if Jim hadn't been seething.

"The second matter I wished to address was that of my brother, Sybok. I'm aware that he has told you about how he chose to embrace his emotions and was shunned for doing so. However, this was not the full story. Vulcans do not act without forethought and logic, we would not have turned him away so readily unless there was a valid reason to. Jim, let me assure you, there was good reason."

Jim propped himself up on his elbows, cocking his head to the side, mimicking the jaunty angle the PADD had fallen to. Holo-Spock sighed before continuing.

"Sybok is my half-brother, his mother was High Master T'Rea. After her death, Sybok became obsessed with reaching her katra so that he could learn the location of Sha Ka Ree, the Vulcan version of your Christian Eden. He was obsessed by it, consumed by this need to reach it. However, in pursuit of this misguided quest, Sybok mentally assaulted another Vulcan, a watcher at the Hall of Ancient Thought, leaving her crippled. The Vulcan assembly banished him, and while my father will never admit it, it was a great blow to him, and he struggled with his own emotions for a long time afterwards." Holo-Spock paused and Jim realised that he had been holding his breath.

He released it shakily as the Vulcan continued. "Had this been his only crime, then I doubt he would have been anything but welcomed with open arms when we met again on Earth. However his banishment did nothing but fuel his desire to reach Sha Ka Ree. Unfortunately he realised that he could not achieve this alone and had taken to assaulting others, offering to share his pain so that they might better understand his quest. This sharing of pain was nothing more than a reliving of the victim's most painful experiences, every heartbreak, grief and regret… it is needless to say that this broke many people. Sybok used his own mental healing to temporarily fix what he himself had broken, leading many to believe that he had guided them through some sort of self-discovery. In truth, all he had done was violated their minds on a most heinous level. He did not care for them, or their pain, all he wanted was to be a step closer to Sha Ka Ree."

Jim had stilled, the message was still playing, but he could barely hear what was being said. He heard Sybok's words in his ears. Share your pain.He didn't want to believe it, but it all made sense. How could he have been so blind? He felt the ghost of his kisses and his stomach roiled at the thought. He replayed the message again, until he had the entire story ingrained into his memory. Spock hadn't rejected him because of his emotions, he had rejected him because he was insane, and his insanity was getting people hurt. Sybok had been banished to protect people.

If he had been so wrong about this, what else had he been wrong about?

His mind was swimming. He had to get out, to clear his head. He had to stop thinking about Spock, it wasn't doing him any good. Just because there reason for what he did didn't mean that reason was an excuse. Yet it didn't matter where he went, there were always Vulcans, and every one reminded him of Spock. That's what you got for going to the homeworld, Kirk. He mused. One place that Vulcans rarely went were the gardens. There was something about the decorative flowers that most of them seemed to think too arbitrary to spend any time around.

The Earth Embassy gardens were just how Jim had hoped they would be. A little slice of home in the endless Vulcan dust. There were bright, bulbous bromeliads, and tall, green palms. He brushed his hands against the bark of a cypress as he walked along the decorative path than ran through the gardens. There were cedars with delicate white flowers and plump yellow berries, red hot pokers, bright bougainvillea, and acacia. He breathed in deeply and he could smell the eucalyptus and honeysuckle. He felt a smile creep onto his face.

"Smells like home, doesn't it?"

Jim startled. The voice took him by surprise. He had thought the garden was empty.

Looking down he saw a woman kneeling in the dirt. Her skin was tanned and her was hair dark, peppered with streaks of grey, falling prettily around her face. She wore a traditional hooded Vulcan tunic, grey and loose fitting, and thick gardener's gloves on her hands. She stood up with a groan and brushed herself off.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise anyone was here!"

The woman smiled, her face creasing as she did, a warm light in her eyes. "It's not a problem, don't worry! I was just tending to the garden. I try to keep some Earth plants growing here, but it's difficult. The soil is all wrong and the environment is just too harsh."

She frowned down at the sad-looking daylily at her feet. Jim touched a leaf on the bush next to him gingerly. "You seem to have done pretty well. It's nice to see some green amongst all this dust."

The woman's face lit up. "Thank you, that's very kind of you to say."

Jim scratched the nape of his neck self-consciously. "It's not flattery, honestly. Only the truth."

She took off her right glove and offered out her hand. "Amanda."

"Jim." He said, looking at her hand quizzically before taking it. "Vulcans don't normally shake hands."

Amanda's laugh was bright and clear, lyrical and a welcome sound on such a repressed planet. "Oh honey, I'm not Vulcan." She said, removing her hood to reveal round, Human ears. "I just married one."

This time Jim was the one to laugh. "You married a Vulcan? I don't mean to be rude, but I thought they didn't do the whole … love thing."

Amanda smiled wistfully. "Oh I assure you, they do. Just not perhaps in the way that Humans are accustomed."

Jim raised a brow. Amanda raised one in return. "There, see! That's a very Vulcan trait." She grinned. "They fool themselves into thinking that they are emotionless, expressionless things, but the thing is, it's all in their eyebrows."

