86. American Strategy

"If I don't know what I'm doing, then how can the enemy possibly know what I'm doing?"

"That... actually explains a lot…."

87. Suffer for your art

"So you're telling me that your red markers all died so you used your blood to color the drawing in? And now you're regretting it because blood turns brown when it dries, not because you've lost a sizable portion of your bodily fluids?"

"...I wasn't kidding when I said the deadlines leave me half dead, Taiwan-san."

88. Gravity

"Apparently America spent more money on a movie in fictional outer space than I did on my mission to get into actual outer space? I can't say I'm surprised."

89. Comrade

"Comrade, steel production is down,

I said comrade, you must sleep on the ground,

I said comrade, you best wipe off that frown or you'll spend! A! Month! In the gulags!

There is no fun in the U-S-S-R! It's no fun at the U-S-S-R!

You shall be working all day, and be working all night, because for Mother Russia you will fight!

Comrade, you'll be shot in a ditch!

I said comrade, if you speak you'll be snitched!

I said comrade, you will never get hitched because you'll die! Of! Starvation!"

Everyone on the judging committee voted for Russia's version. When asked why, they cited "historical accuracy".

90. Obama Action Figures

"BROBAMA! Check this it out! I bought this action figure of you with kick-ass katanas from Japan!"

"...Alfred. I think we might need to have a talk with Japan."


86: One American commander actually said something along the lines to this.

88: They really did spend more money on the movie Gravity than India did on their Mars Mission…

MARS MISSION: 73 million US dollars

GRAVITY MOVIE: 100 million US dollars

89's link: post/131058266797/senspookyarchy-spookyblackconservative