Esme- POV
I was watching Emmett and Jasper fight over who won on the game. Emmet was getting all hyped up over nothing and Jasper was biting back at Emmet's smarmy comments. Rosalie was up in her room probably pruning new styles. Edward was out hunting before he left for his trip but I had no idea where Alice had got to. She was supposed to be back 1 hour ago and hasn't phoned. Hugh I hate this. We had nothing left of a family since we left forks and left b…Bella behind. Oh how I miss dear Bella. The pain of losing her was at first unexplainable but it got better. Slowly. However I still feel like a huge wave has hit us of guilt. I can't stop feeling guilty for leaving her behind even though she wanted this to happen. It just didn't feel right. My daughter. It reminds me of my human past when I lost my first baby. 365 days exactly since we left. I miss Carlisle the most. He throws himself into his work more than ever now and I think he tries to his behind it. I miss the way we were. I miss Bella.
I walk to the kitchen to find my phone that I placed there earlier and it started ringing. It was Alice. My stone heart started to beat rapidly and quicker, why would she be phoning? What's happened to her? She never phones and she's never late back she knows I worry. I answer it immediately. "Alice? Are you okay?" I cried down the phone.
"Esme" she said in a small voice. "Esme I'm on my way to meet you at home"
"Alice are you okay?" I could tell by her quiet panicked voice that something bad was wrong.
"Esme, its Bella." she replied. It felt like a tsunami of pain had hit me and I stumbled and grabbed hold of the kitchen top. Bella. What had happened to our Bella?! I hung up quick and raced to the door, as soon as Alice walked in and saw me she burst into dry tears.
"Alice? Alice, whatever it will be it will be okay hunny. Shh stop crying." I tried to calm her.
"No no you don't know what's happened Esme there is no way it will ever be okay ever again and it's our entire fault!" She cried hysterically. I grabbed her shoulders and looked her in the eyes which were swimming in pain, grieve and guilt.
"What's happened?" I whispered.
"It's Bella. She's dead." I let go and turned away as I begun to sink to the ground. I tried to recover to hold on to something. I wanted Carlisle. I heard Alice call my name between her sobs but it was all blurred out. All I could think about was Bella. I let out a sob and it gathered all the vampires in the house. I couldn't breathe, not like I needed air but all the life was swept out of me. Bella, dead. No it couldn't be this must be all one big mistake.
"How?" I asked in the smallest whisper, it was all I could get out.
"She committed suicide. Esme I'm so sorry I couldn't get there in time. I was in a car accident and was delayed!" I couldn't hear anymore I was to upset. I couldn't breathe. What? A car accident too? Did it really make her so depressed that she wanted to die? I felt like I was swimming in guilt. Was it us leaving? Then had killed our own daughter, our own family! Oh the pain. I couldn't stand. I couldn't move or open my eyes; I just wanted to curl up right there.
"Esme come on we need to go!" Alice tugged.
"Is she with Carlisle?" I asked. She nodded with a sad frown. That's when I realised that I needed to stand up and be a mother to my other children and be strong for them. I got in the car and Alice skidding into the passenger seat and I started to drive to the hospital leaving the others staring after us. Alice started to fill me in on the details on how she saw her jump here in Phoenix and how Alice got there seconds too late because of the crash. I looked through the windscreen trying with all my might not to start sobbing and to keep a straight face for Alice. Once we arrived we flew through the entrance to the hospital straight to the reception to get directions. "Hello I wonder if you can help, do you know where my husband, Dr Carlisle Cullen is please?" I asked with my best false smile. She looked pretty staggered at first.
"Sure thing. He's right through them doors and is waiting outside the theatre room with a young casualty. I advise you..." But I didn't listen to the rest of the girls answer. I grabbed Alice's hand I raced toward the theatre room. I saw Carlisle leaning into the girl on the bed and kiss her on the cheek. That when it hit, Bella was the one on the bed. I drew in a deep breath and waited for Carlisle to open the door. He came straight to me and held open his arms, I flung myself at him gaining a few dirty looked for some reason of the other female doctors. His scent, body and voice helped to calm me down. He filled me in on what he had to do to start her heart again while Alice and I listened and let relief flush through our body. I couldn't hold it in anymore and broke into sobs into Carlisle's shoulder. But all in all Bella was alive.
"We need to call Charlie" I stated after a while of silence.
"Shouldn't we calk Renee first? She is the one that lives here?" Alice chirped in.
"Alice you phone Renee outside but try and keep her calm. What Bella used to tell us of her she isn't the most grown up type." Carlisle replied.
"Is Bella awake?" I knew the chances weren't good but I wanted to check.
"No hunny, I'm sorry to say I don't know when or if she will wake. I think she is in some sort of coma so I can't see her walking up anytime soon. I'm sorry." He sadly replied.
"Don't be sorry. You did everything you could. Thank you for everything. I love you so much." I exclaimed with another tight hug, I really had missed him. Alice then entered the room with a pout on her face.
"I tried to keep her calm but if I must say, she is impossible! Anyway she is on her way now in a load of hysterics. I also asked her if I should have phoned Charlie but Renee said Charlie died 3 months ago from a heart attack." Alice told us. Poor Bella. We should have been there for her but instead we left her all alone I can't even believe we listened to her, we should have stayed. Carlisle's pager went off and disappointment rushed through me. He had to leave again.
"Esme I'm being called to theatre to operate on Bella now. I don't know what the odds are for Bella to live but I'll do my best baby." Carlisle told me while holding me tight.
"Okay" I whispered back not wanting to leave him and not wanting Bella to go anywhere that could take her precious life away, but I obeyed and took Alice by the hand and sat outside in the waiting room ready to deal with a hysterical mother.