Jim laughed. Amanda was pleasant company, kind and refreshingly Human. They talked for a while about the plants, about Earth and the academy. She invited him into her house, at the other end of the garden to the Embassy, out of the glaring Vulcan sun. She boiled some water, soaking some tea leaves in it and strained the amber liquid into two drinking bowls.

Jim smiled as he sipped the tea. It was bitter like all Vulcan tea, but Amanda had mixed some honey in to sweeten the taste. "So, if Vulcan's don't love like Humans do, how do they love?"

The woman glanced thoughtfully at the ceiling. "Quietly. Very slowly, almost not at all, and then all at once." Jim swallowed thickly. "Vulcans feel very strongly, often more strongly than Humans, but they control it, keep it hidden. So hidden, in fact, that it can often take a good decade for a Vulcan to realise that they feel anything for someone at all, but then that's the Vulcan way. I remember the first time Spock realised that he like that Uhura girl, he-"

Jim inhaled his drink. Amanda frowned, reaching over to pat him on the back.

"Spock?" Jim wheezed.

Amanda nodded. "My son. Do you know him?"

Jim's mind was reeling. "I …" he stammered. "Yes … I do … I mean … a little, I guess."

"You didn't know he was half Human?" She said, the corners of her mouth quirking upwards.

Jim shook his head slowly, taking a shaky sip of his drink again and clearing his throat. "But he … he's so …"

"Vulcan?" Amanda finished. Jim nodded. "Yes, the Vulcan genes are strong, and he takes so much after his father. He was a miracle child. After so long, there he was, squalling just like a Human. I thought that he would be a perfect medium, half Human, half Vulcan, but growing up here was so difficult for him. He never got to be a child, because children don't have childhoods in the same way here."

She looked so sad, it hurt to think of how lonely it must have been for her, to see her child grow up so cold. Jim touched her hand gently. Amanda flinched and looked up, her expression softening as a few rebellious tears spilled down her cheeks. She brushed them away with the back of her hand. "I'm sorry, I'm going on and on. I just don't know when to shut up."

Jim frowned, clasping her hand in his. "Please don't apologise. It must have been difficult for you. I'm no Vulcan, you don't have to hide your emotions from me."

Something flickered over her expression so briefly that Jim didn't catch what it was, then she smiled gently and squeezed his hand back. "You're a kind boy, Jim. A good person."

"Cadet Kirk?" Came an exclamation from the doorway. Jim froze as Spock stepped into the room. Amanda looked up at her son, then back to Jim. The name Kirk spilled from her lips and Jim knew he had to leave. He mumbled an apology and left, brushing past Spock on his way out. As soon as he got to the other end of the garden he broke out into a run, flinging the gate open and sprinting down the road.

He stopped to brace himself against a building, gulping in the air until his heart stopped pumping so furiously.

"James."

Jim looked up to see Spock standing beside him, a sheen of sweat on his brow.

"Jesus, you Vulcans are fast." He panted. Spock said nothing, his gaze glued to the floor. "Look," Jim began. "Spock, I'm really sorry. I didn't know it was your house, and then your mum invited me in for tea and I-"

"Jim."

The name was spoken so softly it barely registered, but he paused and looked up again to see the Vulcan clasping his hands nervously behind his back again.

"I … thank you."

Jim frowned. "What for?"

Spock shifted from one foot to the other. "For spending time with my mother. She gets lonely sometimes, even though she lives so close to the Embassy. It does her good to spend time with other Humans."

He nodded and straightened up. "It was a pleasure. Send her my apologies for leaving so abruptly. It was rude of me." Jim paused. "Just tell her I suddenly felt ill … or something."

Spock nodded. "Please feel free to visit her again, if you wish."

"I wouldn't want to be an imposition."

"It would be no imposition. She seemed to be enjoying your company." His eyes flitted over Jim's face for a moment before returning to the ground. "She does not invite just anyone to drink tea in her home."

A strangely comfortable silence fell between them for a few moments before Jim spoke. "I need to go and get some shopping. I said I'd cook tonight, so I'd better …" He trailed off and gestured behind him.

The Vulcan nodded. "Shall I show you to where the Terran shops are, or will you be cooking Vulcan food?"

Jim winced. He had wanted to leave as soon as possible, but in reality, he had no idea where the Terran shops were, and he and Chris weren't exactly staunch vegetarians. "Just point me in the right direction and that'd be great."

Spock nodded again, but ignoring his request lead him through the narrow streets of central Shi'Kahr himself, amongst the towering spires and rugged rock formations that made up the city. When they reached the shop Jim flinched. All of the signs and tickets were scrawled the swirling, spidering hand of the Vulcan shop attendant. "I'm really sorry, Spock, but I might need your help. I don't read much Vulcan…"

Spock merely nodded and followed him into the shop. Jim told him what he wanted and they collected the bits and pieces quietly as they went. Jim didn't even try to stop him when Spock walked him home.


