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Carlisle-POV
It felt like my world had blown up. Seeing my daughter led there lifeless broke all the strings inside of me. I've seen and felt darkness and death before, the kind that makes our street like an old fashioned photograph, everything a shade of grey. This isn't like that. This is the darkness that robs you of your best sense and replaces it with a paralysing fear. In this darkness I sit muscles cramped and unable to move. I only know my eyes are still there because I can feel myself blink, still instinctively moisturizing the organs I have no current use for. I can't hear anything either. Bella has committed suicide. We will never hear the beautiful laugh, see her clumsy walk, and feel that hug that makes everything in the dark world bright again. I'd lost a daughter for good this time. Dr Jonathan was calling me but I was frozen in that spot. I couldn't move. Bella. Our Bella that I stupidly left behind. Dead. The word clicked me in place and reality hit me like a wave. If I couldn't save her before I could save her now. I rushed to the bed a little too quickly but luckily no one was paying that much attention. I shouted at Alice to go and get Esme I didn't want her to see all of this. I leaned over Bella's body to take a look while the others were trying to resuscitate her. Come on Bella breathe. No luck. I took over the CPR taking the matter into my hands, my body was still shaking with shock and rushes of pure terror washed though me. No no no. It was no use I was going to have to bite her and hope. Not here though, maybe I should tell the others she's dead, to stop resuscitating. I don't know. Everyone's screaming at me. All different things.
I . C a n ' t . .
I blur everyone out as another doctor takes over the CPR. There shocking her now with the AED. I lean forward towards her, to look at her face a last time to see her undying beauty. However I don't see beauty by a long way. I see the dark purple circles under her eyes resulting in the lack of sleep. The palest skin I've ever seen a human have without any colour in the slightest, tinted blue lips with her salty hair clinging to her face in rag tails. She had cut it short making her look a little older, a little wiser. Her body so fragile beneath us and she must of lost at the very least 20 lbs. It looked like she hadn't eaten in days. She's dead and I can't even save her. No murmur of her heart beat… Simply nothing. I take another tactic. While the others resuscitate I shout at the nurses to get me theatre instruments. I was going to have to pump the heart manually. I got the newly arrived scalpel and sliced a box of skin away over her heart. The others gawp at me while I shout orders at them. The nurses stop resuscitating and the monitor stays in its annoying constant state. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Curse the stupid thing. I remove the skin and place my hand under her heart and squeezed it in a constant motion. I repeat with non-existent tears streaming down my face. The scent of her heavenly blood fills the room and the others crowd the body and me.
"Carlisle she's dead. There's no use. We have to stop; there are others out there we need to save." I ignore him. This is not any ordinary casualty though! This is Bella. And I will save her. I start to dry sob uncontrollably. Keep going Carlisle. Don't stop. I let go after 20 minutes of me manually pumping blood. My body frozen in place with hope. Please. Please. Please. And there it was. The best sound in the entire universe. Her heartbeat. It was faint. Very faint but it was something. The others cheer and some pat me on the back. "Good work Carlisle" they exclaim. Some shaking their heads in disbelief. I heard faint padding of Esme and Alice's feet as they fly through the front entrance of the hospital. "Dr Jonathan, book theatre and let's get her in as soon as possible please." I turn away from him and kiss Bella on the cheek and if she wakes up I'll give her the choice to change to one of us. I request a nurse to find her medical records as I turn away to meet my wife and other daughter outside the room.