When they reached the house, Jim knew something was wrong. He could hear a woman sobbing. His mother didn't cry, unless...

"Mom?" Jim said tentatively as he walked through the door. His mother was kneeling on the floor, trembling. There was a cracked PADD beside her, flickering with distorted images that Jim couldn't make out.

"Mom, what's wrong?" He dropped the bags and rushed over to the distraught woman. She didn't answer, breaking down to another bout of hysterical tears. "Mom, you have to stop crying and tell me what's wrong!"

"D-deneva P-prime..." she sobbed, "The-they att-tacked th-the colony ... y-your b-broth-ther..."

Jim felt cold dread wash over him. He took his mother by her shoulders and gripped her tightly. "Mom, who attacked Deneva?"

"P-p-parasites. Neu-neural parasites." she choked.

Spock stilled behind Jim.

"Parasites ..." Kirk breathed

Pike stormed into the house, glancing at Jim before taking a deep breath and reaching down to comfort his wife. He shushed her, smoothing the hair from her face and wiping away the tears before scooping her up into his arms and carrying her into the bedroom. He pressed soothing kisses to her brow and gently squeezed a sedative hypospray into her neck, letting her fall gently from his arms. Closing the door softly behind him, he made his way back into the room.

"What's going on?" Jim said pleadingly.

Pike looked at him, stony faced. "Your mother couldn't take it. Losing George nearly killed her, losing Sam? I'm so sorry Jim." His shoulders sagged. He looked older. "There have been reports of rioting and mass homicide on Deneva Prime. They didn't know what it was at first, just that people were going insane, but they've discovered this parasite … it latches onto the nervous system, tortures the host, drives them to insanity and then … death."

Jim was numb. He could hear his step-dad talking. He heard the words 'too far gone', 'lost cause', he heard 'quarantine' and 'destroy', but he felt nothing. Then he heard a soft voice from behind him.

"Tushah nash-vey k'odu"

His voice was like boiling water on ice, he felt it seeping through the cracks. Tushah nash-vey k'odu. He felt the white hot anger. Tushah nash-vey k'odu. He felt the sickening grief tugging at him. Tushah nash-vey k'odu. But there would be no grieving. Not until he knew his brother was dead. Not until it was definite that there was nothing else to be done. He didn't believe in no win scenarios.

"No."

Pike stopped pacing and looked up.

"No." Jim repeated. "No, he can't be dead. I don't believe it!"

He paced back into the living room and picked up the dying PADD from the floor. "They said that Deneva had been attacked, they didn't say if the parasites could be killed, or if there was any way to save the infected! They didn't say that they even tried!"

He hit the PADD a few times, the image flickering more clearly each time. The picture shuddered one more time before the sound crackled in.

"-tims seem to be hiding inside. I repeat, the victims seem to be hiding inside. If you see anyone hiding do not, I repeat, do not approach them!"

The images were shaky, recorded on some sort of hand-held device. There were people screaming, buildings burning, figures skulking in the shadows. A child ran out from his father's grasp, running towards an abandoned building. The child crossed the shadow of the block. The father cried out in desperation. Something flew out from a broken window, knocking the child flat. There was something, mottled and red, clinging to his back. A parasite. The child screamed. Someone shot a phaser, hitting the creature again and again, but the child carried on screaming. He screamed and screamed until, suddenly, he fell silent.

Jim felt his hands shaking as he replayed the clip over and over again. He studied every movement. There were more clips, more reports but still he didn't understand. How were they doing it? Why were they doing it? How could they stop it? He needed to be there, he needed to go down and study it. He didn't care about the quarantine, if he had a chance to save Sam, to save Deneva, then he was going to take it.

"I need to go to Deneva."

Pike looked up. Jim didn't know how long it had been, but Christopher and Spock were sat at the table, staring into empty mugs.

"Jim." Pike began.

"I need to go to Deneva."

"It will take days to get there. It'll be too late."

Jim rounded on him. "I can't just stay here! I need to do something!"

Pike was quiet, he glanced at Spock.

"Don't you both look at me like I'm deranged! This isn't just Sam, this is an entire colony we're talking about!"

When neither of them replied Jim snarled, retreating back to the sofa, playing the footage through again.

Pike sighed wearily, turning to the Vulcan. "I'm sorry that you had to be here to see this Spock."

Spock shook his head. "Do not apologise, I am sorry for your loss."

"The sun." Jim said quietly.

The conversation died. Pike looked over at him. "Jim?"

"They never go into the sun." He said, a little louder this time.

"Let me see that." He said, taking the PADD from his step-son and sitting down on the sofa. Jim and Spock sat on either side of him as all three of them pored over the footage.

"You're right." Pike breathed.

"Then we have to do something!" Jim said desperately.

"But what can we do?"

Spock stood abruptly and walked towards the front door. He paused briefly glancing back at Jim before leaving without a word.